Am I a horrible person

[HeavenPerfection]

Date: 3/19/2007 6:37:35 PM
Author: AdaBeta27
I think you should keep it and be happy. The reason I say that, is there is a huge ''brag factor'' for a guy to be able to say it''s a VVS1. It states ''I certainly didn''t cheap out. I bought her the best.'' He is no doubt very proud of the stone he chose for you, and $13k is not chicken feed, and roughly 7.5 mm (OK, maybe 7.3 or 7.4) WILL be noticed. If I were you, I''d wear it with pride. Your man bought you top quality. Don''t ruin the experience for him.

Plus, if you don''t trade it up, your future in-laws won''t have that issue to rehash at every family gathering for the next 50 years, LOL.

Personally, I try to never go below VVS or VS when buying a diamond, and I buy/sell mine with stunning regularity since I am single and don''t have to account to anyone but myself. I personally despise the blobs of white snot inclusions that I usually see in the SI1 & SI2 class, even if the stone is somebody''s definition of ''eyeclean.'' Your man may just feel the same way about that. I''ve personally talked to several men whe are adamant that they would Never buy the FI any diamond that has inclusions that are obvious at 10X because it''s just not ''quality.''

I''m perversely tolerant of small black specks, if they conceal themselves very well. I actually purchased & enjoy an I1 diamond that eye clean at 6'' and the inclusions are discrete black specs. I''ll take this I1 over any SI-whatever, any day. It''s VVS1 everywhere but under one prong, hehe.

The other thing that occurred to me is, VVS1 or VVS2 usually gets a good cut. I''m not saying there aren''t great SI stones out there, but the SI grade is more likely to get a lower ''ideal'' or maybe apremiun cut than VVS usually will. That''s not an expert''s opinion. That''s just what I''ve observed in local B&M retail jewelry stores and also used/estate/pawned diamonds.

Wow! I think you might be the person getting tomatoes thrown at you! I can see why you are the one purchasing the diamonds for yourself. Clarity is the one factor that most people are first to sacrifice since in most cases it is not noticable. The quality of a cut has nothing to do with the clarity. Although, if a diamond is well cut it can definitally conseal imperfections. Not a nice post you made there.

 

[Phoenix]

Isn''t the point that your FI has already given it to you? If you''d been part of the selection process, that may have been different? ( I assume, from your post, that you were not (??)).

Anyway, like DS said, you may not be able to change it for another stone, so all of this may be moot.

I''d say call up BN, see if they''d allow you to change it. Then, talk to your FI. Otherwise, you may end up hurting his feelings for nothing.

 

[Phoenix]

And if they don''t allow you to change the stone, and you still feel that this stone is too small for you, try and broach the subject carefully. Of course, none of us here knows your FI like you do or your relationship with him. Only you know if yr FI would be open-minded to letting you do anything with it, for example doing the halo or the 3-stone like others have suggested, or another suggestion - bezel setting.

 

[poptart]

I don''t think you are a bad person for wanting a bigger stone, but do feel that you should have made that request BEFORE he spent all that money and time and effort to get you a ring that somehow isn''t living up to what you want. Normally I am all for going and talking with your FI, but at this early stage, you might end up just hurting his feelings. I mean, flip it for a second. How would you feel if you spent thousands of dollars on a great TV and surround sound speaker set and then he says, "Oh, that''s not the brand I wanted, and those are the wrong speakers. Could you go back and get something else?" I think it would really hurt your feelings and this was a present that he put a lot of love into. If you want to upgrade for an anniversary, go for it, but let your 1.5 carats sink in first and you may find that you love it more than you thought you would. And please... let us love it too, with lots of pictures!!

*M*

 

[googlyeyes]

I haven''t been able to log on for a few days and am very pleasantly suprised by all the wonderful responses and suggestions. I am definitely keeping the ring for now. As much as I love big bling, I am really quite attached to the one I have now. live in LA so bling envy will always be prevalent and I will just need to learn to deal. Also I figure, I''m 25, in 5 years I will be 30 which will be a nice time for a new ring!! The halo and sidestone suggestions are great ideas. Maybe two pretty little pears to accompany my stone?

Thanks for all of your sage advice! I hope I can be as helpful to others on this board at some point as well!

 

[googlyeyes]

I will also try to post pics as soon as I figure it out!!

 

[Phoenix]

That''s so wonderful! and yes, five years will come before you know it.

Go enjoy yr ring! Have a wonderful life together.

Can''t wait to see pics...

 

[diamondfan]

I do not think you are horrible...I just think now you should let it go, and maybe upgrade down the line. Men can get hurt, even if they do not say so, so I would not want to put that out there now.

I also think you can find an eye clean SI stone, it might be hard but not impossible, but that is just not the issue right now. I think the site you bought from would let you UPGRADE this one for another larger one from them, who knows, but without knowing your fiance it is hard to say it it is worth it.

I got engaged at 24 and had a 1.53 round stone. I had it for ten years, when I got my first upgrade. I kept that first stone and made a pendant out of it. I kept the first upgrade 5 years and then traded that one back in for my current ring. I was so happy to get A ring that it did not occur to me for a long time that I could change it-but once I knew that I was relentless!

Enjoy it now, know that you have a lovend sizeable stone by anyone''s standards...and worry about later, later!

 

[Moosejaw]

I think your fiance would want you to have exactly what you want for 13k.

I would choose the exact stone you want from Blue Nile...maybe it can be 500 or 1k more than your current stone...call them and MAKE them exchange it.

They will if you talk to the right person.

Speaking as a male, on a seemingly female board, nothing ticks me off more than if I spend money on something my wife doesnt truly love or care for. I got her an amazing watch for our anniversary, and she didnt love it. So we went to the jeweler and got something she did want. I was bummed a bit since I spent so much time picking the watch out, but at least my 3k wasn''t wasted.

BLUE NILE will exchange. I guarantee it as long as you explain you didn''t get what you wanted, and you tell them what you want to exchange it for.

-G