Work question, intimidation? Or?

[Begonia]

I have a work question I need help with. Bit of background first...

My supervisor has left and the position is open, altho hasn't been posted yet. It's a union position and so is available to people in other departments. A fellow in another department (completely unrelated to mine) has 30+ years seniority and has indicated he may apply. The learning curve would be quite steep as there is little if any skills overlap. His reasons: this position pays a couple of bucks more/hour and he wants to put his best 5 years in for retirement.

He's a known bully with an old school supervisory style. Stories abound. I get along with him, but he's not my supervisor. I know of and have witnessed his tendencies.

When I walk past his office, I can see that he is watching my area via the CC cameras. That's a no-no, unless there are suspicions, and then only by the appropriate investigative team. I say nothing tho. He's watching our area, I presume, to get a jump start on the learning curve and get a sense of who is a worker bee and who is a drone.

He's also been passed over for advancement repeatedly for exempt positions (non-union), and has a big beef with the company about this. It's possible that his indication of making a play for this job is simply to have a laugh and ruffle feathers. Or not.

So that's the background. Now the part I need help with.

He's approaching some of the regulars (non casual employees), specifically 3 of us ladies and saying some things that are... making us uncomfortable. I have heard of, or witnessed 4 such convos.

Yesterday, as I was topping up a display of pastries, he walked by and said "when I'm your boss and running this place, you won't be able to make messes like that."

A pastry had fallen off a tray.

Another time he walked past and struck up a convo with me as I was displaying something else. At the end he said "when I'm your boss, there will be none of this standing around talking."

Both times he's grinning from ear to ear.

I've been bullied 3 times (twice very badly) while working for this company. It may seem like no big deal, but boundaries are being pushed here. I've been here before and swore I'd never let it happen again. I'm hyper sensitive to what I perceive to be the beginning of intimidation.

Your thoughts?

I've told my temporary supervisor about my discomfort and have carefully documented all interactions (something I do daily, regardless). I've been taking the wait and see approach as this is either a big gag on his part, or he really will be my supervisor. I'll need a whole lot more than that.

Hubbie says treat him like the gray rock. No emotion, no words, no reward for his efforts. I'm thinking of giving it a go. My counselor (not seeing her currently) has advised similarly in that I imagine a forcefield around myself. In my case, I envision a wall of plants (Groot?) protecting me.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I welcome any advise.

(I've contacted admin about the double post)

 

[Begonia]

Yes, supervisors can be union where I work @glitterata.

I'll try a shop steward. I always forget about them (mostly bc they aren't very effective where I work), but worth a try!

 

[Bron357]

I’d encourage and support other ladies who he deals with to “make noises” about his style if it’s not appropriate or conducive to a pleasant work environment. That way there’s no single target for him to hone in on. United you stand, divided you fall. I’d be surprised if the “higher ups” aren’t already aware of his attitude which is why he was passed over previously. Is there someone else who you think might suit the role? If so, let them know subtly that you think they’d be great for the role to encourage them to apply, heck, why not apply yourself. It will show your interest in advancing within the Company and if your fellow workers like you and your style they would be supportive.

 

[kenny]

I'd not let on to him your concerns about what you know.
I'd just carry on like nothing happened.

But I would PUT INTO WRITING via email (save a paper and an electronic copy kept in your home) exactly everything you wrote here and, using your company's system, email it to HR.

Then if worse comes to worse, HR was previously warned about the guy.
Such documentation can be valuable if having him removed comes up.

 

[Begonia]

I’d encourage and support other ladies who he deals with to “make noises” about his style if it’s not appropriate or conducive to a pleasant work environment. That way there’s no single target for him to hone in on. United you stand, divided you fall. I’d be surprised if the “higher ups” aren’t already aware of his attitude which is why he was passed over previously. Is there someone else who you think might suit the role? If so, let them know subtly that you think they’d be great for the role to encourage them to apply, heck, why not apply yourself. It will show your interest in advancing within the Company and if your fellow workers like you and your style they would be supportive.

If only @Bron357. Seniority (well almost) rules. He's ahead by a good 15 years on the next (and by far the most qualified) candidate.

There is a "suitability" clause for union positions, and I'm told this could be used in his case, although won't necessarily b e used. They are, indeed, well aware of his tendencies.

We've encouraged all the best candidates, and I'm subtly rallying the troops. Whether or not they'll stay on board...

