You can change one thing about your partner...what would you change?

[missy]

I asked my DH and he said:

He would like to see a slight shift to a more positive outlook
LOLOL I wish... I have been trying. I will continue trying
I am a worrier and my dh always likes to say my nature abhors a worry vacuum so I always fill it (with worry lol)
He feels my worry gets in the way of my enjoying life
And maybe he is not completely wrong here
I am really working on this
It's challenging because there are so many things to worry about
I think this is genetically programmed and I do believe while we can change some things about our wired reactions it is very challenging to rewire our brains
I am not giving up


My turn:

I would want my DH to be more patient with me.
He is a wonderful supportive loving spouse
And really I am hard pressed to find something I would like to change
But if I have to pick something I would say
Sometimes isn't as patient with me as I would like him to be
And when I remind him he does better
Mainly he is impatient with how much I worry


Sensing a theme here


Having said that I pick choice 3 for my DH


How about you? What would you change?

 

[Begonia]

My DH has depression. I have anxiety. Last night we talked about this very thing. I'd love for both of us to not see the world thru the lens of depression and anxiety.

 

[missy]

My DH has depression. I have anxiety. Last night we talked about this very thing. I'd love for both of us to not see the world thru the lens of depression and anxiety.

It’s challenging because life can be very difficult and bleak. I feel those of us who view the world more realistically are destined to be more blue than those who use rose colored glasses

I occasionally call my dh a Pollyanna but the truth is I admire that quality. I just can’t view life thru filters but admire those who can

 

[missy]

I would make him listen better. I feel that some type of punishment would help. Please post your ideas below!

Lol ok here goes


If he doesn’t listen to you
Then you get new bling
Your choice
Every infraction new bling

 

[seaurchin]

Lol ok here goes


If he doesn’t listen to you
Then you get new bling
Your choice
Every infraction new bling

Whoops, I had already deleted my post, after worrying that someone might not realize it was a joke. (Because yanno, the internet). But I will now reinstate it below lol.

 

[seaurchin]

I would make him listen better. I feel that some type of punishment would help. Please post your ideas below!

 

[missy]

Whoops, I had already deleted my post, after worrying that someone might not realize it was a joke. (Because yanno, the internet). But I will now reinstate it below lol.

Girl I know. Some people have zero sense of humor lol
I thought it was hysterical

 

[missy]

I would make him listen better. I feel that some type of punishment would help. Please post your ideas below!

I had thought of a naughtier answer but decided it might be too much for some PSers

Spoiler

a good spanking, unless he’s into that then you can use it as incentive to listen rather than punishment lol]

 

[tyty333]

I think* I would like mine to be a tad more emotional. I wince as I say that because I had a very stoic Dad so
I'm used to it. A little more emotional = good, too much = bad!

 

[SparklieBug]

I grow weary of "mansplaining"...which my DH is rather fond of. He can't help himself...When I am on the verge of annihilation (of me, him, or both of us due to the 'splaining), I ask him to cease and desist. Most often, he carries on to annoy me further. He thinks it's very funny. And it is. If it's someone else's life, where they're living approximately 8000 miles away and I don't have to witness it.

 

[seaurchin]

I just told my husband there was a thread about if there was one thing you could change about your partner. He said, "I don't listen." See, he knows he's bad!

 

[missy]

I just told my husband there was a thread about if there was one thing you could change about your partner. He said, "I don't listen." See, he knows he's bad!

Did you ask him what (if anything) he would want to change about you? LOL I always ask my DH the questions I post. I (usually) know the answer before he answers though

 

[missy]

I think* I would like mine to be a tad more emotional. I wince as I say that because I had a very stoic Dad so
I'm used to it. A little more emotional = good, too much = bad!

Yea men of our dad's era were more stoic than young men today. I definitely see the difference. I wonder if the men today are more emotionally intelligent or just more emotional

 

[Rebel Rebel]

My husband and I married 6 weeks after we met.
Yesterday was our 42nd anniversary.
We've always gotten along in all ways, and wouldn't change anything.
We both feel very lucky to have each other.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

He whines and complains non-stop. Very negative--it really dampens the mood around here. I am bubbly and happy and positive--his behavior is totally against my nature. He grew up in a culture of complaining (Mother). And he doesn't pick up after himself--piles of clothes everywhere. I think that's enough. LOL

cheers--Sharon

 

[Bron357]

We are total opposites. I’m rather full on, slightly crazy with big emotions.
If the world was ending I’d the one creative and Autistic enough to find a solution while he would the calm, focused and methodical one able to implement it while I screeched at the top of my lungs and bounced off the walls.
Sometimes I wish we met earlier in life, we only had the one child but I think it would have been nice to have had 2 or even 3.

