A vent about stress and health and money and work permits

[gwendolyn]

I think I have been making myself ill with stress. I was sick for about 3 weeks from the end of April to the middle of May and couldn't eat anything other than the most basic foods (crackers, Ramen noodles) otherwise I'd be sick. I went to the doctor, she said it didn't sound like I had a virus or infection because then I wouldn't be able to eat anything at all, so she said she thought I was making myself ill from stress. She prescribed some anti-nausea meds, and after a week on them, I was ok again.

That lasted for a week. Halfway through J's visit this week, I got upset about money. I have been financially independent since I was 18 (am 30 now), putting myself through college, etc. This year of grad school has had lots of hidden costs that have caught me by surprise at a time when I have no extra money. I am working in the library here at school, but that brings in pocket change. Before coming to grad school, I had four jobs in order to pay all the bills and be able to visit J. That isn't an option here in the UK because I am limited by both my work permissions on my student visa and the time I need to do my school work. I am almost out of money and am stretching it out until July 14th when I can leave here. Anyway, halfway through J's visit, I found out my school wanted an extra £228 because my housing contract doesn't extend to the end of my schoolyear (bwa?!). £228 is roughly US$450. And they want it in CASH. Sorry?! I am scraping by with about 1/4 of that in my bank account and it is for FOOD. I realize it would not have been great in the long run to put that much on a credit card, but I would have preferred that than having to ask to borrow it. J had previously told me he'd take care of it, but I didn't want to ask him to. I am used to taking care of myself, and I tried really hard to think of another way (maybe move out of the room and stay somewhere less expensive, but all that time moving and repacking would be time not used to finish my thesis, so no--could stay with J which would be free but he is 200 miles away from the library that I will need). Anyway, I ended up getting myself all knotted up over it and got sick again starting the next morning.

I don't know how to keep myself from stressing. I am trying to just focus on this paper (which, ironically, isn't the main cause of my stress), but people are nosy and are always asking what is going on with my life--how many jobs I've applied for so far (about 100), if I've had any interviews yet (no), why not (it's complicated), where will we be living (no idea yet, depends on where I can get work), why don't we just go back to the US (because I am not ready to get married and for J to come with me we'd have to get married within 90 days). (J is from the UK and I am from the US; I am currently in the UK completing a master's degree and want us to live together before we get married since we've been long-distance for 3.5 years.) And the work situation is further complicated by the fact that I don't currently have permission to work full-time in the UK. My student visa comes with 20 hours per week, which is good, but not enough for me to support myself. J is going to move to wherever I get a job, so he isn't already set up either, and he's making very little money where he currently is (working for the family business). We have nowhere to live yet. I have ten years of teaching experience, but most of the placement agencies here aren't recognizing my qualifications. We originally wanted to move to Manchester, but have now expanded the search to 'anywhere that will give me a job,' so it's harder for J to job search because he has no idea where we'll be (although it's looking increasingly likely it will be in London). An additional strike against me is that they'd either have to sponsor me for a work permit (which is time consuming and expensive, unless they make me pay for it), or wait to hire me until my International Graduates Scheme visa goes through, which I can't apply for until I get my actual physical degree, which won't be until September or October, meaning I won't be able to start work until the school year has already started. On top of all this, there are bills back home in the US that need to be paid. I have money sitting there to pay my monthly bills, but only enough to get me through September. In short, NOT GOOD.

So, I don't know what to do to get myself well and keep me that way. I am trying to look at it that things may be rough at the start, but that even if J and I have to live in a tiny, horrible, nasty cheap place, we should be able to squeak by and at least we'll be together, but I have to say that the idea of that rather disappoints me. I am about to graduate with a master's degree from Cambridge. I should be able to find a job where I at least can make ends meet, you know? But most of the people I've talked to seem to think I am only qualified to work as a teaching aide here (which kind of makes me want to be sick again, considering I did that job before and made enough money that I was only just barely above the poverty line). I've applied to a few jobs outside of teaching but still sort of in the education field (charities for education and disability), and am going to sleep at night crossing all my fingers and toes that I will at least get to interview for them, since they seem like my best bet at the moment!