 

[Begonia]

I'd not let on to him your concerns about what you know.
I'd just carry on like nothing happened.

But I would PUT INTO WRITING via email (save a paper and an electronic copy kept in your home) exactly everything you wrote here and, using your company's system, email it to HR.

Then if worse comes to worse, HR was previously warned about the guy.
Such documentation can be valuable if having him removed comes up.

Roger that @kenny.
Nothing changes if no one comes forward.

When I worked on the ships, predators were everywhere. No one came forward and some of them (my female bully in particular) had been active for years. She was also groping attractive male workers. It was only after she turned on a chief steward and a captain that she was forcibly retired. Terrorizing me for years went unchecked even when I came forward. Well... not quite. Nothing came of it and she carried on.

 

[LilAlex]

I'm sorry.

Whereas I wholeheartedly agree with @kenny (did I really just write that?! ) that it is best to put everything in writing when it's fresh so you have documentation, it is also important to recognize that HR is not your friend. HR is not even your boss's friend or the company's friend. HR is there to protect HR. But, yes, I would consider sharing the documentation with a senior colleague or your ER/LR folks.

Although I think it is important to take these steps, I don't see too much in your colleague's crass comments that would raise alarm bells in HR. He certainly seems to be an a$$hole -- and his "I'll be watching you!" may be just what management is looking for. I don't know your corporate policy about watching the cameras but presumably they are there so someone can watch if they so choose.

 

[dk168]

I would keep a diary of incident and event that I would consider as intimidation or bullying.
I would exchange notes and team up with others who have had similar issues with this person, to strengthen support your claim against him.
Good luck!

DK

 

[Rfisher]

and I'm subtly rallying the troops

I suggest to be cautious with what you mean by rallying the troops. It could unintentionally backfire on you, personally.
Hostile/intimidating workplace accusations don’t need to be direct occurrences. Witnessing it as a 3rd party is usually sufficient to make a claim.

Best wishes.

 

[Begonia]

I'm sorry.

Whereas I wholeheartedly agree with @kenny (did I really just write that?! ) that it is best to put everything in writing when it's fresh so you have documentation, it is also important to recognize that HR is not your friend. HR is not even your boss's friend or the company's friend. HR is there to protect HR. But, yes, I would consider sharing the documentation with a senior colleague or your ER/LR folks.

Although I think it is important to take these steps, I don't see too much in your colleague's crass comments that would raise alarm bells in HR. He certainly seems to be an a$$hole -- and his "I'll be watching you!" may be just what management is looking for. I don't know your corporate policy about watching the cameras but presumably they are there so someone can watch if they so choose.

 

[Begonia]

I'm sorry.

Whereas I wholeheartedly agree with @kenny (did I really just write that?! ) that it is best to put everything in writing when it's fresh so you have documentation, it is also important to recognize that HR is not your friend. HR is not even your boss's friend or the company's friend. HR is there to protect HR. But, yes, I would consider sharing the documentation with a senior colleague or your ER/LR folks.

Although I think it is important to take these steps, I don't see too much in your colleague's crass comments that would raise alarm bells in HR. He certainly seems to be an a$$hole -- and his "I'll be watching you!" may be just what management is looking for. I don't know your corporate policy about watching the cameras but presumably they are there so someone can watch if they so choose.

100%.

They did sweet tweet the first two times. It's was a "shoot the messenger" situation both other times I went forward and nothing has changed that I can see.

I've documented and informally taken it to my temp supervisor but after sleeping on it, have decided to wait and see. Fool me once...

The cameras are not meant to
be watched unless... corporate policy and contractual. That'll go nowhere tho. He said she said. Just an interesting observation on my part into what kind of person he is.

It i s possible that they'll welcome the pendulum swing style of this guy from the last supervisor. Nothing surprises me anymore, the wheels have been off the bus for years now there.

 

[Begonia]

I would keep a diary of incident and event that I would consider as intimidation or bullying.
I would exchange notes and team up with others who have had similar issues with this person, to strengthen support your claim against him.
Good luck!

DK

The 3 regulars are comparing notes. With every occurrence. That's about the only people I can talk to.

I'd thought about making gentle inquiries among his department employees but quickly ruled that out. You just never know who's a sympathizer and who isn't. People play the part so well and then rat you out to elevate themselves there. It's absolutely gross the duplicity that goes on.

