When did your baby start sleeping through the night?

[Loves Vintage]

Awww, he's perfect, Dreamer!! So sweet!!

Skippy - Sorry to hear about Miles' reflux. That's got to be hard to see happening. Hope the zantac helps.

 

[Puppmom]

Dreamer, tell me there's hope for my 15 month old! We have definitely created a monster...a cute one but a monster nonetheless. I don't know why I'm such a wimp on the sleep front but it's starting to wear on me. Since straight CIO probably would crush me, I think I am going to try pick up put down and see what happens. There may be lots of sleepless nights until we get him back in his crib but it'll be worth it in the end! DH is on board so we'll probably rotate nights. I'm wearing ear plugs when it's my night to sleep!

....and Ryder is so cute! I love a big baby. N was just about that size too. Wait, no - N is short and chubby. Ryder is so long! N was 28.5 inches at 1.

Skippy, reflux is rough. A friend of mine used that Rock N Play for her son with reflux and it was a lifesaver. She also liked that she could rock it while laying in bed.

Well, I should probably get to bed since N will be up in 2 hours!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Dreamer, tell me there's hope for my 15 month old! We have definitely created a monster...a cute one but a monster nonetheless. I don't know why I'm such a wimp on the sleep front but it's starting to wear on me. Since straight CIO probably would crush me, I think I am going to try pick up put down and see what happens. There may be lots of sleepless nights until we get him back in his crib but it'll be worth it in the end! DH is on board so we'll probably rotate nights. I'm wearing ear plugs when it's my night to sleep!

....and Ryder is so cute! I love a big baby. N was just about that size too. Wait, no - N is short and chubby. Ryder is so long! N was 28.5 inches at 1.

Skippy, reflux is rough. A friend of mine used that Rock N Play for her son with reflux and it was a lifesaver. She also liked that she could rock it while laying in bed.

Well, I should probably get to bed since N will be up in 2 hours!

7Ryder is huge. He is the size of a one year old, it is a little silly. I think people wonder what is wrong with this one year old child you can't sit up and is only just starting to learn to grad things! haha. We call him "smiley" as a nick name because he is the most well dispositioned kid ever. I can't get over how he is smiley and happy all the time. Such a joy.

Pupp I gotta be honest, I think pick up put down time is long past I am thinking of my son when he was 15 months and no way would that have flown. But he was a stubborn and persistent little monkey, with a different disposition you might find it works. I guess eventually he would just get over tired and fall asleep when you put him down. Might take a few hours Pick up put down worked well with HUnter at like 4 weeks, but Ryder never went for it. With R we just let him CIO, meanies that we are. We are immune to crying now I can tell the difference between "I'm not awake I am just crying to fall asleep" and crying because of distress now. But as I said, we would not leave him for long periods, and I only let him CIO when I knew he was really really tired. Like, use pick up put down for a little while, nurse him to coma state, *then* use CIO after 15-20 minutes when it is clear he is basically asleep but just fighting it! We also found music or those light things like ocean wonders worked well! And soothers.

 

[swimmer]

E was ebf and had spurts of sleeping through the night at 3 months with a dream feed, then really got much better at it at 6 months when we moved and he got his own crib. He slept the first 3 months of his life on the floor wedged between two pillows and near DH as he refused to sleep on his back, we had a tiny apt, and he was so noisy, like the little engine that could. I nursed him to sleep on the breastfriend every single night of his first year even though every book told me that he would grow up to be a fascist if I did this. It was just so much easier and keeping weight on him was soooo hard that dream feeding was just a huge calorie source. E is 95% height, 25% weight so I have felt the pressure to keep getting fat in him.

I liked both therber and ncss in theory...so we let him cry for no more than 3 minutes starting at 12mths. If he got going (you can tell the diff b/w yowling off to sleep and revving up for hysteria, I know that hysteria = no sleep) DH would go up (bless his boobless self) and comfort him and then put him back in the crib. Usually E was asleep within two mins, however there were some nights that involved picking him up and calming him down three or four times. That stage of crying or pick up/put down lasted two months with the occasional caving and feeding to sleep. Now at 18mths, we put him in pjs and he picks a few books to read then he climbs the stairs and DH puts him in the crib and there is silence for 11hrs. The transition was that one night he got tired downstairs and shook the babygate to get upstairs, we put him in the crib and he was out cold. E does wake up at 5:45 every morning, but that is perfect for our schedule so I don't mind it. Then again any fever or teeth issues throw everything out the window. I would never use any cio even for 3 mins when he was sick or teething, that didn't seem fair to expect him to self-soothe and put himself to sleep.

Re the working on no sleep, I was lucky to have three months off of work, then four more months of working on my dissertation and moving before going back to work, however I was a fool to think I could ebf a "spirited" baby and do good research. My mind was foggy and I really feel like my hair turned more silver, it was like I couldn't find things in my brain and I was getting 6 straight hours, something about the hormones? We used the cosleeper some, but I was not ever able to sleep next to the baby, I was just so aware of him being there and he was so noisy. Anyway, I just reminded myself through every stage that things change quickly in the forest and that whatever had become routine was about to be trumped by the new stage. At least he is cute!

 

[Puppmom]

Ok, Dreamer and Swimmer...you opened the door and I'm barging in with questions!

