Women think about wedding, guys think about the proposal?

[designchica]

A guy friend of mine recently told me that while women dream about the perfect wedding, guys dream about the perfect proposal. I''d never heard this. Is this true??

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

While I can not speak for every guy out there, having helped a few of my guy friends plan their proposals I can tell you that it seems like many men put a lot of thought and effort into their proposals to make them memorable and well suited to their special ladies.

In my personal experience with my SO not only has he told me directly that the proposal is one of the few things he is supposed to do “perfectly” but he’s also begun asking about different types of proposals (i.e public vs. private). I am very sure that he is putting about as much thought into the ring design and proposal as I will the wedding preparations.

 

[sandia_rose]

Date: 1/10/2008 1:25:39 PM
Author: designchica
A guy friend of mine recently told me that while women dream about the perfect wedding, guys dream about the perfect proposal. I'd never heard this. Is this true??

I imagine that some guys stress over it. My little brother proposed to his girlfriend over Thanksgiving, and I understand from talking to my other brother that he took a lot of time to think about the ring, where, how, etc. A lot of people live together and/or date for years before the subject even comes up, so I don't think the stress level is that high for men. Most know by the time they ask what answer they will get -- and if they think the answer would be "no," then they don't ask.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I was never interested in the whole wedding thing. I wanted to be married eventually, but the whole formal frou frou turned me off. When I married my ex, I bought my wedding gown in just under an hour and on one shopping trip. I knew what I wanted, found a store that carried it, tried it on and bought it. I am one of those rare women who hates shopping, and I was not going to survive trying on dresses all day! Ditto with wedding planning. I am very informal, and I had to drink massive amounts of wine to plan the wedding that my ex and his family expected (which is to say - Cinderella with a formal sit-down dinner). That should have been a sign.....but it was one of many that I ignored. To my detriment.

I asked my boyfriend what he'd want if we got married. I swear, his ex and mine should have gotten married. His wedding to his ex was like mine - over the top and overpriced, with 7 bridesmaids, almost $10K in flowers, a 6 tier wedding cake, etc. She's an average working-class girl from an average family, and my boyfriend has always been a blue collar construction worker with a band. But I saw pictures of their wedding -- to see that, you would have thought it was royalty or something. He said her parents paid more for that wedding than a lot of people pay for their kid's college educations!!!!!! He said that she was a Bridezilla before the term was invented, with demands on top of demands. Anyway, back to what I was going to say.

If we got married, we'd do it in his yard or a park in the late summer, when it is warm but not too hot. We'd get a justice of the peace. He'd wear jeans and maybe a white shirt....and of course, his snakeskin boots, vest and cowboy hat. He looks amazing in any cowboy-like gear. See below - of him, cropped from his band pic. He looks good in a suit (which he wears for formal occasions), but I love him in his stage/casual clothes. I'd get a white dress, not too fancy. Maybe like this: http://www.raspberryberet.com/martin_mccrea/images/lana-front.jpg. And instead of a veil or headpiece, I'd get a white cowboy hat with netting (like the hat she's got on: http://www.raspberryberet.com/martin_mccrea/images/sonoran_star-front-full.jpg) and would wear white cowboy boots or bare feet underneath. People could wear what they wanted and bring their kids and dogs. And after the ceremony, I'd put on jeans and we'd have a huge pig roast! Since he is in a band and has a lot of musician and biker friends, we'd have whatever music showed up. And of course, endless beverages of all kinds (but there would have to be whiskey and wine), after the pig roast was over, a bonfire, poker games and BSing that'd go into the night. We might go on a sunset bike ride and invite whichever guests wanted to join us.

Probably nothing like most women's idea of a perfect wedding, but it's what'd be perfect for us. We did what everyone else wanted the first time around, so now, we'd do it OUR way.

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 1/10/2008 1:25:39 PM
Author:designchica
A guy friend of mine recently told me that while women dream about the perfect wedding, guys dream about the perfect proposal. I''d never heard this. Is this true??

Well, I heard that line recently in a Robbins Bros. commercial, so I don''t know how accurate and unbiased it can be.

When I mentioned the line from the commercial to my fiance, he rolled his eyes.

From what I''ve seen from firsthand accounts, about half go big, and half go small. Success rates of the marriages seem about the same, though, which surprises me.