A vent about stress and health and money and work permits

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:16:43 PM
Author: Delster
Gwen based on what you''re saying I do think it''s unlikely. You had been feeling sick for three weeks before you tested, so chances are you didn''t test too early, and the doctor gave you the all clear. Test again on Tuesday just to be sure but please try not to worry too much in between.


If the worrying is too much, out-of-hours pharmacies should be open tomorrow and Monday (I didn''t know it was a bank holiday there this weekend - what''s it for?). I found the website listing those in Cambridge (here it is) but it''s being updated, grrrr.

Aww, thanks for trying, babe. If I can manage to get more than 5 feet from the bathroom tomorrow, I might take the bus to Tesco to pick one up there (I am assuming they would have them for sale and I know the one I go to is open 24/7), otherwise I''ll wait until Tuesday. I was feeling sick for 2 weeks when I tested; 1 of the weeks I was sick was after I tested. My doctor seemed to think I tested with plenty of time and not early at all, and I''d be inclined to go with her opinion since she is a doctor, but I did kind of get this "we can''t be bothered" vibe from her with stuff so maybe she just doesn''t give a hoot? Dunno, but I will try (TRY!) not to worry about it.

Which brings us back around to the main topic of this thread! How to get me to not worry so much! Not sure we''ve really succeeded so far, ladies.

 

[Independent Gal]

OH, if you were feeling sick for three weeks before you tested then you probably are in the clear. I got the time line wrong. The thing is, you wouldn''t be feeling sick until implantation, and three weeks after that should be plenty to give a good strong positive if you were knocked up.

So I do think it''s actually pretty ridiculously unlikely. Still, I''d test just in case.

But I''ll be VERY surprised if you are. So deeeeeeeep breaths.

And you WILL be able to support yourself. You WILL find a way and it will be OK, even if you guys are going through a rough patch financially. I remember what it''s like. I lived on about 300 quid a month when I was in England. For EVERYTHING.

So, yeah, I remember what it''s like.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:24:29 PM
Author: Octavia
Gwendolyn, this is kind of a far reach but is there any chance you have IBS? I do, and when I get stressed my stomach gets EXTREMELY delicate. I often feel like I''m going to throw up, even though I never actually have, but I have terrible issues in other areas. I once existed for a week on dry shredded wheat cereal and almonds, during a period of extreme stress, because they were the only things that stayed in my tummy for any length of time. Certain spices also cause me problems. It''s an extremely common disorder and many people have it without ever realizing it. I''ve had a couple of pregnancy scares because of the nausea but it''s always turned out to be an IBS flare-up (knock on wood).


This might not be your problem at all, but some of what you said sounded kind of familiar so I thought I''d mention it.

I have thought maybe this was my problem, actually. I have had some terrible issues in other areas as well (more problems with that than vomiting, which is another reason why, deep down, I''m fairly sure I''m not preggers). I think when I saw my doctor at the beginning of the month she was thinking it could be something like this, but she refused to do any tests on me unless the symptoms persisted for at least another week (at that point I''d been sick for just over 2 weeks). She said to go back in to see her for tests if a week later I was still sick, and I wasn''t--I got better the day before (was able to eat some normal food and keep it in).

I think I will look up IBS online and see what sorts of treatments there are for it, and if there''s anything I can do myself before going to see the doctor about it. Thanks for mentioning it!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:24:01 PM
Author: Delster
Gwen this might be useful? NHS choices site I put in Cambridge and it brought up a load of pharmacies and their phone numbers.


I know there''s no point me saying not to worry but... well, you know. We''re here for you

*hugs* Thanks, doll, you''re the best.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/25/2008 3:26:24 PM
Author: Independent Gal
OH, if you were feeling sick for three weeks before you tested then you probably are in the clear. I got the time line wrong. The thing is, you wouldn''t be feeling sick until implantation, and three weeks after that should be plenty to give a good strong positive if you were knocked up.