And all of that while I'm trying to write a 20,000-word paper so I can not waste all the money I invested in this degree and actually pass after I submit my paper in July.

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading (especially if you got all the way through it!). And if anyone knows any tips on how to de-stress, please let me know. I need them.

 

[claireabelle]

Oh, sweetie... it's awful to hear that you're stressed.

I suffer a lot from stress and a bit of anxiety. It's just awful - it opens the door to an overwhelming amount of physical health problems and other emotional issues... NOT FUN!

I have to give you credit though, because you would never even notice that you're dealing with all this rubbish in your life. You're so positive and vibrant, which is fantastic. It says a lot about your character.

Here are a few things I do to make myself feel more positive and relaxed during times of intense stress.

SLEEP - a regular sleeping pattern works wonders! Try to go to bed by 9.30 and wake up early (6am). Getting up early makes me feel great - the day seems much longer, you're more productive, more motivated, less rushed. It's fantastic.

VITAMINS - make sure you take a womens multi - vit c and iron are really important when you're a busy bee...

WATER - make an effort to drink LOOOAADS of water (about 3x what you think you need!).

ONE THING AT A TIME - don't give yourself unrealistic goals for the day/week/month/whatever. You'll just stress yourself out. Look at what needs to be done and prioritize. Be reasonable! Don't expect too much of yourself. You're only human. Some things can wait.

TALK TO PEOPLE / ASK FOR HELP - Let people know about your workload and don't be afraid to ask for help (esp. J - I don't think it's unreasonable at all to ask J if he can lend you money in your time of crisis! That's what you do when you love someone - and I'm sure you would do it for him in a heartbeat!!!)

BE PERSISTENT with your job applications. Just get out there and get in peoples faces. Bugg them, keep sending emails. Don't take no for an answer. If that doesn't work you could try to...........

....EXPLORE OTHER AVENUES - if you're struggling to get work in your area of expertise, perhaps it's a sign that you're meant to do something completely different for a little while until you return to the US?

You need chaos to appreciate harmony. I know it's a bitch now, but you'll look back on these times with a sense of achievement and self-satisfaction.

 

[gwendolyn]

Thanks, sweetiepie. I am already doing about half the stuff on your list, but I will definitely keep it up and try the rest of the things you suggest. Thank you for taking the time to read my novel of a post! *hugs*

 

[LegacyGirl]

I know it''s hard but you will get through this. **HUGS** When you feel yourself getting stressed out again just stop and try to breathe for a second. After all you won''t be able to accomplish what you want to when you make yourself sick. For the time being if your SO is willing to help out I would take the help just this once. You need to finish your thesis, not be concerned with how the school is screwing you. I just had sort of the same situation and I know how horrible it is. Pay your SO back when you can. I know its hard to accept help but sometimes you have to do it.

 

[Deelight]

Oh Gwen you poor bugger

,
For the stress I find that controlled breathing (slow deep breaths and focus on your breathing) and self talk (In your head just try and talk through the issue as you go) works really well I suffer from anxiety from time to time and really this helps me to calm down and control how I feel. Peppermint tea also helps with the nausea and chamomile tea will help you relax and sleep .

I find it hard to believe that with a masters you would only be qualified to be a teacher aide that just sounds absurd really, I could be wrong but I have done 3 years of my undergrad teaching degree (currently deferred) and it would not be an issue for me to find work in the UK from here once I finished my degree quite a few recent grads do it all the time. I know there are specialised teaching recruitment companies that will help you to find work and get visa''s and such have you had an opportunity to contact one of them?

I found one they might be a good start http://www.axcis.co.uk/

Good luck with everything Chin up chickie

 

[gwendolyn]

LegacyGirl--thanks! I know I need to focus on my work, and I''d *thought* I was doing that during that week that I was well again. And then, bam! It''s like the control I had just evaporated. But you''re right, maybe if I keep focused and let myself pay J back later then I will stop making myself ill. Thank you!

