Where do people get this stuff from?

[Gypsy]

I know it's happened to you.

You've been talking to your family member or friend about the wedding and some choice you made. And all of the sudden you get a reaction, and a comment that has you going WTF?

Example: My grandmother has a large Persian Turquoise Pear pendant with diamond baguettes all around it in a halo which I've been told I'm going to inherit someday (halo baguettes are set perpendicular to the stone, the setting type has a name I can't remember. Ballerina style?) and I have a Turquoise ring, and my great aunt is buying me pear drop turquoise and diamond earrings (or so the rumor goes). So I was talking to my mom about wedding jewelry (she feel weird about not buying me jewelry for my wedding. It's a Persian custom but I'd much rather have them gift us the wedding photography.) and mentioned that I HAD planned on wearing this set. But with my colors changed to orange white and green, I was exploring other options.

She says, "Well of course you are! Turqouise isn't appropriate for a bride! You have to wear pearls!"

Um... HUH?

 

[surfgirl]

I dont think that''s a weird comment. There''s a reason why most brides wear pearls...it''s very classic, timeless and understated. I dont know what your dress looks like but I would think Turquoise would draw attention away from you and your dress and onto your jewelry as it''s a very bold sort of stone. Mind you, if you love it, go for it. But I dont think it was that weird a comment...

 

[partyjewels]

lol, I had to laugh at this because my grandma is constantly saying these things that make you go.. wait, what?

Anywho, we''ve had people give us those kind of comments about our food choices... And it''s exactly why I''d rather not share any details that I don''t need to until the wedding because I hate hearing all their commentary. One of FI''s cousins asked about the wedding when we were at a family gathering a while back, and we started talking about the reception... first he told us that the restaurant we''re having it at is horrible, and then he told us that he''ll apparently just have to eat before he comes because he doesn''t like either of the choices we''re having for our buffet! I was shocked!! It wasn''t like we were still thinking these things over and asking for input, which even if we were, there are better ways to go about it! But this is a place we already have booked for our reception, food we have already 100% decided on, and we LOVE it there, as does most of our family members who have been there. I shouldn''t have been surprised though as it came out of the mouth of one of his cousins who, putting it nicely, is a spoiled little brat. I really wanted to tell him to not bother coming to the reception until dinner was over so I wouldn''t have to pay for him to sit there and complain about our food choices, but I kept it to myself.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/25/2008 1:30:24 PM
Author: surfgirl
I dont think that''s a weird comment. There''s a reason why most brides wear pearls...it''s very classic, timeless and understated. I dont know what your dress looks like but I would think Turquoise would draw attention away from you and your dress and onto your jewelry as it''s a very bold sort of stone. Mind you, if you love it, go for it. But I dont think it was that weird a comment...

I was going to wear the turqouise with my Rivini which is VERY simple, classic and understated. So I wanted statement jewelry. I''m selling the dress though, and have changed my wedding colors, so it won''t work.

Plus, I''m not a pearl girl which my mother knows. I love turqouise and COLOR, and of course, diamonds.

I told my mom I''d probably ask to borrow my aunt''s very unique 22K gold and citrine necklace or buy a Nadri set from Nordstroms if I don''t want to wear yellow gold.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/25/2008 1:34:38 PM
Author: partyjewels
lol, I had to laugh at this because my grandma is constantly saying these things that make you go.. wait, what?

Anywho, we''ve had people give us those kind of comments about our food choices... And it''s exactly why I''d rather not share any details that I don''t need to until the wedding because I hate hearing all their commentary. One of FI''s cousins asked about the wedding when we were at a family gathering a while back, and we started talking about the reception... first he told us that the restaurant we''re having it at is horrible, and then he told us that he''ll apparently just have to eat before he comes because he doesn''t like either of the choices we''re having for our buffet! I was shocked!! It wasn''t like we were still thinking these things over and asking for input, which even if we were, there are better ways to go about it! But this is a place we already have booked for our reception, food we have already 100% decided on, and we LOVE it there, as does most of our family members who have been there. I shouldn''t have been surprised though as it came out of the mouth of one of his cousins who, putting it nicely, is a spoiled little brat. I really wanted to tell him to not bother coming to the reception until dinner was over so I wouldn''t have to pay for him to sit there and complain about our food choices, but I kept it to myself.