 

[dk168]

I suggest to be cautious with what you mean by rallying the troops. It could unintentionally backfire on you, personally.

Yup! Tread with cautions.

DK

 

[Begonia]

Yup! Tread with cautions.

DK

Just talking to the ladies and they talk to me (comparing notes). I'll be careful though. All other efforts have been ruled out as too risky.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I have a work question I need help with. Bit of background first...

My supervisor has left and the position is open, altho hasn't been posted yet. It's a union position and so is available to people in other departments. A fellow in another department (completely unrelated to mine) has 30+ years seniority and has indicated he may apply. The learning curve would be quite steep as there is little if any skills overlap. His reasons: this position pays a couple of bucks more/hour and he wants to put his best 5 years in for retirement.

He's a known bully with an old school supervisory style. Stories abound. I get along with him, but he's not my supervisor. I know of and have witnessed his tendencies.

When I walk past his office, I can see that he is watching my area via the CC cameras. That's a no-no, unless there are suspicions, and then only by the appropriate investigative team. I say nothing tho. He's watching our area, I presume, to get a jump start on the learning curve and get a sense of who is a worker bee and who is a drone.

He's also been passed over for advancement repeatedly for exempt positions (non-union), and has a big beef with the company about this. It's possible that his indication of making a play for this job is simply to have a laugh and ruffle feathers. Or not.

So that's the background. Now the part I need help with.

He's approaching some of the regulars (non casual employees), specifically 3 of us ladies and saying some things that are... making us uncomfortable. I have heard of, or witnessed 4 such convos.

Yesterday, as I was topping up a display of pastries, he walked by and said "when I'm your boss and running this place, you won't be able to make messes like that."

A pastry had fallen off a tray.

Another time he walked past and struck up a convo with me as I was displaying something else. At the end he said "when I'm your boss, there will be none of this standing around talking."

Both times he's grinning from ear to ear.

I've been bullied 3 times (twice very badly) while working for this company. It may seem like no big deal, but boundaries are being pushed here. I've been here before and swore I'd never let it happen again. I'm hyper sensitive to what I perceive to be the beginning of intimidation.

Your thoughts?

I've told my temporary supervisor about my discomfort and have carefully documented all interactions (something I do daily, regardless). I've been taking the wait and see approach as this is either a big gag on his part, or he really will be my supervisor. I'll need a whole lot more than that.

Hubbie says treat him like the gray rock. No emotion, no words, no reward for his efforts. I'm thinking of giving it a go. My counselor (not seeing her currently) has advised similarly in that I imagine a forcefield around myself. In my case, I envision a wall of plants (Groot?) protecting me.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I welcome any advise.

(I've contacted admin about the double post)

first off pastries fall off trays, they fall off counters, they fall off plates and they fall onto the floor
its like a law of nature in a bakery
its just a bit of wastage that is probably factored into the profit margin
i have seen many much larger accidents where product gets dropped
just like how sometimes they get burnt by those who should know better

he sounds a bully all right
you are right to be careful
actually he sounds a right a-hole
lets hope he doesnt get that job

 

[Begonia]

first off pastries fall off trays, they fall off counters, they fall off plates and they fall onto the floor
its like a law of nature in a bakery
its just a bit of wastage that is probably factored into the profit margin
i have seen many much larger accidents where product gets dropped
just like how sometimes they get burnt by those who should know better

he sounds a bully all right
you are right to be careful
actually he sounds a right a-hole
lets hope he doesnt get that job

Right?

The pastries are wrapped at the factory and it fell right beside the tray in the display and is No. Big. Deal.

It was a power move pure and simple.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Right?

The pastries are wrapped at the factory and it fell right beside the tray in the display and is No. Big. Deal.

It was a power move pure and simple.

we are a much smaller opparation,very few items come wrapped from our bakery to our shop, we eiither wrap them ourselves or they go straight into a bag as the customer buys them either from the pie warmer or our display cabinets customers can only access goods themselves that are already wrapped
and if a pie or what ever falls on the ground but doesn't fall out of its bag on our side of the counter its ok to go, i replace the bag
if it falls on the customers side i always ask did it come out of the bag and if it did we replace it
btw i am on close 4 nights a week so its me who mops the floor those nights, still there is no 2 second rule (as a joke due to inflation i now call it the 10 second rule)
if food touches the floor it goes straight into the pig bin

this awful man must not be trusted @Begonia
i do beleave your theripist is not giving you enough credit