So, when N wakes, it starts as a fussy cry - more like a whine. Then it slowly builds and before we know it, he's standing and doing that crying where he can't catch his breath. Once he's standing up, we know it's over. That's when we go get him.

N does know when it's bed time. We have a routine and, if he's ready before the usual time, he'll get his blankie and lay his head on my leg. We take him to his room and read a story and he's turns the light off. I then rock him to sleep and put him down.

- Maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse and I should start with trying to get him to fall asleep on his own? ...and that will lead to longer stretches of sleep?

- I've tried soothing him without picking him up out of the crib thinking if I could get him to fall asleep in the crib then we can avoid the wake up that comes with putting him down. Here's how that usually goes - he cries hysterically while I pat his back and rub his head. Then, a pause and a big yawn and he falls face first into the mattress because he's so tired. Then, count to ten and he's wailing again. I've never made it past an hour but so far it hasn’t worked. Maybe if I just powered through and did this for longer, it would eventually work?

- When he wakes in the MOTN (or 11pm like he did last night!), we let him cry for a few minutes then, when it elevates to the “can’t catch my breath” cry, we get him. The SECOND you pick him up, he stops crying and lays his head on you. We rock him in the chair and he passes out. We put him in the crib and he pops up and starts crying. This crying doesn’t start out as a whining. He goes straight to screaming. Then, I can’t bear to walk out and leave him that way. That’s how he ends up in our bed. Maybe, we should wait longer and longer each night to fetch him? Maybe this where I try pick up put down?

- One of the problems we’ve had recently is he’s been sick for almost a month straight. Do you make *exceptions* when they’re sick? While he’s been sick, he’s been sleeping ON me or so close to me that I can’t move a muscle.

We’ve talked to the nurse practitioner and one of the docs at our pedi office and they both advocate CIO (and say it worked with their own children) and keep stressing that the longer we wait, the harder it will be. I think I'm subconciously convinced that one night he'll just start STTN again!

I’m just so conflicted because I DO want him in his crib but none of the means to get there seem ideal. When I think about CIO and the possibility of hours of crying, it makes me sick to my stomach. And, at his age, I really do think it’ll be hours.

…this is embarrassing. I realize I’m full of excuses as to why I can’t get him out of our bed.

PS – feel free to boss me around, shout at me even. I need some tough love!

 

[Skippy123]

Dreamer my sister bf'ed bother her boys and they were big too! In fact we are going to baptism our boys and they fit into their cousins gowns that the cousins wore at 6 weeks! lol aw, that is cute about Ryder! Miles is my super happy go lucky baby; I can leave him playing by himself for an hour. Or I walk in their room first thing in the morning and get the biggest happy to see you smile! Evan is my more demanding baby but maybe because he is teething more? He is pretty smiley too. I just feel bad for when the teething hurts.


PUPP, is your friends baby still in the Rock and Play? When did she transition her baby to the crib? I am just curious how much longer I can keep him in it? I know they have wedges for the crib but they are kind of expensive but maybe I will need to buy one, tia!

LV, it is kind of awful to see him do that. I think I am a pretty laid back momma so normally if he wasn't upset I would just let him be but he gets pretty upset. Thank goodness the increased dose of zantac works!!! Oh and lots of babies have reflux (with varying severity); I guess it is just a matter of time. thanks!

 

[Puppmom]

Skippy, my friend transitioned her son our of the rock n play at 6.5 months because he was trying to flip over in it. His reflux was better (not good but better) by then. It's actually not going all that well because she's having a hard time getting him to STTN but she thinks it's unrelated. She thinks it's because he feels secure in the rock n play so she started swaddling him (arms out) and things have a improved a bit.

 

[Skippy123]

Skippy, my friend transitioned her son our of the rock n play at 6.5 months because he was trying to flip over in it. His reflux was better (not good but better) by then. It's actually not going all that well because she's having a hard time getting him to STTN but she thinks it's unrelated. She thinks it's because he feels secure in the rock n play so she started swaddling him (arms out) and things have a improved a bit.

Oh, that is interesting you say that is because Miles is trying to flip too. Okay, thanks; I probably will need to move him out of it soon! I appreciate the info!

 

[Dreamer_D]

So, when N wakes, it starts as a fussy cry - more like a whine. Then it slowly builds and before we know it, he's standing and doing that crying where he can't catch his breath. Once he's standing up, we know it's over. That's when we go get him.

That is how they all are, I think.

N does know when it's bed time. We have a routine and, if he's ready before the usual time, he'll get his blankie and lay his head on my leg. We take him to his room and read a story and he's turns the light off. I then rock him to sleep and put him down.

Sounds good to me!

- Maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse and I should start with trying to get him to fall asleep on his own? ...and that will lead to longer stretches of sleep?
Hmmm. I don't know. I think if we were talkinhg about a 3-4 months old I would say yes. But with a 15 months old I am not so sure. How are you thinking you will get him to fall asleep on his own? In my experience the falling asleep at the start of the night and staying asleep during the night are two very different things. H was always dope at the first and lame at the second.

- I've tried soothing him without picking him up out of the crib thinking if I could get him to fall asleep in the crib then we can avoid the wake up that comes with putting him down. Here's how that usually goes - he cries hysterically while I pat his back and rub his head. Then, a pause and a big yawn and he falls face first into the mattress because he's so tired. Then, count to ten and he's wailing again. I've never made it past an hour but so far it hasn’t worked. Maybe if I just powered through and did this for longer, it would eventually work?

