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5 carat engagement ring dilemma

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Jewlerman speaks wisely. Besides, it sounds like a beautiful diamond, ideal cut or not, and it sounds like she will get to pick a setting that's perfect for her.

Anyone with enough money can buy buy a perfectly cut diamond. A true gift from the heart can't be bought at any price.
 
no question, take the stone as is. I can''t imagine anything more romantic. Just the idea of it makes me swoon! There is plenty of time for other baubles in the future, but this one is just dripping with love and sentiment. What a lucky gal!
 
WOw! If it was me, I would just keep it and be happy. There are thousands of stones out there that are not ideal cut, but still sparkle like crazy.

But I was thinking, is it a round brilliant? If it is, maybe they can ship it to Whiteflash and have them recut it to a H&A A Cut Above.

There are a few people who have already done this and I was thinking about doing this myself with my current diamond. Most everyone did not lose much carat weight at all.

Or they can even fly out there to drop the diamond off if he''s not comfortable shipping it out.

This way, they both get what they want, he gets to give her the diamond he wanted to and she gets her ideal cut...

It''s always an option if it is a round brilliant. Plus, it''s much cheaper to have it recut than to have to buy a whole new diamond, although in this case I am sure money is not a factor.
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I agree with the others, she should take the ring and be thankful!
 
Date: 3/23/2009 12:58:07 AM
Author: jewelerman
take the stone,and just the way it is...no discussion about recut or size or quality...any thought that the stone isnt good enough could be very insulting or misunderstood as selfishness.Play it safe and wear the already impressive diamond as is and wait for the other jewelry to be exactly what she wants...his feeling are the important thing here and if she isnt careful she could put a big dent in the enjoyment of giving and recieving diamonds in the furure.TAKE MY ADVISE...Ive seen men stop giving jewelry as gifts because the early pieces wernt accepted in the right way and they were very hurt to the point of resentment when its time to buy a bday,christmas or Annirversary gift.
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I agree.
 
Is it just me, or is anyone ales in shock that a man was wearing a 5+ct diamond?!?! I don''t think I''ve ever seen that before.
Regardless. I think the sentiment behind it is touching. I would be flattered to accept something that my SO cherished so much. It''s very different than receiving something that was passed down in the family. This was bought for his pleasure and he is willing to sacrifice it so that it can make her happy. I''d take it!
 
Date: 3/23/2009 9:54:43 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 3/23/2009 12:58:07 AM
Author: jewelerman
take the stone,and just the way it is...no discussion about recut or size or quality...any thought that the stone isnt good enough could be very insulting or misunderstood as selfishness.Play it safe and wear the already impressive diamond as is and wait for the other jewelry to be exactly what she wants...his feeling are the important thing here and if she isnt careful she could put a big dent in the enjoyment of giving and recieving diamonds in the furure.TAKE MY ADVISE...Ive seen men stop giving jewelry as gifts because the early pieces wernt accepted in the right way and they were very hurt to the point of resentment when its time to buy a bday,christmas or Annirversary gift.
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I agree.
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Ditto.
 
I''m the opposite. I say be honest now - right from the start. Start the marriage off with honesty. I can''t imagine wearing a diamond that large on a daily basis to begin with. But having went through the ordeal of getting an ering I didn''t like I say she should be honest from the start and at least talk about her feelings.
 
I think it flat out is spoiled of her to state that the diamond may not be good enough for her unless it''s cut is perfect. If it sparkles and is a "showstopper," what why is that gal still asking for more? She should be thrilled that her future husband is so generous.
 
Thanks everyone for all of your replies. I am going to direct her to this discussion. I think it may help her sort out some of her feelings. The diamond is a RB and though it may sound surprising, it doesn''t look strange or out of place on him at all. He is very Italian-looking, in almost a Goodfellas kinda way and it just suits him. I know that a round diamond is not her first choice and has mentioned getting an EC or cushion but doesn''t inherently dislike the round shape either.

I so agree with everyone who mentioned what a sweet, romantic gesture it is. Not too many girls have the opportunity to wear a diamond that once belonged to her sweetheart because so few men wear such jewelry. This is a special circumstance I think.
 
If she really doesn''t want that stone she should say so. But she should be careful that he might just go out and buy her a ring without her input and buy something equally as large and less well cut!
 
If she is set on an ideal cut stone, I think she should see if he''s up for a recut. I understand the meaning behind it, but perhaps if she approaches it with a positve attitude and spin it right, he may just undrerstand. If she''d like a different shape, she can always make the stone into a pendant she wears daily, or something like that. I think its a sweet gesture, and that she should be honest, but tasteful about it. Also, about the "ideal cut" if the stone sparkles like mad when she looks at it, then there isnt any reason to get it recut. However, if it just doesnt do it for her cut wise, and it will bother her, I say ship it to Brian Gaven and have them re-cut it. Then she still has the old stone that was his, but with a "new" flare to it.
 