OMG. How incredibly RUDE! I cannot believe that someone would say that to you.

. I''m impressed you kept you mouth shut. I can''t guarantee I would have.

 

[sumbride]

I think that jewelry sounds lovely and it''s a shame it won''t go with the new dress. I wore pearls with my dress because I like pearls, and I was born in June so they are my birth "stone", not because "brides wear pearls". I actually think I read somewhere that brides SHOULDN''T wear pearls because they represent tears and thus will bring sadness to your life. Or something like that. Maybe you can tell your mom that meaning so you can wear something else? Like diamonds?!?! or coral? or well, anything you want.

I heard a lot of these things while planning mine... "What do you mean it''s not a sit-down dinner? ALL WEDDINGS ARE SIT DOWN DINNERS!!!" Umm.... no, they aren''t. and my favorite "Rehearsal dinners should be FANCY." Ha. Ours was the opposite of fancy and was no less wonderful because of it.

DO WHAT YOU WANT!

 

[partyjewels]

lol, it wasn''t a time or place to really let him have it... so I just reminded myself of all the people who have said that it''s a great place with wonderful food and they can''t wait to come to our wedding!

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/25/2008 1:30:24 PM
Author: surfgirl
I dont think that''s a weird comment. There''s a reason why most brides wear pearls...it''s very classic, timeless and understated. I dont know what your dress looks like but I would think Turquoise would draw attention away from you and your dress and onto your jewelry as it''s a very bold sort of stone. Mind you, if you love it, go for it. But I dont think it was that weird a comment...

oooohhhh. Surfgirl, I usually agree with you, but this time I''m going to have to disagree. But only on the "you have to wear pearls" front. You don''t have to wear anything! I probably would have been taken aback by that comment. It reminds me of the instance when my aunt told me that I shouldn''t wear a white dress because I''m not a virgin. Oy.

Just wear what you want, sweetie. But be sure that it all goes together, that''s all...

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 1/25/2008 1:40:54 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/25/2008 1:34:38 PM

Author: partyjewels

lol, I had to laugh at this because my grandma is constantly saying these things that make you go.. wait, what?


Anywho, we've had people give us those kind of comments about our food choices... And it's exactly why I'd rather not share any details that I don't need to until the wedding because I hate hearing all their commentary. One of FI's cousins asked about the wedding when we were at a family gathering a while back, and we started talking about the reception... first he told us that the restaurant we're having it at is horrible, and then he told us that he'll apparently just have to eat before he comes because he doesn't like either of the choices we're having for our buffet! I was shocked!! It wasn't like we were still thinking these things over and asking for input, which even if we were, there are better ways to go about it! But this is a place we already have booked for our reception, food we have already 100% decided on, and we LOVE it there, as does most of our family members who have been there. I shouldn't have been surprised though as it came out of the mouth of one of his cousins who, putting it nicely, is a spoiled little brat. I really wanted to tell him to not bother coming to the reception until dinner was over so I wouldn't have to pay for him to sit there and complain about our food choices, but I kept it to myself.

OMG. How incredibly RUDE! I cannot believe that someone would say that to you.

. I'm impressed you kept you mouth shut. I can't guarantee I would have.

PartyJewels, I would be SOOOOO tempted to sneakily and snarkily slip in a few McDonald's gift certificates with that cousin's invitation...

 

[AceP]

said my snotty, old-school aunt about my white invitations with orange print and orange garland down the side:

(insert snarky, sing-songy voice) "wow, they were so... bright! i thought i might have to put on sunglasses!"

i gave up on pleasing everyone months ago. it''s simply impossible. my mom is mad i''m not wearing a veil. my grandmother can''t believe i''m not having a big, formal wedding in a hotel ballroom. they will forget all of the gripes, i''m convinced, once the day arrives. or maybe i''m being overly optimistic!

