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would you loan a friend some money if he/she really need it ?...

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Dancing Fire

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i know some would say don''t do it because,you won''t be friends anymore.
 
If they needed money and I had it id give them the money.
Friends dont give friends loans.
 
If I could lend without expecting payback soon or at all, yes. Otherwise... no.


That would be about a strictly private friendship. If "frinedship" is between business partners (any sort of "business to business" setting) yes, sure. Between that kind of friends contracts are one way to deal with things.
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for me it would depend on what 'really needs it' means and i assume it's a big amount we are talking here, not like $10 for lunch if they left their wallet at home.

if its for a frivolous purchase then definitely no. if it was for something like opening their own business, then i'd make it an investment in the business, but not expect it back...not as a loan. if they fell on hard times and needed it for something like mortgage payment or something dire like medical, of course i would give it to them, again not loan it.

loaning money amongst friends is a recipe for disaster! i have heard horror stories but luckily have never been in that position to say yes or no. we do have one friend in our group who is very cavalier about money and takes forever to pay back things when we all go in on something (aka a house rental for summer...)...he still owes one of the other friends money from a summer trip last year!

a pet peeve of mine is when people remind you that they bought you lunch or remind you about that $5 from last week, or something tiny. the same guy who takes forever to pay people back is like this and he always nitpicks on the bills too. if we are talking small amounts between friends, esp if someone borrows from me, i figure it is water under the bridge and don't expect repayment...esp if you are good friends with people then it all evens out in the end.
 
I also never "loan" money I can''t afford to give. My DH and I lend money to very few people, and never at amounts so high that we can''t consider it a gift in our minds.
 
I only loan if I can afford to do it without expectations of payback. If I would have to hound the friend to pay me back within a certain amount of time, I don''t do it because that is where friendships are ruined. It also does depend on their need as was stated above. If it is a true emergency, absolutely. If it is to buy a pair of expensive shoes that are on sale, no way.
 
i agree. i would have to be a true need. and i would in part not expect repayment. even within family i wouldnt expect payment back if it was a true financial hardship. (i.e. recently an elderly family member passed away and her funeral expences surpassed what her imediate family could afford. my parents picked up the bill and i do not anticipate repayment within the near future if ever.)
 
I wanted to reply "NO!" but then I remembered something...

Years ago, we scraped--literally--enough money to buy our condo...The morning of the closing, our attorney (who was doing it for free because we were so broke) called us with the final amount we had to bring to closing and it was $500 more than we had been told all along (not uncommon but we were so stretched)...There was no one to call but my best friend, who left work, took $500 out of the bank and loaned it to us.

It took 6 months but I paid her back and took her out for a nice dinner to thank her. If it wasn''t for her, I don''t know what we would have done. Our credit card was maxxed and we had pennies to spare to pull it off. We had already borrowed most of the meager 5% down payment from my in-laws and my mom had no money--she was in the middle of being taken to the cleaners by my father in their hateful divorce.

Becasue the condo doubled in value in just 3 years, we were able to get out house. Then, my husband''s career took off. Today, I drop $500 on a new purse or a pinky ring, or one quick run though Bloomingdales, but I''ll never forget what she did for me. And, I want to work harder at staying grounded because but for the grace of God....

I guess it''s up to the people involved.
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Date: 4/2/2005 9:10:42 PM
Author: strmrdr
If they needed money and I had it id give them the money.
Friends dont give friends loans.
strmrdr
your my best friend.
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Date: 4/2/2005 11:33:20 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
I wanted to reply ''NO!'' but then I remembered something...

Years ago, we scraped--literally--enough money to buy our condo...The morning of the closing, our attorney (who was doing it for free because we were so broke) called us with the final amount we had to bring to closing and it was $500 more than we had been told all along (not uncommon but we were so stretched)...There was no one to call but my best friend, who left work, took $500 out of the bank and loaned it to us.