Deelight--hey babe, thanks for the tips about dealing with anxiety. I never in my life have felt anxious before but this year has opened so many new things to me!

I will definitely try those out and see if they help.

Thank you also for the link! I have already applied to that company. You''re in the UK, yes? It''s different if you''re from here than if you''re international. They need extra bits and bobs in order to demonstrate that you are qualified (why 10 years of experience wouldn''t count I have no idea), and as an overseas teacher, I would need a teaching license for them to place me, which I don''t have because I didn''t need it to teach where I was in the US. I had my bachelor''s in instrumental music education, and that was all I needed. Here I need either a PGCE or my teaching license, and I have neither. I will not sign up to take the PGCE because it takes a year and by then, I hope J and I will be back in the US. One of those companies like the one you linked to has said it is going to try to see if any independent schools in London will take me, since they don''t need the teaching license for some reason?

Anyway, it all makes me feel quite frustrated, since I am (sorry if this is egotistical) a good teacher and they would be getting a deal, hiring me as an unqualified (in their eyes) teacher, since I have 10 years of experience! And that doesn''t even count the master''s from Cambridge in inclusive & special education! *takes deep breaths*

It''s additionally frustrating because, if I felt ready to get married, J and I could just move to the US and I could teach there and have the job I got the master''s for with WAY less problems. But I am NOT ready to get married, and that sucks because everything is now 100 times harder because of it. I realize this is just how it is, but I can''t help wishing I felt differently.

 

[Delster]

Aw gwen I''m so sorry. You''ve got a lot on your plate and I know the feeling. I''ve had no income for the last three years bar a paltry scholarship that is one third of what BF got for his PhD (Humanities always end up the poorer cousin!). My scholarship doesn''t even cover my fees. In fact, after fees I have had only €6k to live on for the last three years. And due nasty circumstances I won''t get in to here, I haven''t even received all of that money. In reality I''ve lived on €3k for the last three years.

The only reason I''m not in more debt is that my parents and BF have basically housed me and fed me for the last two years. After supporting myself since my undergrad (and for the most part through my undergrad too) that was so hard to accept. I''ve just had to swallow my pride though. I am learning humility and gratitude in a big way. Both my parents and BF swear they never want to be paid back, that they do this entirely because they love me and they expect nothing in return, but come hell or high water I will find some way to make it up to them.

I think you should accept the support from J. Let him do this for you. He knows you will pay him back and you know you will pay him back. Let him show his faith in you by doing this for you.

I wish I had something I could offer to help with the job search but I''m afraid I''m clueless and useless there. Take care of your health pet. Claireabelle''s advice is all good I think. Remember we are here for you any time you want to vent, and we''re all rooting for you!

 

[Deelight]

I hope it helps anxiety sucks but it can be manageable like everything else

I am in Australia in QLD and our teaching system is a little different then the rest of the country it is stricter.

In QLD you need to have an S rating (kind of like a license) amongst other things (which you get on your final prac where you are assessed in your ability to teach) these go from 1-3, S1 your great you will find a job most likely, S2 you will but may have a little more trouble, S3 you can teach part-time and then there is T4 which if you get your stoofed and are not able to teach in a govt school, you can re-sit these later though. However these ratings do not apply to non govt run schools so you can work in a private school even with a crap S rating or no S rating at all.

Will they let you apply for the license is that possible? Would you happy working at an independent school? The masters has to count for something my thoughts would be that you might find it easier to find work there, can you apply as a teach aide till you finish your masters to get your foot in the door?

 

[iheartscience]

No brilliant new advice here, but I just wanted to say I''m sorry!

Also, I think you should just take J up on his offer to pay your housing fee-in a relationship, sometimes you have to lean on each other, emotionally and financially. You can always pay him back once you''re working.