Hang on, I think the time line is still a little confused. Ok, I saw J last on March 31st. I first felt sick April 17th. I tested on May 1st. I saw the doctor on May 2nd. I got better on May 8th. Got sick again the morning after getting upset about money/school housing on May 21st, and am still sick now (was starting to do better and then I don''t know what happened last night).

So I do think it''s actually pretty ridiculously unlikely. Still, I''d test just in case.


But I''ll be VERY surprised if you are. So deeeeeeeep breaths.


And you WILL be able to support yourself. You WILL find a way and it will be OK, even if you guys are going through a rough patch financially. I remember what it''s like. I lived on about 300 quid a month when I was in England. For EVERYTHING.


So, yeah, I remember what it''s like.

Aye, most of the time I think we will be ok. It''s just that the bad stuff is so much easier to believe. But I really do think we will find a way. Three and a half years together, most of that with the Atlantic between us, and we''re still together.

 

[Octavia]

There''s not really much you can do about it, unfortunately. I think there''s some sort of medication but it''s usually only given to people whose symptoms are really debilitating. I just try to eat well (including lots of fiber -- I take a fiber supplement you can dissolve in drinks or food) and I take probiotics (basically the beneficial stuff in yoghurt, but in concentrated form). If I know that stressful times are coming up (like exams) I make sure to avoid anything I know makes it worse, and I tend not to eat a whole lot, and to eat in small doses. I''d recommend keeping a food diary once you get back to normal, to see if you can identify what your trigger foods might be. A LOT of people have trouble with caffeine. Pizza is the worst for me, unless I blot the heck out of it, because of the grease.

When I was diagnosed, I was describing my symptoms and my doctor instantly identified it because she suffers from it, too. But she said it takes so many different forms, what works to help one person might make it much worse in another. It''s kind of a trial-and-error thing for most people.

 

[Independent Gal]

I have a good friend who has IBS. She can control it somewhat through what she eats, but she still has attacks now and then.

 

[bee*]

Gosh I''m so sorry Gwen to hear that you''re feeling like that! I can totally relate to it though! I felt the exact same way when I went back to college 2 years ago. I had been self sufficient and looking after myself and had my own money and it was awful having to go back to having no money, college wanted 100 euro here, another 200 there and I just didn''t have it. I stress about money so much as I hate having to watch all my pennies, and I despise having to ask people for money or borrow it. I had to do what Delster did though and I''ve had a lot of help from my parents and D. I work also which covers my car and my spending money but it''s hard to keep up with everything. I would take the help from J with the money that you have to pay for the housing. There''s nothing wrong in him helping you and I know that you would do it without blinking an eye if it was the other way round.
That really is frustrating that you would have to be a teacher''s aide after all those years of study. That would really piss me off too. Keep applying for everything and hopefully something will come up.
Sending lots of hugs and glasses of wine!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Gwen,

I didn''t want to add more stress about going back to the doctor. It is just that what you are describing can be a variety of different things, including stress. But if there is something that can be treated specifically, than that would really help you so that you could at least feel 100% while you are dealing with your difficult stuff.

I hope you get through this rough time soon!

 

[gailrmv]

I haven't read all the replies but just wanted to say, congrats on your masters degree and I am sorry you are going through so much stress. I can tell that you are a person who values being independent and having a plan, and I am the same way. I worry a lot too, so I completely understand how you feel!

Have you discussed the possibility of anti anxiety medicine with your doctor? It might help. If you don't feel like your dr is taking your concerns seriously, can you change drs? You have to be your own advocate - you know what is and is not normal for yourself and I hope you can find a doctor who really listens to you.

I find that exercise really helps me to deal with stress. Does this help you at all?

 

[Delster]

Gwen I just noticed you''re online, how are you doing today?

 

[Rhea]

I haven''t posted because I''m really not sure what to say. I hate the feeling of everything being up in the air and international relationships are hard at the best of times.

