What to do with an heirloom that never gets worn?

[MsP]

So I have quite a few rings that have been passed down to me and the simple fact is that I love to look at the beautiful antique styles, but I hate wearing them. They don''t match my style at all and they''re just way too delicate. So I''ve been toying with breaking this ring below down and doing some more simple modern with it. In one sense I want to preserve the ring as the stone is from way back in my family and then my great grandmother put it into the setting it is in now. So my question is... what do you do with your heirloom rings? It seems silly to just store them in their little boxes but it also doesn''t seem quite right to tear a beautiful thing apart just because it isn''t quite my style.

... I''m going to try to attach a picture of the ring I''m thinking of taking the center stone out of, but no promises.

 

[MsP]

Here's another. (are they showing?... I'm not sure if I did it correctly)

... despite the fact that the center doesn't look very large, it actually is about 1.3cts. The ring its self is pretty huge which I think makes the center look small... I believe it is a size 9.5.

 

[somethingshiny]

That is a stunning ring. I would be very hesitant on changing it. Your taste may change in the future, or you may have a daughter/grand-daughter, etc. who may really appreciate that beauty someday.

If you change it, it''ll never be an "heirloom ring" again. Just "an heirloom diamond."

 

[chrono]

That setting is very beautiful: I would keep the whole thing as is to be able to pass it down the family line. Maybe a daughter (or DIL) or granddaughter might like it.

 

[Sparkster]

It is a beautiful ring and it''s a shame that you don''t like wearing it. I understand why you would want to keep the setting but you mentioned that the stone was reset by your great grandmother. So, in a way, what you have received was not the ''original'' design. Your great grandmother turned it into something she loved and I am sure she would be delighted if you did the same thing.

But, if you feel that you can''t, remember, you can keep it way it is and one day pass on your children or nieces, etc.

 

[Nicrez]

Please dear God don''t hurt it. It''s very pretty! Would you consider selling it? I am sure people out there would love to own it... Don''t actively sell it, but you know post it on Craig''s List or something and see if anyone is interested.

Me personally, I would save it for another generation. Antiques are so beautiful for their settings and their whole presentation. Once it''s broken apart I get this horrible sensation like something that could never again be created is destroyed. You can always go to a store and get the same exact die cast stuff, but some of these things were HAND-MADE. Crafted. Like destroying a Picasso for the canvas.

Not everyone likes a Picasso, but you have to admit it''s an important work of art...

Consider preserving it for another generation and perpetuating it''s history...

(some people are all for animal rights and protection. Sometimes I feel like an Antique-rights activist!)

 

[Skippy123]

Yes, please leave it as is. It is gorgeous!

 

[TravelingGal]

It''s not my style either, but I would wear it with some serious pride. It''s beautiful!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

Give it to me!!

But in all reality...that ring is gorgeous!! Don''t change a thing....rings like that are very hard to find. Many people (including me) would love to own a ring like that some day.

 

[Kaleigh]

Oooh it''s a lovely ring, don''t touch it. Leave it be!!

 

[Sabine]

My first reaction was to it is simply too gorgeous to change...I agree that you could let it live on as an heirloom!

 

[movie zombie]

originally i was going to say that the ring is not my style but to keep it the way it is. having looked at it again, i say i''d wear it periodically and definitely keep it the way it is for someone to appreciate later. this ring has character and it almost sings to me....i think i want it!

movie zombie

 

[iheartscience]

I would also wear the ring occasionally and keep it in tact. It''s a gorgeous and special piece and should be kept the way it is, in my opinion. You could also see if another family member would appreciate it more and give it to her.

 

[Pandora II]

I am going to be the voice of dissent here - and this comes from the girl who goes nuts over people putting new plastic windows in old houses, let alone touching the brickwork!

I would have the centre stone VERY,VERY carefully unset, and then put a coloured stone into that setting - maybe a spinel or nice sapphire.

That centre diamond is gorgeous - then... two heirlooms.

Now I will run away before you all curse my philistine thoughts...

 

[Odilia]

Date: 11/15/2007 4:54:46 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~
Give it to me!!

I thought of this when I first checked the topic of your thread (you know how you can read a bit before clicking on it) and was looking to see if someone beat me to it!

