What standards of conventional beauty have you struggled with most?

[Jambalaya]

I am SO glad that ideas of what's attractive are becoming more diverse. In personal terms, what crazy standards of conventional beauty are you glad to see the back of? I am relieved to embrace my textured hair and pasty-white skin. Conventional standards have often dictated smooth silky hair and a deep tan. I became exhausted trying to attain these two things. I once ended up in the ER after my head swelled up when I tried to get a keratin straightening treatment. And I am never tanning again. I never got anywhere with it, anyway. My pale white skin that shows all my veins will just have to to do. It's the way I am. Last time I bared myself at a swimming pool, my friend's friend, who I had only just met, goes "God, you are so white!" LOL!

And the hair. Oh, the hair. What a hot mess. LOL! I don't care anymore.

Oh - I'm also glad to see the back of notions that tall is good. I am so uncomfortable in heels.

What standards of conventional beauty have you tried to embrace in the past and are glad to let go?

 

[MamaBee]

@Jambalaya I’m too old to keep up with what’s in or out..I probably have whiter skin than you..I visited a makeup counter when I was younger..The girl said she couldn’t find a color light enough for me because the lightest color she had was alabaster!!! Hahaha

 

[Jambalaya]

It's not really about what's in or out, tho, it's about the conventional standards of beauty that we see everywhere and that many of us have internalized. Everything thin, white, blond, tanned, straight-haired, and tall/heeled. Bleurgh. So glad that media is starting to diversify. I look at the clothing site Boden, and they use many BIPOC models. Yay!

 

[AprilBaby]

Thinness. It’s not in my genes anymore.

 

[Karl_K]

none, I'm butt ugly and accept it!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

none, I'm butt ugly and accept it!

Boys are not butt ugly - they have character

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Tanning
tanning is stupid especially with the ozone hole down here, it doesn't have to be hot to burn
i used to bake till i blistered, id go red? Blister, peel, slightly tan then be white again
its stupid and its dangerous

 

[Bron357]

I too have fair skin and as a teen, worse, I had freckles. I hated my freckles enough to wear a hat and zinc cream and “cover up” , so untrendy, and long before the dangers of sun baking and the damage the sun does to your skin were fully understood.
Consequently those friends whose suntanned skin I once envied now have skin that is dried out and wrinkly like a prune. Mine is in much better shape.
And hair expectation/ hopes.
I had dead straight hair and persisted in foolishly getting horrendous perms to make it curly. It never looked curly, more like frizzed and frazzled (those chemicals were probably also carcinogenic). I failed to appreciate that many of those with luscious curly hair hated theirs and were just as busy trying to straight it and dreaded waking up in the morning and seeing what their hair was doing.

 

[missy]

My hair has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember.

It went from stick straight when I was little (and I got perms in my teenage years to prove it lol) to curly and frizzy in my twenties. Weird but true.

Add to that the fact that it is now thinning (and has been for the past 4-5 years) and yes, my hair has been a big challenge to accept. I have learned though to do just that and accept what it is because goodness knows nothing I am doing is helping it. So what choice do I have but to accept it for what it is? It has a mind of its own and it frizzes when it wants to and occasionally looks acceptable but for the most part no. I wear it back or in a ponytail to control it and I am OK with that. i am at peace finally. And while I am losing it and will probably eventually shave it (because once it reaches the point of showing scalp I am not doing a combover or anything like that) for now I am at peace.


And when the time comes to shave it all I will have to accept and be at peace with that too. In life there is much we cannot control and we have to realize what we can control and what we cannot control.

I am determined to age gracefully wrinkles and all and will not be that person fighting it the whole way. If that works for you though I support you 100%. Just as I support each person doing what they need to do to feel at peace. Life is hard. Life is full of challenges. I am not going to judge someone who does what they need to do to feel content and at peace with their life. And while I know appearance is superficial I also know it goes a long way in making someone feel good about themselves so in that way appearance isn't superficial and whatever they need to reach that goal is A OK with me.

Back of my hair in 2015.





Back of my hair now.




I know what is wrong but I cannot change it. My ferritin is in the low teens but my iron is normal. You need a ferritin of 70 at least to get hair to grow. I cannot supplement with iron because my iron is normal. It's due to a genetic mutation that has decided to express itself now. So I wait for the inevitable. :/


As for my skin it has always been ghastly pale. But I have always been good with that. Isn't it funny how different we feel about things?
There is so much variety in what I find beautiful and much contrast in it too. I love pale skin but I also love tan skin. I love all colors of skin. And hair. And I appreciate freckles and I also appreciate peaches and cream complexion and all that is in between.
I love curves but I also enjoy all shapes of people.