It took 6 months but I paid her back and took her out for a nice dinner to thank her. If it wasn''t for her, I don''t know what we would have done. Our credit card was maxxed and we had pennies to spare to pull it off. We had already borrowed most of the meager 5% down payment from my in-laws and my mom had no money--she was in the middle of being taken to the cleaners by my father in their hateful divorce.

Becasue the condo doubled in value in just 3 years, we were able to get out house. Then, my husband''s career took off. Today, I drop $500 on a new purse or a pinky ring, or one quick run though Bloomingdales, but I''ll never forget what she did for me. And, I want to work harder at staying grounded because but for the grace of God....

I guess it''s up to the people involved.
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Jenn
yep....same situation with my friend,he needs to borrow 15k to have enough money for a down payment on a house and if i loan him the money i expect him to pay me back,15k is no chump change.i could buy a nice 1.75ct with that kind of money.
 
Date: 4/3/2005 3:24:27 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 4/2/2005 11:33:20 PM

Author: Jennifer5973

I wanted to reply ''NO!'' but then I remembered something...


Years ago, we scraped--literally--enough money to buy our condo...The morning of the closing, our attorney (who was doing it for free because we were so broke) called us with the final amount we had to bring to closing and it was $500 more than we had been told all along (not uncommon but we were so stretched)...There was no one to call but my best friend, who left work, took $500 out of the bank and loaned it to us.


It took 6 months but I paid her back and took her out for a nice dinner to thank her. If it wasn''t for her, I don''t know what we would have done. Our credit card was maxxed and we had pennies to spare to pull it off. We had already borrowed most of the meager 5% down payment from my in-laws and my mom had no money--she was in the middle of being taken to the cleaners by my father in their hateful divorce.


Becasue the condo doubled in value in just 3 years, we were able to get out house. Then, my husband''s career took off. Today, I drop $500 on a new purse or a pinky ring, or one quick run though Bloomingdales, but I''ll never forget what she did for me. And, I want to work harder at staying grounded because but for the grace of God....


I guess it''s up to the people involved.
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Jenn

yep....same situation with my friend,he needs to borrow 15k to have enough money for a down payment on a house and if i loan him the money i expect him to pay me back,15k is no chump change.i could buy a nice 1.75ct with that kind of money.

If he cant afford the down payment he cant afford the house your chances of getting your money are slim.
Are you willing to give him 15k? if not dont make the loan.
my 2c
 
I''m with the others who say it should be a gift if possible.

Of course, a few times I''ve extended a large amount to a friend in need and we call it a loan, mainly because the friend would be uncomfortable accepting a ''gift'' of that amount. With all but 1 situation the money came back. That situation doesn''t bother me, since I gave it freely and I know if/when he can get the money back to me he will. We''ll both be around for a long time yet (knocking on wood).
 
DF, I agree with strm that if he cannot come up with the additional dp then maybe he can't afford the house. There are 0% dp options and also 5% out there if money is that tight, assuming credit is good. Not to mention that it's not just a mortgage one takes on when they buy...they also have property taxes, which depending on where you live can be brutal. Also HOA fees if it's a condo or townhouse, which are a pretty penny nowadays as well. Not to mention utilities and other expenses that sometimes people do not think about.

I definitely believe in getting into the housing market as soon as you can...but I personally feel strongly about doing that on one's own. We could have asked our parents for more $$ for our down, but we had made the decision to do it on our own and if that was not possible, then we were just not ready. So we would have waited until we were. For me something like this is not a necessity for lending $$, not like needing to make rent or be evicted or a medical emergency or something similar.

My parents did chip in and give in the way of window coverings for the house.
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This is situation dependent. I have both given money to freinds and family (thousands), and loaned money to freinds and familiy (thousands). Then when I got into financial difficulty I borrowed money from family (thousands).

Some people will probably never be able to give it back - or it would destroy the relationship to attempt to collect or have an outstanding loan with.