I never found that worked with HUnter and have not tried it with Ryder. It seems like silly advice from the books to me, along with the idea what you should wait longer and longer stretches when using CIO before you go in. Both methods, from a learning theory perpective, would teach the child to fuss louder and longer to get comfort. Sort of the opposite of what you want, eh?
- When he wakes in the MOTN (or 11pm like he did last night!), we let him cry for a few minutes then, when it elevates to the “can’t catch my breath” cry, we get him. The SECOND you pick him up, he stops crying and lays his head on you. We rock him in the chair and he passes out. We put him in the crib and he pops up and starts crying. This crying doesn’t start out as a whining. He goes straight to screaming. Then, I can’t bear to walk out and leave him that way. That’s how he ends up in our bed. Maybe, we should wait longer and longer each night to fetch him? Maybe this where I try pick up put down?

- One of the problems we’ve had recently is he’s been sick for almost a month straight. Do you make *exceptions* when they’re sick? While he’s been sick, he’s been sleeping ON me or so close to me that I can’t move a muscle.

When my babies are sick I sooth them however needed. With H once we was STTN the disturbance of illness lasted for the illness and then he was back in his routine. BUT I did not bring him in bed with us when he was sick. I would sooth him as needed in his room. So I guess that is one small thing, something we did with both boys, is just at a point decide that they were going to be in their room always, not ours, and if they needed me I went to them. If the option of coming into mom and dads bed is there, I feel like they will want to try for that. But remove that option and perhaps they get more used to being in their own room as a safe place.

I’m just so conflicted because I DO want him in his crib but none of the means to get there seem ideal. When I think about CIO and the possibility of hours of crying, it makes me sick to my stomach. And, at his age, I really do think it’ll be hours.

…this is embarrassing. I realize I’m full of excuses as to why I can’t get him out of our bed.

PS – feel free to boss me around, shout at me even. I need some tough love!

Well I don't think there is a right and wrong here, really. Co-sleeping is not bad, IMO, as long as you are all happy with it. I know many parents who co-slept for a long time and eventually thier kids ended up in their own beds. If you WANT to transition him, I am more than happy to be your moral support! But if you don't want to, then do not feel pressured to do so. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping from a developmental perspective in my opinion.

More in a second...

 

[Dreamer_D]

PUPP I am no expert on this stuff, just a mom like you, but for *us* with Hunter the only thing that worked for the MOTN wake ups was true CIO where you just do not go inot the room. We did it at 9 months, where previously he was waking 2-4 times a night! It was so hard, but it only took 2 nights. The first night I felt so mean, but he still woke up smiling and happy the next morning It could not have been that traumatic for him! I have often found with my kids that the peak of their crying signals the time when they will fall asleep! Like wwwaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Perhaps you are going in too soon? YOu might also try a 20 minute approach. Give it 20 minutes and see what happens. Or, time how long he pauses between cries. Is it getting longer? If you are not read for CIO I might set a smaller goal -- getting him back in his own bed. So you basically persist in his room at soothing him, pick up put down, until he falls asleep in his own bed. It would work eventually!

 

[swimmer]

Ok, Dreamer and Swimmer...you opened the door and I'm barging in with questions!
Well, here is the thing, figure out what your goals are regarding sleep and then design your plan backwards. All kids love structure and predictability, N wants to go to sleep and he wants a routine, you just need to figure out what will work best for your family and creating a consistent path will follow.

So, when N wakes, it starts as a fussy cry - more like a whine. Then it slowly builds and before we know it, he's standing and doing that crying where he can't catch his breath. Once he's standing up, we know it's over. That's when we go get him.
I totally know that feeling, you just know you have to get them, game over. I agree and I also go in and get him, or rather DH does so as to not have boobs introduced into the situ.

N does know when it's bed time. We have a routine and, if he's ready before the usual time, he'll get his blankie and lay his head on my leg. We take him to his room and read a story and he's turns the light off. I then rock him to sleep and put him down.
What about just putting him in his crib instead of rocking him. Even staying for a bit with your hand on him and then leaving, but making him soothe himself to sleep rather than rocking him?
- Maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse and I should start with trying to get him to fall asleep on his own? ...and that will lead to longer stretches of sleep?
Yeah, it sounds like you know what you should be doing, N needs to learn to fall asleep solo and it sounds like you have created the routine and he is showing that he is sleepy, have you ever just put him in the crib without rocking him?
- I've tried soothing him without picking him up out of the crib thinking if I could get him to fall asleep in the crib then we can avoid the wake up that comes with putting him down. Here's how that usually goes - he cries hysterically while I pat his back and rub his head. Then, a pause and a big yawn and he falls face first into the mattress because he's so tired. Then, count to ten and he's wailing again. I've never made it past an hour but so far it hasn’t worked. Maybe if I just powered through and did this for longer, it would eventually work? What do you need to do longer? patting him? I missed that, sorry. Once he is up and hysterical,then crashes, what happens when he falls asleep before the 10count to scream? do you keep your hand on him? Is it that he needs the reassurance that you are there? I found it impossible to transfer sleeping baby into the crib without waking him up but DH is master of the flip while supporting the head (E is a tummy sleeper from the very beginning) Is your DH better at keeping him asleep for the transfer? DH takes inordinate pride in this btw.

