What traditions are you forgoing (and/or including) at your wedding?

[princessplease]

Or the opposite question, what traditions are you including?

We''re not doing the rice throwing or the unity candle. I also don''t think we''ll have a receiving line. We''re gonna do everything else (bouquet tossing; garter; something old, new borrowed, blue, etc).

I''m curious as to what other BIW will do that''s traditional, and/or what they''re excluding. If you or FI are from another culture, what are the cultural traditions of the bride and groom at the marriage ceremony? Will you be including them at the ceremony?

 

[cocolaw]

not throwing anything, not being announced, no receiving line, no lighting of candles, not being married by a judge or priest, not having a garter, not throwing a bouquet, not having a first dance...i think there is even more!

 

[Blair138]

not throwing anything, minimal church decorations (my church doesn''t allow either)

 

[ladypirate]

We''re thinking of having people ring bells rather than throwing stuff. We don''t want to do a unity candle, but I think we will include a wine ceremony. No on a receiving line--way too formal. Also, no cake smashing or garter/bouquet tossing! Things I do want to include are the first dance, the father/daughter & mother/son dances and keeping the something old, new, borrowed, blue.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

No throwing anything (rice, petals etc), no first dances, no receiving lines, no showers, no maid of honor (just 2 bridesmaids), etc.

Twists on tradition:
I''m face-painting my flower girls (they like butterfly masks), my ring pillow is a stuffed panda toy, I''m cutting my cake with a Japanese short sword, we''re having karaoke.

Chinese tradition: I''m changing into a different reception dress, I"m wearing a chinese style wedding gown.

 

[mrscushion]

We''re not doing any throwing (rice or bouquet), anything related to garters or cake-feeding or any special dances. No showers, no receiving line, and no religious elements, either.

 

[mayachel]

no throwing off the bouquet or garter.
A friend will officiate-self designed ceremony.
Fan of not being "given away"...we'll see how that plays out.

So far, I'm not planning on taking DF's last name.

I thought we were all "unconventional" but there is something about the wedding industry that just sucks us all in...

 

[jstarfireb]

For my wedding on 5/10/09...

Nontraditional aspects:
-self-written, completely secular ceremony
-friend served as officiant
-unique ceremony music (hammered dulcimer)
-outdoor ceremony, non-church venue
-no throwing rice/petals
-no receiving line
-didn't have "something old, something new..."
-no unity candle/sand ceremony/etc.
-no cake smashing! (but FI insisted on feeding each other cake)
-had sweetheart table and seated bridal party with their friends/dates (no head table)
-both parents walked me down the aisle
-hyphenating my last name
-had a honeymoon registry as our primary gift registry
-groomsmen wore their own black suits instead of renting matching tuxes (their matching ties were their gift from FI)

Traditional aspects:
-venue was very typical (converted farmhouse)
-typical ceremony and reception structure...toasts, dances, etc.
-long white wedding dress
-bouquet and garter toss (I think they're fun!)
-formal dances (I soooo didn't want to do these, but everyone else insisted; we didn't do a bridal party dance though)

The husband is Chinese-American, and we are planning to have a Chinese reception in Chinatown NYC about a year after our wedding (we were unable to fit wedding, honeymoon, and Chinese thingie all in 2 weeks).

 

[KimberlyH]

No bridal party
No veil
No DJ
No announcing couple
No wedding cake
No tux
I mingled with the guests before the wedding

We had a cocktaoil hour followed by a formal sit down dinner that lasted about 3 1/2 hours.
We had a muscian who played the entire evening.
We had a toast.
My dad walked me down the aisle.
We said traditional vows.
I carried a boquet.
My dad walked me down the aisle.

 

[honey22]

No throwing of my flowers, garter (I don''t plan on wearing one). Other little things that seem corny to me, or more fitting for a big wedding (we are having a small DW)

 

[SeattleSweetheart]

Not including:
-throwing of rice, petals, etc.
-bouquet or garter toss
-scheduled dances
-flower girl/ring boy
-not seeing each other before the ceremony
-veil for me
-bridesmaids or groomsman

Including:
-handfasting (literally tying the knot)
-cake cutting/feeding (but no smashing)
-receiving line
-something borrowed/blue etc.
-double ring exchange
-a man of honor for me
-a best woman for him

 

[April20]

I got married in ''07, but I find what people did and did not do fascinating and thought I''d share what we did/didn''t do as well.

1. No bridal party
2. No walking down the aisle. We had no aisle. So I had no bouqet. They made me one for pictures, but it fell apart, so I grabbed the flowers from a center piece and used it for the photos.
3. No DJ. I didn''t know if we''d had music of any kind until the day of when a friend figured out how to make it work. I popped in three CDs and hit the "repeat" button and that was it. I''m not 100% sure what they were.
4. No first dance/father-daughter dance or any dancing at all. We just weren''t that into it.
5. No throwing/tossing of anything
6. Wasn''t "given away"
7. No garter or viel
8. No announcing of couple or receiving line
9. We kind of started the reception first. Doors opened at 6, wine/beer/water was immediately available. Food was available by 630. At 7, we gathered everyone around and got married.
10. Saw each other all day the day of the wedding before the ceremony.

