Who buys?

[G)-(OST]

I have been trying to come up with the money to buy the ring for my girlfriend whom I have dated for 9 years, but I can not afford it and her uncle has offered to pay for it. I am not sure to take him up on this offer as I believe it is my duty to buy the ring.
So my question is.. Should I take her uncle up on this offer?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well, if you think it's your duty to pay for the ring, sounds like you've answered your own question!

If you're even thinking that her uncle's offer may be okay, possibly working out a repayment plan may solve your eithical issues

Michelle

 

[PlatinumDiamond]

I agree with Michelle's statement. A re-payment plan would be a nice idea if one could be arranged.

 

[sumi]

Personally, I would feel a little funny wearing a ring that my uncle paid for. Part of what I LOVE about my e-ring is knowing that my husband worked very hard and probably denied himself some things that he wanted in order to save up for my ring. I often think about his sacrifice for me when I look at the ring.

I think borrowing the money and working out a repayment plan is great though. My advice: Be sure to stay somewhat within your means.

 

[G)-(OST]

Ok that sounds like a good idea.
Now how about ideas low budget.

I normally wouldnt be so cheap, but I was recently laid off from my job, and we need to be married before June.
We are expecting and I feel it is only right to be married before the baby comes. As we have been together for 9 years, its about time anyway.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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On 2/11/2004 5:58:15 PM G)-(OST wrote:

Ok that sounds like a good idea.
Now how about ideas low budget.

I normally wouldnt be so cheap, but I was recently laid off from my job, and we need to be married before June.
We are expecting and I feel it is only right to be married before the baby comes. As we have been together for 9 years, its about time anyway.----------------

Trust me on this one: SAVE your money for the baby because you'll need it. Babies are far more expensive than you can imagine!

In your shoes, I'd just buy your future wife a nice wedding band and then you two can focus on getting a diamond later after you find another job. Don't stress yourself out about it now because as a future dad you HAVE TO look at priorities and a diamond isn't a priority!


Michelle

 

[sumi]

You definitely don't need an engagement ring to get married. I agree with MC, why don't you splurge a little on a nice wedding band?

My sister got married without ever having an e-ring. My brother in law was a grad student when they got married, and they couldn't afford an e-ring at the time. Six years later, they have a fabulous house, nice cars, two adorable children, but no e-ring. My sister decided that it just wasn't a priority for her. She'd much rather use that money now for her kids.

Congrats on the baby!

 

[valeria101]

I hope your post does not read: " I am not proposing to her 'cause I can't get the ring ". This would be the silliest piece that crossed my way. There are quite a few people here who got their rings later in life... if they so choose. I hope that uncle will be willing to help with more important things too - and ANYTHING is more important than a trinket!

 

[Patty]

I like the idea of just getting her a nice wedding band. The baby will need a lot of things and without a job, I would not spend money on a luxury item like an engagement ring. As wonderful as babies are, they add a lot of stress to your life and often the stress is money related.

As for the uncle, I'd need to know more. Why is he offering this? Does he just want to help you two out in general? Is he a father figure to your girlfriend? I'd feel funny about him buying her something as personal as an engagement ring, but maybe he'd like to start a trust fund for the baby?

 

[Hest88]

You don't need an e-ring to get married. I, too, can't understand why women say they're "unofficially" engaged just because they don't have a rock.

Under the circumstances, save your money, get wedding bands, and on your 5th or 10th anniversary get her a nice diamond. I think the impending baby is gift enough.

 

[Kamuelamom]

Wise words spoken by many of the ladies here. If I may add, I am one of those who got married with a simple gold band. It was plenty meaningful for me. I finally got my wedding set last year, after 12 1/2 years of marriage and 3 children. Trust me, the wait will be worth it, and if your lady is in sync with you on this, then you know she is marrying you for all the right reasons.

 

[mike04456]

Save your cash. Babies are money magnets. You have no idea how much until they come along. I agree with the others--get the band and upgrade later.

