You know, we get a bad rep in here...

[gwendolyn]

...but the description of the forum is "pre-proposal SYNDROMES." Makes me feel like I should be in a hospital, getting multiple IVs with all kinds of beepy monitors going off to monitor my condition.

So, does anyone think we should ask to have it changed? I don''t mind the "pre-proposal" part, obviously, but what do you think it should be instead of the ever so serious-and-clinical "syndromes?" "Pre-proposal therapy?" "Pre-proposal coping skills?" I''m all about the positives here, people! Can you think of another phrase that incorporates what we do here with an air of being helpful and constructive, instead of closeting ourselves and our CRAZY up?

Or...do you think I''m being silly and we should just leave it as it is? Be honest, it''s ok, I can take it!

 

[Bia]

Funny you mentioned that. Everytime I read that, my body reacts...like "ouch!"

They are laughing at us, I just know it!!!!!!!!!

 

[Miscka]

I am all about changing it! Pre-Proposal Experiences? I dunno, but I agree "syndromes" sounds bad.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

When I was in waiting, it was always referred to as "limbo", which was accurate, but depressing. I think "Pre-Engagement Anticipation" or something along those lines gives it a more positive feeling.

 

[gwendolyn]

Hmm, ''anticipation'' is good, gives a more positive vibe. ''Experiences'' is good too although I think that could go either way pretty easily.

 

[sunnyd]

I like anticipation too. LOL...syndromes...I feel like we are always being snickered at. ''Silly little girls waiting for a ring...''

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

What about Pre-Engagement Jitters? Okay, so I just like the word jitters

Even if we change the title of the board, I really feel like some of the worst case LIW''s have defined all of us - which is quite sad, really. Not every woman who participates on this board is throwing tantrums and analyzing every expression or comment their SO makes. Some of us are patiently waiting as calmly and quietly as possible. Heck, some of us are waiting to decide we are ready!

I guess I feel like the LIW stigma is going to be attached to us for as long as there are one or two posters who write about meltdowns or freak outs. Some of you ladies are newer posters but some of you “old timers” will know (probably better than I) that there have been more than a few LIW posters who had some serious freak outs which they posted about and I feel like those threads, which garnished the most attention and responses, definitely gave way to a stereotype of the caliber of posters that are in this area. It seems that there''s a lot of "guilt by association" with the LIW area and I think it’s a reputation this board has indeed earned over time but also one that will probably not be shaken easily.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Goodness, I didn''t even notice that!

 

[Bliss]

Gwendolyn, good catch!

Hahahahaha!!!!!

I think it''s so funny. At least they didn''t put Pre-proposal Disease.

Or Pre-proposal Virus... or pre-proposal disorder... or pre-proposal lunacy.

Hehehehehehe! Makes me laugh. I can''t help it!

Instead of Forum, they could have made it Ladies in Waiting Padded Room.

LOL

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/9/2008 12:20:30 PM
Author: Bliss
Instead of Forum, they could have made it Ladies in Waiting Padded Room.

LOL

Hehehe...

 

[purrfectpear]

At least they didn''t call it the Ladies in Waiting, including the nutcases who are in denial

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Date: 5/9/2008 11:59:28 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

I guess I feel like the LIW stigma is going to be attached to us for as long as there are one or two posters who write about meltdowns or freak outs. Some of you ladies are newer posters but some of you “old timers” will know (probably better than I) that there have been more than a few LIW posters who had some serious freak outs which they posted about and I feel like those threads, which garnished the most attention and responses, definitely gave way to a stereotype of the caliber of posters that are in this area. It seems that there's a lot of 'guilt by association' with the LIW area and I think it’s a reputation this board has indeed earned over time but also one that will probably not be shaken easily.

I completely agree with this... I definitely feel like a Lady-in-Waiting...after all, I am in the stage of pre-engagement. However, I feel like alot of times because of a few postings all of us are lumped into a group of girls who are FREAKING OUT about when/where/what ring/will he/wont he.

In the end...I don't think it matters what they change the name to (although I do like Pre-preposal Limbo) the sigma will be there. And you know what, I'll keep posting with or without the sigma. There are lots of good things about this board and this site. Other postings shouldn't have any effects on how I feel about myself... unless I am the one who is acting a little crazy at the time! haha

BTW... I'm #12 on the list now... does that make me an "old timer"? YIKES!

 

[jitterymo]

Date: 5/9/2008 11:59:28 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

What about Pre-Engagement Jitters? Okay, so I just like the word jitters

Even if we change the title of the board, I really feel like some of the worst case LIW''s have defined all of us - which is quite sad, really. Not every woman who participates on this board is throwing tantrums and analyzing every expression or comment their SO makes. Some of us are patiently waiting as calmly and quietly as possible. Heck, some of us are waiting to decide we are ready!