 

[Begonia]

we are a much smaller opparation,very few items come wrapped from our bakery to our shop, we eiither wrap them ourselves or they go straight into a bag as the customer buys them either from the pie warmer or our display cabinets customers can only access goods themselves that are already wrapped
and if a pie or what ever falls on the ground but doesn't fall out of its bag on our side of the counter its ok to go, i replace the bag
if it falls on the customers side i always ask did it come out of the bag and if it did we replace it
btw i am on close 4 nights a week so its me who mops the floor those nights, still there is no 2 second rule (as a joke due to inflation i now call it the 10 second rule)
if food touches the floor it goes straight into the pig bin

this awful man must not be trusted @Begonia
i do beleave your theripist is not giving you enough credit

He did it again tonight. I was talking with a coworker and heard my name called out from outside our Cafe. It was him.

He said "enough talking you two" and motioned with his fingers like a beak (big grin on his face). I motioned back like a beak and said "quit yapping at me". I couldn't help myself.

Joke but no joke ya know?

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

He did it again tonight. I was talking with a coworker and heard my name called out from outside our Cafe. It was him.

He said "enough talking you two" and motioned with his fingers like a beak (big grin on his face). I motioned back like a beak and said "quit yapping at me". I couldn't help myself.

Joke but no joke ya know?

good on you

 

[missy]

I'm sorry you are going through this @Begonia
I had to deal with a toxic boss once
My strategy was to ignore him as best I could
And it worked fine
But I was glad the day I left tbh
And this is with me rarely having to see or deal with him

He once asked me a favor
That was not on the up and up
But it was for the good of a colleague who needed something insurance wouldn't cover
Definitely a gray area of ethics
But I went ahead and did what he asked of me
Not for him
But for my colleague
Still it was wrong of him to ask

I just share to show you you are not alone
Hang in there
Keep your head down
Do your job
And try to ignore his toxic behavior


ETA
By the way...this is the same boss who threatened to fire me when we were rescuing Tommy who was kept under truly horrid conditions in the basement of the building where I was working. He was kept as a mouser in dirty conditions without food because they wanted him to catch mice. I was friendly with the janitor and he told me what was going on and that is when I put my plan in action. And we rescued our sweet Tommy cat. I made the owner of the building sewer never to get another cat as a mouser and I know he kept that promise at least for the next 8 years I was working there. My boss J told me if I took Tommy I would lose my job if anyone complained. LOL I thought to myself when he said that (EFF you) and my DH and I rescued Tommy. I would never risk a life for any job. NEVER. Tommy was worth that and so much more. And we went on to enjoy 15 plus years with my sweet baby Tommy. RIP Tommy boy. We will always love you. My sweet baby

 

[Begonia]

I'm sorry you are going through this @Begonia
I had to deal with a toxic boss once
My strategy was to ignore him as best I could
And it worked fine
But I was glad the day I left tbh
And this is with me rarely having to see or deal with him

He once asked me a favor
That was not on the up and up
But it was for the good of a colleague who needed something insurance wouldn't cover
Definitely a gray area of ethics
But I went ahead and did what he asked of me
Not for him
But for my colleague
Still it was wrong of him to ask

I just share to show you you are not alone
Hang in there
Keep your head down
Do your job
And try to ignore his toxic behavior


ETA
By the way...this is the same boss who threatened to fire me when we were rescuing Tommy who was kept under truly horrid conditions in the basement of the building where I was working. He was kept as a mouser in dirty conditions without food because they wanted him to catch mice. I was friendly with the janitor and he told me what was going on and that is when I put my plan in action. And we rescued our sweet Tommy cat. I made the owner of the building sewer never to get another cat as a mouser and I know he kept that promise at least for the next 8 years I was working there. My boss J told me if I took Tommy I would lose my job if anyone complained. LOL I thought to myself when he said that (EFF you) and my DH and I rescued Tommy. I would never risk a life for any job. NEVER. Tommy was worth that and so much more. And we went on to enjoy 15 plus years with my sweet baby Tommy. RIP Tommy boy. We will always love you. My sweet baby

Thank you for telling me your own sad story of a toxic boss @missy. Sounds pretty awful. The wear and tear on our bodies and souls around people like this...

Good for you to have the courage to carry thru with your plan and rescue Tommy, and to think he got an additional 15+ years! Mind you, any time in his new life would have been worth it. Look how sweet he is in his picture! What was he like in temperament?

