What would you do?

[sjz]

I am in kind of a jam. A couple of days ago, while parked in the parking lot at my kids' school, my van was hit. The person who happened to hit me was my cousin. We aren't really that close, but we see each other often because our kids go to the same school. Anyway, at first I didn't think that there was much damage to my van (rear bumper scraped up a bit was all I saw at the time). Since we knew each other (being related and all) we decided not to call the police or anything and just exchange insurance info. etc. She was sort of blocking the exit to the parking lot, so we decided to take care of business later on the phone. So she left. Then, as I got into my car and started to leave the lot, I noticed a big crack starting to form on my windshield! Within a couple of minutes, the crack had run all the way from the middle of the top just above where the rear view mirror is attatched all the way to the bottom corner on the drivers side. When I got home, I got out to look more closely at the crack on the winshield, and then I noticed something worse...little hairline cracks all over the body of my van! I waited for my cousin to call, but apparently she called when I was not at home and didn't leave a message. First thing the next morning, my hubby decided that we should call our insurance agent and fill her in on what happened. So we did. She said that she would just send a letter to my cousin asking her to provide insurance info and for me not to worry about it.

Yesterday, I got a copy of the letter sent to my cousin forwarded on to me. It was very polite, brief, and to the point. Last night, her hubby calls me. He seemed upset that I had notified my insurance co. He said that he wanted to keep the insurance out of it and just pay for the damage to my van. His wife had told him that I just had a scraped bumper, and that she had barely hit me (not exactly true...she whacked me pretty good). My mom and my kids were in the car with me when it happened, so they know that the van took quite a jolt. Anyway, I told him that there was more damage than just the scraped up bumper. I described the damage to the windshield and the cracks on the body. I should add that this van is less than a year old, I just got it last summer, it's a 2005 Chyrsler Town & Country. Just from the way he talked, I could tell that he didn't believe me. That upset me for one. But worse, he is insisting that I take to be repaired at some body shop that I'd never heard of! I took a drive by this place today, and it's in a really seedy part of town. The body shop didn't really look all that good, either. Lots of smashed up cars and that sort of thing sitting in the lot. My husband would rather I either take the van back to the dealer where I got it and have it fixed in their body shop, or take it to a reputable collision repair company that we've used before when my hubby has had a couple of fender benders. We were always pleased with the work we've had done at both places, and they both have really good reputations in our area. We don't know anything about this questionable body shop that my cousin's hubby wants me to use, nor do we think that he has any right to tell us where to take the van. Personally, I think he should just have his wife's insurance take care of the repairs. Isn't that what people have insurance for? I'm thinking it will cost probably around $2000 or more to repair everything. I am sure he isn't going to want to pay for this out of pocket. I'm concerned that he wants me to take my van to some cut rate place that's just going to slap some body putty over the cracks and repaint it. I want the damage parts replaced.

Has anyone else ever had something like this happen to them? What should I do? Like I said, I'm not really close to this cousin or her hubby, but I do have to see them all the time at school events, and I'm STILL going to be related to these people no matter what happens. I feel like I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place with this situation. HELP! Any advice?

 

[Jennifer5973]

Oh no. How aggravating.

I think you could go to the police station and file a report after the fact. I did this once in a similar situation with a stranger. it''s not a panacea but might encourage your cousin to just fix the van.

If you can''t get her to reimburse you, you could take her to court. I have taken several people over the years to small claims court (yes, it IS a pain but for $2,000+ each time, it was worth it).

Good luck.

 

[strmrdr]

If you have full coverage insurance on the van just let your insurance company deal with it and get it repaired where you want to get it repaired.
They will do the collecting and if he wants to pay them himself he can.

 

[sjz]

The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.

How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM
Author: sjz
The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.

How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:26:34 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM
Author: sjz
The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.

How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

That makes me feel a little better. I wish this wasn''t a relative that I''m dealing with. If it had been anyone else, I probably would have called the police. But I could tell that she was really embarassed and upset so I let her off the hook. Now her danged husband is giving me grief!

. Her mother and father (my aunt and uncle) are my godparents. Somehow I feel like I''m never going to hear the end of this, especially if I make them pay to have my car fixed.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:26:34 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM

Author: sjz

The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.


How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

In most states and in most cases and with most insurance companies that is currect.
IL has a stupid law that your 20% liable even if someone hits your parked car thats in a legal parking spot.
Some insurance companies will make you pay the deductable or 20% which ever is lower.
But if you take them to court you can go for triple damages (80%x3) which makes up for the 20% so all the stupid law did was make more cases go to court

 

[yellowfan]

get your t&c fixed by an authorized Chrysler dealer, you want to make sure it is done correctly and not to void any warranty work.


your children ride in it daily and I would not want any "buddy" of your cousins DH working on a new expensive vehicle.

