Wondering: how affectionate are you wiith your man when you are in public/among friends?

[francesfarmer]

I do not like to kiss the BF when I''m out with a group of friends, but some of my girlfriends are all over their BFs, sitting on their laps, hugging constantly, etc.
How do you behave, as a couple when in public?

 

[fieryred33143]

We’re kind of the same as you. We don’t like to be all over each other in public but we will kiss, hold hands, and hug.

He is more of the quiet type of affection. What I absolutely love that he does is if we are crossing the street, he always makes sure I’m on the inside so that, and I quote, “the car hits me before it hits you.” He does it without thinking and its little things like that I love.

 

[francesfarmer]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:30:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143

We’re kind of the same as you. We don’t like to be all over each other in public but we will kiss, hold hands, and hug.

He is more of the quiet type of affection. What I absolutely love that he does is if we are crossing the street, he always makes sure I’m on the inside so that, and I quote, “the car hits me before it hits you.” He does it without thinking and its little things like that I love.

That''s really cute about crossing the street. I have a male friend who does this too. It shows excellent manners, which isn''t something you see every day!

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:30:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143

We’re kind of the same as you. We don’t like to be all over each other in public but we will kiss, hold hands, and hug.

He is more of the quiet type of affection. What I absolutely love that he does is if we are crossing the street, he always makes sure I’m on the inside so that, and I quote, “the car hits me before it hits you.” He does it without thinking and its little things like that I love.

I thought it was cute you said this. I always complain that my BF is not romantic enough...but then, when I think about it, he does stuff like this too. Always makes sure I walk on the inside of the sidewalk, and holds my hand when we cross the street. He pulls my chair out when we go out to eat (its cute really, because people don't do that anymore...or do they?) He also sets my vitamins out in the morning so I don't forget and brings me water before bed...stuff like that...Its not dreamy romance but it is really sweet. Yours sounds like a keeper too!

Ok, I am going now for real!

 

[galeteia]

We don''t kiss in public unless it''s something like a peck on the cheek, which is so rare I can''t remember if we''ve ever done it.

We hold hands a fair bit when out and about, i.e. grocery shopping, errands, in the car, etc. When in company, we sit next to one another but don''t touch.

We''re pretty grossed out by rampant PDAs; once we were out for dinner with my best friend and her (now) fiance, and after being all kissy-kissy the entire time and talking to one another in high-pitched baby talk (seriously, if I was a dog being talked to that way, I''d bite them), when the chocolates with the bill arrived, she put one halfway in her mouth, turned to her guy, and they shared the chocolate/kissed a la Lady and the Tramp.

Right across from us. In a crowded restaurant. IN PUBLIC. I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

And my very laid-back, easy-going guy was actually offended for once.

So after that emotionally scarring event

we always err on the side of decency.

 

[bee*]

We will hold hands and sometimes hug or give each other a quick kiss on the lips but I''d never sit on his lap or proper kiss him when we''re out with others.

 

[JulieN]

Honestly, I'm not "stuck" to him because he is too big. Probably around 6'1" and more or less 200 lbs, if we were stuck together, we'd be a 300+ lb mass. This makes most situations uncomfortable.

 

[wishful]

Yeah, my bf and I might hold hands in public (esp when we cross a busy street -he always grabs my hand awww....but that''s probably because I walk without looking and he doesn''t want a dead gf on his hands. lol) but other than that it''s a kiss goodbye or a little peck here and there.

I have one friend in particular who is super (over the top) lovey-dovey with the baby talk, staring deep into the eyes and the PDA. It''s kinda gross.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:50:21 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 5/30/2008 4:30:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143

We’re kind of the same as you. We don’t like to be all over each other in public but we will kiss, hold hands, and hug.

He is more of the quiet type of affection. What I absolutely love that he does is if we are crossing the street, he always makes sure I’m on the inside so that, and I quote, “the car hits me before it hits you.” He does it without thinking and its little things like that I love.

I thought it was cute you said this. I always complain that my BF is not romantic enough...but then, when I think about it, he does stuff like this too. Always makes sure I walk on the inside of the sidewalk, and holds my hand when we cross the street. He pulls my chair out when we go out to eat (its cute really, because people don''t do that anymore...or do they?) He also sets my vitamins out in the morning so I don''t forget and brings me water before bed...stuff like that...Its not dreamy romance but it is really sweet. Yours sounds like a keeper too!

Ok, I am going now for real!

