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Would you get a dress your fiance doesn''t like?

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happydreams

happydreams

Shiny_Rock
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Dec 16, 2008
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Just wondering...I''ve been looking through pictures of dresses and the ones I like a lot, I''ll send to my fiance. I think I found the dress!
However, my fiance doesn''t seem to like it. Which brings me to my question - would you guys get a dress your fiance doesn''t like?
I mean, I deally I would like to look nice for him, but I think my own preferences might win this one!
 
Well, I don''t think the question is really fair. It''s not like you sent him a picture of the dress on you. A lot of the time you think something will look good, and it''s terrible, and vice versa. Unless he sees you in the dress, you can''t really trust his opinion.

If you don''t care about your FI''s opinion, then don''t send him pictures of dresses. If you do, then you''ve answered your own question.
 
Well, I know my FI and I have very different taste in clothing and he likes to see me in things that I find highly unflattering! We''ve flipped through wedding mags and I''ve gotten his opinion on various dresses (I already have mine btw but I haven''t gauged whether or not he''ll like it because I don''t really see many dresses that are similar enough to ask). In the end though, I know that whatever I wear, whether he likes it in a mag or not, he will love it on me and think I''m the most beautiful person on earth. I''ve managed to brainwash him that way and that''s why I''m marrying him!
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You know what looks best on your body and how you want to look on your wedding day. I think when guys look at dresses in mags they look at the model''s pose and her expression and can''t actually see the dress and picture how it would look on you. Definitely go with your own preferences...you''re wearing the dress not him!
 
Date: 6/3/2009 9:20:56 PM
Author: sammyj
Well, I know my FI and I have very different taste in clothing and he likes to see me in things that I find highly unflattering! We''ve flipped through wedding mags and I''ve gotten his opinion on various dresses (I already have mine btw but I haven''t gauged whether or not he''ll like it because I don''t really see many dresses that are similar enough to ask). In the end though, I know that whatever I wear, whether he likes it in a mag or not, he will love it on me and think I''m the most beautiful person on earth. I''ve managed to brainwash him that way and that''s why I''m marrying him!
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You know what looks best on your body and how you want to look on your wedding day. I think when guys look at dresses in mags they look at the model''s pose and her expression and can''t actually see the dress and picture how it would look on you. Definitely go with your own preferences...you''re wearing the dress not him!
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I completely agree.

I also think that in this case your opinion matters a little more. My FI likes very generic dresses while I like the ones that are a bit more unique. I''m not picking something crazy but definitly not as plane as he likes.
 
Sammy, I've been following your story and I think the story that goes along with your melissa sweet gown is hilarious! :)
Thanks for the opinions.
 
Well, I showed FI my dream dress, he scrunched up his nose and said "Yuck". Now when I look at it, I don''t love it as much.

I got FI to show me the style of dress he likes.. and now I am finding dresses I think that we will both love
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Yep, I''d get whatever dress I wanted. I actually haven''t shown my fiance a single picture of any wedding dresses, though, so obviously he didn''t have any input.
 
I cared a lot more whether *I* liked it, but I think knowing that he disliked it would ruin it for me. So I guess I wouldn't consciously choose something based on whether or not he liked it, but my own perception of it would be affected by his reaction to it... if that makes sense.

This is purely theorizing, though, as I didn't ever ask his opinion on dresses
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I showed him pictures, but never asked "do you like this?" It was always "I love this!" Statements, not questions.
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I think I would stop showing him photos of gowns, so that I could have the one and only say. Truth is, he's going to love you in any gown.


That being said, I would choose the gown I loved.

Also, keep in mind, pictures in magazines aren't accurate portrayals of how women look in wedding gowns. I've seen gowns look so much better on real women than they ever did on the women modeling them.
 
I worry about it. I worry about me not liking my dress. Eesh. Eh well, it''s just a dress.

BTW, after I got it he guessed that my dress would be one of three colors (in the order he said):
1. blue
2. silver
3. white

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Sure would, and did. He really wanted it me to wear a strapless dress, and, well, I'm not. I know that if he saw a picture of my dress he would hate the picture, but I also know when he sees it on me, he will love it.

Bridal fashion really is at the pinnacle of femininity, so I would imagine most men would hate it and not understand it. As long as you get the dress that looks best on you, he will love it. The most important thing you will wear is your attitude, so you have to love your dress as your top priority!
 
This is something I am also concerned about. If I could go back one month, I would have made the decision to not show my FI a single magazine/internet photo!

The style I''m 95% likely to go with is lacy...like, all lace. Yet, every single photo I show him of lace or beading, he says "eh, it''s ok." It actually really bums me out. He likes the super simple, sexy dresses - so, fitted around the hips, strapless, with a small "poof."

So, what am I gonna do? Well, he has said multiple times that he will love me in anything - and another poster is right, that the dress looks SO different on paper than on my body. So, I will buy the dress I love and I am confident that he will love it too when he first sees me on our wedding day.
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Count me among the others, that many guys just don''t have the vision to see beyond the model wearing the dress. They will love most dresses on you, unless you buy something that is completely unflattering. After showing df a few dresses I liked, I realized it was best to not show him anything. At the end of the day I took a tiny sliver of what he said he didn''t like about a dress and picked one that I was in love with. I''m sure I care about it waaaaay more than he does.
 