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 1/25/2008 2:10:41 PM
Author: tberube

Date: 1/25/2008 1:30:24 PM

Author: surfgirl

I dont think that''s a weird comment. There''s a reason why most brides wear pearls...it''s very classic, timeless and understated. I dont know what your dress looks like but I would think Turquoise would draw attention away from you and your dress and onto your jewelry as it''s a very bold sort of stone. Mind you, if you love it, go for it. But I dont think it was that weird a comment...

oooohhhh. Surfgirl, I usually agree with you, but this time I''m going to have to disagree. But only on the ''you have to wear pearls'' front. You don''t have to wear anything! I probably would have been taken aback by that comment. It reminds me of the instance when my aunt told me that I shouldn''t wear a white dress because I''m not a virgin. Oy.

Just wear what you want, sweetie. But be sure that it all goes together, that''s all...

rube, my point wasn''t that a bride cannot wear something unique or different, only that most brides DO wear pearls because they''re a timeless look, and therefore, I didn''t think the mother''s comment was so crazy at all.

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/25/2008 2:10:41 PM
Author: tberube

Date: 1/25/2008 1:30:24 PM

Author: surfgirl

I dont think that''s a weird comment. There''s a reason why most brides wear pearls...it''s very classic, timeless and understated. I dont know what your dress looks like but I would think Turquoise would draw attention away from you and your dress and onto your jewelry as it''s a very bold sort of stone. Mind you, if you love it, go for it. But I dont think it was that weird a comment...

oooohhhh. Surfgirl, I usually agree with you, but this time I''m going to have to disagree. But only on the ''you have to wear pearls'' front. You don''t have to wear anything! I probably would have been taken aback by that comment. It reminds me of the instance when my aunt told me that I shouldn''t wear a white dress because I''m not a virgin. Oy.

Just wear what you want, sweetie. But be sure that it all goes together, that''s all...

i can''t believe that your aunt said that to you rube

. People are shocking! To be honest, I haven''t had any particularly bad things said-I don''t think I''d let them get to me anyway. My wedding will be the way D and I want and that''s the main thing. If anyone doesn''t like things, then tough.

 

[Mandarine]

That is too funny!!

People are just something else. I''m wearing pearls, mainly because they were a gift from FI (earrings) and because my mom has a bracelet I love. Here are some of my "what?"

- Anyway...in Venezuela it is actually "BAD LUCK" to wear pearls on your weddign day!!!. I''m Venezuelan, but I don''t care. My mom was like "what!? you can''t wear pearls!!"

- Just like she couldn''t believe my BM''s are wearing black or that our invites had any black in them (although she did agree afterwards that they looked very elegant)

- Also, "Lemon" is not a proper choice for cake flavor!

- My sister thinks we should say our vows in Spanish (yes we both speak Spniash but we speask in English to each otehr since we met!). She thinks it would be more personal if we do them in Spanish...hello? it would so nto be us to do it in a different language than what we have used in our entire relationship.

- I''m getting ready with mom and sisters. FMIL thought it would be ok for me to split up my sisters and mom while getting ready, so that she would have someone to get ready with. Maybe she just didn''t think it through before she suggested it, but why woudl I tell my mom to go get erady somewhere else?

- One of my guests doesn''t have anyone special to bring to the wedding...so he rsvp''ed..."Louis Lane" was his partner...meaning, he really doesn''t have anyone special (not even a friend!) but wants to reserve a place to bring who knows who (I called him on it and now he''s coming along).

I could go on and on...lol

M~

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

People are so wierd about this stuff. In parts of China brides don''t wear pearls and they NEVER wear white, it''s the color of death!
People have really wierd hang ups about weddings. My FMIL about fainted when we anounced the following:
The maid of honor is a man of honor and my oldest, dearest friend (he is a drag preformer and he offer to come as woman just to keep my FMIL out of the wedding. So tempting...

)
We are having a justice of the peace and NO mention of religion. I don''t know why this bothers her as she is not religious in the slightest

I am trying to get a hold of a green dress with white trim because I don''t like white dresses

The ring bearer is a 22 year old hippie and his FI, one of my BMs, will be dyeing her hair to match the dress

The list goes on. I keep wanting to say to her, "if you don''t like it, have your own wedding and do it however you want". Sigh.

 

[Hera]

I think you shouldn''t worry about what other people believe you should do (even when they are so passionate) for your wedding. It''s your wedding so you should do what''s best for you. If it''s turquoise, then turquoise it shall be.

