Would you + shoes

[Lekde]

Hi all,

I have a question. I am a TALL bride at 1.5" below 6'. My FI has a few inches on me so we're the same height when I'm in heels. I bought the most awesome Kate Spade shoes this weekend at the oulet and they are VERY close in color to the BM dresses and I wanted to wear them on our wedding day (plus they were a steal!!!!).

If you were an already tall bride would you wear 3" heels and be the same height as FI, but tower over other guests? All of my BM's range from 5'6 - 5'9 (w/o shoes) so I'm not too worried about towering over them. Or should I suck it up and purchase the 1.5" -2" heels I was planning on getting and wear those?

 

[Haven]

Wear the tall shoes!

I'm not as tall as you at just under 5'10", but my DH is just under 5'8", and I wore 5+" heels on our wedding day. I felt like a million bucks, and DH loves a tall woman so it worked out all around.

Seriously, though, I'd say wear whatever makes you most comfortable. I really love being tall, so I went with high heels. If you're going to feel uncomfortable being much taller, then go with the shorter ones.

 

[legallyspoiled]

My FF is roughly 3-4 inches taller than me without shoes. I love high heels but I am torn on whether I want to be the same height as him on our wedding day. The average heel that I wear is 4 inches. I have one or two pairs that are taller and few that are under. Comfort is also another factor that I''m concerned with. Still, I think that I will sacrifice being the same height and comfort for the perfect pair! Plus, I find it extremely difficult to walk in a heel that is between 1-3 inches.

I was actually quite self conscious about our couple height! He is very secure and could care less. I started to pay attention to other couple''s height difference. You would be surprised how many couples are close in height! First Lady Obama is VERY close in height to President Obama. That is why she wears such short heels!

I said all of that to say...if you are comfortable with your height difference, go for the higher heels!

 

[legallyspoiled]

5 inch heels! You go girl!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 4/26/2010 12:42:26 PM
Author: Haven
Wear the tall shoes!

I''m not as tall as you at just under 5''10'', but my DH is just under 5''8'', and I wore 5+'' heels on our wedding day. I felt like a million bucks, and DH loves a tall woman so it worked out all around.

Seriously, though, I''d say wear whatever makes you most comfortable. I really love being tall, so I went with high heels. If you''re going to feel uncomfortable being much taller, then go with the shorter ones.

Ditto to Haven!

Wear the shoes that you love. Kate Spade shoes are gorgeous! Which ones did you get?

I just gotta ask (not just the OP, but anyone who considers this "dilemma") what is wrong with being as tall or taller than your husband? I am also 2" taller than my DH. Is this a bad thing? Do we look weird in our wedding pictuers because we don''t match the stereotypical vision of a shorter bride and taller groom? The amount of times this topic comes up on PS leads me to believe that it is considered a bad thing to be as tall or taller than your husband on your wedding day. I feel like a hypocrite asking this question because I deliberately wore flats on my wedding day (though a large part of this was because my dress was the perfect length for that without alteration... I would have needed extra length to be able to wear heels).

 

[legallyspoiled]

Date: 4/26/2010 2:07:36 PM
Author: Clairitek


I just gotta ask (not just the OP, but anyone who considers this ''dilemma'') what is wrong with being as tall or taller than your husband? I am also 2'' taller than my DH. Is this a bad thing? Do we look weird in our wedding pictuers because we don''t match the stereotypical vision of a shorter bride and taller groom? The amount of times this topic comes up on PS leads me to believe that it is considered a bad thing to be as tall or taller than your husband on your wedding day. I feel like a hypocrite asking this question because I deliberately wore flats on my wedding day (though a large part of this was because my dress was the perfect length for that without alteration... I would have needed extra length to be able to wear heels).

Being as tall or taller than your mate isn''t a bad thing but some (most?) women are used to dating men that are taller than them. When you date someone that is the same height or shorter, it can feel a bit weird. I know some girls who won''t even consider a guy that is shorter than them. It is an "attraction" thing. Likewise, some women don''t feel comfortable being taller than their man with heels on.

I''m comfortable so long as we are the same height when I have heels on. Sometimes I make him get in the mirror so that I can see our height difference before we go out. Silly...I know but otherwise I would feel like a giant and awkward all night.

 

[Erin]

I could do same height but not taller than FI.
Wouldn''t give two thoughts about bridal party or guests.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/26/2010 12:46:24 PM
Author: legallyspoiled
My FF is roughly 3-4 inches taller than me without shoes. I love high heels but I am torn on whether I want to be the same height as him on our wedding day. The average heel that I wear is 4 inches. I have one or two pairs that are taller and few that are under. Comfort is also another factor that I''m concerned with. Still, I think that I will sacrifice being the same height and comfort for the perfect pair! Plus, I find it extremely difficult to walk in a heel that is between 1-3 inches.


