- Joined
- Mar 29, 2009
- Messages
- 10
I''m normally a lurker but I just really need to get this off of my chest.
This week has been crap. Total crap.
Friday night, after my stepsister''s rehearsal dinner, we went to a friends to hang out. As we were leaving, my boyfriends brother called and told him to go to his dad''s right away. When we got there, his dad was passed out drunk upstairs. A fight had happened between him and their stepmother. Dishes and glass were everywhere but she and their 6 year old were nowhere to be found but BW and Dev. think she was at her new boyfriends house. They also think she''s back on the same drugs she was before they got married.
BW proposed on Saturday, just a couple hours before my stepsister''s wedding. Since BW went to school with the groom, a ton of his friends were there too so we majorly celebrated two things.
Sunday. Father''s Day. BW has to leave for Wisconsin for a week-long training session for work. He drives up with a guy from another dealership. It''s a 6 hour drive. He talked to his dad for around 20 minutes before he left, told him we were finally officially engaged. He was very happy. Dev. had been staying with his dad since she wasn''t and C (their dad) wasn''t doing great. He was on antidepressants and drinking. Heavily. Dev told me that he got up Saturday morning and drank a handle of Jack, before noon. He wasn''t normally like this. He liked to have a couple beers when he got home at night and go out to the lake on the weekends. I had gotten a father''s day card for him from BW and I so I tried calling and texting Dev to make sure they were at the house so I could come by and give it to him. Dev didn''t answer so I drove out anyway since I was close. Ended up putting the card in the mailbox since they weren''t there. I ended up meeting them on the road as I was heading back to town. Texted Dev again and told him where I put the card. He said he''d get it for C so I drove home.
Monday. I get up like normal. BW calls me before his classes start. I go back to my day. A little bit before noon he calls me again and he''s crying. They pulled him out of class and told him to call a good family friend, O. All O would tell him was that he needed to come home ASAP and it was his dad. BW''s mom calls me as I''m on the phone with BW. I told him I''d call him back and answered her call. She told me that Dev had left C''s house for her house at about 7:30 to go to bed for a bit as he had stayed up all night with his dad and at 8 C shot himself. I was told not to tell BW as we thought he was going to drive home at that point. I had my parents call him back since I knew I wouldn''t be able to hold it in. They found him a flight and told him to get to the airport while they were booking it. Poor kid hates to fly already and this would happen to be a small plane. His mom and aunt pick me up and we head for the Lambert which is a little over an hour away. On the way I call D, BW''s best friend, and tell him to call all their friends and tell them not to call or text BW as D and I are the only ones that can handle BW when he''s mad. Small towns, people talk big around here. We didn''t want him going off on some innocent stranger when one of us couldn''t be there to handle him. Get to the airport, plane landed early he already knows because some friends had texted him before his plane took off. He didn''t know how though. He keeps saying that she drove him to it and it was her fault.
We get home and we go visit family and friends. I keep D''s # up on my phone in case we need him though BW said he wasn''t going to say anything to his stepmother about the drugs and adultery until after the funeral. Every time someone else gives him a hug, he starts crying and then I cry even more. So much for me being his pillar of strength. We go to get him clothes because he wanted to stay at my house that night. I was driving. On our way through his hometown he tells me to take him to his dads house. I argue that the cleaning people had just got started and he did not need to see that. We see the town cop, who is a family friend, and stop to talk to him. He is able to talk BW out of going out there. He decides that he''s going to go out to a place we were at earlier, which is only a mile from his dads. Tells cop that. We pull away to head to the other place and he makes me take him to his dad''s anyway. We get there, cleaning crew had just started but they can''t stop you from going in. They had the biggest part of it cleaned up already. He walks through the house and starts crying when we get to the dresser that had his dad''s wallet and keys on it. So do I. We go back to my house.
Tuesday. We wake up and he tells me that it''s a good thing he stayed with me otherwise he wouldn''t have slept at all. I was up every 5 minutes making sure he was asleep. They decide to go make funeral arrangements. When he gets back to my house, he is on the verge of breaking down again. The visitation is tonight. D never got our father''s day card so BW wants to put it in the casket. He is going to take over his father''s business, which I support 1000%. I''m supposed to stand with him and the family during the funeral. Not sure how I''m going to get through that one. And in the obituary, during the survived by I''m in there with BW. Is that normal? He said his dad would have wanted it that way and C did introduce me as BW''s fiance to everyone for the past year. I guess I just don''t know.
