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Will your FF help with wedding planning?

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trillionaire

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 18, 2008
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This is kind of a repost from BWW/GG, but are any of your FF''s expressing much, if any interest in wedding planning?

I want to elope, and SO, after his younger brother''s wedding this weekend, is thinking that maybe he wants a traditional wedding. I would be okay with this, if he was willing to do the bulk of the planning, like women usually do when they want a wedding. (he would have to do at least 50-60%, to be fair, as I want nothing to do with a traditional ceremony and my family would DRIVE ME NUTS with all of their LOVING, lol)

Does anyone know of FF''s doing any wedding planning????
 
I just started and at first I felt like FI was just "eh" about it, but then after I started looking at stuff he was Mr. Research! I know I will do most of the planning because he usually works 10 hour days but he will obviously have some input.

I do work with a girl who let her FI (now husband) plan her entire wedding!!
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He definitely will. He has an opinion about everything. He''s also very artsy and has an eye for detail, so that may be most of the reason. We''ve already had conflicts about potential colors. I want black and grey with red shades. And he wants grey and blue. EVERYTHING he owns is grey and blue. Clothes, towels, WALLS. It''s crazy. I think I''m going to have to give in on that one.

I honestly don''t think I''ll be able to make any decisions on my own. He wants a say in everything. We mostly agree on things, though, so it shouldn''t really be an issue. I kind of wish he would just let me handle the invitations and flowers and all the girly things. And he drives me crazy because he has very expensive taste on wedding related things and then when I point out how much it would cost he''s always like, "They''re just trying to rip people off who are trying to get married!
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He''ll definitely give his input...about food and music (music esp.) but he''ll probably leave the rest up to me.
 
Yes, it was split evenly if not a little more work on his part.
I wanted to elope, but part of the agreement to have a wedding was that he take te load off me.
Here is what we have done together:
Clothes (my dress, his suit)
catering
cake
venue
invites
rings

I did the flowers and my stuff (hair, make-up tiara). He did the music. Everything else we have done as a unit.
 
My DH pretty much did nothing...of course, we had a super laid-back backyard bbq ceremony...but I was the one that made most of the decisions, not that there were many to be made, as one friend made most of the eats and another made our cake and we had the wedding in our friends'' backyard...

But most of the detail stuff fell on me.

He did help with making invitations and stuff like that...

But he really could not have cared less what colors we used...not that I blame him one bit!
 
Date: 7/22/2008 7:41:53 PM
Author: aliciagirl
He has an opinion about everything.
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Well, he tells me all he will do is "show up"

But he too has an opinion about everything and I mean EVERYTHING! I know we will end up planning the whole thing together as far as a ceremony/reception site, food, cake (flavor anyway), music, date&time, his tux, groomsman tuxes, how many people to invite, who to invite........lol (he wont care about flowers, colors, table settings....etc) He will care about the price, thats for sure! lol

He doesn't know it, but he will be a full-fledged wedding planning helper. That's just how he is. A big event like that, I know he will have tons of input. lol! But, Im sure I will come up with most all the ideas and then he will just let me know what he thinks.......lol!
 
Oh yes--I am definitely anticipating some arguments about music in particular!

Aside from that, he''ll want lots and lots of input on location and food/wine and will definitely want to be involved at least somewhat with decor. I love the man, but he is definitely opinionated (my fault for dating a double Taurus I guess!)
 
We have been engaged since March and let me tell you... he is involved in EVERY aspect of the planning. He has an opinon on everything and is really enjoying being a part of it. I think the assumption is that guys aren''t as into the whole planning process, but this is totally not true for my FI!
 
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, no.

He just wants to make sure there is food. And that I make a yummy cake. That''s all he cares about.
 
Are we dating the same guy?
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SO is the same way. He''s got a TON of friends, he''s been to tons of weddings (and in tons of wedding parties) and he wants a big wedding.

I, on the other hand, will be the first of my friends to marry (well... I think so!). I''m an introvert. I don''t care much to have a bunch of people we''re not close to around on the big day.