I guess I feel like the LIW stigma is going to be attached to us for as long as there are one or two posters who write about meltdowns or freak outs. Some of you ladies are newer posters but some of you “old timers” will know (probably better than I) that there have been more than a few LIW posters who had some serious freak outs which they posted about and I feel like those threads, which garnished the most attention and responses, definitely gave way to a stereotype of the caliber of posters that are in this area. It seems that there''s a lot of ''guilt by association'' with the LIW area and I think it’s a reputation this board has indeed earned over time but also one that will probably not be shaken easily.

I LOVE JITTERS!!! great idea

I also like that word! Thanks

 

[Babyblue033]

Date: 5/9/2008 12:20:30 PM
Author: Bliss
Instead of Forum, they could have made it Ladies in Waiting Padded Room.

I vote for this one!

I didn''t notice that it says SYNDROMES, but now that I know I think it''s pretty funny. We should really be able to laugh at ourselves sometimes, we CAN be pretty nutty sometimes

 

[kittybean]

I vote for "Pre-Proposal Experiences," since that truly describes all of the posters here. The "Experiences" may be positive, negative, borderline nutty, or plain crazy, but they are all experiences. Then again, I don''t really mind the "Syndromes" moniker as long as I have a positive community to share my thoughts with.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/9/2008 8:51:05 PM
Author: Babyblue033

Date: 5/9/2008 12:20:30 PM

Author: Bliss

Instead of Forum, they could have made it Ladies in Waiting Padded Room.

I vote for this one!

LOL, "if you can''t beat ''em, join ''em?"

 

[mimzy]

i'm on a LIW anymore, but i was not all that long ago, so i guess my view isn't really that of an outsider. anyways, who are you guys referring to when you say "they" lump you into one big group of nutters? was there something said in a thread that made you think that? and i'm not trying to pick on anyone or anything in this post, i'm just curious what is making you girls say you feel stigmatized

for the most part i think that the majority of the active posters on PS frequent more than one forum here, and recognize that there is a huge variety of people that make up the LIW list. i think the only generalization made about the LIWs is that they don't have rings yet.....which i think is a pretty safe assumption.

people can tell whether you are a nutjob or not by your individual posts (and nothing wrong with that - i was one when i was a LIW!), so don't waste too much energy working about what people think about it. and that's evidenced by the extremely individualized responses that each poster gets when they post a new topic. no one here immediately responds with "CHILL OUT YOU'RE CRAZY" if it isn't warranted. change the description if you see fit, but i don't think that "syndrome" is so terrible: it can encompass excitement, anxiety, nervousness, impatience, giddiness, frustration - really anything that comes along with the time in your life when engagement is pending or hoped for. if you don't feel any of those things, then why did you put yourself on the list? you know? i get really giddy before christmas - is that a syndrome? absolutely! is it negative? not at all.

anybody that takes more than a glance at the board will realize that there are plenty of level headed women on it. i'm pretty sure the 'syndrome' part was meant to be funny - and i think babyblue33 is right, we all need to learn to laugh at ourselves a little bit more.

everyone is respected, regardless of what list you are on

but don't listen to me, i'm just cranky

 

[gwendolyn]

Heya, mimzy! I don''t think it''s the majority or anything, but there have been a few posters (whose names escape me at the moment but it doesn''t really matter) who have come in to say that they think this forum essentially feeds the engagement anticipation frenzy in an unhealthy manner. I think that the occasional new poster *will* come in a bit full on and needs to be calmed a bit, but I think some folks get the feeling that we''re all a bit like that, even though we are a very diverse group of people (not all ladies, even

).

Anyway, I''m ALL for being able to laugh at ourselves, but I think the word "syndrome" alone isn''t obviously a joke--on the internet, in order to make sure something''s being interpreted as its meant to be, I think there needs to be more to go by, which is why I would seriously love it if we were the LIW Padded Room. I have no problems with a joke as long as it''s clear it''s a joke, and I think some people on this board don''t take it as a joke. I think they see us essentially foaming at the mouth, waiting for a proposal. And although I realize changing the description or the name of the forum isn''t going to do much, it''s something, and sometimes all it takes is a little change to have a trickle-down effect. No doubt some people will always see us as rabid engagement beasts, but I think *I''d* be more comfortable with the descriptor if it was clearly either a joke or not.

Man, that was a nice long ramble! Can you tell I''m stalling to get back to coding my data for my dissertation?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

You ladies don''t really get a bad rap, but now that I''ve seen that, i might have to be a little more careful what I post in here. *eek*

You guys are lucky, though - I was here going through what many of you are going through - in the Hangout forum. It was a happy day when Leonid and Irina gave us our own forum.