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Why Does He Wait?

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Sunshinegirl77

Rough_Rock
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May 7, 2009
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Just a curious thought. Why does he wait after he has possesion of the ring? I know my ring is in the house. I found it while cleaning. For those that knew it was there and were made to wait, what was the reason? I would love to hear the stories on why other guys waited, and maybe it will help me to understand why.
 
Great thread, I''m curious too! I hear about bfs who have the ring for like 6 months and I''ve wondered what they''re waiting for. A special trip or holiday I know is one reason why some people wait, but other than that....it seems odd?
 
Probably the same reason as why a dog licks his b*lls. Because he can.

Sorry. I''m so uncouth.

I have no idea why guys do that. Perhaps because they''re really have no idea how they want to propose. My SO is wiring the money for my ring to GOG today so I know it''ll be here by early next week. He told me he honestly has ZERO good ideas for a proposal. ZERO. And I shouldn''t expect the ring until he comes up with something original. So I may very well be in the same camp with you.

I know there are a few gals who waited for awhile. Bia is one of them. Maybe she knows why her FI waited and she''ll chime in.
 
NO idea.

FI waited 2 days.
 
Date: 6/18/2009 11:50:04 AM
Author: Travel Goddess
Probably the same reason as why a dog licks his b*lls. Because he can.

Sorry. I''m so uncouth.

I have no idea why guys do that. Perhaps because they''re really have no idea how they want to propose. My SO is wiring the money for my ring to GOG today so I know it''ll be here by early next week. He told me he honestly has ZERO good ideas for a proposal. ZERO. And I shouldn''t expect the ring until he comes up with something original. So I may very well be in the same camp with you.

I know there are a few gals who waited for awhile. Bia is one of them. Maybe she knows why her FI waited and she''ll chime in.
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LOL.
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My brother has already purchased the diamond and now we''re looking at settings for his lovely future FI but he keeps telling me that the proposal won''t be for a year! Can you believe that!! I''m hoping he''ll surprise her sooner than that...but I have no idea when it comes to him. I have spoken to her already (without telling her and it''s starting to KILL me!) and she doesn''t expect one until my FI and I get married which won''t be until Sept 2010 and I honestly don''t know if I could hold it in that long...
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But don''t worry, I''m not going to ruin it for her. I''ll just have to work on him....

Anywho, he says that he doesn''t want to take the attention from me and my FI since we just got engaged last month. (I for one, would love it if they were engaged too so I could have someone to go through everything with...). I think my little brother, though he''s sure he wants to be with her for the rest of his life (they''ve been dating for 8 years now) is slow to act. He probably has some ideas as to how he wants to propose and the ring could be done in the next two months, but he won''t propose until he''s well and ready. I think most guys are like that. That, or they are making sure the proposal is totally unexpected and it better be good!
 
As for me and M, we''re in a LDR and he proposed to me on the following trip he came down to see me. He had the diamond in March, the completed ring some time in April, and popped the question end of April beginning of May for my bday. And I couldn''t be happier!
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Often they want to plan the "perfect" proposal. So they have to wait long enough to make complex plans involving helicopters, doves, and trained baby animals, then realise it''s never going to happen, try again, fail, get fed up, realise there''s no such thing as a perfect proposal, and then just give her the darn thing.

In seriousness, "well-intentioned" reasons seem to be wanting to make it special/a surprise, being a perfectionist, and being a bit scared by the finality of it. Not-so-good intentioned reasons include not really being ready/having second thoughts, and enjoying exerting power. Hopefully most men fall into the first category.
 
No clue why a guy would want to or be able to wait that long. I definitely hate even getting a gift for someone and having to wait to give it to them! Luckily FF is the same way, he said he didn''t want to get the ring till right before he was going to ask, cause he knows once he gets it, he won''t be able to hold on to it for very long. Problem being, he doesn''t have it yet
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Date: 6/18/2009 12:15:22 PM
Author: LilyKat
Often they want to plan the ''perfect'' proposal. So they have to wait long enough to make complex plans involving helicopters, doves, and trained baby animals, then realise it''s never going to happen, try again, fail, get fed up, realise there''s no such thing as a perfect proposal, and then just give her the darn thing.

