When did it change for you?

[LazyDaisy]

Hi ladies! I have a question...

When did you first start to change from feeling hopeful/excited about how happy you are to be spending the rest of your life with the man of your dreams, to feeling like, "When will it be my turn?"

 

[FrekeChild]

I feel both most of the time.

 

[bubbly1126]

I agree with Freke, both most of the time.

It''s amazing what it does to your emotions!

 

[katica]

For me it happened when he told me that I''d have a ring on my finger soon and 2 months passed with nothing nada zip.. That was before I knew the difference between boy "soon" and girl "soon". I am really sad that he did that. It would have been better for him to just say nothing and then surprise me rather than get my hopes up. We had been together for 1 year and 2 months by that time.

 

[BlueSki231]

I started to get antsy about 9 or 10 months ago, which was a little over a year and a half into the relationship.
But like the others said - it''s more like a mixture of both emotions. I just want it to be official already!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/15/2008 9:36:06 PM
Author:LazyDaisy
Hi ladies! I have a question...


When did you first start to change from feeling hopeful/excited about how happy you are to be spending the rest of your life with the man of your dreams, to feeling like, ''When will it be my turn?''

I don''t get the ''is it my turn'' thing. I would have to say it hasn''t changed for me.

 

[ckrickett]

when he said he would propose (maybe.. he likes to throw that word in there alot) in the next few months it was actually what got my blood pumping.

6 months later and no end in sight! (well maybe after christmas! sob)

 

[sammyj]

I can''t remember the exact time / moment. It would have been either at a wedding or after finding out that a couple got engaged. Some event would have triggered the feeling of ''when is it my turn.'' Now, I''m not feeling that as much since we''ve had many talks and my BF and I are currently in the e-ring design process. I have a better feeling of when it may happen so my anxiety (and jealous of others) is down and I''m waiting patiently...

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I swing back and forth depending on my mood.. glass half full half empty kind of thing. Though, I try to keep the happy/excited in mind whenever I''m aware of it

 

[penniepie25]

my fiance seriusly sat down and talked to me about how he wasnt ready we are young and have ALOT going on with the new house - to my surprise it was all a sneaky plan of his!! you never know when those guys when they are trying to trick you!

 

[Clairitek]

I haven''t reached the "when will it be my turn??" place yet but I have a feeling that if my birthday comes around (early March) and FF hasn''t become my FI yet that I will probably begin to feel that way. In my mind (and I''ve verbalized this to him before) I''ve always figured we would be engaged by that time. He has promised me that we will have plenty of time to plan our wedding and he knows that I consider "plenty" to be around 14 months. We are looking at a 2010 wedding.

I do get twinges of that feeling once in a while but then I remind myself that he is working on it and that it will come when it does. I am doing my darndest not to stress over it and not to ruin the surprise by pestering. It gets tough sometimes to keep a lid on it though. When I get the feeling to nag I remember how my guy friend and his fiance basically decided on a car ride to a friend''s house that they were going to start telling people that they were engaged. He apparently was trying to formulate some sort of plan to propose but she kept being so pushy he basically said "Fine, lets start telling people. We can go pick out a ring for you soon." I personally want some sort of romance involved and don''t want to become engaged over a conversation like that, but thats just me.

 

[purselover]

I haven''t reached the sad why hasn''t it happened to me yet? I''ve never stopped the feeling excited and hopeful about our future, I''m lucky we''ve always been on the same page about getting engaged.

 

[vita*dolce]

i only feel sad about it every once in a while.. i have this constant feeling that it might be coming at any moment so i''m usually on the edge of my seat about it all

this has resulted in a major loss of sleep and an addiction to martha stewart weddings...

 

[laughwithme]

I feel like about one year ago (so, 2 years into our relationship) I really got hit with the "when will it be my turn???" It was mostly because three of my good friends were engaged and I started thinking about my own wedding in turn. But when I realized how hard he is saving, and really tried to appreciate the whole dating stage, it kind of evolved into excitement about just him and our relationship. Today, I told him that I am so happy that I am the ONE girl in this entire world who gets him. I feel so lucky. And of course it helps that those three friends are all married now, so I don''t feel like I''m in the running against anyone... everyone is just waiting on us and I feel like we will be "extra spoiled" when it is finally our turn.

 

[trillionaire]

Probably after I knew he had already purchased the ring. After I went through being excited, I honestly feel like I''ve been MORE inclined to break up! I don''t do well with suspense (anxiety problems) and it would be easier for me to be single or just dating than a LIW, or waiting for a pending engagement. I know I can''t speak for anyone else, but I think all the waiting is stupid. (stupid boys!) Plus we''ve been dating for 5+ years (which I am really happy and proud of!), but I just can''t convince myself that he shouldn''t have "done the deed" by now...

 

[fieryred33143]

Well the feeling of being happy to spend the rest of my life with him never went away.

But the feeling of "when will it be my turn" was when I made the mistake of discussing my personal life at work. As soon as everyone (well specifically two nosy-bodies) found out that we had been together at this point for 5 years, they started giving me a really, really, really hard time. At first it was funny. I wouldn''t even go home and say anything to FI (he''s FI now) because I thought it was silly. But then it got to a point where they would make a comment and I would sneak away into the restroom and cry. I remember one of those two making a statement about how she had come back from maternity leave, gotten pregnant again, left for maternity leave, came back and I still wasn''t engaged. So of course those comments amplified everything else and made me feel "when will it be my turn" especially when others around me were getting engaged.

All I can tell you is that your turn will come. Enjoy the time now as bf/gf before this chapter of your life is closed and others open.

 

[Blackpaw]

Im still excited, but i confess to being downhearted lately. The falling dollar has pushed back our engagement probably a year or more

 

[trillionaire]

Actually, I never really feel like "when is it my turn," especially not in a competitive sense. I am so happy for those around me that get engaged, and I feel no jealousy whatsoever about it. I went to my boyfriend''s brother''s wedding and loved every minute, including all of the "you''re next!" special attention

! And I was very happy that it was HER wedding, and not mine. And now his brother and his wife are expecting a baby next June, and I am so happy for them, but I would be really, really, really excited if the baby could arrive as my niece or nephew rather than just his brother''s baby. You know what I mean? So little things like that make me sad.

I think the way that I feel, the frustration or anxiety, the annoyance, the excitement, the WAITING that seems endless, has everything to do with us specifically and no one else generally. Not "when is my turn,", but "When is Ours?" I just want US to get there, to be able to start our lives together, to leave behind forever the "Whens? and Ifs? and Maybes?" and exchange them for "I do" and "Forever and Always".