I am willing to compromise but NOT willing to do most of the work to have the big wedding that mostly he wants. Yet, I know that if I don''t take charge, we''ll end up eating KFC and Reese''s. LOL. Ok, not quite, but you know. If we are going to go big - which is still up in the air - I want to do it right and I know that he doesn''t have the time or girly obsessiveness that I do, to make that happen.

I''m still pushing for tropical elopement/small wedding and big informal bash when we get back....
 
Date: 7/22/2008 11:13:48 PM
Author: absolut_blonde
Are we dating the same guy?
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SO is the same way. He''s got a TON of friends, he''s been to tons of weddings (and in tons of wedding parties) and he wants a big wedding.


I, on the other hand, will be the first of my friends to marry (well... I think so!). I''m an introvert. I don''t care much to have a bunch of people we''re not close to around on the big day.


I am willing to compromise but NOT willing to do most of the work to have the big wedding that mostly he wants. Yet, I know that if I don''t take charge, we''ll end up eating KFC and Reese''s. LOL. Ok, not quite, but you know. If we are going to go big - which is still up in the air - I want to do it right and I know that he doesn''t have the time or girly obsessiveness that I do, to make that happen.


I''m still pushing for tropical elopement/small wedding and big informal bash when we get back....
Click to expand...


I am with you 1000%! Only I would be willing to let the wedding fall on its face if he is not going to plan most of it. I will just be there as a requirement, and I can''t say that I will be excited about the pomp and circumstance, but maybe I would be? Anyway, when I tell him he is planning it (and not his mother), maybe he will rethink his expectations. I think it''s ridiculous to expect that the woman is necessarily going to do the planning.
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And I am not unwilling to help, but he would have to be the clear lead.
 
Well considering he''s paying for half of it, I would think he''d want some kind of say in it
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His problem is that he thinks weddings are cheap. I remember when we were having one of our initial engagement/wedding talks. He said at some point "well aren''t rings like $20K and weddings like $5k?" I go "no honey, its the other way around
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So right now we''re trying to decide on what kind of wedding to have and I''ve told him he can''t do his usual whatever makes you happy honey speech. He needs to really plan with me. What I would love to do is pay for our immediate family to go to the DR and get married there but we will see.
 
My ff will have no part in the process he has made that very clear. He doesn''t care about the details as long as I''m happy and marrying him!
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FF will definitely want to help with the wedding planning.

He''s not a very "hands-off" type guy where I get to interior design the whole house. He likes design and would probably take a strong interest in the wedding planning. We''ve already run a few ideas by one another, and he really likes coming up with innovative things to do. Also, he has really good taste, so whatever ideas I''m lacking, he''ll be sure to come up with.
 
He said he would, so we will see. His only request was for me to promise that I will not schedule any *surprise* appointments mid afternoon, and then get mad if he can''t make it that night. I would never!!!
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My FF has said that he wants me to just do whatever I want. I will be asking his opinion on some of the big choices and ones that make a big difference in the budget but otherwise he trusts me and my taste and doesn''t really want to be bothered with the details. We want a destination wedding so he''ll probably help choose the resort but after that there''s not even as much planning for me to do so other than choosing his own attire and being in charge of the iPod (for reception music) he''s pretty much off the hook, and those are things he loves to do so it won''t be hard.
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He says he doesn''t care, but I think he will more once we actually start the planning. I KNOW he will have strong opinions about venue, FOOD, bar options, and music- but I don''t think he''ll care much about flowers, colors, centerpieces, etc. Who knows- he likes to sound all manly and say he doesn''t care, but we have been to SOOO many weddings that I think he''ll start to care once it all boils down to it.

He wants to do a slide show of us just at other peoples weddings since we''ve been to SO many and been in SO many! He''s so cute!
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D and I have picked everything together. He''s very into detail (more so than me) so we''ve had to search for things that both of us like. I like that he''s involved though.
 
All of these involved men are SOOOOO cute!
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We just started our planning together but he''s been 100% involved. Some of the cuter ideas have been his. He''s already trying to plan out what he wants his tux to look like and has come up with some interesting places to go to before the wedding to scope out possible photography places other than what our venue would have avalible.