- When he wakes in the MOTN (or 11pm like he did last night!), we let him cry for a few minutes then, when it elevates to the “can’t catch my breath” cry, we get him. The SECOND you pick him up, he stops crying and lays his head on you. We rock him in the chair and he passes out. We put him in the crib and he pops up and starts crying. This crying doesn’t start out as a whining. He goes straight to screaming. Then, I can’t bear to walk out and leave him that way. That’s how he ends up in our bed. Maybe, we should wait longer and longer each night to fetch him? Maybe this where I try pick up put down? In my experience and from what I read, there is no point in letting a truly hysterical baby scream. Screaming to the point of vomiting and a cold sweat is not what Furber or HSHHC urge at all and that is where the pick up put down comes in. In my experience when it was hysterical screaming we brought him into bed with us, but when it was just yowling we waited a few mins and it passed.

- One of the problems we’ve had recently is he’s been sick for almost a month straight. Do you make *exceptions* when they’re sick? While he’s been sick, he’s been sleeping ON me or so close to me that I can’t move a muscle. I do not do cio when E is sick. He just had the croup and I was supposed to take him to the ER at Childrens if he didn't drink for 3 hours. I was not going to let him cry for even a second since breathing was pretty hard for him. In no way could I have let him cio even for our max of 3 mins at that point.

We’ve talked to the nurse practitioner and one of the docs at our pedi office and they both advocate CIO (and say it worked with their own children) and keep stressing that the longer we wait, the harder it will be. I think I'm subconciously convinced that one night he'll just start STTN again!
Well, he could also start doing algebra all on his own...but I've heard enough horror stories about teenagers and college students who are still bad a putting themselves to sleep. Not that there are ever exceptions of course and I just met a baby who slept through the night at day 3, but she was 10lbs 5oz. In my limited experience, a slightly modified cio worked, but I was also told that feeding him to sleep was the worst thing ever. Whatever, we will damage them all, i just hope he has good insurance later for therapy. If what you have now isn't working, then you need to make some changes, but if you can't then, don't. I couldn't do cio till E was older, he just wouldn't have gotten it and would have been pissed and screamed for hours. So I didn't do it. When he was 12 mths he was sturdy and I thought he could do it, so we did. But I think its like a lot of things in life, if you try it and you aren't sure and think it might fail then you will be totally right, it will fail. Not that you want it to! But pick a path that you can consistently keep for both N's and your own sake.
I’m just so conflicted because I DO want him in his crib but none of the means to get there seem ideal. When I think about CIO and the possibility of hours of crying, it makes me sick to my stomach. And, at his age, I really do think it’ll be hours.
I just haven't seen ANY research that says letting a baby cry for hours is going to work. Furber and many many others, I can pull up authors if you want, say to NOT let that happen and crying is not the goal of any cio program. I think that CIO anecdotally discussed is very different from actual CIO? The longest we ever set the timer for waiting till going up was 7 mins. He fell asleep before then most of the time, but I ran him every afternoon to the park, on the playground he did a ton of stuff, and then we scooted home, and that was after a full day of playing at daycare with lots of outside exercise. Yes, I was trying to run a toddler ragged, but I wanted him to want to sleep and it seemed to work.
…this is embarrassing. I realize I’m full of excuses as to why I can’t get him out of our bed.
If you want him in your bed, then keep him there! Many cultures keep him there for years and their kids turn out just fine. I'm no expert at all, but I knew what I wanted our routine to look like. What do you want? Just kick him out sometime before teenage years?
PS – feel free to boss me around, shout at me even. I need some tough love!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: CIO. Hunter was not an hysterical crier. He would cry loudly and long, but he was not hysterical or vomiting or any of those things. We opted when it was time for CIO to literally just not go to him in the MOTN. He would start with little mewls, then louder, and eventually YOWL. It would last 10-20 mintes then stop, then start up again after 5 minutes. Stop for 10. So he would cry on and off. The first night it lasted about 1.5 hours on and off with the off periods getting longer and longer and longer in that time. The second night was much shorter. And that was it. With Ryder, we also let him fuss to learn to put himself to sleep, starting much earlier, and I think it is why he sleeps well at night so early, in part. I don't know what we would have done if H wanted to cry for hours or was truly hysterical. Probably not persisted and tried something else. I was against the idea of "Fuss it Out" which is a better term for what we did perhaps that CIO. But I was at my wits end with 4 wakeups per night. Whatever you do, within reason of course -- and you are a caring mother obviously -- you won't do any damage to your kid beyond the run-of-the-mill damage that what we all do as parents So just keep trying different things and maybe it will work.

As I mentioned earlier I might set a smaller goal of staying in his room, first, then work on eliminating the night waking later.

 

[Laila619]

I think my DH and I hit the sleep jackpot with out son. He started STTN from 10pm to 6:15am at 7 weeks old.

Now at 11 months old, he'll sleep for 12 - 13 hours, from 9pm to 10am. We are very lucky we get to sleep in, as the 6:15am wake ups were a little too early. This kid LOVES getting his rest. He gets excited when you put him in his little sleep sack. I know if we have baby number two, he/she will probably be a horrible sleeper.