I see a pattern with me. I'm a sensitive INFJ in a toxic corporation that is union based and either can't or when they can, won't, get rid of predators. The game has only just begun with this guy. Jerks like him/her do this for sport and me being me, well I'm the perfect prey.
I'm a conscientious work horse and yet they still come for me.

I've gotta shut off his dopamine rush somehow, the jollies he gets from this. I'd read about the gray rock approach, I think it was called and used for narcissists I believe. Rather controversial as well but worth a try. No reaction, no emotion. That's going to be so hard for me as I'm easily provoked.

Sigh. I'm just trying to survive ya know? Our house is at risk for a new poorly planned and grossly environmentally risky development proposal hitting our middle class area (a blatant cash grab by developers), My husband is depressed with an insecure job, my health is unstable, my country is facing potential catastrophic financial losses partly thanks to a psychopath, and then this. Time for a hot brew and a walk.

Thanks for listening.

 

[missy]

@Begonia my heart goes out to you. My boss j was also a narcissist and imo sociopath. But luckily I took excellent care of my patients and he wasn’t a complete moron because without me he would have been in trouble. Still he was annoying and I avoided him as much as I could

Thanks for asking about Tommy. He was so sweet. Very shy but he was warm around us. Though still skittish due to his rough beginning. We estimated him to be around 1.5 yo when we rescued him but he wasn’t in the basement all that time. As soon as the janitor was made aware he told me. We were friendly. And thank goodness otherwise I would have never known about Tommy. Cornwall could have gotten in trouble but he trusted me and I greatly appreciated him. Because of him we knew about Tommy and able to rescue him. I left work in 2017/18 and I’m still in touch with Cornwall. I told him when Tommy died and he said “ damn, that cat lived a long time “ I had to laugh. But it’s never long enough. I miss him so. He was truly the sweetest cat. A lover not a fighter. Everyone loved Tommy but he only came out for Greg and me usually. I didn’t like having people over because it stressed him out. And Tommy came first. He was sweetness and goodness and gentleness personified. An angel on earth. That’s the truth. Pure. Beautiful inside and out.




Here he is with Bobby. Bobby gets along with no other cat. But he and Tommy were bonded. Loved each other. Makes this even more tragic. Poor Bobby is lost. And unfortunately has cancer

 

[Begonia]

I think Tommy was a cat after my heart. Mind you, I've never really known a cat. True story, I've never been around the kitties. I like to hear how the bros bonded, with Bobby being such a bad@$$ and all! That must have been 2 tons of fun to watch on the daily!

Wait! I d i d know a cat once, briefly. Charlie he was, and white with a few black patches. He lived a street over and would follow the kids home from school. They would tell me about him. One day he followed them home and then cried at our door for a while. I checked but didn't know why he was crying, then remembered he was old fella and I reckoned he forgot his way home. Yup. We walked him home and he was so grateful, that's the part I remember. After that, my younger son walked him home quite a bit.

He died a few years back now. Charlie. My son still talks about him, I guess his Charlie fix was a daily occurrence. Animal friends.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Begonia my heart goes out to you. My boss j was also a narcissist and imo sociopath. But luckily I took excellent care of my patients and he wasn’t a complete moron because without me he would have been in trouble. Still he was annoying and I avoided him as much as I could

Thanks for asking about Tommy. He was so sweet. Very shy but he was warm around us. Though still skittish due to his rough beginning. We estimated him to be around 1.5 yo when we rescued him but he wasn’t in the basement all that time. As soon as the janitor was made aware he told me. We were friendly. And thank goodness otherwise I would have never known about Tommy. Cornwall could have gotten in trouble but he trusted me and I greatly appreciated him. Because of him we knew about Tommy and able to rescue him. I left work in 2017/18 and I’m still in touch with Cornwall. I told him when Tommy died and he said “ damn, that cat lived a long time “ I had to laugh. But it’s never long enough. I miss him so. He was truly the sweetest cat. A lover not a fighter. Everyone loved Tommy but he only came out for Greg and me usually. I didn’t like having people over because it stressed him out. And Tommy came first. He was sweetness and goodness and gentleness personified. An angel on earth. That’s the truth. Pure. Beautiful inside and out.