I think honesty is important, but so is sensitivity. This stone means a lot to him, and if she does not like it or want it for ANY reason, she can let him know that she wants a different SHAPE of diamond. She should in no circumstance criticize or insult a diamond that is clearly very precious to him. She would be very cruel to do so.

If she wants an EC, then let him know that. No recutting, no looking for or at certifications, either take it as is with a lovely new setting, or let him know that a different style of diamond is more her cup of tea. I would say nix RB''s altogether to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.

my .02
 
if she really doesn''t want it...I''LL TAKE IT
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Date: 3/23/2009 7:39:40 PM
Author: atroop711
if she really doesn''t want it...I''LL TAKE IT
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Ditto, or we could cut it into two stones of a shape of our choice!
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Just kidding!
 
I guess she could be completely honest about her feelings and ask for a recut of his gift...make it perfect ...so she wont mind if he brings it up when she gains a few pounds or wears the wrong color or hair style...
 
HI:

Jasmine: Please let us know how this unfolds!

cheers--Sharon
 
I also agree with everyone else..accept the wonderful sentimental meaning behind the ring and keep the other factors regarding cut out of the picture.

I speak from experince regarding hurt feelings ( men are even more senstive when it comes to gift giving.. they take it as a personal - not good enought to please you - stance )

During my first marriage, my husband gave me a lovely diamond cocktail type ring. Having two very young sons, and not going out much, I told him I was very touched but felt funny about accepting it. I did not work, we had bills,and did not think it to be practical at all. He said fine, I took it back, and later found out it was the biggest mistake I could of made. He was so hurt that I did not keep it. He was proud of going and picking it out ( told all his co workers )

I did not realize this till much later when it was too late. He was really hurt, and would not pick out anything for me again..
 
Date: 3/23/2009 10:49:39 PM
Author: jewelerman
I guess she could be completely honest about her feelings and ask for a recut of his gift...make it perfect ...so she wont mind if he brings it up when she gains a few pounds or wears the wrong color or hair style...
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LOL!!!
Good point jewelerman!

I don''t really have an opinion on this subject btw. For me, five carats would just be WAAAAYY too big, and I wouldn''t want to wear it for that reason. But, I''m also not the type to date a "goodfella" looking guy either (not saying there''s anything wrong with that, I just am more drawn to the plain and simple ones
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). If I WERE the type to wear five carats, I''d probably think that this was a time when you should just let the "cut is king" rule slide. It''s a very sweet gift--- not to mention the five carat showstopper--- and I''m SURE she''ll have plenty of time in the future to get some perfectly cut diamonds. It doesn''t sound like this will be the last diamond she gets!
 
A 5.5 carat ring is a 5.5 carat ring. I''d take it, and be psyched, no matter what the cut was.
 
"Oh darling, it''s perfect. Well....not really perfect, I mean it was good enough for you but it''s not really good enough for me. Sweet, but could I just send this off to have it recut?"

Yeah, that''s a conversation that''s bound to spark romance
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Seriously, if he stands for that...he deserves her.
 
Date: 3/23/2009 9:59:30 AM
Author: CrookedRock
Is it just me, or is anyone ales in shock that a man was wearing a 5+ct diamond?!?! I don''t think I''ve ever seen that before.

Regardless. I think the sentiment behind it is touching. I would be flattered to accept something that my SO cherished so much. It''s very different than receiving something that was passed down in the family. This was bought for his pleasure and he is willing to sacrifice it so that it can make her happy. I''d take it!
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No, you weren''t alone, CR--I was rather surprised he was rockin'' a 5 carat stone too! And I agree with your stance too; with such a sweet gesture behind it, there is no dilemma in my eyes.
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She might not even want to wear a 5.5ct stone - sorry but there is no way I would wear such a large stone. I don''t care for the look of them, and it would be totally impractical.
 
Date: 3/24/2009 5:52:16 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 3/23/2009 9:59:30 AM
Author: CrookedRock
Is it just me, or is anyone ales in shock that a man was wearing a 5+ct diamond?!?! I don''t think I''ve ever seen that before.

Regardless. I think the sentiment behind it is touching. I would be flattered to accept something that my SO cherished so much. It''s very different than receiving something that was passed down in the family. This was bought for his pleasure and he is willing to sacrifice it so that it can make her happy. I''d take it!
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No, you weren''t alone, CR--I was rather surprised he was rockin'' a 5 carat stone too! And I agree with your stance too; with such a sweet gesture behind it, there is no dilemma in my eyes.
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Thanx Gwen! I thought I was stonding alone! I live in a pretty affuluent place and I really have never seen anything even remotely close! I want to see this ring!
 
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