Where to have the wedding...

[ladypirate]

OK, so I know that I am posting another "what the heck do I do?" thread, but I''m new to all this wedding planning stuff.

To give a little bit of background, we live in Portland, OR and most of my friends are in the Pacific NW with a few scattered around the country. I am from Santa Barbara, CA and my parents and extended family live mostly in Southern California. FI is from a small town by Chico, CA and most of his family and friends live in Northern California (again with a few scattered around the country). We are trying to decide where to have our wedding.

Our options are as follows:

1. Have it in or near Portland.
Upsides:
-We live here, so planning would be simpler
-My sisters and potential bridesmaids all live here or closeby
-No sales tax
Downsides:
-Our families would both have to travel
-Absolutely no guarantee of good weather

2. Have it in Santa Barbara
Upsides
-We know a lot of people there and could get some really good deals on things like catering and photography
-My parents live there and have a large house so some people could stay with them
-My mom has helped her friends with their daughter''s weddings there, so she has some insider kno
-We''re guaranteed good weather
-I am familiar with the area and wouldn''t have too difficult a time planning
-That is where we met and started dating, so it''d be sentimental
Downsides
-Everyone and their mother gets married in Santa Barbara, so things book up fast
-Things are more expensive in California than they are here, which might offset the money we''d save through our contacts
-There was just a big fire that burned a lot of the area

3. Have it in Northern California somewhere (probably either San Francisco, Napa Valley, Santa Cruz Redwoods or Big Sur)
Upsides
-Close to FI''s family and friends
-Halfway in between us and my parents
-We both love Northern California
Downsides
-No one there to help us plan the wedding

4. Screw it--go have a destination wedding!
Upsides
-Simpler to plan
Downsides
-We couldn''t have all the people we care about there

 

[Sparkalicious]

I voted for Santa Barbara. Based on what you have written, it sounds, to me, as though that is the best of both worlds.

Coming in a close second would be Portland. Santa Barbara gets the edge b/c of the weather.

I think that once you get into the swing of planning that having an arsenal of resources, as you do within both of these places, will be a tremendous asset and extremely helpful with making the process smoother and much less stressful for you.

By the way - Congratulations LP!! I was thrilled at the news of your engagement! Welcome to BWW!!

 

[sunnyd]

I voted Portland. Mostly because of the sales tax and ease of looking at stuff locally. 0% vs 9.something% is killer on several thousand dollars!

Are you wanting an outdoor wedding? Those are really hard to pull off around here. Haha, it''s either raining or 90 degrees in my experience.

 

[brightlight]

...

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/3/2009 11:58:12 AM
Author: brightlight
When are you planning on getting married? The cons that you listed for California are major cons. With the two most recent huge fires, a lot of Santa Barbara is burned. Hotel rooms also sell out QUICKLY during the wedding/vacation season and are EXPENSIVE! Of the places you listed, which is the most significant to you and your fiance as a couple?

We''re planning on getting married next year, but we''re not sure exactly when. Probably either late spring or summer.

 

[brightlight]

Alright, so I just went back and re-read your post. No tax is a huge plus! From my experience, unexpected costs or higher than expected costs always pop up, so that tax money could be really helpful.

The biggest plus for Santa Barbara to me is that's where you and your fiance met. However, even if you were able to get discounts on vendors, I'm not sure it would really make a difference in cost vs. if you had your wedding in Portland since SB costs are already higher and there's sales tax.

Do you know if you want an outdoor wedding?

 

[Rock_of_Love]

I voted Northern Cali...there are so many great options. And, it is in between Portland & SB. Just have it at a winery and call it a day. I''m sure wineries have the wedding stuff all dialed in.

For me, SB is second because I love SB!! It is so beautiful. Great destination for yourself and your guests.

Portland I would ONLY do in August. I have a big issue with weather for my wedding, so I wouldn''t even risk it.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/3/2009 11:49:46 AM
Author: Sparkalicious
I voted for Santa Barbara. Based on what you have written, it sounds, to me, as though that is the best of both worlds.

Coming in a close second would be Portland. Santa Barbara gets the edge b/c of the weather.

I think that once you get into the swing of planning that having an arsenal of resources, as you do within both of these places, will be a tremendous asset and extremely helpful with making the process smoother and much less stressful for you.

By the way - Congratulations LP!! I was thrilled at the news of your engagement! Welcome to BWW!!

Thanks Sparkalicious! I''m excited to be here.

We are planning on doing an outdoor wedding, so Santa Barbara might be better for that. I wouldn''t mind if it rained, but I think some of our guests might!

The one upside that I didn''t mention of doing it in Northern California is that FI''s nearly 90 year old grandmother might be able to come. I''m not sure if she''ll be able to travel to either of the other two places, but on the other hand she might not be able to be there even if we did do it in Northern California unless we had it in Kris'' home town which neither of us are super thrilled about.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/3/2009 12:27:29 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
I voted Northern Cali...there are so many great options. And, it is in between Portland & SB. Just have it at a winery and call it a day. I''m sure wineries have the wedding stuff all dialed in.