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:47:03 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 5/14/2005 11:26:34 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM

Author: sjz

The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.


How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

In most states and in most cases and with most insurance companies that is currect.
IL has a stupid law that your 20% liable even if someone hits your parked car thats in a legal parking spot.
Some insurance companies will make you pay the deductable or 20% which ever is lower.
But if you take them to court you can go for triple damages (80%x3) which makes up for the 20% so all the stupid law did was make more cases go to court

Shoot! I live in Illinois!

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:51:45 PM
Author: yellowfan
get your t&c fixed by an authorized Chrysler dealer, you want to make sure it is done correctly and not to void any warranty work.


your children ride in it daily and I would not want any ''buddy'' of your cousins DH working on a new expensive vehicle.

That''s what I would prefer to do, anyway. My van is still under warranty, and I was worried about that very same thing...voiding the warranty by not having an authorized repair service.

The reason I drive this particular van is because of exactly the reason you just stated...this is the vehicle my kids ride in, and I specifically chose it for the safety rating and features. Thanks! You just made me feel like I''m not being silly for preferring to have the van fixed somewhere other than where cousin''s hubby wants me to.

 

[yellowfan]

a few years back I had a t&c and I was traveling thru Paducah KY and the water pump went out and I was told if anyone else but a authorized dealer/repair shop service it that I voided the warranty. I had to get a hotel and have it towed to a dealer there. No one wanted to touch it when I tried to get other ppl fix it to just get home, but you will VOID the warranty. They are nice vans with sliding doors and such but I had too much trouble with mine

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:54:22 PM
Author: sjz

Date: 5/14/2005 11:47:03 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 5/14/2005 11:26:34 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM

Author: sjz

The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.


How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

In most states and in most cases and with most insurance companies that is currect.
IL has a stupid law that your 20% liable even if someone hits your parked car thats in a legal parking spot.
Some insurance companies will make you pay the deductable or 20% which ever is lower.
But if you take them to court you can go for triple damages (80%x3) which makes up for the 20% so all the stupid law did was make more cases go to court

Shoot! I live in Illinois!

The deductible has to be met regardless of fault. *Who* pays can vary from state to state. Though "morally" I think your cousin should pay the deductible regardless of law.

Good luck. Even though the principle of the thing makes you furious, is it really worth family upheaval? I can''t help but think you will be viewed as the bad guy. I''m not saying you are in any shape of form - but just possible perception.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/14/2005 11:54:22 PM
Author: sjz

Date: 5/14/2005 11:47:03 PM

Author: strmrdr

Date: 5/14/2005 11:26:34 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/14/2005 11:20:57 PM


Author: sjz


The insurance coverage that I have has a $1000 deductible. I really don''t think I should have to pay for anything, since the accident wasn''t my fault. I was just sitting in my car with the motor turned off in the parking space. She whacked into me as she was backing out of the parking space right next to me.



How does that work? If I go ahead and get it fixed, and turn it in to my insurance company, they will get the $1000 for the deductible out of her or her insurance company? I''ve never really had to do anything like this before. The only other time I was in an accident like this, it was MY fault and my insurance had to pay for the damage to the other guys car.

you don''t have to pay the 1k deductible,it''s not your fault.

In most states and in most cases and with most insurance companies that is currect.

IL has a stupid law that your 20% liable even if someone hits your parked car thats in a legal parking spot.

Some insurance companies will make you pay the deductable or 20% which ever is lower.

But if you take them to court you can go for triple damages (80%x3) which makes up for the 20% so all the stupid law did was make more cases go to court

Shoot! I live in Illinois!

talk to your claims adjustor and or agent they will be able to tell you the best way to proceed and what the policy is.
Without knowing the specifics of your policy no one can comment on exackly how they will handle it.
But by letting them handle it it takes you out of the getting it paid for loop and will save what will likely be a lot of mess.
I agree that its a good idea on that new a van to have the dealer handle it.

 

[MissAva]

I guess isnce her husband called you perhaps your husband ought o call hers. Get a detailed list of everything that is wrong with the car now and will need to be repaired. Explain to him that you will be getting it repaired at the dealership and he can either pay them, pay you, or his insurence company can pay. Which ever way they prefer is fine, also explain that you would have called the police but you were trying to be nice becuase she is family. You may want to mention the 80%*3 thing if he continues to buck at paying the costs. It was not your fault, it was hers and she ought to take responsibility.

 

[icelady]

Unfortunately you may have learned a lesson the hard way! Sorry for this. I too learned the hard way! I would call the police regardless of who the other driver is or how little damage appeared at the time. Simply state to the other driver that for insurance purposes you will need to have a formal police report. Waiting for the police might be a pain in the rear, but it affords you some time to go back and recheck the damage before anyone leaves the scene.

