Afghan Gem engagement ring?

[stampadhesive]

My boyfriend has asked if I would like an alternative to a diamond for my engagement ring. He has a friend in Afghanistan working for a non-profit environmental group who has access to local miners. He would be able to get me a beautiful gem at a low cost. He could get me a kunzite, emerald, or ruby fairly easily. I was thinking an emerald because it is my birthstone.

Does anyone have a non-diamond engagement ring? Do people recognize it as an engagement ring? How large of a stone should I get without it being ridiculous? (I have large fingers, size 10.)

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Amys Bling]

Just keep in mind that emeralds are softer stones and more prone to chipping and cracking.

 

[T L]

All stones are prone to chipping and cracking that are below an 8 on the Mohs scale of hardness, so I would avoid any gem softer than an 8 for an ering, unless you don't care about potentially chipping it, or you aren't going to wear it everyday. I definitely would avoid tourmaline and any beryl (emerald included). Spodumene (kunzite) also chips. Corundum, spinel, chrysoberyl should all be fine for an e-ring.

 

[innerkitten]

A ruby would be hardest and best for everyday wear. I do know someone that has an art deco emerald cabochon engagement ring. It's held up well but she is very careful with it.
GL!

 

[anakreon]

Seafoam Green Tourmaline from Afghanistan ...

There are a few mines than do/did have this rather distinguished looking turquoise color...

Simply google "seafoam green tourmaline" and in the regular search engine, look at the upper left
hand of your screen and one can view the words "search" and to the right of it "images" click images.

Oh my. I would like to post some of my favorite choices, but then thought better of it and decided to upload the, uncut, rough of
the gem instead. Who knows he may return with rough. But do yourself a favor and search seafoam green tourmaline. Afghan has some of the sweetest. Not quite the Paraiba from Brazil,
but a worthy contender for your e-ring, if you adore the color.

ps: I'm searching for afghan rough at the moment... so keep me in mind will ya?

 

[Edward Bristol]

Having access to local miners in Af without years of buying experience will only result in a fat loss of money

(I didn't mean only or specially in Af but pretty much anywhere)

 

[JewelFreak]

You can take Ed's word for it. He knows. Unless he's a gem expert, he's most liable to get skinned & even if he were, he'd have to know what he's doing.

Many people have non-diamond engagement rings -- take a look at SMTB forum. The PS list of vendors is a good source for stones & settings once you decide what you want. TL's advice to stick to corundum, chrysoberyl, or spinel is great. Good luck!

 

[Pandora II]

Having access to local miners in Af without years of buying experience will only result in a fat loss of money

(I didn't mean only or specially in Af but pretty much anywhere)

Ditto this.

If he's a gemmologist or has many years of experience buying gems (that check out as what they are supposed to be) then this is a good plan otherwise this is a bad, bad idea.

The closer you get to source the more likely you are to find synthetics and simulants. There are plenty of legitimate ways for Afghan dealers to sell their stones and they're not going to sell a bargain stone to anyone when they can sell to a dealer in the trade for the appropriate price. Rubies in particular are bad things to buy without tools and experience - a lot of military personnel have expensive reddish gravel in their fishtanks... as that is all the much of it is fit for!

 

[Edward Bristol]

How large of a stone should I get without it being ridiculous? (I have large fingers, size 10.)

Up to 5 carat will be fine on a size 10 for common taste.

 

[Jim Rentfrow]

I would stick away from buying something in Afghanistan unless your friend is highly trained. Even then it is hard to tell things apart if there is no access to equipment. The market is full of synthetics and treated gems. Plus the pricing system is often higher than retail prices in the US. It takes a long time to build trust with the miners and sellers to get good pricing in the area.

 

[minousbijoux]

...and you should know, Jim! Are you still over there, or are you back now?

 

[Jim Rentfrow]

I have been back for a little over a month now. I think I finally just got rid of the Kabul cough this last week! However, I know think my immune system is pretty invincible!

 

[chrono]

Having a coloured gemstone for an engagement ring is a wonderful idea. While the idea of getting a stone locally may sound ideal, unless the said friend has gemstone buying experience, knowledge and some gemology tools, he could easily end up overpaying, unknowingly buying something that has been heavily treated (dyed, filled, diffused, etc), buying a synthetic or simulant, etc. There are many ways this experience can go wrong with little to no recourse.

For an e-ring stone, it should be durable enough for everyday wear. Personally, I would stay away from beryls (emerald) although I know some people are willing to risk it. Kunzite will fade over time. A good ruby will cost an arm and a leg unless it has been fracture filled and those will then require special care. This is why very few gems are suitable as engagement ring stones. Tourmalines are also not recommended. With special care (and not worn 24/7), a few variety of garnets might be a good choice. Sapphires, spinels and chrysoberyls are your best bet.

Size is totally up to you. I have size 4.5 fingers but have no discomfort sporting 5 carat size stones.

 

[Pandora II]

Wanted to add - I have a coloured-stone e-ring, a 1.42ct tsavorite garnet (my avatar). No-one has ever mistaken it for anything but an e-ring, however coloured-stone e-rings are very popular in the UK so it's not unusual. In my own family, my sister, my mother and my maternal grandmother have sapphires and my paternal grandmother had an incredible emerald. My cousins have a ruby and an aquamarine (disasterous - she's chipped it badly 3 times and now doesn't wear it at all) and at least 50% of our friends have coloured stones.

The only negative I ever got was from a couple of people (all relatives and particularly my maternal grandmother) who made snidey comments about my husband not being able to afford a diamond and that I shouldn't be upset because I ought to know that my cousin's wife's (0.75ct) diamond was a family stone and he hadn't had to pay for it!

I didn't want to say anything as I have no intention of disclosing our finances to them and don't feel I need to defend MY DECISION to have a coloured-stone. But when I got a 2.2cttw 3 stone RHR following the birth of my daughter my grandmother went insane over it and how huge and beautiful it was (they're very well-cut OECs and it does have crazy fire and are large for the UK) - I got my mother to casually mention to her that my e-ring had been rather more expensive and the reaction was total shock. She now raves about my e-ring...

Even when I was on holiday in the USA I had loads of people comment on how lovely my ring was and how nice to see something different.

However you do need to treat coloured-stones with some extra care. I don't consider anything other than sapphires or rubies to be able to be worn the way a diamond could be (and even they shouldn't be worn 24/7), but garnets, beryls (emerald) and tourmalines will need extra care.

Kunzite is a bad choice for anything other than an occasional wear RHR - not only does it fade in sunlight, but it has 2 directions of perfect cleavage and is very easy to break.

As Chrono says, I would stick with corundum or spinel.

Be very wary buying rubies - a HUGE number on the market today have been filled with lead-glass. They look fabulous, but can be etched by something as simple as lemon juice and are a nightmare for bench jewellers who aren't aware what they are dealing with - the heat from a jewellers torch will melt the glass and the pickling solution has scary results!

 

[stampadhesive]

Thank you everyone for your advice. As my friend did not have experience buying gems, we decided against this route. I did continue to look at alternate stone and fell in love with a tsavorite. However, it was just as pricey as a diamond. Though, I was promised one for a future anniversary : ) So we ended up going with a diamond. Thank you again.

 

[chrono]

Congrats! Tsavorites are beautiful stones too and yes, they tend to get expensive quickly once the size inches upwards.