 

[xsouzie]

HI:

He whines and complains non-stop. Very negative--it really dampens the mood around here. I am bubbly and happy and positive--his behavior is totally against my nature. He grew up in a culture of complaining (Mother). And he doesn't pick up after himself--piles of clothes everywhere. I think that's enough. LOL

cheers--Sharon

I think your DH and mine should be BFF! Mind you, we have a hall tree and coat closet mere steps away but he always does this...

 

[Austina]

I wish he was younger. It didn’t matter to me when we got married, but all these year later, I worry about him no longer being around.

 

[canuk-gal]

I think your DH and mine should be BFF! Mind you, we have a hall tree and coat closet mere steps away but he always does this...

LOL. Came home from lunch and where did his coat go...on the Baker bench in the foyer...mere steps from the closet......

 

[xsouzie]

LOL. Came home from lunch and where did his coat go...on the Baker bench in the foyer...mere steps from the closet......

We were discussing this in another forum. This women's husband and I can't stop laughing...he would use the dining room chair to hang his coat and put his shoes underneath it.

 

[canuk-gal]

We were discussing this in another forum. This women's husband and I can't stop laughing...he would use the dining room chair to hang his coat and put his shoes underneath it.

shoes take the cake or pannetone!

 

[xsouzie]

shoes take the cake or pannetone!

Damned straight, shoes take the panettone.

 

[dk168]

No OH to change.

DK

 

[missy]

I wish he was younger. It didn’t matter to me when we got married, but all these year later, I worry about him no longer being around.

Girl, get outta my head!!! LOL. Same. I feel the same worry. Greg isn't that much older than me (7 years) but OMG those years make a difference and men have a shorter life expectance than women generally. I think about that and worry. It is on my mind especially now with the death of Tommy and impending death of Bobby. Death is on my brain. UGH. And my good friend lost her husband unexpectedly this past spring. He was in his 50s What a nightmare. Life would not be the same and I have no desire to continue on without my sweet DH. NONE at all.

I think your DH and mine should be BFF! Mind you, we have a hall tree and coat closet mere steps away but he always does this...

LOL that's my MO hahaha. When Greg and I were dating we traveled to DC for a gala and made the long drive during rush hour. By the time we arrived at the hotel (fancy) I just plopped my coat on the bed and laid down. Well, LOL Greg was like are you going to leave that there? I am your DH.

My husband and I married 6 weeks after we met.
Yesterday was our 42nd anniversary.
We've always gotten along in all ways, and wouldn't change anything.
We both feel very lucky to have each other.

Awww so sweet. Very similar to my parents love story. They were only dating weeks and got engaged. My mom was 19. And they are married 61 years now

I never could have done that because my brain was definitely not fully developed til my 30s LOL. Greg also says that if he had met me in his twenties he wouldn't have been ready for me.

HI:

He whines and complains non-stop. Very negative--it really dampens the mood around here. I am bubbly and happy and positive--his behavior is totally against my nature. He grew up in a culture of complaining (Mother). And he doesn't pick up after himself--piles of clothes everywhere. I think that's enough. LOL

cheers--Sharon

You two balance each other out!!! I was just saying this to my DH yesterday. If we were both like me (type A) it would be miserable.TG Greg is upbeat and positive. Because I am not

We are total opposites. I’m rather full on, slightly crazy with big emotions.
If the world was ending I’d the one creative and Autistic enough to find a solution while he would the calm, focused and methodical one able to implement it while I screeched at the top of my lungs and bounced off the walls.
Sometimes I wish we met earlier in life, we only had the one child but I think it would have been nice to have had 2 or even 3.

Yes completely get this and I feel similarly. Greg thinks I am autistic. I have to laugh but there is a spectrum so maybe I am. But we are opposites where it counts and I am not the calm one

 

[Rebel Rebel]

Missy, your parents' story is just lovely. What a treasure!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i wish Gary was more healthy
even if just the vertigo would go away and he get his balance back