 

[gwendolyn]

Heya, Delster. Yeah, you know the sort of feeling I''m going through. The thing is that J can''t afford to support me until I get a job of my own after the visas clear, so it''s left up to me. When I was applying for school loans to come here for grad school, the banks were tightening down on the amounts they were lending out and ended up leaving me US$12,000 short (well, $15,000 in the end, but that''s another story). As a result, I ended up borrowing some money from my parents which I HATED doing. My dad has been gracious about it, saying I should pay them back when I can, but my mom is kind of mentally unbalanced (really) and she has said multiple times that she wants all the money as soon as I finish school, in July!

Um, unless I am robbing a bank, it is absolutely impossible for me to have that money before having a job (and I almost never use the word ''impossible'')! My dad says to ignore her, but there is that looming over my head as well. I''d forgotten about it because there''s nothing I can do about it right now.

I am a hard worker, and I would feel SO much better if I knew I had the choice to work 7 different crappy jobs if it meant I could pay the bills and survive. But I DON''T have that option here in the UK, because I am limited by my work permission on my student visa. That, plus not having an SO with a decent-paying job kind of makes me freak out, and I am trying so hard not to because I know there''s only so much in our situation that we can control, but it''s really hard not to. I''m used to being more in control of my life, and creating my own safety net under me. I just feel like I''m headed for the edge of a cliff and have no idea what''s waiting at the bottom for me--trampoline, water, nice sharp rocks?

Anyway, thanks for listenin''. I really do appreciate it.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 11:21:25 AM
Author: Deelight
I hope it helps anxiety sucks but it can be manageable like everything else


I am in Australia in QLD and our teaching system is a little different then the rest of the country it is stricter.


In QLD you need to have an S rating (kind of like a license) amongst other things (which you get on your final prac where you are assessed in your ability to teach) these go from 1-3, S1 your great you will find a job most likely, S2 you will but may have a little more trouble, S3 you can teach part-time and then there is T4 which if you get your stoofed and are not able to teach in a govt school, you can re-sit these later though. However these ratings do not apply to non govt run schools so you can work in a private school even with a crap S rating or no S rating at all.


Will they let you apply for the license is that possible? Would you happy working at an independent school? The masters has to count for something my thoughts would be that you might find it easier to find work there, can you apply as a teach aide till you finish your masters to get your foot in the door?

You're in Australia! Sorry, I should've remembered that--I lived in Aus back in 2000 for 6 months and it was the best time of my life, so I tend to remember who's an Aussie around here.

Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, in the US it doesn't work like that. Everyone who wants to teach gets a degree in some field of education. Then, when they graduate, depending on the school system, they either get hired straight away or have to take a test in order to obtain a teaching license or certification. If you teach in a private school, usually you don't have to bother with it, and in the schools where I taught, I didn't need it.

I finish my master's in mid-July, so all my applications have been to teach here in the UK starting the following September, when the school year starts up again. I'd be perfectly happy working an an independent school! I'd be happy working at any type of school at this point, truth be told. I cannot get a teaching license for the US while here in the UK as far as I'm aware, and I think I'd have to have a job contract in the US to make it legit anyway (I think, am not sure), so that would either mean a) J and I getting married before I'm ready, or b) us having another year of hellish international long-distance relationship. Lose-lose.



Thing2of2: Thanks, darlin'! Yeah, I know, I need to not be so proud. I did take the money and am not upset about it anymore, but I think that's what spiraled me into getting sick again. Not sure how to undo that.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I am sorry to hear you are going though all this. I know how tough grad school can be.

I agree with the above, healthy diet (to the best of you ability), regular sleep. Also some exercise can help, such as going for a walk. I agree that stress can cause physical symptoms. I get the worse headaches when things are not going so well in my life. But, I don''t know if your doctor''s statements are toally true about the virus and you not having an appitite. So if you are continuing to have nausa so bad that you are loosing weight without trying, expecially if things in your life have calmed down. I would get recheked just to make sure something elce is not going on.

I wish there was something more I could say and hope things get better.