I sometimes think he isn’t romantic enough either. I get so wrapped up in what everyone else’s definition of romance is that I forget not all are the same. That is very sweet that he takes your vitamins out in the morning. He cares My boyfriend will normally pack my lunch for me and leave it by the door because I have a one track mind in the morning…if its not in my sight when I’m headed out the door, I will completely forget

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:50:21 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 5/30/2008 4:30:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143
We’re kind of the same as you. We don’t like to be all over each other in public but we will kiss, hold hands, and hug.
He is more of the quiet type of affection. What I absolutely love that he does is if we are crossing the street, he always makes sure I’m on the inside so that, and I quote, “the car hits me before it hits you.” He does it without thinking and its little things like that I love.

I thought it was cute you said this. I always complain that my BF is not romantic enough...but then, when I think about it, he does stuff like this too. Always makes sure I walk on the inside of the sidewalk, and holds my hand when we cross the street. He pulls my chair out when we go out to eat (its cute really, because people don't do that anymore...or do they?) He also sets my vitamins out in the morning so I don't forget and brings me water before bed...stuff like that...Its not dreamy romance but it is really sweet. Yours sounds like a keeper too!

Ok, I am going now for real!

This all reminds me of how BF opens the car door for me EVERY time. Also, when he's driving and has to slam on the brakes he'll reach out to put his hand on my chest (right under my collarbone) so I don't fly forwards.

As for PDAs-he's totally anti PDA on campus-I get maybe a kiss on the cheek- and most places, but if you see us in Target or other stores, we'll walk around with our arms around each other, kiss sometimes, and hug each a lot. We pretty much look like a couple still in the honeymoon stage.

Also, when I first held his hand, I held his last two fingers (ring and pinky) in my hand and now when I hold his hand if I try to hold it differently he'll tell me that I'm doing it wrong and offer his pinky and ring finger. Heh.

 

[sunnyd]

We hold hands everywhere. He gets annoyed when I don''t hold his hand tight enough! I usually let it just flop, but he likes to hold. Haha. Other than that, we peck and hug and do the eye-staring thing...but we talk a lot with our eyes so I get my point across a lot that way... I wouldn''t make out with the guy in public though!

 

[KCCutie]

Wow. I guess I''m just the crazy racy one around here. Didn''t think I''d be the first to say this but...yep we''re all over each other and we just don''t care.

Okay let me clarify a little in a nice restaurant maybe not so much but we would hold hands and maybe a few little tiny quick pecks, but at a loud club or bar....well lets just say even mys sister has pictures of us in a full on mouth lock. Any friends who are around know we''re in love and just go with it and strangers...well who cares they can look away if they want to. With our family we will hold hands, hug, kiss (little pecks), I''ll sit on his lap, but that''s about it. I think writing it out it looks much worse than it really is but what can I say I finally found the one and I don''t care who knows.

 

[Blair138]

We hold hands occasionally and he will smack my butt cuz he thinks it''s funny, but no making out or hanging on each other...

I have a friend who has been with her guy for a while and they just got married-since the BEGINNING of their relationship she CONSTANTLY baby talks to him on the phone-I''ve gone on trips with her twice and it''s always "hi honey (in an annoying high pitched voice), I miss you too, love you" and then she ends EVERY conversation with a "mwah" sound-SERIOUSLY? I throw up in my mouth a little every time I have to hear it-and if she did it in private that would be one thing-but she knows other people can hear...

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/30/2008 5:02:11 PM
Author: JulieN
Honestly, I''m not ''stuck'' to him because he is too big. Probably around 6''1'' and more or less 200 lbs, if we were stuck together, we''d be a 300+ lb mass. This makes most situations uncomfortable.

Heheh! What interesting imagery you suggest, JulieN!

J is funny with demonstrating affection. He had no problem kissing me around strangers (like randomly in the grocery store), but will feel self-conscious around people we know. Occasionally he''ll give me a quick kiss or something in front of people we know, but not often. Unless he''s had a few beers.

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/30/2008 5:16:54 PM
Author: wishful
Yeah, my bf and I might hold hands in public (esp when we cross a busy street -he always grabs my hand awww....but that''s probably because I walk without looking and he doesn''t want a dead gf on his hands. lol) but other than that it''s a kiss goodbye or a little peck here and there.


I have one friend in particular who is super (over the top) lovey-dovey with the baby talk, staring deep into the eyes and the PDA. It''s kinda gross.

LOL I walk without looking too! Its funny because I am not from NY, so I guess I am not used to cars and people all over the place. BF always pulls me back, and gets mad that I don''t look at the walking signals..honestly though, I never walked that much where I lived because everything was far enough you had to drive. I always say, "BABE! Im not from NYC!!!" and he rolls his eyes. I guess I should start paying better attention.