For me, SB is second because I love SB!! It is so beautiful. Great destination for yourself and your guests.

Portland I would ONLY do in August. I have a big issue with weather for my wedding, so I wouldn''t even risk it.

That is definitely an option--we might be able to get a deal on a winery through a friend of Kris'' who works in the business in Napa. If we did it there (or anywhere in Northern California), though, EVERYONE would have to stay in a hotel. I don''t know that that is really feasible for everyone coming to the wedding.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/3/2009 11:55:45 AM
Author: sunnyd
I voted Portland. Mostly because of the sales tax and ease of looking at stuff locally. 0% vs 9.something% is killer on several thousand dollars!

Are you wanting an outdoor wedding? Those are really hard to pull off around here. Haha, it''s either raining or 90 degrees in my experience.

Hey Sunny!

We could still buy a fair amount of stuff up here (like the wedding dress, etc.), so even if we did it somewhere else, that''s not necessarily the deciding factor. And yes, we are thinking of an outdoor wedding, although it''s not set in stone.

Gah. It''s a lot more fun to daydream about weddings than to actually have to make decisions and plan them!

 

[Mayflower25]

ladypirate - what a coincidence! I''m located in Portland as well

I voted Portland. Here are my reasons:
- Portland summers are the best I have experienced in the country. Not too hot, little humidity. You''re very safe mid June - Mid September
- SALES TAX - FI and I initially wanted a destination wedding in Hawaii - Tack on the 8-9% sales tax AND 18-22% gratuity and you''re paying for a whole lot extra (for nothing)
- Opportunities to do something different - Portland hasn''t yet been "overdone" and I think out of town guests are suprised by how much this city has to offer. Half of our guests are coming from out of town, and the travel expenses in and around Portland are very reasonable.

This all depends on the vision you have for your wedding. Portland and the surrounding area has fantastic scenery. You can do something very urban downtown, or you can go very romantic and do a winery just outside the city.

Hope this helps!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 6/3/2009 12:36:03 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/3/2009 11:55:45 AM
Author: sunnyd
I voted Portland. Mostly because of the sales tax and ease of looking at stuff locally. 0% vs 9.something% is killer on several thousand dollars!

Are you wanting an outdoor wedding? Those are really hard to pull off around here. Haha, it''s either raining or 90 degrees in my experience.

Hey Sunny!

We could still buy a fair amount of stuff up here (like the wedding dress, etc.), so even if we did it somewhere else, that''s not necessarily the deciding factor. And yes, we are thinking of an outdoor wedding, although it''s not set in stone.

Gah. It''s a lot more fun to daydream about weddings than to actually have to make decisions and plan them!

LOL, no kidding!

In light of new info, I vote out NorCal because of the hotel situation. That might really limit your guest list...unless that''s what you want!

Outdoor wedding, maybe SB would be best. This is a really strange June we''re having this year, definitely not typical!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/3/2009 12:37:00 PM
Author: Mayflower25
ladypirate - what a coincidence! I''m located in Portland as well

I voted Portland. Here are my reasons:
- Portland summers are the best I have experienced in the country. Not too hot, little humidity. You''re very safe mid June - Mid September
- SALES TAX - FI and I initially wanted a destination wedding in Hawaii - Tack on the 8-9% sales tax AND 18-22% gratuity and you''re paying for a whole lot extra (for nothing)
- Opportunities to do something different - Portland hasn''t yet been ''overdone'' and I think out of town guests are suprised by how much this city has to offer. Half of our guests are coming from out of town, and the travel expenses in and around Portland are very reasonable.

This all depends on the vision you have for your wedding. Portland and the surrounding area has fantastic scenery. You can do something very urban downtown, or you can go very romantic and do a winery just outside the city.

Hope this helps!

Mayflower, how long have you lived in Portland? We love it up here.

I have to disagree about guaranteed nice weather in the summer, though--it always rains on the 4th of July and we get some crazy heat in August/September.

Thanks for the ideas.

 

[Mayflower25]

I''ve lived here on the west side for 16 years. And before that, in Vancouver, BC. FI is from the NE and is still adjusting to our "hippie" city, haha. I just can''t get away from the NW! How long have you been in Portland?

In the case of an outdoor wedding, most venues will require you to reserve a tent just in case. But I would ALWAYS do a tent for an outdoor wedding, especially for guests that do not wish to stand directly in the sun/heat. Also, I''d recommend that you look for venues that have a good indoor/outdoor function space so that guests can move about as needed.

 

[brightlight]

Date: 6/3/2009 12:33:55 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/3/2009 12:27:29 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
I voted Northern Cali...there are so many great options. And, it is in between Portland & SB. Just have it at a winery and call it a day. I''m sure wineries have the wedding stuff all dialed in.