 

[Gemini85]

Here''s my WTF? moments:

My FMIL said that we can do whatever we want for our wedding as long as she gets to "approve" the date to make sure it''s not "a bad day" on the lunar calendar (all of July is a bad month). She got really mad when she found out it "might" be in July(lunar month)and blah blah blah...long sermon which meant NO. We had to wait until the lunar calendars for 2008 were out and I jumped for joy when I found out my day fell on August 1,2008(lunar)!!!!!

His parents made comments on how the food at the restaurant which we have already booked isn''t as good as it has been in previous years.

His sister said her daughter will be old enough to be the flower girl.

Ummm...no. I get to pick, and she will be a little older than 2. I didn''t say anything, as I am an angel and just smiled. Maybe it''ll be cute for some people, but I want my flower girl to be older (more like at least 4).

A good friend who''s already married asked why I waited so long to get married. Ummm...I''m 23!!! I told her to save up money. She says, "We spent less than $5000, it doesn''t cost too much for a wedding."

No way will I ever get close to that kind of budget with everything I want.

An older friend asks me if I plan to buy 1 carat. I said I want around 1.75. She goes, "oh that must be like $5000."

I am not buying frozen spit.

Ohhhh...I have a headache just thinking about everything. Everyone''s asking questions and is so excited...everyone except me.

 

[anchor31]

From my FI''s mother:
"You should charge for the reception, that way it''ll cost you less money." Erm, excuse me?
"It''s really rude not to invite your cousins, if your cousins aren''t invited, your aunts/uncles won''t come." Well, I''m sorry (not), but we don''t have money to pay for everyone (we have over 100 cousins!!!), and if they''re parents don''t come, I don''t care! (Not to mention that most of our cousns are adults?!)
"Well, if you charged for the reception, then you''d be able to invite everyone." Well, if we charged, they wouldn''t come anyway because it would be too expensive for them to make the trip!
"People do charge for their reception, you know." Right. Because your sister did it for her teenage son''s wedding doesn''t mean it''s acceptable.
"You should have as much peple there as you can, because having your families there will make yur marriage stronger." ... You don''t have a clue about what makes a marriage strong, don''t you?
And the latest:
"You rented TUXES?! But men wear suits at weddings! Does that mean the mothers need to wear the same dress?" Dot. Dot. Dot.

I had a few good ones from my family of course...
FI absolutely can''t see me (or my dress) before the wedding. (couldn''t care less)
I have to wear pearls. (obviously it must come from somewhere)
I can''t wear a dyed crinoline. (says who?)
BM''s can''t wear shorter dresses. (why the heck not?)
My dad has to give me away. (sorry, but the Canadian Catholic church tolerate, but doesn''t approve of this tradition. A bride is nobody''s property to be given away, and FI will meet me half-way down the aisle)
I have to have a communion at my Catholic ceremony. (it''s no longer required, and it''s for FI and I to decide)

They''re all imperatives people try to push on us because it''s their vision of a wedding... As far as I know, there is only one imperative at a wedding: the legal vows.

 

[Harleigh]

Gypsy, your jewelry sounds lovely! I wish I had someone to borrow beautiful jewelry from in my family, but there is none but my mom's left (she has my grandma's and won't give it to me, even though it was to come to me!), and she probably wouldn't lend me anything even if there was a piece I wanted to borrow in the first place, so, all I have to say is, O.M.G....where do I start?

Most of it's already been said, but suffice it to say, my mother apparently does not like anything I've planned...not one DAMN thing. She has not had one nice thing to say and continually mentions how inconvenient it is for us to be having our wedding in Maui. I have refrained, but I just want to say then don't go! What kind of mothers are these, I ask you???

I have tried very hard to calmly remind her that as we are doing everything by ourselves we can't afford to have all of Rusty's family at a wedding here locally, which is well over 300+ people, including none of my family or any of our friends, none of the guys at the fire dept. or my colleagus at school, etc...ugh!

She's also still in shock that hers and my dad's names aren't on the invitations as if they were providing this wedding for us and continues to comment about it, yet I refrain from snarky comment...for now!

Also, a few of my friends have made comments here and there that I can do without, but I just can't let myself care too much right now or I may just lose my mind! Arghhhh!