 

[WishfulThinking]

We are pretty affectionate with each other no matter who is around, but not in a gross way. We don''t babytalk or make out, but we do kiss occasionally, and we definitely hold hands many places we go or walk with our arms around each other.

Then again, in some situations we don''t even touch. With us it''s complex, I think, because we have to worry SO MUCH what other people around us are thinking or reacting like. It''s not just that they might be judging us or getting grossed out by our PDA, but that we could be in danger of being verbally or even physically harassed for being a same sex couple, which happens to us occasionally, even though we are in MA.

On the other hand, both of us are extremely aware of the fact that people automatically assume we are just close friends, and unless it is a dangerous situation or we are fearful for some reason, we try to make it known that we are a couple. It sounds so antagonistic and silly writing it out like that, but I can''t think of a better way to say it. Hopefully I don''t sound too ridiculous!

 

[princesss]

WishfulThinking, that doesn''t sound antagonistic at all! It sounds a lot like one of my best friends and her girlfriend. In situations where they''re comfortable, they''re an adorable couple that will kiss a little and snuggle a little (lean into each other on the couch when we all watch movies and stuff like that) but if they''re out of that zone then it''s no touching, no kissing, etc.

They''re such an adorable couple, too.

BF and I used to be more PDA-y when we first got together. Now we''ve realized we barely hold hands. (I mentioned that I''d like to hold hands more, and so now he''s been really making a point of doing it. It''s adorable.) We''re kind of like Freke and her BF. On campus we were pretty low key, but in stores and parks we''re a little more cutesy.

 

[absolut_blonde]

We're pretty middle-of-the-road as far as PDAs go. We'll hold hands in public, maybe a quick peck on the lips if we're saying bye (since we're LDR, I still want a quick goodbye kiss, even if it is in his car somewhere!).

I guess we're guilty of being sappy on the phone in front of anothers but again, with the LDR thing sometimes it's inevitable. If we're with our friends and it's the last time I'll talk to him for the night, then they just have to deal with the I love and miss yous! But even then, nothing TOO bad.

Oh and he does a lot of door holding, etc in public too. This isn't quite the same but relating to the walking on the outside of on the street thing -- he always sleeps on the side closest to the door, as a protective thing (not that anything would ever happen, I think it just feels 'right'). If it counts, he sent me a dozen roses to my work on my birthday. That made my month! All of my male coworkers said he was making them look bad, haha.


Really mushy couples kind of gross me out. (I mean, I know a girl who sits on her boyfriend's lap in restaurants and FEEDS him dessert! Unnecessary!). I don't need to see tongue, or grinding on one another, etc. I think it's inconsiderate to the people around you, too.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 5/30/2008 7:02:50 PM
Author: princesss
WishfulThinking, that doesn''t sound antagonistic at all! It sounds a lot like one of my best friends and her girlfriend. In situations where they''re comfortable, they''re an adorable couple that will kiss a little and snuggle a little (lean into each other on the couch when we all watch movies and stuff like that) but if they''re out of that zone then it''s no touching, no kissing, etc.

They''re such an adorable couple, too.


BF and I used to be more PDA-y when we first got together. Now we''ve realized we barely hold hands. (I mentioned that I''d like to hold hands more, and so now he''s been really making a point of doing it. It''s adorable.) We''re kind of like Freke and her BF. On campus we were pretty low key, but in stores and parks we''re a little more cutesy.

That sounds exactly like us, princess! On our campus, all women and extremely liberal/open-minded/accepting, we are much more affectionate. Aside from that we really have to be conscious of what we''re doing. Your friend and her girlfriend sound really adorable.

All of you have such sweet SOs. These little tidbit stories make me smile. It''s nice to see us being treated the way we deserve to be treated [nicely!] even if it''s not in the more "traditional" movie-style romance that we''ve all been brought up on, and remembering to appreciate the things our SOs do for us that don''t quite fit that mold but are wonderful nonetheless.

 

[choro72]

I sit on FI''s lap, but only if there are no seats available. We hold hands, we hug, we peck on the lips, but nothing gross. We don''t baby talk, we don''t feed each other (actually, we just take each other''s food), we never say I love you (I feel weird saying it...).