He''s going to be so knocked out by the way you look on your wedding day that the dress really doesn''t matter. Seriously--he may think he hates lace (or tulle or strapless gowns or . . . ) but he won''t be thinking of any of those things when he sees the woman he''s going to marry walking toward him, on his wedding day, surrounded by white and hairspray and flowers, etc.

He will love it, because it will be in you.
 
My DH''s only opinion when I was dress shopping was on the fabric. He only liked satin, no see-through fabrics like tulle or organza (he throught they looked like ballerina skirts). So I did make sure I bought a satin dress, but picked the style I liked.

I say ask him what he doesn''t like about the dresses you''ve shown him, just to get an idea, but in the end go with what you want.
 
I did not consult FI for anything on the wedding dress. I didn''t even show him pics of the kind of style I want. I want it to be a complete surprise to him. I know that he''d think I''d look lovely in a pair of jeans and a tshirt on me for the wedding, lol!
I know he''ll approve once the big day arrives.
 
I would compromise.

If there is a dress that he likes that I would feel uncomfortable in, I won''t wear it. And if there is a dress that I like that he absolutely hates, I won''t wear it either.

When we were wedding planning, I sent over a bunch of dresses to him. He seemed to prefer strapless and dresses that came in on the waist which are dresses that I prefer too.
 
As a guy who went dress shopping with FI (don't laugh too hard, please), I would say try to get him to pin down specifically what he does or doesn't like about each dress, not just whether or not he likes the whole dress. Then you should be able to pick a dress you love that has some of the details he likes and avoids those he doesn't. Both of us were surprised by how some of the dresses one or the other didn't like in the magazine really looked good on her.

The dress she picked was not my favorite of all the ones she tried on (though it was in the top 3). I do love, however, that she took my opinions into account and the details I did like are all incorporated (color, strapless, overall shape, beading instead of lace--some of which were mutual likes) The dress she will be wearing will be great for two reasons: 1) SHE is the one wearing it and 2) she feels beautiful and comfortable in it, and the confidence of that makes her more beautiful to me.

I guess it's all a long way of saying that you need to take his opinions into account, but you will be one wearing it, so your opinion counts for more.
 
I''d like D to like it, but it''s my wedding dress so as long as I adore it and feel great in it on the day, that''s the main thing.
 
I would not, but I also would never intentionally show my FI my dress. I showed him dresses I liked in magazines and had him do the same so I could get an idea of styles and things he liked. We both like the same shape and strapless, so that was a great start. If he didn''t like a dress I pointed out I asked why and found out a lot of the time it was just one element of a dress that he didn''t like.

Oddly enough my FI has seen my dress but he doesn''t know it. I pulled some pictures from magazines to bring dress shopping and my FI looked through them all and ranked them. He put the dress I ended up getting in the middle, because the model was sitting down and he couldn''t tell what he really thought of the dress. The first store I went to had that dress so I tried it on and fell in love. I won''t tell him that he''s seen the dress because I don''t want him guessing!

I want to feel beautiful but since it''s both of our days I did want to take his opinion into consideration.
 
It depends on his reaction I guess. If he looked at it and said "I hate it! It's the worst dress I've ever seen!" then I would probably look elsewhere. If he just said "Ehh, I'm not a fan." I would go with it anyway. My mom looked at my dress on the model and hated it, but I sent her pics of me wearing it and she loved it. And she's a woman and has way better taste than FI
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I knew that I loved it and I got it even thinking my mom wasn't a fan (I chose to get it before she saw pics), because I knew it was gorgeous.

I'm sure unless your FI absolutely 100% hates everything about the dress, he'll think you look gorgeous in it and won't even notice that it's the dress he said he didn't like.

ETA: FI actually came dress shopping with me because my mom doesn't live near me (nor do my few close girlfriends). With that said, he has very little preference and just gave honest opinions on which were flattering and which weren't, which was very helpful. He didn't have a single opinion on fabric, cut, etc which was awesome because it let me get what I wante.
 
Yes, I would. I really like trumpet style dresses, which DH always said were ugly when he looked at photos. Admittedly, once he saw me in a trumpet style he changed his mind, but I would have bought it had I not found something better. I ended up with a backless sheath dress that he spotted first and liked on me.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 11:42:57 AM
Author: Haven
He''s going to be so knocked out by the way you look on your wedding day that the dress really doesn''t matter. Seriously--he may think he hates lace (or tulle or strapless gowns or . . . ) but he won''t be thinking of any of those things when he sees the woman he''s going to marry walking toward him, on his wedding day, surrounded by white and hairspray and flowers, etc.


He will love it, because it will be in you.
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I agree whole heartedly!


I showed H the dresses I was interested in trying on, he gave me some opinions and marked his top 4. When it came to trying things on, I forget all about his opinions. Since its the first trial, I showed him the pictures and got more opinions. Turns out the ones he like in online pictures, he didn''t like on me! Ha! It also turns out that the ones that look stellar on me, are easy to agree upon. I am not going to show him anything else from here on out in regards to my dress, because it''s important to me it be a surprise.

In the end, all he is going to see and a glowing, beautiful bride, his best friend, that he is going to marry. And no matter what dress you choose, he will be completely taken aback!
 
Heh, my dress is a very weird custom design that I sketched and had made. I have a feeling he''ll think it''s incredibly weird. I''m also pretty sure he doesn''t really care. In fact, I think he''s just happy I am wearing a dress.
 
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