Nighttime sleep was always good, but until 6 months old, he would NOT nap on his own--we had to hold him for all naps. We did a bit of sleep training, and then it clicked for him and he became a pro at naps, too. He sleeps in his crib on his tummy (his preference).

I think a lot of what makes a 'good sleeper' is just the baby's personality, and if they know how to self-soothe. My little guy never took a paci, but he sucks his thumb so he can always put himself to sleep with that.

 

[Puppmom]

Laila, wow! That is fantastic. N started STTN from 7-7 at about 11 weeks and did so until about 6 months when all hell broke loose.

Dreamer and Swimmer, thank you so much for your detailed and thoughtful responses. I think you're both right that I need to start small. The idea of going from sleeping with me to going the entire night in his crib seems like an intimidating leap. But, if I think about it in smaller steps, it seems much more doable. We've established a pattern of mommy rocks you to sleep, you sleep in your crib for a few hours, you cry, daddy comes and gets you and you cuddle with mommy until morning. That is something we're going to have to change one step at a time.

I think the challenge with this (and a lot of things parenting) is, like Dreamer said, there's no right answer. What I think is right for our family, is to get Nolan to sleep in his own bed. I'm realizing that's not going to happen in a day or a week or maybe even a month but we'll get there.

...to really throw Mommy and Daddy for a loop, Nolan decided to sleep in his crib from 7:30 last night till 6:30 this morning. I don't even remember the last time that happened.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think my DH and I hit the sleep jackpot with out son. He started STTN from 10pm to 6:15am at 7 weeks old.

Now at 11 months old, he'll sleep for 12 - 13 hours, from 9pm to 10am. We are very lucky we get to sleep in, as the 6:15am wake ups were a little too early. This kid LOVES getting his rest. He gets excited when you put him in his little sleep sack. I know if we have baby number two, he/she will probably be a horrible sleeper.

Nighttime sleep was always good, but until 6 months old, he would NOT nap on his own--we had to hold him for all naps. We did a bit of sleep training, and then it clicked for him and he became a pro at naps, too. He sleeps in his crib on his tummy (his preference).

I think a lot of what makes a 'good sleeper' is just the baby's personality, and if they know how to self-soothe. My little guy never took a paci, but he sucks his thumb so he can always put himself to sleep with that.

Laila am I remembering though that you had challenges at one point with getting him to fall asleep on his own? I seem to recall a thread... I'd love to hear how it resolved.

 

[Laila619]

I think my DH and I hit the sleep jackpot with out son. He started STTN from 10pm to 6:15am at 7 weeks old.

Now at 11 months old, he'll sleep for 12 - 13 hours, from 9pm to 10am. We are very lucky we get to sleep in, as the 6:15am wake ups were a little too early. This kid LOVES getting his rest. He gets excited when you put him in his little sleep sack. I know if we have baby number two, he/she will probably be a horrible sleeper.

Nighttime sleep was always good, but until 6 months old, he would NOT nap on his own--we had to hold him for all naps. We did a bit of sleep training, and then it clicked for him and he became a pro at naps, too. He sleeps in his crib on his tummy (his preference).

I think a lot of what makes a 'good sleeper' is just the baby's personality, and if they know how to self-soothe. My little guy never took a paci, but he sucks his thumb so he can always put himself to sleep with that.

Laila am I remembering though that you had challenges at one point with getting him to fall asleep on his own? I seem to recall a thread... I'd love to hear how it resolved.

Hi Pupp! Good luck with whatever you decide to try!

Hi Dreamer~yes, we did have that issue of getting him to fall asleep on his own...we had to spend endless amounts of time rocking him until he fell asleep because if he wasn't totally asleep and we put him down, he would SCREAM and SCREAM! Once he fell asleep it was great but getting there was the problem. Also, he would only sleep reclined for the first 6 months, but that wasn't really a problem once we bought the Fisher Price Rock 'N Play sleeper.

How we tackled the issue of him not going down on his own: my mom came over and she helped with the naps. Her no-nonsense approach worked. My mom said my son could tell I was nervous about naps, and he was picking up on that. Who knows if that was true or not, but when she laid him down for his naps, it worked. DH and I did a bit of CIO for nighttime--it was hard, but it literally took two nights, and that was IT! It just seemed to click for him. It was probably just really good timing since he was finally able to self-soothe and had just started sucking his thumb. Now we put him down in his crib, he immediately rolls onto his tummy, snuggles into the mattress, and he's out like a light.

I always thought CIO sounded mean, but it's also mean to allow a baby to be sleep deprived and crabby. Something had to give! It worked, and he still loves us. Plus it was only two nights--if it hadn't worked right away, I probably would not have kept doing it. We rocked him to sleep for the first 5.5 months and then that's when we tried CIO.

ETA: we also tried pick up/put down once and that just made him mad and hysterical. I think he thought we were teasing him.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think my DH and I hit the sleep jackpot with out son. He started STTN from 10pm to 6:15am at 7 weeks old.

Now at 11 months old, he'll sleep for 12 - 13 hours, from 9pm to 10am. We are very lucky we get to sleep in, as the 6:15am wake ups were a little too early. This kid LOVES getting his rest. He gets excited when you put him in his little sleep sack. I know if we have baby number two, he/she will probably be a horrible sleeper.

