What would you do if... it were fugly crud??

[fleur-de-lis]

With the holiday season upon us, I thought I''d ask a question of the hardcore Pricescopers among us.

Let''s say you are married, without children. You and your husband have a comfortable lifestyle, money in the bank, great jobs and a great investment portfolio-- so money isn''t an issue. Your husband knows you are a PS addict who''s obsessed with well-cut diamonds. [You know the type: whenever he puts on ESPN, you pull over the laptop and log on to PS; when one of his coworkers who was planning to ask his girlfriend to marry him and learned that you were a diamond expert, he came to the home and the two of you picked out an ideal-cut AGS stone after perusing together for hours as you tutored him while your husband looked bored in the corner; and yes, you''ve dragged him into Zales and Kay at the local mall then couldn''t stop talking about the poor quality of the pieces, the importance of cut quality, and feeling sorry for the rubes who pay for those awful diamonds, while your husband listens politely (yet his eyes are glazing over)].

Anyhow, Christmas comes and you''ve dropped hints that you''ve been dreaming of one of those well-cut fabulous 1-1/2 carat bangles wth ACA stones from Whiteflash (like http://www.whiteflash.com/Fine-jewelry/Bracelets/Shared-Prong-Bangle_958.htm ), or one of Signed Pieces well-made tennis bracelets (http://www.thefacetscollection.com/item.cfm?item_id=2292 ).



Christmas morning comes, and underneath the tree is a bracelet of... I-J color, I1-I2 clarity, poorly cut or even single-cut diamonds. He paid a similar price, just got an AWFUL deal on an ugly bracelet with frozen-spit stones. From Zales. Or Macys. Or JCPenney. (I''ll post some links.)




So the question is... what would you do? (Remember, it''s not the first piece of jewelry your college boyfriend on scholarship scrimped to give you, but your financially-successful husband of several years. Money was not an issue. He KNOWS you know and love excellent diamonds, but he''s either clueless, thoughtless, or indifferent to your passions.)

1. Return it and get your money back. Buy what you wanted.

2. Say nothing, be appreciative that he bought you diamonds, and keep it even though it''s fugly and you doubt you''re going to wear it much. Christmas is too commercial anyway and it''s the thought that counts.

3. Keep it, but only to use as an exhibit in the divorce proceedings

! Well that, or you''re setting up an appointment with a marriage counselor. After all, it IS the thought that counts... and apparently you''ve married someone who is too indifferent or narcissistic to pay attention to what truly makes you happy if he KNOWS you love PS and cut quality and made no effort to find it for you.

4. Something else?

 

[JohnQuixote]

Hmm.

Maybe link him to this thread?

(before Christmas if possible).

 

[fleur-de-lis]

From Zales, similar weight, similar price, and guaranteed to be at least a clarity of I1-I2!:
http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2960271&cp=2071132.2109140&pg=2&cp=2071132&fbn=StorePrice%7CMore+than+%241500.01&fbc=1&categoryId=2109140&kpc=1&fr=StorePrice%2FZALES%2F00150001%2F9999999900&parentPage=search&searchId=21268745273

Macy''s can give you more carat weight, but who says diamonds need to have more than one plane cut or any certification of measurable quality?:
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=152093&CategoryID=549&LinkType=EverGreen

 

[chrono]

Most likely #2. Hubby knows better than to buy me jewellery without me there. My mom did this so I just sucked it up, said the usual "thank you for being thoughtful" and have never worn it to this day. I keep it only for sentimental reasons.

 

[lumpkin]

I''d find a way to return it with as much tact as possible.

My husband doesn''t buy me jewelry much anymore because I''m too picky and fine jewelry is just too expensive to get wrong. Even if money is really not an issue, I don''t like to see it wasted on poor quality jewelry I''m not going to wear.

Good luck and hopefully your worst fears will NOT come to pass this Christmas.

 

[Mara]

#1 definitely. First off he knows better than to buy me anything at some random store, I'm such a diamond and jewelry snob now. But if he DID somehow go insane one afternoon and buy me something at some dept store or something, I would ask him what happened and why he didn't go through our regular channels (which he is more than familiar with). Then I'd be like soo where's the receipt?

Faking it with #2 doesn't work for me, because I just flat out would never wear it even if I said I liked it, and then he'd notice and the cat would be out of the bag anyway. I would def be honest but would try to be nice about it.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

FH already knows how I am about stuff like this, he would ask me "do you like it"? At that point I''d say, "oh babe, you''re so sweet...but" then he''d hand me the receipt and say "cool babe, get what you really want".... hehe

His feelings would be more hurt if I waited til later or heaven forbid, never wore the item.

 

[peridot83]

This has actually happened to me on a smaller scale for my birthday dinner with my BF. I'm obsessed with food and check websites/blogs etc. constantly; he not so much, though he does enjoy going to the restaunts I pick.

For my birthday, I explained the search engines/websites I liked for picking out restaurants (yelp, chowhound). I e-mailed him a list of restaurants I'd like to try.