 

[Mara]

Get her something like an eternity band..with diamonds. That is a wedding ring and it is plenty bling-bling all on it's own. SignedPieces.Com has some GREAT beautiful wedding bands for REALLY reasonable pricing (click on Facets Diamonds) and scroll through towards the end where most of their wedding rings are.




Something like 1ctw 2mm diamond eternity band for around $1500. Not bad at all and I have an eternity ring and it's seriously blinding in terms of sparkle.

If I had limited funds I would go eternity band all the way and then later in life if you want, you can get her a diamond for an anniversary.




Or you can do something like my what my Mom has...she isn't huge into diamonds and has smaller hands, maybe her ring finger is around size 5. Anyway, she has a 5 stone 1ctw ring which is a wedding/anniversary band..she never had a solitaire or anything. You can probably pick one up for around $1500 or so as well, online possibly. This thing gets tons of compliments from people all the time, they love it and it sparkles like MAD!

 

[Nicrez]

My Opinion is to be the most cost effective at this point, you can get her a lovely white or yellow gold band, perhaps with some engraving or etching on it to make it sparkle.

It's about the THREE of you now, and the one who will need the most is your baby. Your wife-to-be will be happy knowing you did the honroable thing to propose before the baby is born, you'll love her and cherish her, and that is well worth more than and sparkle on her finger.

If you REALLY want something sparkly, you can try your local (believe it or not) Walmart!

I don't know what budget you have and so $1,000 can be WAY over what you have to spend, as you said you are unemployed and have not been able to save. I would spend no more than $500 then. If you can afford more, OK, but get a nice wedding band with some diamonds, and later on, if it's important enough, you can save up and get that when you are working and better suited! Good luck and Bless you both and the new baby!!!

 

[Rand_alThor]

IMHO; I say take whenever/wherever you think the moment is right; get down on one knee and ask her without a ring. Asking someone to marry you does not mean you "need" to have a ring. The ring is symbolic. However if you can replace that symbol with something else that costs very little or nothing then I suggest that you do that instead. When your financial situation improves, then you can always make up for it by saving and buying her a ring later. She loves you and will absol




In my book, the whole uncle bit is an absolute "NO NO".




Babies & Marriages cost money. I commend you though. You have to think in terms of medical insurance for the wife/baby, rent/mortgage payments/car payments/ credit card bills/ feeding the baby/ paying for the wedding while trying to find a job. That is no easy feat to pull off.




Good Luck Buddy!

 

[bling]

I also agree that a nice wedding band will do the trick perfecly! maybe even a small 5 stone if an eternity band is too much. There are so many options, but in the end, its what makes you both happy. Have you asked her opinion on it? And just as another thought/idea, how about a nice diamond sim until you can replace with a real one one day? Good luck and im sure shell love whatever you choose!

 

[sumi]

Babies are much more expensive than you'd think! I don't have any children, but my sister has two little ones. When both babies in diapers, she was spending close to $200/month on diapers, wipes, and ointments alone. I just thought it was funny that it cost so much just for them to go potty!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
Babies & Marriages cost money. I commend you though. You have to think in terms of medical insurance for the wife/baby, rent/mortgage payments/car payments/ credit card bills/ feeding the baby/ paying for the wedding while trying to find a job. That is no easy feat to pull off.


Good Luck Buddy!


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Yes, medical insurance will eat you alive! Wait until after the baby is born to consider ANY diamond band. . .even a $1500 one if your girlfriend doesn't have 100% medical coverage for the birth because births can be very pricey!

Michelle

 

[winyan]

If you feel you must buy her an engagement ring, there's always CZ, with a promise to replace it when times are better.

win

 

[hoorray]

I'd suggest just making a very sentimental and romantic proposal without a ring, and then making the wedding bands also very sentimental -- even if completly simple. There will be plenty of time for baubles down the road. Romance doesn't require diamonds (i know -- slap my hand!

).