 

[Deelight]

Actually I think apart from South Australia the rest of the Oz is much the same, you get your teaching degree but you don''t have to get rated and registered. The thing that sucks about QLD is just because you do a 4 year degree it means diddly if you don''t score well on your final prac. Also if you graduate out of state you have major problems here as well I know one of my prac teachers came up from NSW and she was not able to get a job in QLD in a govt school due to the fact of not having a rating so she taught in Catholic Ed instead.

I hope it all works out in your favour, I am sure it will Stay positive

 

[Independent Gal]

AW, sweety. That sounds lousy.

This may sound weird, but have you ever meditated? I don''t do it myself, but my dad does and he swears by it. And truly, he is a different person now that he does it.

Another GREAT stress relief is exercise. This time of year is so pretty in Britain... how about taking a very brisk walk for an hour every day? I bet it would do wonders.

And girl, you have GOT to try to eat properly. Inadequate nutrition (ramen noodles are toxic! toxic I say!) will definitely not help.

You can do this! You can get through it! You will not lose a limb! You will manage and it will be OK!

 

[onedrop]

Gwen: My heart goes out to you as you try to untangle all of the issues of your situation. Luckily there are others on PS that have given really great advice already. But I think the main thing is try and attack one thing at a time. There is no way to do ALL of what you have to do at once. Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself. {{{{Hugs}}}}

BTW: I had no idea the immigration/work permit situation in the UK was as full of red tape as it is here in the US.

 

[Delster]

Date: 5/25/2008 11:25:56 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Heya, Delster. Yeah, you know the sort of feeling I''m going through. The thing is that J can''t afford to support me until I get a job of my own after the visas clear, so it''s left up to me. When I was applying for school loans to come here for grad school, the banks were tightening down on the amounts they were lending out and ended up leaving me US$12,000 short (well, $15,000 in the end, but that''s another story). As a result, I ended up borrowing some money from my parents which I HATED doing. My dad has been gracious about it, saying I should pay them back when I can, but my mom is kind of mentally unbalanced (really) and she has said multiple times that she wants all the money as soon as I finish school, in July!

Um, unless I am robbing a bank, it is absolutely impossible for me to have that money before having a job (and I almost never use the word ''impossible'')! My dad says to ignore her, but there is that looming over my head as well. I''d forgotten about it because there''s nothing I can do about it right now.

I am a hard worker, and I would feel SO much better if I knew I had the choice to work 7 different crappy jobs if it meant I could pay the bills and survive. But I DON''T have that option here in the UK, because I am limited by my work permission on my student visa. That, plus not having an SO with a decent-paying job kind of makes me freak out, and I am trying so hard not to because I know there''s only so much in our situation that we can control, but it''s really hard not to. I''m used to being more in control of my life, and creating my own safety net under me. I just feel like I''m headed for the edge of a cliff and have no idea what''s waiting at the bottom for me--trampoline, water, nice sharp rocks?

Anyway, thanks for listenin''. I really do appreciate it.

Trampoline, trampoline, trampoline! You''re gonna trampoline right on into that wonderful future ahead of you, oh yeah

I got that that J was just loaning you the moolah for the sneaky surprise school fees. You are fantastic to have supported yourself for a year in England what with the currency situation and all. Be proud. You have done fantastically. It sucks about your Mom, but just trust your Dad and pay it back as you can and when you can. You''ve already proven you''re good with money. Your Dad trusts you to get there and you will.

Hang in there, it will work out.

Take Indy''s advice on the food and the exercise yeah? I noticed you post on the Brides weight watchers thread so I know you''ve got that under control. If you ever want support on the research/uni end of things we can start a little study support group too if you want. It''d for sure help me!

 

[gwendolyn]

LtlFirecracker: Hey hon, thanks very much! I have been sleeping a fair amount and exercise a lot since I walk everywhere (like to get to town which is 4 miles round-trip). I think if this keeps up, I will see my doc again and ask for some tests to make sure there isn''t something more than stress causing it.