The day of my birthday comes...and we end up at some random restaurant he took his mother to on a pinch on mother's day. That has mediocre to bad reviews on both yelp & chowhound. I was puzzled. Dinner was wonderful because it was sentimental, he was very thoughtful besides the actual pick of restaurant etc. but in terms of food worth about 1/2 the price we paid, service was bad, etc.

Why this happened. I have no idea. The only explanation I can give, is he thought I'd want a surprise, even though I sent him a list! And he was too frustrated/irritated with the research, felt too much pressure, and said F it! i'm just going with what I know.

Now with the birthday dinner, the sentiment won over the restaurant, and it's still one of my best memories. I, however, would not feel the same way about a physical object that i'd have to wear for a long time!

So I'd go with option 1, as long as your husband wouldn't be offended.

He probably thought he HAD to surprise you, couldn't remember which website you had mentioned, got frustrated with the research, and said F it! I'm going to Zales. She can return it and get what she wants if she doesn't like it.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Luckily my husband is at least as picky as me so I am not at risk for this scenario.

However, if it were to happen with my husband I''d probably pick option 1 [assuming the gift was also a bangle - this probably would not work if it were an eternity bracelet!]. If he were so clueless as to buy what you described he probably would not he discerning enough to notice that I got the money back and bought sonething similar but acceptable! LOL!

I must add that if such a gift was received my a grandparent, parent or a child I would absolutely keep it for the sentimental value.

 

[Gypsy]

Hmmmm.

WELL. I''d talk to him about the gift. I''d tell him you appreciate the sentiment, but that you are a little perplexed but the gift since you know he''s been exposed to your well cut diamond obsession, but still chose to go with the item he did.

I''d hear him out. If he''s really self absorbed and oblivious, I would suggest counseling , because as you know it''s not about the diamond quality. It''s about your relationship at that point.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 12/19/2007 5:03:10 PM
Author: lumpkin
I''d find a way to return it with as much tact as possible.

My husband doesn''t buy me jewelry much anymore because I''m too picky and fine jewelry is just too expensive to get wrong. Even if money is really not an issue, I don''t like to see it wasted on poor quality jewelry I''m not going to wear.

Good luck and hopefully your worst fears will NOT come to pass this Christmas.

LOL! Thanks, Lumpkin, but this is more of a hypothetical question.

(I *did* have a dream last night that something like this happened--though I''d have to look on ebay for something as hideous as my sleeping mind was able to come up with, hee hee-- and since "Dream Me"''s mind was racing as how to handle it, I thought it''d be an interesting question to ask here!)

 

[goldenstar]

I would appreciate the thought behind gift. Its sweet that he tried (at least with my FI it would be). I think a lot of people just don''t know any better.

Later I would find a way to gently and tactfully suggest that we return it. Not because I only want what I want, but because I don''t want to spend money on something that I''d never wear. I would appeal to his sense of frugality and say that I feel guilty that he spent so much money on something that can be purchased for much less. Everyone hates to waste money so he would agree. Then I would show him the more well made bracelets.

The most important thing is that I wouldn''t hurt his feelings. If I felt that he would be hurt by my returning the gift, I''d just keep it. If money is not an issue, I''d rather have harmony than bring it up and make it a source of contention. But I''d also make sure to drop hints or do something so he knows what to look for and buy in the future. Also, I''d buy myself the bracelet if I could afford it.

 

[Steel]

4. Other

I would be really sad.

 

[HollyS]

Well let''s see. . .

I''d have to kill him. He''s been well educated on diamonds. He knows better than to ever darken the door of a mall jewelry store for major bling. It would be a mercy killing.

 

[Mara]

Date: 12/19/2007 6:08:39 PM
Author: HollyS
Well let''s see. . .

I''d have to kill him. He''s been well educated on diamonds. He knows better than to ever darken the door of a mall jewelry store for major bling. It would be a mercy killing.

LOL Holly I hear ya!

 

[Catmom]

LOL, my hubby knows better so I don't think I would ever be in that position. He's been moaning through all these stupid jewelry commercials on TV about how he's obviously done something wrong somewhere down the road and it would be so much easier if he could just go shell out $99 at Kays or Zales.

 

[iheartscience]

I would tell him and return it. I think you should be able to tell your own husband you don''t like/won''t wear what he got you for Christmas/birthday/whatever. Especially if he completely disregarded your preferences/requests!

I''m the type who is very, very open and honest with pretty much everyone, but especially my fiance. He probably wishes I would lie to him every now and then!

Now, if it were an inexpensive item, I''d probably just suck it up and just keep it-I''ve done this in the past with my fiance. But a crappy J.C. Penney diamond tennis bracelet or bangle? That sucker would be returned the day after Christmas!

 

[Miranda]

#3!!!!! LOL!

That kind of thing makes me furious! I HATE it when DH doesn''t listen to me!

In all reality I would return it and buy what I wanted...With a long lecture about how diamonds should sparkle!

 

[Matata]

keep it, never wear it, buy the one I wanted.