I applaud anyone who got through this. Sorry for the rambling/vent. TIA for any advice you might choose to give me/us.
This week has been crap. Total crap.
Friday night, after my stepsister''s rehearsal dinner, we went to a friends to hang out. As we were leaving, my boyfriends brother called and told him to go to his dad''s right away. When we got there, his dad was passed out drunk upstairs. A fight had happened between him and their stepmother. Dishes and glass were everywhere but she and their 6 year old were nowhere to be found but BW and Dev. think she was at her new boyfriends house. They also think she''s back on the same drugs she was before they got married.
BW proposed on Saturday, just a couple hours before my stepsister''s wedding. Since BW went to school with the groom, a ton of his friends were there too so we majorly celebrated two things.
Sunday. Father''s Day. BW has to leave for Wisconsin for a week-long training session for work. He drives up with a guy from another dealership. It''s a 6 hour drive. He talked to his dad for around 20 minutes before he left, told him we were finally officially engaged. He was very happy. Dev. had been staying with his dad since she wasn''t and C (their dad) wasn''t doing great. He was on antidepressants and drinking. Heavily. Dev told me that he got up Saturday morning and drank a handle of Jack, before noon. He wasn''t normally like this. He liked to have a couple beers when he got home at night and go out to the lake on the weekends. I had gotten a father''s day card for him from BW and I so I tried calling and texting Dev to make sure they were at the house so I could come by and give it to him. Dev didn''t answer so I drove out anyway since I was close. Ended up putting the card in the mailbox since they weren''t there. I ended up meeting them on the road as I was heading back to town. Texted Dev again and told him where I put the card. He said he''d get it for C so I drove home.
Monday. I get up like normal. BW calls me before his classes start. I go back to my day. A little bit before noon he calls me again and he''s crying. They pulled him out of class and told him to call a good family friend, O. All O would tell him was that he needed to come home ASAP and it was his dad. BW''s mom calls me as I''m on the phone with BW. I told him I''d call him back and answered her call. She told me that Dev had left C''s house for her house at about 7:30 to go to bed for a bit as he had stayed up all night with his dad and at 8 C shot himself. I was told not to tell BW as we thought he was going to drive home at that point. I had my parents call him back since I knew I wouldn''t be able to hold it in. They found him a flight and told him to get to the airport while they were booking it. Poor kid hates to fly already and this would happen to be a small plane. His mom and aunt pick me up and we head for the Lambert which is a little over an hour away. On the way I call D, BW''s best friend, and tell him to call all their friends and tell them not to call or text BW as D and I are the only ones that can handle BW when he''s mad. Small towns, people talk big around here. We didn''t want him going off on some innocent stranger when one of us couldn''t be there to handle him. Get to the airport, plane landed early he already knows because some friends had texted him before his plane took off. He didn''t know how though. He keeps saying that she drove him to it and it was her fault.
We get home and we go visit family and friends. I keep D''s # up on my phone in case we need him though BW said he wasn''t going to say anything to his stepmother about the drugs and adultery until after the funeral. Every time someone else gives him a hug, he starts crying and then I cry even more. So much for me being his pillar of strength. We go to get him clothes because he wanted to stay at my house that night. I was driving. On our way through his hometown he tells me to take him to his dads house. I argue that the cleaning people had just got started and he did not need to see that. We see the town cop, who is a family friend, and stop to talk to him. He is able to talk BW out of going out there. He decides that he''s going to go out to a place we were at earlier, which is only a mile from his dads. Tells cop that. We pull away to head to the other place and he makes me take him to his dad''s anyway. We get there, cleaning crew had just started but they can''t stop you from going in. They had the biggest part of it cleaned up already. He walks through the house and starts crying when we get to the dresser that had his dad''s wallet and keys on it. So do I. We go back to my house.
Tuesday. We wake up and he tells me that it''s a good thing he stayed with me otherwise he wouldn''t have slept at all. I was up every 5 minutes making sure he was asleep. They decide to go make funeral arrangements. When he gets back to my house, he is on the verge of breaking down again. The visitation is tonight. D never got our father''s day card so BW wants to put it in the casket. He is going to take over his father''s business, which I support 1000%. I''m supposed to stand with him and the family during the funeral. Not sure how I''m going to get through that one. And in the obituary, during the survived by I''m in there with BW. Is that normal? He said his dad would have wanted it that way and C did introduce me as BW''s fiance to everyone for the past year. I guess I just don''t know.
I applaud anyone who got through this. Sorry for the rambling/vent. TIA for any advice you might choose to give me/us.
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