He''s working on a design for our STD magnets and already told me that on November 1st we are going to go out to all the craft stores and get a bunch of decorations and supplies for the centerpieces because most Halloween themed items will be 1/2 off. Sometimes I think he''s getting more excited than I am!
 
hmm. I can see it now

"honey, do you like x or y place"
"..."
"hello??"
"..wha, oh whatever you want dear."

"honey, do you want these colors or those"
"as long as its not pink"

"honey what kind of foo..."
"Bqq, simple, no fuss. with potato salad. and deviled eggs"

"honey, should we have a dry wedding or..."
"nope. need beer. we''ll get a keg"


HA! i love my man.
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This is how my wedding planning will go:
He already said that all he wants is to know is the date and time and he''ll be there. Oh and he wants cupcakes. His only request. Haha.
So I will be planning along and probably get frustrated that he doesn''t care about flowers or decor or invitation font. Then he''ll tell me that he does care but it''s just flowers or decor or invitation font!!! Then I will continue planning along.
It''s gonna be great...
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I hope so - but he is pretty much one of those guys who is just like "tell me where to go and what time to be there!"
That''s what he says when I''m trying to plan a vacation.
 
Date: 7/22/2008 7:41:53 PM
Author: aliciagirl
He definitely will. He has an opinion about everything. He''s also very artsy and has an eye for detail, so that may be most of the reason. We''ve already had conflicts about potential colors. I want black and grey with red shades. And he wants grey and blue. EVERYTHING he owns is grey and blue. Clothes, towels, WALLS. It''s crazy. I think I''m going to have to give in on that one.

I honestly don''t think I''ll be able to make any decisions on my own. He wants a say in everything. We mostly agree on things, though, so it shouldn''t really be an issue. I kind of wish he would just let me handle the invitations and flowers and all the girly things. And he drives me crazy because he has very expensive taste on wedding related things and then when I point out how much it would cost he''s always like, ''They''re just trying to rip people off who are trying to get married!
29.gif
''
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OMG, how long has he been gay and do you think it will work out
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Just kidding you.
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That''s pretty cool that he''s involved. He''ll have some big surprises in store when he starts pricing things out and getting quotes.
 
hmmmm...I think FF will..atleast I hope he will (although he is SUPER picky..and might be a PITA..hahahahaha)
he will prob wanna have opinions with the:
invites
cake(he loves sweets)
tux(im making him)
and prob candy selections for the candy bar... hopefully more though.. he acts like he will help, but I feel im gonna get the Im busy thing...grrr

haha just asked him and I got (in a cute voice) "Im going to be busy with my thesis or Im gonna be in medical school"...greeeaattttt... LOL :-)
 
My FF has already told me that he will try TO help but he knows he won''t BE much of a help. He''ll help out with the big decisions (date, venue, guest list, etc.) but I highly doubt he''ll be contributing when I need to decide on the colors, cake, flowers, etc. Poor guy is a total jock and has no sense of what is considered "appropriate" for a wedding. I told him I''ll let him know when his opinion is needed, but otherwise he can just agree with whatever I choose like a good BF.
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I think to key to getting a relunctant SO to help is to not give them wide open decisions to make. Instead give them two or three options and ask for an opinion. That way he still feels involved and yet not overwhelmed. I know my BF is never going to be able to tell the differences between 20 different shades of ivory paper, so I won''t even bother going there with him. Instead I''ll show him an example of a formal invite, a middle of the road, and a fun one and let him say which style he likes. Then you get to go from there!
 
Damn right he will, for his own good.
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mine actually has done more research and planning than i have done. and we''re not even officially engaged yet. he''s the one who clued me in to this website (dave, i blame you for the fact that i''m still putzing online...because i know at some point you''ll read this post!). we have spreadsheets upon spreadsheets made already on everything from songs at the reception to guest lists to reception menus. it''s a great feeling to know i can count on him...and just one of the many reasons i love him. he helps me regain some sanity and remember why we''re doing what we''re doing. we don''t want to get so caught up in the details of wedding plans that we forget why we''re getting married. i wish all women could be as lucky as me. :-)
 
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