However, after clicking on the thread, I totally agree with everyone else. Don''t take it apart. Wear it on occasion, and/or save it or give it now to a relative who would appreciate it. All the other ideas people had, but please don''t "hurt" it as someone said! It is gorgeous and so special.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Just hang on to it and keep it for the next generation. Even though you own the piece doesn't mean you *have to* wear it or change it around. . .someone later on down-the-line may really appreciate having an original family heirloom!!!

 

[LadyAmythyst69]

Save it!! If you take out the diamond you will probably ruin the setting - not to mention destroying it''s history etc.. Save it for a future generation. It''s a family heirloom & very pretty too.

 

[Miranda]

Simple. Put it on your finger and wear it!

 

[gailrmv]

I inherited a ring in a vintage setting. The setting was not really my style (I didn't like vintage much back then - I'm liking it more now). It was also way too big and could not be sized down without going oval shaped. It was very worn out, and had been repaired badly in the past. I took out the diamond and had it set with sapphire sides in an inexpensive but OK Stuller setting. I really like how it looks now, but I regret a little bit tearing apart the heirloom ring. I think eventually I want to have the diamond set into a vintage (or vintage style) setting, hopefully using the sapphires as sides still. If I was doing it over, I would consult an expert about fixing the original setting before tearing it apart. So, I have been in your situation and have mixed feelings.

If the setting had been as lovely as the one you posted, I would have kept it as-is, I'm pretty sure.

ETA One problem I know I will run into is that a good setting will cost more than my diamond appraised for - another reason I sort of wish I had not messed with the original!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh how I wish someone in my family would leave me a ring like that! I''m with those who said, please don''t alter that beautiful ring! (except I would size it down as much as is possible so I could wear it)

 

[risingsun]

Are you able to wear a 9.5 size ring? Could you show us some hand shots?

 

[kcoursolle]

WEAR IT already!!!

 

[MsP]

Thanks for all the responses... although I greatly appreciate all the compliments I was really looking forward to reading how others have dealt with ''family jewels''.


I wear a small 8 or a 7.5 so it''s within a reasonable size to resize to. I have worn it on my middle finger on occasion(and it''s snug enough to stay on... although I watch it carefully) and I don''t really see the point in resizing when I don''t really intend to wear it.


I had inquired with regional jeweler who deals with lots of antique jewelry and he said he wasn''t too confident that he could take the centerstone out without damaging setting. He said that for a different stone to be set into it, the prongs would likely need an overhaul. I really love the centerstone for it''s chunky brilliance but the setting just isn''t my taste.


I understand all the sentiments about preserving it for future generations but I have three other great family rings that I intend to keep intact. I''m really divided... because I love the stone and want to wear the stone... just not in the current setting.



... I''ll see about handshots later.

 

[Efe]

Although I think the ring is lovely, if it isn''t your taste, you should have it reset. Personally, the jewelry that is special to me and that I will eventually leave to family, I would rather have redone and worn as opposed to sitting in a drawer or safety deposit box. It was left to you so you should do what you want with it.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I am sorry to hear that the setting might be damaged should the center stone be removed. Is it worth getting a second opinion?

cheers--Sharon

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/16/2007 9:12:01 AM
Author: MissPrudential
Thanks for all the responses... although I greatly appreciate all the compliments I was really looking forward to reading how others have dealt with ''family jewels''.


I wear a small 8 or a 7.5 so it''s within a reasonable size to resize to. I have worn it on my middle finger on occasion(and it''s snug enough to stay on... although I watch it carefully) and I don''t really see the point in resizing when I don''t really intend to wear it.


I had inquired with regional jeweler who deals with lots of antique jewelry and he said he wasn''t too confident that he could take the centerstone out without damaging setting. He said that for a different stone to be set into it, the prongs would likely need an overhaul. I really love the centerstone for it''s chunky brilliance but the setting just isn''t my taste.


I understand all the sentiments about preserving it for future generations but I have three other great family rings that I intend to keep intact. I''m really divided... because I love the stone and want to wear the stone... just not in the current setting.



... I''ll see about handshots later.