Nighttime sleep was always good, but until 6 months old, he would NOT nap on his own--we had to hold him for all naps. We did a bit of sleep training, and then it clicked for him and he became a pro at naps, too. He sleeps in his crib on his tummy (his preference).

I think a lot of what makes a 'good sleeper' is just the baby's personality, and if they know how to self-soothe. My little guy never took a paci, but he sucks his thumb so he can always put himself to sleep with that.

Laila am I remembering though that you had challenges at one point with getting him to fall asleep on his own? I seem to recall a thread... I'd love to hear how it resolved.

Hi Pupp! Good luck with whatever you decide to try!

Hi Dreamer~yes, we did have that issue of getting him to fall asleep on his own...we had to spend endless amounts of time rocking him until he fell asleep because if he wasn't totally asleep and we put him down, he would SCREAM and SCREAM! Once he fell asleep it was great but getting there was the problem. Also, he would only sleep reclined for the first 6 months, but that wasn't really a problem once we bought the Fisher Price Rock 'N Play sleeper.

How we tackled the issue of him not going down on his own: my mom came over and she helped with the naps. Her no-nonsense approach worked. My mom said my son could tell I was nervous about naps, and he was picking up on that. Who knows if that was true or not, but when she laid him down for his naps, it worked. DH and I did a bit of CIO for nighttime--it was hard, but it literally took two nights, and that was IT! It just seemed to click for him. It was probably just really good timing since he was finally able to self-soothe and had just started sucking his thumb. Now we put him down in his crib, he immediately rolls onto his tummy, snuggles into the mattress, and he's out like a light.

I always thought CIO sounded mean, but it's also mean to allow a baby to be sleep deprived and crabby. Something had to give! It worked, and he still loves us. Plus it was only two nights--if it hadn't worked right away, I probably would not have kept doing it. We rocked him to sleep for the first 5.5 months and then that's when we tried CIO.

ETA: we also tried pick up/put down once and that just made him mad and hysterical. I think he thought we were teasing him.

Thanks for sharing Laila! We had a similar experience with Ryder. Pick up Put down never worked with him. At about 4 months or so I decided that was it, I nursed him until he was asleep or drowsy, and then pop him in the crib to let him fuss/soothe himself to sleep. We found he learned to soother very fast, and only ever cried for 10 minutes, never hysterically, and his eyes were ususally closed and he would turn his head back and forth in a sort of mantra rythmic thing. Even now occassionally he will cry or fuss to fall asleep, but for about 1-2 minutes. We also got a Tiny Love music thing, like the Fisher Price Aquarium, and it is good when he needs something to focus on to help himself fall asleep.

 

[Puppmom]

By some stroke of dumb luck N slept through the night on Monday and Tuesday. Last night we had company and he started to stir around midnight. He fell back asleep a few times after finding his blankie and sucking his thumb. By 1am, he worked himself into full hysterics. Our guests were heading out shortly so we thought it would be the perfect time to just let him go for a little bit to see what happened. Our friends were encouraging us and cheering us on. About 10 minutes later...silence. Victory! ...or so we thought. DD was in her room watching a movie and thought she would help out so she picked him up and rocked him

 

[Dreamer_D]

By some stroke of dumb luck N slept through the night on Monday and Tuesday. Last night we had company and he started to stir around midnight. He fell back asleep a few times after finding his blankie and sucking his thumb. By 1am, he worked himself into full hysterics. Our guests were heading out shortly so we thought it would be the perfect time to just let him go for a little bit to see what happened. Our friends were encouraging us and cheering us on. About 10 minutes later...silence. Victory! ...or so we thought. DD was in her room watching a movie and thought she would help out so she picked him up and rocked him

D-OH!

But good news anyways, if he could put himself to sleep once as he did earlier in the evening he can do it again! That is good to know.

 

[Skippy123]

Okay, so my prayers are being answered! When I put my twins to sleep; I stick a paci in Evan and turn the white noise sound machine on and give Miles his little blankie and they sleep. Well the past 2 nights they STTN, unbelievable (rejoicing)! Then I talked to my husband and said what if they wake up in the middle of the night?? He said give Evan his paci and turn on the sound machine. Well they woke at 2 am, not crying, just babbling and I did that! They went right back to sleep. I am going to keep doing that unless they are really crying, then I will feed them, but hopefully this is a step in the right direction of STTN!

 

[Pandora II]

Just interested in whether anyone who tried CIO had to go through hours of screaming every night for weeks? Everyone I have read about or talked to seems to have had success in just a few days. If you had a more persistent child did you give up and try again later?

I tried putting Daisy down to sleep in her own bed last year (just for the first part of the night between her going to bed and us going to bed) and it was a disaster. It took nearly 2 hours of hysterical screaming to get her to even lie down the first night. Eventually I got her to go to sleep by feeding her and lying next to her - on the floor with the cot mattress at the absolute lowest level which was not comfortable for me! 20 minutes later she was up again and refused to go back in.

We kept going for 2 weeks and it was always at least an hour of screaming followed by a max of 40 minutes sleep before she was up again. She got so panic stricken at the idea of going to bed - which she'd always liked in the past - and would be saying 'please mummy, sleep in your bed' from the minute we got her pjs out. At that point we decided to give up.