I find beauty in everyone who is beautiful on the inside. That always comes shining through once I get to know a person. And alternatively if I come to know a person who is unattractive on the inside no matter how "beautiful" others might find them appearance wise I can never unsee their inner ugliness and they will never be beautiful to me.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I’ve always been pale, so as a teen I tried those terrible tanning creams that you do yourself. Absolutely ridiculous and who knows what was in them. I looked less Baywatch and more Donald Trump.

My hair is also very fine, I have a lot of it but it is poker straight, so no full beautiful flowing mane for me.

 

[Rhd3]

Definitely my nails. It seems that everyone around me has such beautiful manicures and I just can’t be bothered. I keep them short and nicely rounded. I’ll apply polish on holidays (maybe lol).

 

[monarch64]

If you're tall and pretty you should also be VERY thin and you should model. NOPE.

 

[nala]

Wearing make-up… it just doesn’t make me look better!!! When I was younger I only wore lipstick. These days, I only wear foundation, blush and lipgloss when I go to a party and even then, it’s not noticeable so why bother.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Hair length. I have beautiful hair and while I can wear hair of any length (and have) short hair has always suited me best. I am the hair underdog!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Petalouda]

My hair has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember.

It went from stick straight when I was little (and I got perms in my teenage years to prove it lol) to curly and frizzy in my twenties. Weird but true.

Add to that the fact that it is now thinning (and has been for the past 4-5 years) and yes, my hair has been a big challenge to accept. I have learned though to do just that and accept what it is because goodness knows nothing I am doing is helping it. So what choice do I have but to accept it for what it is? It has a mind of its own and it frizzes when it wants to and occasionally looks acceptable but for the most part no. I wear it back or in a ponytail to control it and I am OK with that. i am at peace finally. And while I am losing it and will probably eventually shave it (because once it reaches the point of showing scalp I am not doing a combover or anything like that) for now I am at peace.


And when the time comes to shave it all I will have to accept and be at peace with that too. In life there is much we cannot control and we have to realize what we can control and what we cannot control.

I am determined to age gracefully wrinkles and all and will not be that person fighting it the whole way. If that works for you though I support you 100%. Just as I support each person doing what they need to do to feel at peace. Life is hard. Life is full of challenges. I am not going to judge someone who does what they need to do to feel content and at peace with their life. And while I know appearance is superficial I also know it goes a long way in making someone feel good about themselves so in that way appearance isn't superficial and whatever they need to reach that goal is A OK with me.

Back of my hair in 2015.





Back of my hair now.




I know what is wrong but I cannot change it. My ferritin is in the low teens but my iron is normal. You need a ferritin of 70 at least to get hair to grow. I cannot supplement with iron because my iron is normal. It's due to a genetic mutation that has decided to express itself now. So I wait for the inevitable. :/


As for my skin it has always been ghastly pale. But I have always been good with that. Isn't it funny how different we feel about things?
There is so much variety in what I find beautiful and much contrast in it too. I love pale skin but I also love tan skin. I love all colors of skin. And hair. And I appreciate freckles and I also appreciate peaches and cream complexion and all that is in between.
I love curves but I also enjoy all shapes of people.

I find beauty in everyone who is beautiful on the inside. That always comes shining through once I get to know a person. And alternatively if I come to know a person who is unattractive on the inside no matter how "beautiful" others might find them appearance wise I can never unsee their inner ugliness and they will never be beautiful to me.

As someone with Thalessemia minor, I get it regarding supplementation! Your hair still looks beautiful and full.

 

[Petalouda]

Being stick thin. I am not overweight but I am pear shape and have a butt and thighs ( think Beyoncé, J. Lo). Now it has become popular to look like this but during my high school years and early 20s, fashion trended towards Kate Moss type and it was SO hard to find jeans that would fit right during that time. Yay for stretchy jeans.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Asian beauty standards of looking frail and dainty. I have always been tall and athletic build. I also get muscular easily. Swimming a lot brings big shoulders, running gives me big calves, tennis gives me buff arms….