FI always opens the door for me, walks on the "dangerous" side of the road, and pulls the chair for me. Actually, the chair thing sometimes annoys me because we can''t get our timing right and I have to fix the comfort level myself anyway. Of course I never tell him that...Never put down a man''s ego

 

[francesfarmer]

Date: 5/30/2008 6:02:06 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/30/2008 5:02:11 PM
Author: JulieN
Honestly, I''m not ''stuck'' to him because he is too big. Probably around 6''1'' and more or less 200 lbs, if we were stuck together, we''d be a 300+ lb mass. This makes most situations uncomfortable.

Heheh! What interesting imagery you suggest, JulieN!

J is funny with demonstrating affection. He had no problem kissing me around strangers (like randomly in the grocery store), but will feel self-conscious around people we know. Occasionally he''ll give me a quick kiss or something in front of people we know, but not often. Unless he''s had a few beers.

Ha my BF gets more affectionate after a few beers as well! And usually if he''s had a few it means I''m driving, sober, and slightly embarassed to be kissed in public! I know I''m on the prude side though

 

[Kayakqueen83]

We defiantly don''t make out in public but we do peck on the mouth, lots of arm-in-arm, hand holding, eye gazing... What can I say? I love him!

 

[Deelight]

over the top PDA really gross me out there is a time and a place and it is not where others can see it.

However holding hands, slight pecks on the cheek cutely snuggling up to each other all okay.

 

[bobbin]

We are constantly in contact with each other- holding hands, arm around each other or he will come up behind me for a hug, we kiss, but only quick pecks, and he will quite often kiss me on my forehead, cheek or hand. I will also sit on his lap sometimes, but not in an over the top lap-dancing kind of way.

Speaking of which, a girl came into my work the other week, dressed in a crop top and tight cargo pants, sat down on her boyfriends lap and started bumpin'' and grindin'' and making out with him, basically a very involved lap dance. Now this would be inappropriate I think even in a nightclub etc situation, and this was in teh waiting room of a legal aid office!! There were some elderly and muslim clients in there as well. They must have been even more offended than I was!

He also does the making me wlak on the inside of the footpath and opening my car door thing... He is quite an old-fashioned sweety!

 

[chocolatefudge]

We hold hands quite a bit, although I am a couple of inches taller than my bf and this sometimes makes us uncomfortable so we don''t always hold hands...... We''ll sometimes have a peck on the cheek and he might put his arm around me when we are sitting together. I feel fine with how ''close'' we are in public, I get really embarassed seeing others and how they act sometimes. This really shocked me the other day.......

I''m driving down the street with my mum when we see two kids (about 15) on the corner of the street, full on snogging (making out??) and the boy had his hand DOWN THE GIRLS TROUSERS!!!!! You could see his hand moving about!! This was 2 o''clok in the afternoon IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!! My mum had this really shocked look on her face and I wanted to die!!
I''ve seen this sort of thing in nightclubs and pubs before with couples practically having sex in front of you and I don''t know where to look!! Maybe I''m an old prude!! I''m only 24!

 

[anchor31]

Neither of us are big fans of big PDAs. Holding hands, quick peck on the cheek and that sort of thing, we do it all the time, but other than that we believe there''s a time and place for everything. One thing I particularly like that he does sometimes when we''re walking somewhere is put his hand on my lower back. Makes me feel very safe.

 

[Dani511]

MY BF has become very affectionte recently-- always wanting to hug me and kiss my face, etc. regardless of who is around. I think it is very sweet, but I am definitly not a PDA person, though. I never sit on his lap, but we do hold hands sometimes, we''ll give eachother little smooches, etc. But thats it. I am not comfortable with too much affection in public. Just a little bit of affection is OK, but all G-rated stuff.

 

[StarvingMusician]

We sometimes hold hands, but I usually link my arm through his. We'll quickly kiss if we're going our seperate ways in public, or hug, but that's about it. He's actually the more affectionate of the two of us, oddly enough.

He tries to be polite, but I tend to be oblivious to it--i.e, he'll try to open the door for me, but I'll get there first, or he'll hold me back while crossing a busy street, but I just go as soon as I see a moment. I'm very independent, but at least he tries.

 

[misscuppycake]

We''re RELATIVELY affectionate in public. I don''t think it''s to the point where people could start calling us vulgar, rude, or gross but I won''t deny that we do hug, sit on each other''s laps and give small pecks throughout.

 

[Lauren8211]

The BF is definitely more PDA-oriented than I am.

He is always hugging and kissing me (not offensively -- just cute) in public. Sometimes I think it makes us look like a high school couple because we both look SO young.

I still get carded for movies and I''m 25!!

When we''re out in large groups or with other couples, we curb it. We don''t want to make our friends uncomfortable, but if we make strangers in a store a little uncomfortable, that''s OK with me!