Deelight: Oh, that''s really interesting that each state does it differently, and yeah, I bet that would cause trouble for people moving in. I am definitely going to try to stay positive here that everything will work out! I used to have this great quote in my sig: "Everything will work out in the end. If it''s not ok, it''s not the end." I just have to remember it.

IndyGal: Hmm, meditation (haha typed ''medication'' first by mistake

) is something I hadn''t thought of. I could definitely give that a try. I do get some exercise as I mentioned to Firecracker--since I have no car and no money, I walk everywhere, so I usually end up walking about 16 miles or so a week, but I don''t have anything set up regularly, so I might try that, first thing in the morning. As for the eating properly, I honestly don''t know what to do! Any food that''s not crackers and Ramen (just the noodles), er, comes right back out again, one way or another (sorry, I know that''s gross, but that''s my main problem right now). And sometimes the crackers and Ramen don''t stay in the stomach either. So I don''t know what else to do. Is it better to just not eat anything? The doctor told me to gradually start eating more complex food (like plain pasta, then pasta with sauce) but if it comes right back out again, I sort of don''t see that as successfully being able to eat it, y''know? So I stick with the stuff that''s usually ok and then try again when I''m feeling less sick. Today = not one of those days, I''ve been sick off and on for over 18 hours. Not fun. But eventually it will all go away! Hopefully with all my limbs intact.

onedrop: Thanks, sweetie! I know it doesn''t sound like it, but I really have been trying to take care of myself. I got my first chapter done of my thesis early so I could totally relax when J came to visit and was having a LOVELY break until I got all worked up about money and my school situation. Bah humbug. Anyway, YES, the immigration situation is at least as full of red tape as it is in the US. I think the lovely Addy told me it''s actually easier for J and I (eventually) to get married there than the UK because there''s less fees and fewer hoops to jump through!

Delster! AHAHAH, I LOOOOOOVE your avatar!!!! Your eyes are beeyootiful and, you''re right, unlike any others I''ve seen! Stunning!

You are gorgeous, dahlink!

Thanks for the trampoline chant

, I totally needed it! Yeah, I hate hate HATE borrowing money and kind of feel like a failure that, at my age, I would need to, but I think getting this degree will be worth it in the end, even if the UK isn''t making me feel that way at the moment! *shakes fist at whole country*

And aye, I''m trying to eat healthily which is why I posted in the Brides'' weight thread, there''s just nothing for me to report if the only thing I can keep down in 3 crackers a day. And yeah, maybe a study support group could help get my butt in gear--I''ve got to have another 5000 words by Thursday and I currently have 268, which I wrote today, while feeling like death warmed over. Not adequate progress!

 

[Independent Gal]

Honey, is there... uh... any chance you''re, y''know, KNOCKED UP?

Just a thought. What with all the puking and everything.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 2:08:31 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Honey, is there... uh... any chance you''re, y''know, KNOCKED UP?


Just a thought. What with all the puking and everything.

No, I thought that the first time (the span of 3 weeks of throwing up), so I took a test and it came up negative. When I saw my doctor, I told her that was a concern and asked if she''d retest, but she said no because I''d have other symptoms like breast tenderness.

 

[Independent Gal]

Test again! False negatives are common early on.

Has Aunt Flo been to visit?

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 2:19:15 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Test again! False negatives are common early on.


Has Aunt Flo been to visit?

That''s why I wanted the doctor to test again but they would only do it if I got a positive. Also, I am on a version of the pill (Cerazette) that commonly causes women to stop bleeding; I haven''t bled in months (which was one of the reasons I was worried I could be preggers). My doc essentially scolded me like a kid for forgetting that my pill often causes women to stop bleeding and that the chances are very minimal that I''d get pregnant on it. I don''t know how ''early on'' it would''ve been at the time--I saw her at the beginning of May, and hadn''t seen J since the end of March.

 

[Independent Gal]

Wait wait. You saw the doc or your 'Auntie' at the beginning of May?

How soon after seeing J did you test?

 

[Delster]

Gwen honey to be honest Indy''s thought occurred to me too but I didn''t say anything because you''d mentioned before about your BCPs. Can''t hurt to test again.