 

[gwendolyn]

Hi ladies--I will come back to reply to everyone individually when I get a bit of time. I did some research on IBS last night and came across a list of foods to avoid (a few of which might've exacerbated things for me Friday night) and some that might help. Today's a bank holiday, so most everything is closed, but I am BETTING (not totally sure but 99%) that the 24-hour Tesco just outside of town is open. Things have, er, slowed down stomach-problem-wise, so I think I am safe to take the bus out there (it takes over an hour round-trip which I still find ridiculous but whatev). So, I am going to pick up some more vitamins and some of these foods with soluble fiber and see if they help matters. I will also look to see if they sell pregnancy tests--if so, I'll pick up another pack.

I also wrote in my diary last night, which tends to let me sleep better because it focuses all my thoughts and then lets my mind stop whirling. When I get back, I've got some MAJOR writing to do on my paper, so the only exercise I'll be getting today will be walking to the education building, the porter's lodge and to the bus stop and back (probably only a total of a mile, maybe a little more).

So, it's a start! And I feel a lot more human today than I did yesterday, which is fab. Thanks for your help and suggestions, ladies! I really do appreciate it a lot.

 

[Delster]

Sounds like a good plan Gwen. Be careful not to overdo it. First sign of feeling ill sit down, have some water, and rest up OK? And when you get back I''ll start our little study support thread. Where is the best place to do that I wonder? Here in Hangout or somewhere else?

 

[gwendolyn]

I dunno. I guess here? I think there are a few others working on theses (rainbowtrout, I want to say?) so maybe other folks will come out of the woodwork if we have it here.

And I promise I will take it easy. Later, babe!

 

[Deelight]

Good to hear you are sounding a little better Gwen

If you think you have IBS I would see your doctor about doing an elimination diet they suck as you are really limited to the foods you can eat but it is the easiest way IMO to find out what or if you have any trigger foods. Plus once you work out what the foods are and stop eating them I found I had more energy which is always a plus .

 

[Bliss]

Wow, such good advice here!

I''m sorry to hear what you''re going through!

I echo the REST part. If you can sleep at least 8 hours a night, that helps your body regulate your hormones. I find that when I''m well rested, I can tackle any life stress that comes my way.

Do you think sometimes the ramen may be making things worse? I always feel pretty terrible after eating ramen (I love it, too!) because it has so much sodium and preservatives in it. Makes me wonky! If my nutrition is off, stress can knock me off my feet!

Vitamins, for sure! C-a-belle has the best advice there!

How about going for a long walk with music? Just get lost in a park or something.

Or volunteer at a shelter. That can help bring things into perspective. Sometimes when you focus outwardly, it helps you forget about our own "stuff!"

And don''t ever discount the power of prayer! It doesn''t matter who or what you believe in. Studies show it relieves stress and brings peace and strength.

Vent to friends and family...and PS!

Also... say a mantra. Pick one every day and repeat it.

It''s hard to think of two things at once - so repeating a mantra not only sends subconscious cues to your mind and heart... it focuses you on the positive.

How about: I leave everything in God''s hands. Or: I trust the Universe. Or: I am strong. Love is everywhere.

 

[Delster]

Date: 5/26/2008 10:06:25 AM
Author: Bliss

Also... say a mantra. Pick one every day and repeat it.

It''s hard to think of two things at once - so repeating a mantra not only sends subconscious cues to your mind and heart... it focuses you on the positive.

How about: I leave everything in God''s hands. Or: I trust the Universe. Or: I am strong. Love is everywhere.

When I get particularly bad, BF makes me chant ''I believe in me''. It works

 

[gwendolyn]

Octavia: Yeah, I got that feeling from what I read last night before bed, that it''s mostly controlled through diet. I went to the store today to get some fiber-licious food and picked up multi-vitamins that have probiotics too (they weirdly look like little hot dogs

), so that should be good. I will also definitely try the food diary idea, and get myself to the doctor to get an official word. Thanks!