It seems that when a fender bender type accident happens, you tend not to see all the damage at first. Maybe because you are caught by surprise, or it just doesn''t show up right away etc. It must have been a surprise to your cousin thinking she just scraped your bumper, but finding out from your insurance company that it was MUCH worse than that. Did you try to call her before the insurance company sent their letter to her?

I have to agree with everyone else in not letting anyone but an authorized dealer work on your T&C, not just for warranty, but you should not have to scrimp on anything concerning repair.

Best of luck to you, and hopefully this will not cause any continuing family issues.

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/15/2005 11:13:09 AM
Author: fire&ice

The deductible has to be met regardless of fault. *Who* pays can vary from state to state. Though ''morally'' I think your cousin should pay the deductible regardless of law.

Good luck. Even though the principle of the thing makes you furious, is it really worth family upheaval? I can''t help but think you will be viewed as the bad guy. I''m not saying you are in any shape of form - but just possible perception.

My cousin said that she would pay for the damages. Her husband isn''t really trying to say they WON''T pay...he just wants to dictate to me where and how I''m supposed to get it fixed. I just don''t think that is right. It''s not even the principle of the thing really...she hit me and she said she would pay for it. So I expect them to be good to their word.

I''m sure that if the repairs end up costing a lot of money, I probably will be viewed as the bad guy. I''m not worried that much about family upheaval. We really aren''t that close. But I''m sure that I will be guetting some dirty looks and snide remarks at the next wedding/funeral/baptism or whatever family function throws the whole clan together...lol. I am willing to bet anything that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would be expecting me to pay for the repairs to her car, and I wouldn''t be getting away with telling them where and how to get it repaired.

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/15/2005 11:50:56 AM
Author: icelady
Unfortunately you may have learned a lesson the hard way! Sorry for this. I too learned the hard way! I would call the police regardless of who the other driver is or how little damage appeared at the time. Simply state to the other driver that for insurance purposes you will need to have a formal police report. Waiting for the police might be a pain in the rear, but it affords you some time to go back and recheck the damage before anyone leaves the scene.

It seems that when a fender bender type accident happens, you tend not to see all the damage at first. Maybe because you are caught by surprise, or it just doesn''t show up right away etc. It must have been a surprise to your cousin thinking she just scraped your bumper, but finding out from your insurance company that it was MUCH worse than that. Did you try to call her before the insurance company sent their letter to her?

I have to agree with everyone else in not letting anyone but an authorized dealer work on your T&C, not just for warranty, but you should not have to scrimp on anything concerning repair.

Best of luck to you, and hopefully this will not cause any continuing family issues.

My husband and I have both been in minor fender benders a couple of times over the years. Where we live, it''s not really necessary to call the police unless there is bodily injury, considerable property damage, or the accident is somehow blocking traffic. As a matter of fact, the police don''t really appreciate it when people call them for minor incidents in parking lots. I think the only time they even want to be called, other than for the conditions I''ve already mentioned, is if the concerned parties become involved in some type of physical confrontation over the accident. Anyway, I think that it would have caused a lot more family discord if I had called the cops on my cousin to report her for hitting my car. I was counting on her and her husband to be civilised about the whole thing and just pay for the damage without giving me a hard time. To be honest, when I thought the only damage was the scrapes on my bumper, I was considering letting her off the hook and not even bothering to get it fixed. That damage to the bumper wasn''t really all that bad, and it wouldn''t have affected the safety and drivability of the van. But when I saw the crack in the windshield and the cracks on the body of the van, I realized that something more serious might be wrong and that maybe even the frame of the van had been damaged somehow.

I don''t know how it works in other states, but in Illinois if you are involved in an accident, even if it''s not reported to the police at the time it occurs, you can go to either the police department or the Illinois Department of Transportation and get an accident form to be filled out. I think that the insurance companies require that if you make a claim as well. So tomorrow morning I am going to take my van to both the dealership and another reputable collision repair service and get two estimates, mainly just so that my cousin and her husband don''t think I''m trying to rip them off. Then I will stop by the police station and fill out a form for IDOT, and then I''m going to let the insurance company handle everything from there. I have State Farm insurance, and I know from past experience that they are very good.

If this causes "issues" with my cousin and her hubby...too darned bad! My husband spent a lot of money on that van...he bought it for cash last year for my mother''s day gift. It''s still a new car to me (under warranty and everything). But most of all, I don''t want to get it patched up, I want it fixed properly and fixed so that the warranty isn''t invalidated. This is not only my vehicle, but the ones my kids ride in on a daily basis. Next time, maybe "cuz" will be a little more careful when she''s behind the wheel of her car!

 

[sjz]

By the way...thanks to all of you that responded. I knew that this was the right way to handle it, but I needed to hear some reassurance that I wasn''t being an A$$H@LE about the whole thing. My husband agreed with me, so did my parents...but they ALWAYS agree with me...