I had every intention of staying out of this thread, because I''ve been here and done this. (I was going to stay out of this, because I had no intention of ever talking about my ring here again. But I felt bad for you, as I knew where you were coming from, and you weren''t getting any answers to your real question) And I got the same overwhelming response. Leave it alone. Only, that''s not what I asked in here, and what you asked hasn''t actually been answered either. So I will answer the intial question of, What do you do with your heirloom rings?


Funny, I just realized it''s been a year almost to the day since I made that thread. Since then, I had done nothing, just like the other 30 years since I''d received it. It sat in my jewelry box (yes, I think it''s silly too) and I would look at it occasionally. I really tried to embrace the size, and the huge window that made it very unattractive on my finger. It wasn''t working, but I did nothing.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine died of cervical cancer. She was just 46 years old, my age. I was devastated, and angry. She shouldn''t have gone, she had so much life ahead of her. A couple weeks later, while still thinking about her, it struck me (again, as a younger persons death always does) just how short life really is. I thought to myself, if I don''t do something now with that ring, so that I can enjoy it, I will be laying on my deathbed before I know it. And I will have never had the pleasure of wearing something with such dear memories. I will never have known what pleasure I may have gotten out of that ring.

So I contacted Richard Homer, and sent the ring off to him. I told him to do whatever was best for the stone, to bring out as much beauty as it had potential for. After he received it, we discussed options, and he recut it into a square step emerald. I got it back a week ago. And I was floored. It''s absolutely beautiful, and flashy, and fiery (which I never dreamed a gemstone could be to this extent).

Am I sorry? Not in the least. I''m only sorry that I waited so long, and that it''s taking me so long to figure out what setting to put it into. Do I feel like it''s not an heirloom anymore? No. It''s still an heirloom stone, and when I pick a setting, I''m either going to have my grandmothers and my name engraved in the band, or incorporate our first initials somewhere in the design, if it lends itself to that. Then it will be "our" ring, and a joint heirloom to be handed down to someone eventually.

So, I say, (after careful consideration) do what you need to do to make it wearable for you. It''s your ring, you should be enjoying it now. Life''s too short.

 

[surfgirl]

I would only consider removing the center stone IF it can be removed without damaging the setting because that setting is gorgeous! I took my grandmother''s center stone out of her ering but it was set in a high cathedral mount with a bag on each side. I kept the setting to possibly hand to my cousin if she ever marries as she was close to my grandmother too. But...if it had come in that setting you have I would never have removed it. But then again, I love antique jewelry. I''d only remove the stone if you can find someone to do it while still keeping the ring intact. Perhaps Pete at Quest could do it. Ellen, what do you think?

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/16/2007 12:38:32 PM
Author: surfgirl
I would only consider removing the center stone IF it can be removed without damaging the setting because that setting is gorgeous! I took my grandmother''s center stone out of her ering but it was set in a high cathedral mount with a bag on each side. I kept the setting to possibly hand to my cousin if she ever marries as she was close to my grandmother too. But...if it had come in that setting you have I would never have removed it. But then again, I love antique jewelry. I''d only remove the stone if you can find someone to do it while still keeping the ring intact. Perhaps Pete at Quest could do it. Ellen, what do you think?

I think he''s a fine candidate for asking. He''ll be honest about what he can and can''t do.

To me, from these pics, it looks very similar to my OMC ring, in that it''s (the diamond) set in that "metal frame", for lack of a better term, and just held with prongs. There could be more to it, but that''s all I can see from these shots. IF that''s the case, and the stone will come out once the prong tips are removed, I''d venture to "guess" he could easily do it, since he took those metal blobs off the same kind of area on my ring.

I''d definitely send him some pics and ask him.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 11/16/2007 11:50:40 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 11/16/2007 9:12:01 AM
Author: MissPrudential
Thanks for all the responses... although I greatly appreciate all the compliments I was really looking forward to reading how others have dealt with ''family jewels''.


I wear a small 8 or a 7.5 so it''s within a reasonable size to resize to. I have worn it on my middle finger on occasion(and it''s snug enough to stay on... although I watch it carefully) and I don''t really see the point in resizing when I don''t really intend to wear it.


I had inquired with regional jeweler who deals with lots of antique jewelry and he said he wasn''t too confident that he could take the centerstone out without damaging setting. He said that for a different stone to be set into it, the prongs would likely need an overhaul. I really love the centerstone for it''s chunky brilliance but the setting just isn''t my taste.