Here he is with Bobby. Bobby gets along with no other cat. But he and Tommy were bonded. Loved each other. Makes this even more tragic. Poor Bobby is lost. And unfortunately has cancer

at my first job (7 years) we had a cat, we were the HQ of a large regional rural servicing company, we did lots of different things,
i worked in the shop in the garden centre, the grain store next door had a cat, Leo and latter on Blue as well
they had a cat door cut into one of the grain store doors and they would hang out in the garden centre and go back and sleep in the warmth of the grain store at night
they were always feed,every day
many years before they used to get steak and kidney from the butcher up the road but in Leo's day it was the commercially available cat food every NZ grew up one, Leo lived till she was 17,
when we were brought out and the shop sold off the garden centre moved to a busy road so Blue was rehomed with an elderly customer

i would hope Tommy had little memory of living in the dark

 

[Begonia]

at my first job (7 years) we had a cat, we were the HQ of a large regional rural servicing company, we did lots of different things,
i worked in the shop in the garden centre, the grain store next door had a cat, Leo and latter on Blue as well
they had a cat door cut into one of the grain store doors and they would hang out in the garden centre and go back and sleep in the warmth of the grain store at night
they were always feed,every day
many years before they used to get steak and kidney from the butcher up the road but in Leo's day it was the commercially available cat food every NZ grew up one, Leo lived till she was 17,
when we were brought out and the shop sold off the garden centre moved to a busy road so Blue was rehomed with an elderly customer

i would hope Tommy had little memory of living in the dark

I'm lovin' the kitty stories @Daisys and Diamonds. Thanks for telling me yours!

Any animal story is good.

Got time for tea?

 

[missy]

i would hope Tommy had little memory of living in the dark

Thank you Nikki. He had no memory of it as far as we could tell. We gave him so much love and attention and security and comfort I think it eventually disappeared from his mind. I truly believe this.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I'm lovin' the kitty stories @Daisys and Diamonds. Thanks for telling me yours!

Any animal story is good.

Got time for tea?

actually im having baked beans on toast with bacon,
i'll fill the jug up again and find a cup for Missy too

its my half day today, Friday the day of the big clean
we take all the cabinets and the pie warmer apart
i would like to give it up but i worked out that's the money i get to spend on my modest bling projects and that keeps me sane,
i spend about the same time getting to work as i do working today, im hoping the forcast is right and its going to rain, its been so hot this week

 

[missy]

I think Tommy was a cat after my heart. Mind you, I've never really known a cat. True story, I've never been around the kitties. I like to hear how the bros bonded, with Bobby being such a bad@$$ and all! That must have been 2 tons of fun to watch on the daily!

Wait! I d i d know a cat once, briefly. Charlie he was, and white with a few black patches. He lived a street over and would follow the kids home from school. They would tell me about him. One day he followed them home and then cried at our door for a while. I checked but didn't know why he was crying, then remembered he was old fella and I reckoned he forgot his way home. Yup. We walked him home and he was so grateful, that's the part I remember. After that, my younger son walked him home quite a bit.

He died a few years back now. Charlie. My son still talks about him, I guess his Charlie fix was a daily occurrence. Animal friends.

I think it is such a gift to have animals as part of the family. Especially for children. I know I am super grateful my family loves animals and when my mom became pregnant with me they got their first dog. When my dad proposed to my mom he said I only have one non negotiable. I want us to get a dog. (Both of my parents had no pets growing up). To which my mom replied...when we get pregnant. And so they did. We all loved this dog with all our hearts. And when he died my dad had engraved "we will love you forever"

He was a true gem.

 

[Begonia]

I think it is such a gift to have animals as part of the family. Especially for children. I know I am super grateful my family loves animals and when my mom became pregnant with me they got their first dog. When my dad proposed to my mom he said I only have one non negotiable. I want us to get a dog. (Both of my parents had no pets growing up). To which my mom replied...when we get pregnant. And so they did. We all loved this dog with all our hearts. And when he died my dad had engraved "we will love you forever"

He was a true gem.

Absolutely forever. There's a wee missie missing her two fronts but not a care next to woman's best friend.

Here's my wee girl Ziggy. Got her as a chick and the most bonded I've been to an animal. We were her flock. RIP my sweet girl.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

growing up we didnt have animals as mum said no, she didnt like mess or animals and said we would get too upset if they died
i think dad would have liked a dog and would have grown to love a cat

so the first experience we had with death was when my dad died