. Sometimes it''s nice to have some people with an objective perspective to agree with me, too.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 5/16/2005 12:26:10 AM
Author: sjz

Date: 5/15/2005 11:13:09 AM
Author: fire&ice


The deductible has to be met regardless of fault. *Who* pays can vary from state to state. Though ''morally'' I think your cousin should pay the deductible regardless of law.

Good luck. Even though the principle of the thing makes you furious, is it really worth family upheaval? I can''t help but think you will be viewed as the bad guy. I''m not saying you are in any shape of form - but just possible perception.

My cousin said that she would pay for the damages. Her husband isn''t really trying to say they WON''T pay...he just wants to dictate to me where and how I''m supposed to get it fixed. I just don''t think that is right. It''s not even the principle of the thing really...she hit me and she said she would pay for it. So I expect them to be good to their word.

I''m sure that if the repairs end up costing a lot of money, I probably will be viewed as the bad guy. I''m not worried that much about family upheaval. We really aren''t that close. But I''m sure that I will be guetting some dirty looks and snide remarks at the next wedding/funeral/baptism or whatever family function throws the whole clan together...lol. I am willing to bet anything that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would be expecting me to pay for the repairs to her car, and I wouldn''t be getting away with telling them where and how to get it repaired.

Is she going to pay the deductible? Is this going to be an insurance claim on your policy? If so, wouldn''t your insurance rates go up? Don''t know - just asking.

You should NOT be dictated *where* to take your car. If they said they would pay, they should make you whole. I don''t think that plan involves after market subsitutions. But, I don''t know. Maybe the place is O.K.

Again, good luck

 

[Erin]

Since we knew each other (being related and all) we decided not to call the police or anything and just exchange insurance info. etc.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Next time, you really should do things the formal way to avoid family issues. You never know how cooperative family will/won''t be. Whereas if the police were involved there would be no question of responsibility. I''m sorry you have to deal with this but I learned my lesson the hard way when my sister demolished my one year old brand new car. She paid my deductable but it still counted against me because it went through my insurance.

 

[Momoftwo]

I would let the insurance companies handle it. If she hit you through no fault of your own, you shouldn''t have to pay anything. They will take statements from both of you and from any witnesses, but you don''t have to get the police involved in most areas when there are no injuries, unless your insurance wants a police report. I''m a big believer in using your insurance company, that''s why you have it and if hidden damage comes up a month from now, like a bent frame or whatever, you''re covered. I''m also pretty sure you can file a police report after the fact. Don''t let her husband dictate how things are done. Let your insurance do it. That''s why you pay for insurance.

 

[lost on 5th]

sorry to hear about the car, but just thought i would add my support

i think you have done everything correctly. about 2 years ago i got rear ended on lakeshore drive in chicago. from my experience.

1. insurance company did not request a police report. just wanted the other drivers information/insurance. (too hard to get police in chicago for a fender bender)

2. my insurance company came out to do a full estimate of damages. (at that point the other person could choose to pay or have their insurance pay)

3. i could take my car to an approved place of my liking (the dealer''s autobody people).

4. i believe i still had to pay me deductable.. and of course my insurance went up as well despite the fact i was stopped dead in traffic when hit

i think you are doing the right thing here. and if anything your cousing should be happy you didnt do a police report!

 

[fire&ice]

Some states are no fault - in other words your insurance company would pay regardless of fault. Don''t know about Ill.

 

[CanadianGal]

I would (unfortunately) consider myself an expert on being a fender bender victim. I was rear ended 3 times in one year .... twice by the same girl!! The other young punk didnt have a licence!!
This was when I lived in a different province ... and it was not neccessary to phone the police in such "minor" circumstances.
The girl who rear ended me twice i knew all my life ... she wasnt a good friend , but still someone i will see all the time .... she wanted to not settle using an insurance company ....BAD IDEA. When in such a situation , even if you know them and have any sort of relationship with them it is important to remember that It was THIER FAULT you shouldnt need to be inconvienced by them, or told by them how your car, which you payed top $$$ for, should be fixed. You need to stick to your guns ... and get what you deserve ....a safe vehicle for you and your loved ones!
Also, where I live, they consider that no one in parking lots have the right of way, and because of such, each is required to pay their deductibles to get their vehicles repaired...what a silly rule!!!

 

[sjz]

I took my car for the estimate today. I would have taken it yesterday, but I was in the Emergency Room all day (another story

). It looks like the damage isn''t too bad after all. I''m sure my cousins''s hubby won''t be happy to pay it, but too bad. It''s a done deal in my book. The whole price for repairs came in at under $500, which is what he said their insurance deductible was, so he''ll be paying out of pocket, anyway. Hopefully "cuz" will be a little more careful in the parking lot from now on!