I understand all the sentiments about preserving it for future generations but I have three other great family rings that I intend to keep intact. I''m really divided... because I love the stone and want to wear the stone... just not in the current setting.



... I''ll see about handshots later.

I had every intention of staying out of this thread, because I''ve been here and done this. (I was going to stay out of this, because I had no intention of ever talking about my ring here again. But I felt bad for you, as I knew where you were coming from, and you weren''t getting any answers to your real question) And I got the same overwhelming response. Leave it alone. Only, that''s not what I asked in here, and what you asked hasn''t actually been answered either. So I will answer the intial question of, What do you do with your heirloom rings?


Funny, I just realized it''s been a year almost to the day since I made that thread. Since then, I had done nothing, just like the other 30 years since I''d received it. It sat in my jewelry box (yes, I think it''s silly too) and I would look at it occasionally. I really tried to embrace the size, and the huge window that made it very unattractive on my finger. It wasn''t working, but I did nothing.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine died of cervical cancer. She was just 46 years old, my age. I was devastated, and angry. She shouldn''t have gone, she had so much life ahead of her. A couple weeks later, while still thinking about her, it struck me (again, as a younger persons death always does) just how short life really is. I thought to myself, if I don''t do something now with that ring, so that I can enjoy it, I will be laying on my deathbed before I know it. And I will have never had the pleasure of wearing something with such dear memories. I will never have known what pleasure I may have gotten out of that ring.

So I contacted Richard Homer, and sent the ring off to him. I told him to do whatever was best for the stone, to bring out as much beauty as it had potential for. After he received it, we discussed options, and he recut it into a square step emerald. I got it back a week ago. And I was floored. It''s absolutely beautiful, and flashy, and fiery (which I never dreamed a gemstone could be to this extent).

Am I sorry? Not in the least. I''m only sorry that I waited so long, and that it''s taking me so long to figure out what setting to put it into. Do I feel like it''s not an heirloom anymore? No. It''s still an heirloom stone, and when I pick a setting, I''m either going to have my grandmothers and my name engraved in the band, or incorporate our first initials somewhere in the design, if it lends itself to that. Then it will be ''our'' ring, and a joint heirloom to be handed down to someone eventually.

So, I say, (after careful consideration) do what you need to do to make it wearable for you. It''s your ring, you should be enjoying it now. Life''s too short.

ellen, 30 years ago i bet you didn''t even know about richard homer. in my world view there is a reason for everything. you held the stone until such a time as you were motivated. unfortunately, it took the death of a friend to motivate you but in the 30 years between i''m betting you''ve learned a lot about jewelry, stones, and found richard homer. you may not have loved the results had you acted sooner. your story reinforces for me the following thought: all things in their own time and in their own way.

i''m sorry about the loss of your friend.

movie zombie

ps

Miss p, the pricescoper who suggested a color stone replacement for the center stone and thus ending up with two heirlooms is an interesting concept....if it can be done w/o damaging the setting but if not, i''d let it be. imo, just because i inherit something doesn''t mean i have the right to change it. i know this differs with others view points and i respect that view point but i just don''t agree with it. i''m not much for tradition oddly enough but the way i look at it is that someone loved the way that ring was and gave it to me to appreciate as is. if they wanted me to have it to change to something more my taste, they''d have given it to me sooner and told me to do so. i don''t know about the rest of you pricescopers but as i''ve aged my taste in jewelry....as well as many other things.....has definitely changed. perhaps sitting on this project for a year or two or three will clarify things for you. however, the more i look at that ring, the more i think i would wear it despite my minimalist, modern, and streamline taste in jewelry. the original posted subject line question as to what to do with an heirloom that never gets worn was answered: most suggested learning to appreciate it and wear it or leave it alone and pass it on to someone who appreciates it as is. it appears that what you were really looking for i think was support for a decision to alter the ring and ideas about how to do that. i find it difficult to give suggestions on how to do something i would hate to see happen. so my compromise is support for changing the center stone to color but only if it doesn''t damage the setting. it is, of course, your ring and heirloom and so it is your decision as to how to proceed. good luck!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Oh wow, that ring is gorgeous! If it were me, I would leave it as is and wear it! But this is your decision to make, good luck!