In our bed, we get in together, read a story, dim the lights and within 10 minutes she is asleep and stays asleep. I wouldn't dream of trying to get her to fall asleep alone - not a hope in hell - so I use the 'falling asleep' part as an excuse to read a book.

Eventually we would like our bed back to ourselves, so I'm hoping she eventually moves out herself! I don't think it will happen while she is still nursing though.

I'd be really interested to hear from anyone else who co-slept about what happened with regards to their child moving into their own room!

 

[Mela4567]

Hi Pandora,

I am interested in hearing any replies to your question about transitioning your daughter to her own bed. We currently co sleep with our nine month old dd and have been of the mindset that she will transition when she is old enough to understand and wants to sleep in her own bed, but perhaps this idea is naive?

 

[Loves Vintage]

Haha, add me to the group of co-sleeping parents who wants to know when they transition to their own bed or room. I'm on another forum where the moms all say their kids moved to their own bedrooms when they were ready. Not a lot of specifics there! A mom IRL told me that her son moved to his own bed when he started school and heard all his friends talking about their rooms. I have a feeling the answer is along the lines of every baby/child is different.

Pandora, Does your daughter fall asleep on her own? Did you used to have to rock her or pat her back? My baby won't fall asleep without being cuddled and having her back patted. I'm wondering when that ends . . . .

 

[Dreamer_D]

ETA: I did not read your post carefully Pandora. Still, I think the below is good advice for any parent of a toddler trying to help them do what YOU want, like sleep in their own bed. Hunter went through a nightmare phase (of course) right when Ryder was born at 2.5 years old, and the below worked very well for us.

pandora Daisy is almost 2, right? Or older even? Too old for CIO! I totally think you need to try something like the methods in "123 Magic". They worked soooo well for us when our son Hunter regressed and was refusing naps and things.

We tried a few different methods but the gist is no talking, no emotions from you. Calmly pick the kid up and put her in the bed and leave. If she gets up, repeat... ad nauseum until she calms and lies dows. For us, if he cried and needed soothing (not tantrum crying) we hugged and soothed him, still no talking, then put him down and left again. This worked well. A variation on this that works for us now is one of us lies with him in his bed for 10-15 minuets (he has a queen size bed) and when he is calm and drowsy, we leave and he sleeps. Not ideal perhaps, but it works well for us and helps him be calm and sleep. If he monkies around, we leave.

The no talking, no emotions thing is hard but works really well. I totally recommend the book, they have other suggestions too.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Haha, add me to the group of co-sleeping parents who wants to know when they transition to their own bed or room. I'm on another forum where the moms all say their kids moved to their own bedrooms when they were ready. Not a lot of specifics there! A mom IRL told me that her son moved to his own bed when he started school and heard all his friends talking about their rooms. I have a feeling the answer is along the lines of every baby/child is different.

Pandora, Does your daughter fall asleep on her own? Did you used to have to rock her or pat her back? My baby won't fall asleep without being cuddled and having her back patted. I'm wondering when that ends . . . .

Ryder does not fall asleep without nursing. He will fall asleep in the car or stroller without it, but at home I nurse him to sleep. This started when teething got bad.

I would say just gradually start trying to put her in the crib when she is less sleepy! Experiment with different timing. That is what we have done with Ryder for all his transitions and with some gradual perisstence over time we have achieved the goals.

With Hunter we were very "sleep training" oriented. With Ryder, I don't have the energy or the time so I do what works, and also keep in mind my longer term goal. Right now, I want to be able to put him down without nursing him to sleep, so I try at least once a day to put him down when he is still awake and let him try to put himself to sleep. Or I will try transferring him before he is out cold. Just small steps. Sometimes it works and sometimes not, but I think in a few months he will be doing what we want. This method of trying different things and incrementally going in the direction we want, worked to get him a) off my chest b) off my boob) c) out of our bed into a cosleeper d) into the cosleeper all night, e) into his own crib. Baby steps.

 

[Mela4567]

Haha, add me to the group of co-sleeping parents who wants to know when they transition to their own bed or room. I'm on another forum where the moms all say their kids moved to their own bedrooms when they were ready. Not a lot of specifics there! A mom IRL told me that her son moved to his own bed when he started school and heard all his friends talking about their rooms. I have a feeling the answer is along the lines of every baby/child is different.

Pandora, Does your daughter fall asleep on her own? Did you used to have to rock her or pat her back? My baby won't fall asleep without being cuddled and having her back patted. I'm wondering when that ends . . . .

Loves Vintage:

How old is your daughter? We either cuddle, walk, nurse, drive to sleep although the length of time we have to do this is decreasing as M grows.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Hi Mela,

She's almost a year! Clearly, it's become part of the routine we've established with her. Her nap schedules really vary too, so that plays a big part in how much cuddling is required. I'm sure with time it will lessen, but not sure how to help facillitate that at this point.

You should join us in the newborn-12 month thread if you're interested in sticking around! You can post photos too, if you're inclined to do so. We love baby photos 'round here!!

 

[Pandora II]

Dreamer, she'll be 3 in May!

LV - Daisy has never gone to sleep on her own. We've always nursed, hugged or whatever till she's asleep and floppy (before they get floppy they tend to wake up when you move).