Others are honest and are trying their best to make ends meet and only want temporary help - and intend to pay it back.

All loans have had a written agreement (I insist on that). There are no interest charges. All freinds and familily members have paid back their loans (sometimes it was only $25 per month over years). I paid my loans back.

I would say that the history of loans - and the eventual pay backs - have made things stronger between those freinds and family. We all know that we can get emergency money for things - but we all know that it will not be loaned friviously and we will be expected to pay it back. It keeps us honest in asking for help.

Perry
 
I don''t loan, I give.
 
hummm.....after 1 yr on PS,i just found out there are so many philanthropist here.
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DF, congrats on your 1 year PS anniversary.
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DF,
I second cflutist, happy one year anniversary on PS!!!
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Date: 4/3/2005 5
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9:16 PM
Author: cflutist
DF, congrats on your 1 year PS anniversary.
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One year and look at all the toruble he''s caused.
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We have DF to thank for many a lively topic!
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I forgot to add that I think loaning money is a recipe for trouble. I have given money to a friend in need. I was glad to be able to help.
 
Date: 4/3/2005 1:52:19 PM
Author: Mara
DF, I agree with strm that if he cannot come up with the additional dp then maybe he can''t afford the house. There are 0% dp options and also 5% out there if money is that tight, assuming credit is good. Not to mention that it''s not just a mortgage one takes on when they buy...they also have property taxes, which depending on where you live can be brutal. Also HOA fees if it''s a condo or townhouse, which are a pretty penny nowadays as well. Not to mention utilities and other expenses that sometimes people do not think about.

i know,i went through that 18 yrs ago.i don''t believe in the 0% or the 5% dp options because he''ll be homeless when housing market bubble burst.

I definitely believe in getting into the housing market as soon as you can...but I personally feel strongly about doing that on one''s own. We could have asked our parents for more $$ for our down, but we had made the decision to do it on our own and if that was not possible, then we were just not ready. So we would have waited until we were. For me something like this is not a necessity for lending $$, not like needing to make rent or be evicted or a medical emergency or something similar.

giving money to my children is different from giving it to a friend because,the childrens will get my money soon later,hopefully later
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If someone asked me to loan them money I would first ask myself this question ''Why is this person asking me and not the bank?".

We live in a time where credit and loans are the easiest to get in human history. You don''t have to go down to the bank and beg for a loan, you get something in the mail asking you to fill out an application for a loan or a credit card constantly. So why is this person asking me? If the bank doesn''t consider them a good risk, and the bank can afford to lose millions of dollars and still make a profit, why should I who don''t have millions of dollars to lose take the risk?

If someone was my friend and needed help in an emergency I would consider how much I could afford to give as a gift under those circumstances - but not make a loan that I expected to have paid back. The risk of losing the friendship is too high.
 
The reason a family member or freind may ask you for a loan and not a bank is usually because 1) they need last minute help with an item for a major bank loan (car, house); or 2) the situation is not one that the bank would ever loan money on (help with a divorce, unemployed, or some other personal situations I would rather not elaborate here).

Depending on the situation and the person I have either outright given them the money or loaned the money. I have also borrowed money and been given money when I was in need in recent years as well.

There is nothing wrong with a properely structured loan between freinds and familily for the right reasons - and it does not destroy the relationship either (I can think of 7 such loans off of the top of my head that I have been involved in over the last 20 years, and there may be more, - and all money was paid back).

How good of a freind are they really if they cannot handle a properely structured loan for certain things when they will have the means to pay it back?

While I believe in charity, I also do not believe in supporting people who always want something for nothing; and believe holding people responsible for the money at time is the best for both of us (I think that I have probably outright given the money for certain things at least as often as I have been involved in loans; and I believe that the overall value of the money given is larger than the loans. However, their is a certain personal pride that comes from people being able to repay money they got in certain situations - and a thankfullness that I was able to help them through it in a way that maintains their dignaty).


Perry
 
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