Thanks for the compliments on the wolf eyes

I''ll start a wee support thread in the morning. We''ll get through the research part together, and the BWW thread will get you through the healthy eating, and the money and career worries will sort themselves out in time. I promise.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 2:50:49 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Wait wait. You saw the doc or your 'Auntie' at the beginning of May?


How soon after seeing J did you test?

I saw J March 31st. I saw my doctor May 2nd. I tested on May 1st. I was in the US for the month of April.

I saw your previous post--I don't currently have another pregnancy test (used them both up when I tested before), and since it's 8pm on Sunday, nothing's open tonight, and tomorrow's a bank holiday, so the pharmacy is closed tomorrow too. J says the doctor might even be closed tomorrow too. Lovely.

Delster, yeah, pregnancy was the first thing I thought of back in April, but the way my doctor talked to me about it made me feel like I was overreacting to worry about it at all. But, yeah, can't hurt to test again, except that gives me another thing to worry about until I can get my hands on another pregnancy test.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh no! I didn''t mean to stress you out more.

But I would definitely test again just to make sure since the test you did could have been several days too early to get an accurate result, depending when you ovulated.

If you were pregnant, it would be a shocker, sure. And it would force some fast decisions, but would it necessarily be so bad? I mean, you''ll be done your education. And you love J and you guys want to get married, right? What does J think about it?

OK, here I go probably stressing you out again.


Baaaaad Indy!

But we''re all here for ya girl!

 

[Independent Gal]

One more thing. You know it would have cost the doctor, like, 50p for a strip to test you. What''s the big deal? I''m mad at her.

 

[Delster]

Gwen based on what you''re saying I do think it''s unlikely. You had been feeling sick for three weeks before you tested, so chances are you didn''t test too early, and the doctor gave you the all clear. Test again on Tuesday just to be sure but please try not to worry too much in between.

If the worrying is too much, out-of-hours pharmacies should be open tomorrow and Monday (I didn''t know it was a bank holiday there this weekend - what''s it for?). I found the website listing those in Cambridge (here it is) but it''s being updated, grrrr.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:12:22 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Oh no! I didn't mean to stress you out more.

But I would definitely test again just to make sure since the test you did could have been several days too early to get an accurate result, depending when you ovulated.


If you were pregnant, it would be a shocker, sure. And it would force some fast decisions, but would it necessarily be so bad? I mean, you'll be done your education. And you love J and you guys want to get married, right? What does J think about it?


OK, here I go probably stressing you out again.



Baaaaad Indy!

But we're all here for ya girl!

Well, there are two major issues with that. One is that, for the foreseeable future, J and I can't even support ourselves. That's one of the things that's majorly stressing me out. Kids are expensive. Although at a later time a surprise wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing (see second point), RIGHT NOW is probably the WORST timing imaginable. And the second thing, as we continue on in the theme of mucho personal info, is that I'm not sure I want to have kids, due to a genetic concern.

About the cost of the test for the doc to do it: I KNOW!!!! I guess that's the NHS for you.

 

[Delster]

Gwen this might be useful? NHS choices site I put in Cambridge and it brought up a load of pharmacies and their phone numbers.

I know there''s no point me saying not to worry but... well, you know. We''re here for you

 

[Octavia]

Gwendolyn, this is kind of a far reach but is there any chance you have IBS? I do, and when I get stressed my stomach gets EXTREMELY delicate. I often feel like I''m going to throw up, even though I never actually have, but I have terrible issues in other areas. I once existed for a week on dry shredded wheat cereal and almonds, during a period of extreme stress, because they were the only things that stayed in my tummy for any length of time. Certain spices also cause me problems. It''s an extremely common disorder and many people have it without ever realizing it. I''ve had a couple of pregnancy scares because of the nausea but it''s always turned out to be an IBS flare-up (knock on wood).

This might not be your problem at all, but some of what you said sounded kind of familiar so I thought I''d mention it.