1. We did have a very traditional ceremony, though I had them make it quick (~15 mins tops) as everyone was standing.
2. I had a traditional dress
3. Traditional venue- gets used for lots and lots of weddings. It''s on the National Register of Historic Places and is within walking distance of our house. It was really cool to get married that close to home.
4. We did exchange rings
5. We did a cake cutting, but I can''t remember if we fed each other.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 6/22/2009 7:49:43 PM
Author: cocolaw
not throwing anything, not being announced, no receiving line, no lighting of candles, not being married by a judge or priest, not having a garter, not throwing a bouquet, not having a first dance...i think there is even more!

This was pretty much our wedding on Saturday except the judge/priest part. We did have a full Catholic wedding mass. We did cut a cake though which was actually really fun. I also had something old (necklace), new (dress), borrowed (earrings), and blue (bridesmaids and sapphire ring).

 

[katamari]

Inclusions:
White dress
The 4 "somethings"
Lots of the "stuff" that is expected at the reception (cake, favors, booze, etc.)
FI and I may have a first dance, but that is still TBD
Lots of dancing, hopefully

Exclusions/Changes:
Mainly that we are having our ceremony two weeks before our reception
Honeymoon is before the wedding
DW in South America in the mountains, rather than somewhere tropical and beachy
All other dances (but not dancing)
No flowers at the reception (all decorations will be non-floral and paper)
No garter toss/bouquet toss
No bridal party at all
No DJ
No one throwing anything at us (though this is the only part I am sad about)
And, from reading a lot of PS posts, I think I am different in that I hope our guests drink heavily (in a fun way, of course)

 

[Patchee]

Most everything besides my white dress will be non traditional!

No garter, no ring pillow, no thowing of anything, no toast, no dance, 1 MOH - no brides maids~!

 

[NuggetBrain]

Non Traditional:
No unity candle
No receiving line
Outdoor park ceremony
Mostly secular ceremony (no readings from the Bible, will be using a judge/justice of the peace)
No throwing rice/petals
Mom walking me down the aisle
Photo booth
Some of our pictures (having some pics done that are quite goofy)
Cupcakes instead of wedding cake (which is dad is tweaked out about for some reason)

Traditional:
White dress
Reception (cocktail hour, seated dinner, dancing and drinking)
Limo to pictures, reception
BM & MOH toasts


Still working on it:
I really don't want to do cake smashing in the face but he really does.
Since my grandpa passed and I'm not close to my dad I don't want to do special dances (except the first dance and last dance) but he really wants to be able to dance with his mom. Trying to figure out how we're going to do that without it looking wierd that I'm not dancing with anybody afterwards.
I want to skip the garter and bouquet toss since almost all of the people coming are married or in long term relationships (there would literally be like, 3 or 4 people on the floor for them). He, of course, loves the idea of having his head up my dress.

 

[lulu66]

nuggetbrain--just a thought about your dance predicament: what if fiance danced w/mom, the music fades slowly as he returns her to her seat, then he walks over to "ask" you to dance & your music fades up? kind of to symbolize how his mom was the woman in his life & now you are
just an idea! maybe it will work for you!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 6/22/2009 10:04:43 PM
Author: KimberlyH
No bridal party
No veil
No DJ
No announcing couple
No wedding cake
No tux
I mingled with the guests before the wedding

We had a cocktaoil hour followed by a formal sit down dinner that lasted about 3 1/2 hours.
We had a muscian who played the entire evening.
We had a toast.
My dad walked me down the aisle.
We said traditional vows.
I carried a boquet.
My dad walked me down the aisle.

Kimberly did mingling with your guests before the ceremony work? Did anyone think it was strange? I''m just curious because if our suprise wedding gets busted (which is highly likely because far too many people know already) i still want to have the same format that we have planned, it just wouldn''t be a suprise anymore, which means that we would both be out there with our guests before we have the ceremony (about 1- 1 1/2 hours in). I am really interested to hear how you worked it!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 6/23/2009 2:03:55 PM
Author: April20
I got married in ''07, but I find what people did and did not do fascinating and thought I''d share what we did/didn''t do as well.

1. No bridal party
2. No walking down the aisle. We had no aisle. So I had no bouqet. They made me one for pictures, but it fell apart, so I grabbed the flowers from a center piece and used it for the photos.
3. No DJ. I didn''t know if we''d had music of any kind until the day of when a friend figured out how to make it work. I popped in three CDs and hit the ''repeat'' button and that was it. I''m not 100% sure what they were.
4. No first dance/father-daughter dance or any dancing at all. We just weren''t that into it.
5. No throwing/tossing of anything
6. Wasn''t ''given away''
7. No garter or viel
8. No announcing of couple or receiving line
9. We kind of started the reception first. Doors opened at 6, wine/beer/water was immediately available. Food was available by 630. At 7, we gathered everyone around and got married.
10. Saw each other all day the day of the wedding before the ceremony.

1. We did have a very traditional ceremony, though I had them make it quick (~15 mins tops) as everyone was standing.
2. I had a traditional dress
3. Traditional venue- gets used for lots and lots of weddings. It''s on the National Register of Historic Places and is within walking distance of our house. It was really cool to get married that close to home.
4. We did exchange rings
5. We did a cake cutting, but I can''t remember if we fed each other.

I absoutely love this idea! (kind of what i''m doing) i''m just glad that i am not the only person who likes things done a little different.