What to do instead of bouquet/garter toss?

[Jas12]

Hi guys

Another recent post made me think of this.
For some reason i just really dislike the bouquet and garter toss (no offense to those who are including it--to each there own!)
I guess i dislike it b/c i have been dating my FI for what will be 11 yrs in June and I have not considered myself ''single'' for some years now and have always known I would eventually get married when school was over etc.-i have continually been pushed to the dance floor for the toss and I hated the feeling like i was participating in some desperate act like "woe is me, if i catch this bouquet maybe i''ll be asked..." There is just something about it that has bugged me--even though I know it is just for FUN-- I still don''t want to do it at my wedding....SO anyways, now i am looking for something to include at my wedding other than a first dance. Is anyone planning something unique that they want to share....are there any good sites to check out for traditions? I was thinking of making something up, but i am at a loss....

Thanks everyone

 

[jcrow]

we didn''t have the bouquet toss or the garter toss either. we really don''t have any single friends, plus i find the tradition awkward. but that''s me, and yes, to each is own.

we didn''t have anything to replace those traditions, but i have heard of brides giving their toss bouquet to someone special instead.

we did our first dance, followed by the son/mom dance... but, as a surprise, i asked DH''s dad to dance during DH''s dance with his mom. after that dance we had the money dance and cut the cake & toasted.

 

[So_happy]

This forum is all about doing wedding-related things differently and perhaps this section of the forum will give you some ideas.........antiquated traditions

 

[Jaders731]

Hi Jas...

Not sure what to say about the garter toss.. as we did do that at the wedding!! We didnt have too many.. maybe only 7 or 8 guys... and I had a special Ohio State garter made for it!!

However, we opted NOT to do the bouquet toss, as there were really only a couple single girls at our wedding.. so what we did was an anniversary dance.

The DJ brought out all the married couples on the dance floor.. we played "through the years" by Kenny Rogers... and he just started calling out the amount of time married... of course hubby and I were the first to go...but what we did was give the "winners" my toss bouquet at the very end. It just so happened that hubby''s grandparents won.. married 61 years (WOW!!!) and his Grandma was near tears when I handed her my bouquet!! Then our DJ asked them to give us some advice on having a LONG and prosperous marriage.. .I loved it.. it was sooo special!!

Sorry I cant help out with the garter toss.. but I think what we did in lieu of the bouquet toss was sooo memorable.

Hope that helps!

 

[So_happy]

Jaders~ I really like this idea I may use it

 

[Independent Gal]

Jaders, that''s awesome.

 

[dtnyc]

I didn''t do it- also didn''t do the father/daughter - mother/son dances.
Instead I surprised my parents and his parents by having their first songs played and then they danced to them (and we danced as well.)

 

[Jas12]

so_happy--thanks, I am going to check out that forum (i never venture away from this one for some reason --it''s distraction enough

Jaders--love that! Actually, I think that is what I was looking for...I remember someone doing something similar at a wedding once but couldn''t think of how it was organized. I think FI will like that idea too...I also have a feeling my grandparents will win

jcrow and dtnyc--the surpise dance is a terrific idea as well!!!

thanks crew!

 

[ladyciel]

Jaders,

I had heard of that type of anniversary celebration bouquet-contest before, but I''m afraid of its impact on the multiple widows in our families. In particular, I''m worried about FFI''s grandmother who cries at almost every holiday/event because she misses her husband (it''s been several years since he passed away). I just know she''s likely to be delicately balanced on our wedding day. FFI is her golden grandchild and she seems to associate him quite a bit with his granddad. So, though I LOVE the idea of honoring those couples with long happy marriages, any ideas on how to not alienate those who would still be happily married if their loves were still with us?

 

[Jaders731]

Ladyciel..

Here is just a thought..

How about having the groomsmen offer to dance with the widows...(provided there are enough of them) so that way, they can still participate.

I know what you mean about the delicately balanced... my grandma on my step-dads side.. would have been married 52 years this year... I know that dance was difficult for her... but she was a trooper...

We did decide to honor Grandpa D in another way however... I found out what flowers he used to give my Grandma (yellow roses)...We made arrangements with our florist to have a long stem yellow rose tied with ribbon placed on an empty chair next to the chair my grandma sat in for the ceremony. It was not at all awkward for there to be an empty seat.. but so special for everyone to see.. and my Grandma's face lit up knowing that Grandpa D was right there next to her...

I hope that helps.. if you know the widows in your family would love to be a part of the anniversary dance.. i think it would be very special for members of the bridal party (the groomsmen) to ask them to dance... I dont think it would alienate anyone at all!

ETA: Come to think of it.. it wouldnt just be an Anniversary Dance, but a Memory Dance or Memorial/Tribute of some sort.. I think it would be very special.