I was actually quite self conscious about our couple height! He is very secure and could care less. I started to pay attention to other couple''s height difference. You would be surprised how many couples are close in height! First Lady Obama is VERY close in height to President Obama. That is why she wears such short heels!


I said all of that to say...if you are comfortable with your height difference, go for the higher heels!

Wow, where did you hear that?! I''d be so disappointed if a woman as intelligent and strong as Michelle Obama decided she could only wear low heels simply because she needs to appear shorter than her husband. I might actually lose all respect for her if I found out she were actually that shallow!

 

[legallyspoiled]

Date: 4/26/2010 4:08:29 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 4/26/2010 12:46:24 PM

Author: legallyspoiled

My FF is roughly 3-4 inches taller than me without shoes. I love high heels but I am torn on whether I want to be the same height as him on our wedding day. The average heel that I wear is 4 inches. I have one or two pairs that are taller and few that are under. Comfort is also another factor that I''m concerned with. Still, I think that I will sacrifice being the same height and comfort for the perfect pair! Plus, I find it extremely difficult to walk in a heel that is between 1-3 inches.



I was actually quite self conscious about our couple height! He is very secure and could care less. I started to pay attention to other couple''s height difference. You would be surprised how many couples are close in height! First Lady Obama is VERY close in height to President Obama. That is why she wears such short heels!



I said all of that to say...if you are comfortable with your height difference, go for the higher heels!

Wow, where did you hear that?! I''d be so disappointed if a woman as intelligent and strong as Michelle Obama decided she could only wear low heels simply because she needs to appear shorter than her husband. I might actually lose all respect for her if I found out she were actually that shallow!

I didn''t "hear" it anywhere. Just a simple observation that I have made. When she makes appearances by herself, her heels are slightly taller than when she is with the president.

I wouldn''t be surprised if his "people" requested that she did it for appearance purposes...as to not make the president appear "smaller" (i.e. less powerful). I don''t know. Just a theory...

 

[princessplease]

I would totally do the high heels if that''s what you want!!! Rock ''em girl!

 

[princesss]

Rock those heels! I would totally do it.

I''m 5''10"ish and BF is 6''ish. Soemtimes I wear flats, sometimes I wear 4" heels. Heck, today he bought me a pair of 3.5" heels and I''m loving them. If you feel beautiful, it''ll show, so choose shoes that make you feel gorgeous.

So what if you look a little bit taller? Is the world going to end? Heck no! Everybody will look at you and think how wonderful and confident you two are (and how lucky your FI is to be with such a tall, foxy lady!).

 

[KittyGolightly]

I say, wear those Kate Spades!

I''m 5''9" and my boyfriend is 5''6". I''ll probably wear flats at the ceremony. Flats are more comfortable for me to stand in, and I don''t think anyone will really see them under my dress. Plus, I''d really like for us to be able to gaze into each others eyes without him getting a crick in his neck from looking up at me.

I''m changing into a qipao at the reception, and I may change into heels as well since flats won''t look as nice. I have a pair of gold Jimmy Choo strappy sandals I wore to my sister''s wedding, and I''d like to wear them on my special day as well. They''re only bearable for, like, 20 minutes, so I wouldn''t be be surprised if I end the night in dead sexy isotoners.

 

[caribqueen]

I''d worry less about guests and more about how comfortable I feel next to my FI in the heels at that height.

 

[pancake]

Do it do it do it!

But I''m a self-confessed heels girl. I am coming down from my usual lofty heights (generally 4-4.5" with a platform to make them wearable) to 3" for my wedding, but only because the alterationist cut my hem an inch too short, grrr.

 

[4ever]

Wear the heals!

BF and I are both about 5''10 and I alwasy wear heals when we get dressed up because the make me feel dressy and hot even if I am towering over BF a little, he dosn''t mind and neither do I.

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/26/2010 2:07:36 PM
Author: Clairitek
I just gotta ask (not just the OP, but anyone who considers this ''dilemma'') what is wrong with being as tall or taller than your husband? I am also 2'' taller than my DH. Is this a bad thing? Do we look weird in our wedding pictuers because we don''t match the stereotypical vision of a shorter bride and taller groom? The amount of times this topic comes up on PS leads me to believe that it is considered a bad thing to be as tall or taller than your husband on your wedding day. I feel like a hypocrite asking this question because I deliberately wore flats on my wedding day (though a large part of this was because my dress was the perfect length for that without alteration... I would have needed extra length to be able to wear heels).