For me, SB is second because I love SB!! It is so beautiful. Great destination for yourself and your guests.

Portland I would ONLY do in August. I have a big issue with weather for my wedding, so I wouldn''t even risk it.

That is definitely an option--we might be able to get a deal on a winery through a friend of Kris'' who works in the business in Napa. If we did it there (or anywhere in Northern California), though, EVERYONE would have to stay in a hotel. I don''t know that that is really feasible for everyone coming to the wedding.

I don''t know if that should really factor into your decision if you''re deciding between Napa and SB. It seems hotel rooms would be an issue for guests b/c of costs and/or availability in both Napa AND SB.

 

[luckystar112]

I picked "screw it...have a destination wedding" because that''s what we did.

We live in Houston, but his family lives in Virginia (and allllll across the country) and my family lives in Maine. I didn''t want to have it here (too hot, plus Houston isn''t exactly a tourist hot spot) so we were originally going to have it in Virginia.
It turned out to be too much of a PITA trying to plan from far away. Relying on other people to get things done for us was a HUGE headache. I remember I felt like a huge b!tch everytime I had to get DH to find out why his parents hadn''t done something yet.....like measure the area where we wanted to put a tent so we could rent one before they were all gone. It was extremely stressful and frustrating. So we eventually said screw it and had a destination wedding, and I''m glad we did.

 

[cocolaw]

ladypirate: please let me know if you decide to go with big sur. i am planning a big sur wedding from new york and have found some excellent people to do the cake, catering, rentals, flowers, hair/makeup (and most of them work together on weddings and they make the planning VERY easy).

 

[FrekeChild]

Portland. Yup.

 

[Gypsy]

I can help you in Nor Cal honey.

Happy to. BUT..what's your budget, and for how mnay people, what do you want, and what month/day did you have in mind.

Portland would be my choice for you though. NO SALES TAX!

 

[princessplease]

I voted Portland because of the no sales tax. If money is going to be important in your planning, I''d definitely go tax free. FI and I are having a rather cheap wedding, and are paying $2000 in tax and gratuity on the reception hall. I''d love the chance to cut some of that off. FI and I joked about getting married in DE to save tax, lol!
If money isn''t going to be a major issue, then I''d definitely so Santa Barbara.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I'm saying N. Cal. because, FOR ME, the most important "plus" is having everyone in attendance that is important to you, and making it somewhat easy on them to attend. I'm sure many will disagree with me on this one, but its just how I feel, I guess.

FI & I live in Colorado and will marry in Ohio (close to my immediate family and his Western PA family). Cleveland is ugly and dirty and I don't particularly like the city- especially during the wintertime. BUT... A super convenient and *gorgeous* mountain top wedding without my dearest loved ones would be even worse.

Re: Portland- your family would have to travel. It is definitely burdensome, but also do-able. Is there any family that simply wouldn't be able to make it if travel was required? Or will you still have a solid showing from your "nearest and dearest" relatives? If nearly everyone *could* travel, then maybe Portland would work & you could help cover some travel expenses with the money you'll save from no taxes.

This is getting to be too long- but I just want to say- planning an OOTown/State wedding isn't really a burden... Even if you can only travel to the city once. Just do research online, read lots of reviews, and make lots of phone calls to see what vendors are willing to book/plan over phone and e-mail. 98% of my wedding has been planned long distance. It honestly isn't as big of a headache as I imagined it would be.

 

[MonkeyPants]

I''m in the same boat right now LP!! I didn''t know you''re on the west coast! I''m in San Francisco, and having it here would break our bank. Tax is almost 10%...booo. I voted destination wedding but that''s because I don''t want my wedding to be a circus and DF and I have a TON of family and he has a lot of friends...I also like the Portland option!

 

[Dannielle]

I voted destination wedding.. just because thats what I would love to do

Sounds like you have alot of great options!

 

[neatfreak]

I am biased b/c we got married there-but San Francisco for sure!!!

 

[katamari]

What feels like home to you? Are you and your FI going to stay in Portland? I would prefer to marry where I felt most at home to make it completely comfortable.

 

[pinkstars]

I voted for SB, I think it''s just so gorgeous there. Everything would look wonderful!

 

[ladypirate]

OK, so we''ve talked and talked and talked about it and I think that the final verdict is to have it in Portland. We can pretty much be guaranteed nice weather in July and I think I will be happier and less stressed planning a wedding where we live.

We started making appointments to go see reception sites next week, so planning ho!

 

[ilovesparkles]

That''s exciting LP! I read through the whole thread and was still stumped and couldn''t come up with an answer! I was leaning towards Portland due to cost and ease of planning, and then I would lean towards N.Cali so more family could come. I think Portland is going to be wonderful because like someone else said, its not overdone!