Indy: I had a housemate who had IBS and she was the same. When I lived with her, her husband was on a tour in Iraq, so she had lots of attacks that year.

bee-star: thanks, darlin''! Yeah, J and I talked last night and I told him I would pay him back when I can and he said it was no problem and that he wanted to be here to support me. He''s been really good about everything. And don''t you worry, I will keep applying for jobs! I know there''s something out there for me, just have to keep at it!

LtlFirecracker: thanks! Aye, I will definitely be getting back to the doctor to make sure there''s nothing seriously wrong going on. No worries!

TanDogMom: aww, thanks very much for the congrats on the degree! I just achieved my goal for the day with my writing, so I am rather pleased with myself.

I''m not sure if my doc is taking my concerns seriously or not, because I know that she''s the expert, so if she tells me not to worry, I feel like a bit of a schmuck telling her that I think she''s wrong. Like with the pregnancy scare--I was like, "Are you sure it''s ok? Can you do another test? How do you know the pills worked?" and she looked at my like she was my mom and I''d just broken a vase. She broke it down and, when she explained it, it sounded like it made perfect sense and I was the crazy one. But then I think about how she was kind of dismissive about my digestive problems (at 2.5 weeks of not eating) and was like, "wait another week, then come back if it still hasn''t gone away." I dunno, but I don''t think it''s normal or healthy for people to go that long eating nothing or just crackers/Ramen (which I don''t even like all that much), so why wait another week? I guess because she was convinced I had made myself sick...but she got that from talking to me for like 5 minutes, so I don''t know. I don''t know if I trust her, I guess. Anyway, exercise does help me with stress--my favourite form of exercise is swimming, which I used to do 4-5 times a week before work, but I don''t have the money for a gym membership here so I only go now and then, usually when J is visiting so we can drive out of the city where the prices aren''t astronomical. We meant to go this week, but I got sick halfway through his visit.

Addy: thanks, honey, that''s sweet of you to say. I really hate the feeling of everything being up in the air too--I used to think it was exciting, like as a kid, but it''s not. It''s no fun at all. And the funny thing is that it wouldn''t be like this if I wasn''t in an international relationship because then I could just go home! It''s like the difficulties of one compound the other. Bleh.

Deelight: Will definitely be seeing the doc when they''re open again. I feel much much MUCH better than yesterday (thank goodness!) and if this keeps up, I might wait until Friday to see the doctor so I can finish my next chapter of my dissertation on time (Thursday)!

Bliss: hey girl, congrats again on your engagement! I have already got my vits and had a good night''s sleep last night and will be scheduling myself more good sleep tonight, no worries! No, I don''t think the Ramen made it worse--I actually don''t like it that much, I only eat it when I''m sick and my stomach can''t handle anything else. Most of the time I don''t even use the flavour packets and have it super-ultra-plain because my stomach is so shaky. But I''ve got some new food to try which (so far) seems to be working really well, so hopefully no more Ramen for me!

I wish I had time to volunteer but I barely have time to do my 2-hour shift at the library every week. Writing a dissertation is pretty time-consuming--so much reading to do on top of writing 20,000 words! Thanks for the ideas, though!

Delster: You are a doll, my sweet! Thank you so much for thinking of me, and putting together our theses support group, and your eye-avatar, and everything! You rock.

 

[gwendolyn]

Just wanted to report in that I''m still not preggers.

 

[Independent Gal]

Congratulations!

Sorry I freaked you out for nothing.

 

[gwendolyn]

Hehe, no worries, I know you were just trying to eliminate causes for what was going on with me.

 

[Delster]

Gwen you are doing fantastic. Good for you for taking charge of your health and looking after yourself. Keep up the good work!

BTW no wolf-eyes today. I''m tired so according to BF''s theory they should look copper instead of yellow

 

[krisvrn]

sorry to hear you are stressed. It sucks. I also lay away at night stressing, tossing and turning about issues. I feel for you. You are not alone.