I think that a lot of men are the ones who have a problem with this. My husband seems to be the exception because he is more attracted to taller women despite the fact that he''s just under 5''8". However, when we first started dating many of his friends commented on how I wore such high heels even though I''m already 2 inches taller than him.

There can also be the factor of feeling larger as a woman. I''m a larger person than my DH in general, and even though I''m really secure with myself and my size now, there have been times in my own personal history that I wouldn''t have felt secure enough to date a man who was smaller than I am. Now, however, I''m all about it!

As for comfort--I wore really high heels and didn''t feel a thing all day. I think I was on such a high from, you know, getting married and all that nothing phased me. (I didn''t even have to pee all day--and I mean ALL day. I wore my gown for 12 hours straight and never once walked into a loo.)

 

[PumpkinPie]

wear the shoes you love! I''m 5''0 and would love to be taller.. rock what you''ve got

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I am 5'9 and my FI is 6'0. I am going to wear heals, but maybe 1.5 inch ones to give a little height differential. But I don't normally wear heals much higher than that. I don't really care about how tall I am compared to my BM's and guests. My BM's already have a dramatic height differential with my friend being 5'2 and his sister being 5'11.

But do whatever makes you feel comfortable and don't worry about what other's think. If you want to wear 3 inch heals, go for it. My FI's sister did on her wedding day and she is about the same height as you. In fact she asked me if I wanted her to wear flats on my wedding and I told her wear what she wants.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 4/26/2010 6:45:52 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 4/26/2010 2:07:36 PM

Author: Clairitek

I just gotta ask (not just the OP, but anyone who considers this ''dilemma'') what is wrong with being as tall or taller than your husband? I am also 2'' taller than my DH. Is this a bad thing? Do we look weird in our wedding pictuers because we don''t match the stereotypical vision of a shorter bride and taller groom? The amount of times this topic comes up on PS leads me to believe that it is considered a bad thing to be as tall or taller than your husband on your wedding day. I feel like a hypocrite asking this question because I deliberately wore flats on my wedding day (though a large part of this was because my dress was the perfect length for that without alteration... I would have needed extra length to be able to wear heels).

I think that a lot of men are the ones who have a problem with this. My husband seems to be the exception because he is more attracted to taller women despite the fact that he''s just under 5''8''. However, when we first started dating many of his friends commented on how I wore such high heels even though I''m already 2 inches taller than him.


There can also be the factor of feeling larger as a woman. I''m a larger person than my DH in general, and even though I''m really secure with myself and my size now, there have been times in my own personal history that I wouldn''t have felt secure enough to date a man who was smaller than I am. Now, however, I''m all about it!


As for comfort--I wore really high heels and didn''t feel a thing all day. I think I was on such a high from, you know, getting married and all that nothing phased me. (I didn''t even have to pee all day--and I mean ALL day. I wore my gown for 12 hours straight and never once walked into a loo.)

I am 1 inch taller than FI and I hate wearing shoes that emphasize this even more. And I am talking my hiking boots being taller than his tennis shoes when walking the dog. Haven hit the nail on the head for me though, I am already a plus size woman, and I feel even bigger when the height difference between FI and me is made more apparent. But this is something that is personal to me. I am wearing heels one, because of the height difference, but more importantly two, because I have a back problem and simply can''t wear heels!

I don''t see there being anything wrong or odd looking about a woman being taller than her mate. My aunt is nearly 9 inches taller than my uncle, but she wears heels. So I say if you love the shoes, who cares what the height difference is! You should look and feel fabulous on your day in what makes you the most comfortable!

 

[Lekde]

Wow!!!

Thanks for all the reply''s! I am IN LOVE with these shoes. My FI actually is the one that talked me into getting them...

I have attached a picture of the shoes. They really aren''t SO purple in real life, but they are comfy.

Just for the record, I''m NOT self conscious about my height, nor do "avoid" heels because I feel it is a "dilemma" as some have suggested; I just like being shorter than FI. I have dated shorter men in the past.

Thanks for the opinions. They are appreciated.

 

[FrekeChild]

Love them. Wear them.

Then you can join Lady Pirate, myself and others as being Kate Spade shoe brides!

 

[lulu66]

ummm, you HAVE to wear them. first, i

those shoes in that color! second, no biggie to be a bit taller than FI.

my fi & i are basically the same height, 5''8", and i''m wearing 3.5" heels for the wedding.