Ahhh! The ring is back! What do I do??

[anchor31]

Date: 2/14/2006 1:17:06 AM
Author: EBree
Men are weird about money.

Truer words...

My dear boyfriend freaked out about the price of my dream ring too, which was in the 2k-3k range as well. I was hurt and confused because he''d been refusing to give me a budget, saying the price "didn''t matter", but it turned out that meant 1k-2k!

And until very recently, I''ve felt a lot like how you''re feeling, that you can''t be that important if he spends so much money on CDs, DVDs, video games and that kind of stuff, but then has trouble saving up for your ring. My boyfriend is a big spender. But two days after he gave me his 2006 timeframe, he temporarily lost his job due to a delayed contract and he still has car payments to make, so he was in trouble for a good six weeks. That really seemed to wake him up and make him realize he couldn''t keep up those spending habits if we were to have a good, stable future together.

What I''m doing that seems to help is that I''m getting quotes for said dream ring from other jewelers (it''s a custom design) to see if someone can make it for less $$, and I''m looking for alternatives, other rings and designs that would be less expensive but that I would love just as much. He appreciates that very much and he told me so. A few day ago, he told me that a friend had hired him for a 20k carpenter job in addition to his day job, and that he''d be able to "spoil me". Bottom line: If you should some flexibility and understanding, he''ll be more likely to do so too.

As for the "he''s not ready" issue, I''m afraid you''re right in saying there''s nothing much you can do. I think you mentioned somewhere that you won''t move in with him unless you''re close to being married (sorry, can''t find the quote)... Well, make sure he knows that. It wasn''t before my boyfriend started talking about us living together if I transferred back home and I told him I wasn''t moving in with a man unless I was engaged, that he realized how important getting married was for me. At first he was taken aback and a bit scared, but he thought it through and decided that it''s something he wants to do with me too and that he is ready for it. He just hadn''t really stopped to really think about it before, it was something he knew he was going to do "someday".

Oh, and I think the auburn hair for a while is a very good idea...

A lot of men don''t like change, and sometimes the smallest things can make them that we''re independant. That usually gives them a good kick in the butt.

Sorry for the novel, I hope you find something helpful in there. Good luck!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I know how you feel. my boyfriend just got over $4,000 in profit sharing and he went and blew it. Meanwhile, telling me "soon". GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel your pain.