worrying about what others think

[turquoise]

All of you are going to swear I need a psychiatrist when you get through reading this, but here is goes anyway. I recently have fallen in love with a three stone emerald cut diamond ring. Because I am such a traditionalist, I want to wear some type of wedding band with it. I have decided I want to wear a very thin anniversary band with small baguettes cuts (they lay east-west). The two rings match each other really well, but they do not sit flush. The jeweler we deal with has offered to custom make me a ring that will sit flush, but it will be an extra $1800. I just can''t spending that kind of money, and I was really happy without the rings sitting flush, until a co-worker "friend" of mine said that it would look horrible. She has a five stone oval ring, but her plain wedding band sits flush. Basically, she is the type of person that believes her way is the only way. For some reason, I really let her get to me and find myself wondering what she would think if I do a certain thing. Why do I feel that I need her approval? I am so angry with myself. I really want to just quit worrying what she thinks about my ring set. UGGGGHHH!!! i mean, this is a very expensive purchase we are about to make, and I was fine until she opened her big mouth. I catch myself thinking that "if only her rings did not sit flush, then it would be ok". I think I am just one of these people who feels they really need the approval of others--I wish I could change.

 

[Hest88]

Don't you hate that?

If she keeps harping on it, inform her that up until the 50s wedding rings weren't made to fit flush. So, you're the one with classic tastes.

My rings don't fit flush either, and I've really come to like the way the gap looks.

 

[Meow]

.....

 

[Hest88]

I have an EC e-ring with a matching band. You're just not going to get a set to sit flush with a regular basket setting unless you do a wrap. Personally, I'm not fond of wraps since I like the option of wearing my wedding ring by itself, and a wrap just looks odd alone.

Here's a link to a thread with my wedding set. It's actually not a good picture for seeing the gap, since the gap looks much smaller and rather charming (if I do say so myself!) actual size. In real life it's actually harder to see where the diamond end and the wedding band begins.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/antique-style-ec-set.6666/

 

[pyramid]

Turquoise - Tina
Meow - Rachel

?

 

[ccuheartnurse]

Well, if anothers viewpoint is that important & will get under your skin, then I suppose you're dishing out $1800 for that band.

If you dont give a rats a$$, then you'll pay cheaper. Simple really. I'm among the mindset that I dont give a rats a$$ what people think of my ring & my opinion is the only one thats important. It used to make me see red when the jewelers used to comment on how "your friends would love it". Who cares! Try making me love it!

Pyramid,
You have something there.

Judy

 

[guslik]

Hi turquoise!
I believe a picture worth a thousand words. So here are my rings , and the wedding band is not sitting flush with e-ring. It is round cut and not and emerald like yours, but believe me, people complement me on my rings every day , and I have never heard from anyone questions about rings not sitting flush , people say that my rings look very classic. So, you don't need anyone's approval , these are your rings and you are in charge here.
GOOD LUCK , and don't forget to post pics.

P.S. sorry about poor quality of the pics, just a quick shots.

 

[lucy]

guslik-
if you dont mind me asking-what size is your center diamond and where did you purchase the setting from? and more pics of the sides of the e-setting anywhere?
i love it!!

 

[guslik]

----------------
On 7/25/2003 11:31:40 PM lucy wrote:

guslik-
if you dont mind me asking-what size is your center diamond and where did you purchase the setting from? and more pics of the sides of the e-setting anywhere?
i love it!!
----------------

Hi lucy!
My center stone is 2.57ct
SI2/I (no visible inclusions whatsoever)
Table = 57%
Depth= 59.6%
Crown angle = 33.7
Pavilion angle = 41.2
Culet = none
Polish= VG
Symmerty= VG
Girdle= Thin to Sl. Thick
Florescence = Medium blue
The setting is Verragio 0.55 carat TW, ENG-0184. First pic is from Verragio website.

Ans these are pics I have posted when I just received my ring.
Here they are again

Hope it helps

 

[turquoise]

Pyramid, that was weird. Probably a troll. I thank all of your for listening. Maybe Meow had the same problem.

 

[pyramid]

Nah, Tina. If you look at your profile and Rachel's profile it is obvious you are the same person with the same questions. 3 stone emerald cut ring, rings fitting flush. Not that there is anything wrong with having two names. Be honest.

 

[fuffi]

Wow Hest88, your rings are gorgeous! Very gothic. I haven't seen anything like that anywere.

And Turquoise, I think you need to let your coworker know how rigid and lacking in individuality she really is.

 

[Meow]

????????

 

[turquoise]

Pyramid, it is a coincidence I assure you. But, believe what you want. I won't lose any sleep over it.

 

[lucy]

wow wow wow!! it is really so beautiful-i love how it sort of gets skinnier right by the diamond and then fattens out again. durn-wish i had seen this before i got my current setting! how do you like that split 8 prong? any fear of bumping that exposed girdle part? you must get tons of compliment when you wear that around!

 

[guslik]

Hi Lucy!
Can you post your new ring pics? I know you got a 3 ct stone from GOG.

I love the split prong design, and although I do have some fear of chipping the girdle, I believe that this type of setting is perfect to show off beauty of the diamond. I got my ring insured against all kind of accidents.

Guslik

 

[Tracesofheav75]

I understand what you are going through. More then you think. Not about a ring but about alot of other things. If you like your ring set, then keep it! If she doesnt like it, then tell her to buy you the other ring! Save that money for a rainy day. Dont sweat the small stuff! If one day you have the money sitting around and really want it (For You not her) then buy it. But dont do it for someone else. What does your husband think? As long as you two are happy thats what counts. She doesnt live with you. My two rings do not sit right. I dont care, I love the rings alot. They are worth alot of money and are really good rings. Im happy with them. Be thankful you have what you have. What happends if you buy the ring and something bad happens and you really needed that money in the bank to help you out. And instead you bought a ring to make someone else happy? Is she going to help pay that other ER??