who pays for the wedding bands?

[Ladyoflovers]

we have started shopping for wedding bands and I have no idea who pays for them. According to my FI, I should pay for mine. But I''m not very familiar to customs and traditions in USA, so i don''t know whether he is saying that because it is convenient for him or is that the truth? In my country, the groom pays for wedding gown, wedding bands and all the costs of the wedding ceremony and party.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''m not sure of what the tradition is but my FI paid for my engagement ring and wedding band. Since he paid for those, I thought the least I could do was to pay for his wedding band. I''m sure he''d contribute if I wanted or needed him to, but I insisted on doing this on my own.

 

[MustangFan]

I believe it''s a nice gesture for you to buy his, and he to buy yours

 

[decodelighted]

Well traditional vows say something along the lines of "I *GIVE* you this ring" ... it''s hard for him to GIVE you something you paid for.

However, I *think* that after a bunch of shopping together that I handeled the order of & ended up paying for mine & he handled the order of & ended up paying for his (because his was easier to order - HA!) They were about the same price & it''s all "our" $$ now so I didn''t think anything of it really. Just, as you mentioned your fiance might think, convienent!

 

[ephemery1]

We never even thought twice about who would pay for what... we've been together long enough (and I've been an income-less student for half that time) that we found the "what's mine is yours" policy with money works best for us. So we picked out the rings together, they went on DH's debit card, and that was that!

 

[blushingbride]

In addition to the money both set of parents gave us, we''ve been trying to save throughout the year and have our own account just for the wedding. We just pulled money from that to pay for the bands so, technically the rings were paid for by both of us.

 

[akw94]

We got his and my ring from the same place and are splitting the total cost.

 

[Ladyoflovers]

Thanks, guys. The reality is my band will cost more than his, so in his mind, i should pay for mine. But my FI is a little sensitive on money issues, that''s why I''d rather keep the majority of my income at my personal account and contribute a small percentage of it to our joint account. But I didn''t want him to get advantage of me simply because i''m not American and have no info related to American traditions.

 

[beachbound]

In my past experiences, I always thought the "traditional" way was for the bride to pay for the groom''s band, and vice versa. I was always told that wedding rings are gifts to each other on their wedding day. There''s no set "right" or "wrong" way to decide. Many people I know did things differently because of how their finances were/would be set up and it didn''t matter. That''s my two cents anyway!

 

[oshinbreez]

The bride pays for the grooms ring. The groom pays for the brides. Here is a site for who pays for what. Who pays

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/15/2007 12:04:39 PM
Author: Ladyoflovers
The reality is my band will cost more than his, so in his mind, i should pay for mine. But my FI is a little sensitive on money issues, that''s why I''d rather keep the majority of my income at my personal account and contribute a small percentage of it to our joint account. But I didn''t want him to get advantage of me simply because i''m not American and have no info related to American traditions.

You are *marrying* this guy, right?? Yet you wonder if he''s "taking advantage of you"? Or worried that he might get his sticky fingers on "the majority of your income"?

Whoa! Maybe I''m missing something -- but, if you don''t TRUST this guy ... why make him your LIFE PARTNER???

 

[janinegirly]

tradition says he pays for your ring and you pay for his. But tradition is outdated and people usually just pick and choose the ones that work for them.

FI and i haven''t discussed but the way i look at it, he paid for my lovely e-ring, and the wedding is a joint thing. so we are splitting the costs of the wedding rings (b/c mine will be 2x the price of his) and also splitting costs of honeymoon. no real discussion came about, it just seemed logical..

 

[enbcfsobe]

Date: 6/15/2007 12:09:57 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 6/15/2007 12:04:39 PM
Author: Ladyoflovers
The reality is my band will cost more than his, so in his mind, i should pay for mine. But my FI is a little sensitive on money issues, that''s why I''d rather keep the majority of my income at my personal account and contribute a small percentage of it to our joint account. But I didn''t want him to get advantage of me simply because i''m not American and have no info related to American traditions.

You are *marrying* this guy, right?? Yet you wonder if he''s ''taking advantage of you''? Or worried that he might get his sticky fingers on ''the majority of your income''?

Whoa! Maybe I''m missing something -- but, if you don''t TRUST this guy ... why make him your LIFE PARTNER???

ditto. this seemed a little off to me as well.
most folks I know either split the total cost or bought them for each other. i agree with MF that its a nice gesture to buy them for each other. not being ok with the "inequality" of ring prices sounds an awful lot like a spoiled sibling who can''t stand when the other gets more ice cream. maybe something is getting lost in translation, though.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 6/15/2007 12:09:57 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 6/15/2007 12:04:39 PM

Author: Ladyoflovers

The reality is my band will cost more than his, so in his mind, i should pay for mine. But my FI is a little sensitive on money issues, that's why I'd rather keep the majority of my income at my personal account and contribute a small percentage of it to our joint account. But I didn't want him to get advantage of me simply because i'm not American and have no info related to American traditions.

You are *marrying* this guy, right?? Yet you wonder if he's 'taking advantage of you'? Or worried that he might get his sticky fingers on 'the majority of your income'?


Whoa! Maybe I'm missing something -- but, if you don't TRUST this guy ... why make him your LIFE PARTNER???

Seriously! I ditto deco's entire post. You dont trust him with your money. He's too cheap to buy your wedding band? You dont want him to know how much money you have. You dont want him to take advantage of you. Pardon me if this is very off topic but this doesn't sound like a healthy, mature relationship. Why are you marrying such a person?

Oh, and yes, as far as American tradition goes, you buy his ring and he buys yours. The groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and the bride's family pays for everything else: bride's dress, invitations, wedding, etc. etc.

 

[Ladyoflovers]

hi! sorry guys, i was out for a while. well, i met him today at the jewellery store and he bought my wedding band!! and he even didn''t argue on that, to my surprise!

I didn''t want to cause any confusion on you about my relationship with him; i truely trust on him on everything, but about money matters, he likes to be in control and he would rather have married a rich girl and him to be a stay home dad and to retire right now. This is some sort of a joke between us but he would have no complaints if i had told him he could stay home and just take care of the kids and that i''d make the living. He is just such a man. That''s why whenever I want him to pay for something, I just tell him; otherwise expecting him to do that doesn''t result very well.

Well, my band will be ready by the end of July, a Ritani endless love band!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 6/15/2007 12:04:39 PM
Author: Ladyoflovers
Thanks, guys. The reality is my band will cost more than his, so in his mind, i should pay for mine. But my FI is a little sensitive on money issues, that''s why I''d rather keep the majority of my income at my personal account and contribute a small percentage of it to our joint account. But I didn''t want him to get advantage of me simply because i''m not American and have no info related to American traditions.

If you think your FI might "take advantage of you", I''d worry about more than who is going to pay for the bands!

 

[climb2cloud9]

My fiancee paid for my lovely engagement ring and I bought our wedding bands. We are splitting the cost of the wedding and honeymoon 50/50. Crossing fingers that we get some money as a gift from my Dad though!!