 

[julabean]

I think my favorite came from FI''s step-mother, who he is not very close to. She wanted to know why we wanted to have a nice wedding in Vegas when we could have just as nice of a wedding in their backyard with a tent for less than $1,000 because that''s the way her daughter did it. Uhm, they *broiled* a pig for dinner.

I wish I was kidding.

 

[door knob solitaire]

This is a funny thread! Feel bad that I am getting so much out of all of your anguish. But alot of it is really funny. Sorry.

Gyp...if you are a color girl...then splash it on baby! Shock and Awe campaign!

 

[gwendolyn]

Man, this is the kind of stuff that makes me hope I can talk J into eloping! The nerve of some people, oi vey!

 

[Pandora II]

My favourite so far:

Grandmother at Xmas:

GM: "I do hope you''re going to have your registry at House of Frazer"

Me: "Actually, no we''re registering at John Lewis."

GM: "But I get 10% off at House of Frazer."

Me: "Sorry, but John Lewis has more choice and the things we like."

Silence...

GM: "What are you putting on your registry"

Me: "Oh the usual, towels, sheets, kitchen stuff - oh and we''re looking for a nice plain white bone-china dinner service, but everything we''ve seen so far is either very expensive, too frilly or a bit old-fashioned looking."

GM: "Oh you don''t like these nasty modern shapes do you?"

Me: "Um, yes actually I do."

GM: "Well, anyway - it''s not up to you to choose what you want for a dinner service. You get what the person buying it for you chooses."

Me: Jaw hits floor...

 

[swimmer]

So, I''m trying to just laugh about this, but in an effort to include my FFIL in stuff, I had asked him to create a song file (he is a computer geek) in itunes for me to put on an ipod for the rehersal dinner background dinner music. I said something like "I like everything except experimental jazz and just want something like oldies, Beatles, What a Wonderful World..." He used to be in a band and has an extensive collection, but what was I thinking?

He played me his list, which he kept saying he had spent hours doing. It included:
Theme song from Rocky
Star Trek theme song (FI and I are NOT fans)
Peanuts Xmass album (we are Jews getting married in May)
Eye of the Tiger
and 90% of it was really 70s era jazz, not classy, think of the last time you were in an elevator.
and Ukranian wedding polka! (None of us are Ukranian)

I had thought that this was something that I just didn''t care about, and now I feel all petty, but I am so deleting Rocky!

Ah, at least FMIL is wonderful and we addressed most of the envelopes yesterday! woo hoo!
I hope everyone gets a laugh out of thinking of eating to this music...

 

[anchor31]

Some of those are absolutely hilarious!

The latest, from FI''s mother of course:
FMIL (talking to J): "You''ll have to learn to waltz, you know."
J (surprised): "What?"
FMIL (like it was obvious): "For your first dance."
J (confused): "What are you talking about?"
Me (catching on): "Our first dance isn''t a waltz."
FMIL (outraged): "But is has to be a waltz!"
J (shrugging his shoulder): "Well, we''re not waltzing."
FMIL (still outraged): "But a waltz is - "
J (exasperated): Mom, we''re not waltzing."

This woman needs to get out of I don''t know what century she''s in... My parents got married before she did and they didn''t waltz!

 

[Gypsy]

anchor honey. I admire your sense of humor. Your FMIL is a whole thread of her own. And your patience. Mine says random things too, but after over 8 years and now 2000 miles away I can completely ignore it all. Bless you!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think wearing pearls is actually an old Italian tradition. Young brides were gifted with pearls on their wedding day because they signified virginity.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/30/2008 2:08:58 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think wearing pearls is actually an old Italian tradition. Young brides were gifted with pearls on their wedding day because they signified virginity.

*Snort*

That ship has sailed.

But thank you for letting me know where it comes from. Now, I just have to figure out why my Persian mother is insisting on an Italian tradition. LOL.

 

[diamondfan]

Everyone will have an opinion, a superstition, etc, when you are engaged and getting married. It is supposed to be your day and be what you want, but no one who tells you that stuff seems to get it! Unfortunately there is not much you can do about people being that way. Even if you keep pretty mum about things, they feel free to offer their views endlessly. Just have to find a way to zone out about it.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I always thought the "story" was kindof ironic when you consider the other definition of a "pearl necklace". And yes, I''m talking about the "pearl necklace" that guys like to talk about. *shudder* so gross.