I've never believed in self soothing or having to fall asleep alone. I'm a great believer in following evolutionary methods and that means having babies close to you and expecting them to be 100% dependent on you. Other people think different and that is fine, but it is a reason why I don't mind having to spend extra time at bedtime etc

I have 1,2,3 Magic and it is good for discipline. However, putting a child in TO is very different from trying to make them sleep alone. As I said in the earlier post, it took over 2 hours the first night and over an hour for the next 13 just to get her to lie down - at which point we gave

D also hated being in the carseat and only stopped screaming for entire journeys when she was around 18 months. Before that, she never once slept in the car, she just screamed. Any journey over 20 minutes, we'd arrive to find a shaking child absolutely soaked through with sweat and tears. It was hell!

She's the most stubborn child I have met (worse than DH or I were) - last Sunday we went out for a walk. She wanted to be carried... my back is playing up so I can't and DH wanted her to learn to walk on outings so we said 'no'. The walk lasted an 1.5 hours and she screamed the entire way. No amount of 'look at the swans/ducks/squirrel' made any difference. When I asked her about the walk later that night, she said she'd had a lovely time except that she had been sad and cried when Mummy said she was going home because she was cross (I lost it at one point and told DH I couldn't take anymore and was going home)!

I hate the way that people look at you as if you are either being cruel to your screaming child, or that you aren't disciplining them (my children weren't allowed to behave that way, blah, blah, blah) and that you are aware that every other person who thought a nice Sunday afternoon walk would be fun can hear your kid from a mile away. DH doesn't give a damn, but I find I get more and more stressed by it.

Anyway, although I'd eventually like our bed back, I'm not working on it - just intrigued about others.

Also, while D is stubborn and persistent, she isn't unique - there are other kids who are the same and so I'm always intrigued as to what has worked. Most I know give up after 15 minutes max.

 

[Mela4567]

Dreamer, she'll be 3 in May!

LV - Daisy has never gone to sleep on her own. We've always nursed, hugged or whatever till she's asleep and floppy (before they get floppy they tend to wake up when you move).

I've never believed in self soothing or having to fall asleep alone. I'm a great believer in following evolutionary methods and that means having babies close to you and expecting them to be 100% dependent on you. Other people think different and that is fine, but it is a reason why I don't mind having to spend extra time at bedtime etc

I have 1,2,3 Magic and it is good for discipline. However, putting a child in TO is very different from trying to make them sleep alone. As I said in the earlier post, it took over 2 hours the first night and over an hour for the next 13 just to get her to lie down - at which point we gave

D also hated being in the carseat and only stopped screaming for entire journeys when she was around 18 months. Before that, she never once slept in the car, she just screamed. Any journey over 20 minutes, we'd arrive to find a shaking child absolutely soaked through with sweat and tears. It was hell!

She's the most stubborn child I have met (worse than DH or I were) - last Sunday we went out for a walk. She wanted to be carried... my back is playing up so I can't and DH wanted her to learn to walk on outings so we said 'no'. The walk lasted an 1.5 hours and she screamed the entire way. No amount of 'look at the swans/ducks/squirrel' made any difference. When I asked her about the walk later that night, she said she'd had a lovely time except that she had been sad and cried when Mummy said she was going home because she was cross (I lost it at one point and told DH I couldn't take anymore and was going home)!

I hate the way that people look at you as if you are either being cruel to your screaming child, or that you aren't disciplining them (my children weren't allowed to behave that way, blah, blah, blah) and that you are aware that every other person who thought a nice Sunday afternoon walk would be fun can hear your kid from a mile away. DH doesn't give a damn, but I find I get more and more stressed by it.

Anyway, although I'd eventually like our bed back, I'm not working on it - just intrigued about others.

Also, while D is stubborn and persistent, she isn't unique - there are other kids who are the same and so I'm always intrigued as to what has worked. Most I know give up after 15 minutes max.

Hi Pandora,

Your Daughter sounds like an older version of mine . Journey's in the car are painful for me as well and usually result in full on screaming and tears often for both of us. At nine months my daughter is fiercely independent, and very persistent as well. That is one of the reasons I don't believe a cry it out approach to sleep would work for our family...Along with my beliefs about teaching and learning and brain development but that is just my opinion. Luckily she is able to speak a few words and generally communicate her needs/wants with greater clarity in the last few weeks which is beginning to make my life easier although she is now walking so exploring and getting into everything!!

I'm curious, did your daughter meet many of her developmental milestones (teeth, crawling, walking etc.) earlier than average?

 

[Mela4567]

Hi Mela,

She's almost a year! Clearly, it's become part of the routine we've established with her. Her nap schedules really vary too, so that plays a big part in how much cuddling is required. I'm sure with time it will lessen, but not sure how to help facillitate that at this point.

You should join us in the newborn-12 month thread if you're interested in sticking around! You can post photos too, if you're inclined to do so. We love baby photos 'round here!!

Thanks LV

I often lurk on the thread, admiring all the beautiful babes : ) Your daughter always looks so sweet and happy! Perhaps I'll "pop by" and introduce myself. I feel weepy and nostalgic when I think that my baby is turning one in a few short months and I imagine it is the same for others. Everyone says that the time flies by but I don't think that we truly *get it* until we see our sweet little ones growing and changing before our very eyes.