In seriousness, ''well-intentioned'' reasons seem to be wanting to make it special/a surprise, being a perfectionist, and being a bit scared by the finality of it. Not-so-good intentioned reasons include not really being ready/having second thoughts, and enjoying exerting power. Hopefully most men fall into the first category.
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Ugh. Those stories make me sick. Like the ones where the girl is super antsy, lets the guy know, and the guys says "OH YEAH? Well I was going to propose but YOU RUINED IT!"

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DO NOT like those guys.
 
My guy has been holding out for a while now but I know he falls into the "well-intentioned" category. He bought the ring on Valentine''s Day of this year and has had it ever since. I know the reason he didn''t want to do it the last few months is because of some sad situations on his side of the family (grandma passed away, dad got diagnosed with Parkinson''s Disease) and we both felt that it just didn''t seem to be the time to interject with our engagement. He''s definitely not the type to hold out because he can and he has told me that he wants to make it special but has no idea how to do it. I told him I don''t care how he does it, I just want us to be engaged! It''s been harder on me now especially because 3 of my girlfriends got engaged in the last 2 months!
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I do have a feeling it will be happening very soon (I told him it better be soon, otherwise he runs the risk of me saying no!
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)
 
My husband used a family ring. After he retrieved it from his parents, he had to find the time to go to an appraiser, and then get an insurance rider to cover the ring. (All without my finding out).

Then, he wanted to surprise me. We''d been talking a lot about marriage and engagement, so he waited a little longer to make it more of a surprise. But I don''t think he had the ring in his possession for more than a month before he proposed!
 
sweetie I SO know what you mean! My ring is in our home as well, and has been for 2 1/2 months (but who''s counting?
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) In reality, 2 months isnt that bad, cause i have asked the question (how long did it take) too, and some girls said 4 months, 6 months, A YEAR!! from when he had the ring until when he proposed.

I told him if he doesnt do it soon I am taking the ring out of the box, putting it on my finger, and telling everyone we''re engaged! LOL j/k

I guess he is just figuring out when/how to propose. He is remodeling our kitchen right now, so I''m sure thats taking his focus.
 
I guess I am just scared that he falls into the "second" group of not REALLY being ready or having second thoughts. Unfortunately I have had a rough go with previous relationships and letting my fears come through. As far as he knows, I am not supposed to know the ring is here or has even been ordered.
 
you know. I''d just say, OMG what an IDIOT.... then make up a story about a girl who knows a guy who... you know...
and say, omg I just read a story on the internet... or whatever... about a guy who proposed to his girl and she said NO. The idiot waited longer than the return date on the ring, and he is stuck with it. i mean, seriously, why would he have waited? If you bought a ring, you''re already in it already... so why wait... I mean was he afraid she wouldn''t like it? what if it didn''t fit. Wow... that was soo not smooth. Then say... I''m so glad that we''re going to go ring shopping together -- blah blah blah... so he doesn''t think you''ve found the ring... and then ask to when you two can go shopping, and basically pick out a setting and diamond that he already picked out... if you like it... or don''t.. and have fun.

I mean he already has the ring... so what have you got to lose? Either way... you should get some answers. Best wishes!
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My boyfriend has had the ring for six months and I do think that he falls into the well-intentioned category. He is planning a proposal, and he is trying to do it at a time that makes sense for us. I''m in the process of finding a job and it can be a bit stressful, so I think he''s waiting until I feel stable and confident again. We''re both in grad school, so I''ve been able to keep my mind off of it by getting straight A''s and kickin'' butt in class ;)
 
Because they want to drive us nuts!

Ok, not really, but it does have that effect. I do agree with others that he is probably waiting for that "perfect" time. If they would only realize that in most cases, the sooner, the MORE perfect in our eyes!
 
My BF purchased the ring in Feb this year and it''s still hidden in our bedroom. I don''t expect him to propose till atleast October this year.

He has a couple of reasons, which I totally agree with. He got the ring soon after moving from the other side of the world to live with me, but, due to the economy here taking a nose dive soon before his arival, he has only just found work, much much later then either of us expected him to.