 

[lissyflo]

Asian beauty standards of looking frail and dainty. I have always been tall and athletic build. I also get muscular easily. Swimming a lot brings big shoulders, running gives me big calves, tennis gives me buff arms….

This is why beauty ideals are nonsense! I envy athletic physiques on other women. I think toned shoulders and buff arms look powerful, strong and capable, they give poise and make someone look healthy (to me anyway). You’re using your body well - value those shoulders!

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I am SO glad that ideas of what's attractive are becoming more diverse. In personal terms, what crazy standards of conventional beauty are you glad to see the back of? I am relieved to embrace my textured hair and pasty-white skin. Conventional standards have often dictated smooth silky hair and a deep tan. I became exhausted trying to attain these two things. I once ended up in the ER after my head swelled up when I tried to get a keratin straightening treatment. And I am never tanning again. I never got anywhere with it, anyway. My pale white skin that shows all my veins will just have to to do. It's the way I am. Last time I bared myself at a swimming pool, my friend's friend, who I had only just met, goes "God, you are so white!" LOL!

And the hair. Oh, the hair. What a hot mess. LOL! I don't care anymore.

Oh - I'm also glad to see the back of notions that tall is good. I am so uncomfortable in heels.

What standards of conventional beauty have you tried to embrace in the past and are glad to let go?

I also have very pale, very translucent skin. I tried to cover my “marbled” legs with self tanner and leg makeup in my 20s, but it was a PITA and stained/ruined more than one skirt. We just have to embrace being blue blooded girls!

And, man, hot mess curly hair — I wound up with half-a**ed dread locks in high school after skipping my daily detangling ritual for just a couple weeks. Likewise glad to see a broader diversity of hair textures represented in mainstream media. I think hair is always a “grass is greener” thing, though.

More than anything, I do wish flat derrières would come back into style...

 

[MMtwo]

Being tall and big. I'm going to drive half-way across the country soon to avoid an airplane ride with the horror show that can be in a large body.

 

[voce]

Tallness. I made bad mistakes in my youth so I went from a tall child to a short adult. Height, unlike weight, is something that I can no longer change. The term petite sounds cute and childlike, and I very much resent the notion that no great beauty can be shorter than average height, or if you're short then you also need to be stick thin.

 

[icy_jade]

Feet that can fit into such shoes without feeling like you are walking on broken glass…

 

[Slickk]

Mascara! Ugh! I cannot use it! After having a Sjogrens flare up years ago, I threw all of the eye makeup away. Only for special-special occasions will I wear it.
Fun reading the replies!!

 

[nala]

Feet that can fit into such shoes without feeling like you are walking on broken glass…

Omg YES!! I stopped doing this years ago!!

 

[chrono]

I never bothered with heels. Flats all the way everyday.

 

[Jambalaya]

I literally cannot remember the last time I wore heels. Must be years ago. It's very hard to wear them as an obese person. (Newsflash: I've lost ten pounds in the last six weeks!)

 

[Slickk]

I literally cannot remember the last time I wore heels. Must be years ago. It's very hard to wear them as an obese person. (Newsflash: I've lost ten pounds in the last six weeks!)

Same!!! No heels! Nope nope nope.
And congratulations on the ten pounds!!

 

[voce]

I literally cannot remember the last time I wore heels. Must be years ago. It's very hard to wear them as an obese person. (Newsflash: I've lost ten pounds in the last six weeks!)

Congrats! Keep going with your healthier lifestyle choices!

I still wear heels from time to time, but of course they are less and less comfortable the more I weigh.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Being thin. I'm in the very upper "normal"/healthy BMI category after 6kids, and was normal growing up.

But Kate Moss was the ideal when I was growing up and now I'm living in a country where thin = good , thinner = better.
plump /normal equals "let herself go" , "too dumb/ lazy to take care of herself".


Good that I don't give an eff about that nonsense .

And yes, it's truly that bad in France.
My SiL struggled with anorexia nervosa in her thirties.
Comments from my German friends after they'd met her at my wedding: " X is lovely, but is she OK?"
Comments from my French friends " OMG , X looks absolutely terrific, wonderful, how does she do it?"

 

[canuk-gal]

I literally cannot remember the last time I wore heels. Must be years ago. It's very hard to wear them as an obese person. (Newsflash: I've lost ten pounds in the last six weeks!)

Feet that can fit into such shoes without feeling like you are walking on broken glass…

There are heels that are comfy!!! Just not the brand you posted.....LOL