Also, while he was surching for work (an me attending University full time) we decided to stay at my parents house untill he had a job and we could afford to move out, which will be as soon as we find a suitable place.

I don''t think it has been the best time this past few months to make this comitment when he was unemployed and living in my parents house, it dosn''t really say "we can make it on our own and I can look after you", more "I''m unemployed and living off the gerorosity of others and look at this extravagant purchase!".

I also wanted some time to get used to living with him and have the affirmation for myself that this was good and would work (we have lived together on a temporary basis for afew months prevously but this time it''s perminant.)

He has hinted that he is waiting for a special significant date to pop the question so that could be my Birthday in October, the first time we met, in November or he could be saying this to throw me off the track and it could be any time now.

I don''t mind really. While it''s a little anoying having the ring hidden in my room to torture me with it''s awsomeness, I know bf and I will spend the rest of our lives loving one another so I''m in no really hurry to get engaged and married and make it official. It will happen eventually, and that''s enough for me for now.
 
Dunno...although if I found a ring while cleaning the "why does he wait" question wouldn''t even cross my mind. I would be more like "HOLY SHNIKEYS PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY CUPCAKES, HE BOUGHT A RING!!!!!" But I guess thats just me!
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To give us time to leave them.
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That''s all I''ve got!
 
So I just threw that question out there to my FF and both he and my brother said "nervousness" right off the bat (which, in my opinion, is a really cute reason!)- I''m sure it''s a step by step process of bravery, you know? It takes some cajones to buy a ring in the first place, and then to work up the courage to ask!

also, "waiting for the right time, and saving up for the proposal" I never would have thought about him having to save up for the proposal after dropping so much money on a ring.

I had a friend whose proposal came a while after her (then) boyfriend got the ring, and it was because he was trying to find a good time to ask her parent''s permission for the proposal before he asked her (too cute!)
 
I really wish I knew the answer. My FF has had the ring since 6/26/08. Doesn''t make any sense to me. I certainly hope you don''t have to wait this long!
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I''m sure I won''t be able to wait once I am finally in possession of the ring, but I think while some of the possible explanations given (power) are valid, there are some reasons that perhaps give more credit to the guy.

Many guys have been exposed to such unrealistic romanticized proposals, that they may not have the sense to know that the proposal is so immediately insignificant to what it signifies. I have a place I really want to do my proposal, but its half way across the country, and if the ring isn''t in place by then, I''m fine with doing a plan B, because ultimately its almost irrelevant.
 
[/quote]
Many guys have been exposed to such unrealistic romanticized proposals, that they may not have the sense to know that the proposal is so immediately insignificant to what it signifies. I have a place I really want to do my proposal, but its half way across the country, and if the ring isn't in place by then, I'm fine with doing a plan B, because ultimately its almost irrelevant. [/quote]


Totally agree with this, NeonPeon.

Can you run some male education lessons?
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My BFF had to wait about a year. The biggest reason? He was having second thoughts. They had problems, and he kept waffling internally about the whole thing.
 
Date: 6/18/2009 7:48:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
To give us time to leave them.
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That''s all I''ve got!
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Trill - your posts crack me up. And that''s all *I''ve* got.
 
Haha, trillionaire! Love the answer
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Date: 6/19/2009 1:43:05 AM
Author: lisamarie84
I really wish I knew the answer. My FF has had the ring since 6/26/08. Doesn''t make any sense to me. I certainly hope you don''t have to wait this long!
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oh my goodness! I really hope he has a good reason. Your certainly have waited long enough!
 
Date: 6/20/2009 2:01:38 PM
Author: Bjedifish
Date: 6/19/2009 1:43:05 AM

Author: lisamarie84

I really wish I knew the answer. My FF has had the ring since 6/26/08. Doesn''t make any sense to me. I certainly hope you don''t have to wait this long!
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oh my goodness! I really hope he has a good reason. Your certainly have waited long enough!
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I agree! Especially considering we''ve been together 6 1/2 years!
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I''m hoping he''ll propose on our vacation in 2 weeks.
 
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