TheNextMrsB
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2008
- Messages
- 44
I think I''m going crazy. About a year and a half ago, SO told me that he wanted to get engaged in 2 years. At the time, it wasn''t really a huge deal to me, but as time went on, I became more and more interested in getting engaged. I''ve wanted to get engaged for about a year, and a few months ago, I started to feel VERY ready. Recently, he told me that he wouldn''t be ready at the original 2 year mark (April/May of next year), but he promised that it would happen before our anniversary (September of next year). Lately I''ve been feeling extremely anxious, and I was really starting to feel like I would burst into a million pieces before the proposal ever came. I had a feeling that he wouldn''t be ready by then. I didn''t understand what difference a few months could make. However, he had made a promise, and I assumed that he wouldn''t make a promise like that unless he had thought it over and really meant it.
Last night he told me that he plans on waiting an extra year. He now plans on proposing in December of 2010. At the time, it didn''t really hit me, and I remained very calm and understanding. I felt like everything was fine, but when I woke up this morning, and things had had a chance to sink in, I completely freaked out. I was already having trouble waiting a year, and now he wants to wait another. He PROMISED me that it would happen before next October. You can''t make a promise like that and then just take it back. He was mad that I was upset. He just kept explaining that he thought we would be ready, but after he''s given it more thought, he realizes that he won''t be ready next year. Then he got agitated because he feels that I''m not supposed to know when the proposal is coming, anyway.
I feel so stupid. I''ve made so many sacrifices, and I made them because I believed that he would be proposing next spring. I''ve already been waiting a year, and I feel like I''m about to explode. I can''t even imagine how I''ll feel after another 2 years. Of course, that''s not REALLY why I''m angry. I''m angry because he made a promise, and now it''s broken. I''m angry because he keeps changing his mind about getting engaged. I''m angry because I don''t feel like I can trust him. At this point, I''m starting to believe that he doesn''t ever have any plans to propose.
He swears that this is the last time he''ll change his mind. He says he knows this time that he''ll be ready in another 2 years. He says he''s really thought about where he wants us to be, and he knows we''ll be there. I don''t know how I''m supposed to believe him. This is actually the FIFTH time he''s changed his mind about getting engaged. Obviously, he was never ready to talk about getting engaged. I never asked for a time frame. He knew I wanted to marry him, but he volunteered the original time frame all on his own. I have no idea why.
I''m hurt, stunned, and disappointed. My friends and family think I''m being crazy and selfish. They think I''m trying to force him to propose. I don''t want him to propose if he''s not ready, but I can''t handle the way he changes his mind. Now I''m afraid that next year he''ll just say the same thing, and it''ll just continue on and on. He swears that he means it, but how can I know? His reasons for wanting to wait the extra year are very logical and valid, but how could he not have thought through all that before he opened his mouth about it?
The worst part is that when he told me had changed his mind and wanted to wait until around September, that was actually the 4th time he had changed his mind. I told myself that 4 times was all I could handle, and that if he didn''t come through on his promise to propose before October, that would be the end of us.
I understand that he''s young, and compared to many relationships, we haven''t been together that long, but I do think he''s old enough to know better than to mess around with something so important. He knows what a big deal getting engaged and getting married is to me, and if he wasn''t ready to talk about it, he should have said so. It breaks my heart that after giving me 4 different time frames, he''s just now actually sat down and thought out where he would like to be when he gets engaged.
I don''t even know what to do, anymore. I just needed to vent. I''m sure everything will settle down and go back to normal. I''m sure that we''ll be fine and get past this. I''m almost sure that a proposal is coming eventually. Right now, I just need to be upset.
Last night he told me that he plans on waiting an extra year. He now plans on proposing in December of 2010. At the time, it didn''t really hit me, and I remained very calm and understanding. I felt like everything was fine, but when I woke up this morning, and things had had a chance to sink in, I completely freaked out. I was already having trouble waiting a year, and now he wants to wait another. He PROMISED me that it would happen before next October. You can''t make a promise like that and then just take it back. He was mad that I was upset. He just kept explaining that he thought we would be ready, but after he''s given it more thought, he realizes that he won''t be ready next year. Then he got agitated because he feels that I''m not supposed to know when the proposal is coming, anyway.
I feel so stupid. I''ve made so many sacrifices, and I made them because I believed that he would be proposing next spring. I''ve already been waiting a year, and I feel like I''m about to explode. I can''t even imagine how I''ll feel after another 2 years. Of course, that''s not REALLY why I''m angry. I''m angry because he made a promise, and now it''s broken. I''m angry because he keeps changing his mind about getting engaged. I''m angry because I don''t feel like I can trust him. At this point, I''m starting to believe that he doesn''t ever have any plans to propose.
He swears that this is the last time he''ll change his mind. He says he knows this time that he''ll be ready in another 2 years. He says he''s really thought about where he wants us to be, and he knows we''ll be there. I don''t know how I''m supposed to believe him. This is actually the FIFTH time he''s changed his mind about getting engaged. Obviously, he was never ready to talk about getting engaged. I never asked for a time frame. He knew I wanted to marry him, but he volunteered the original time frame all on his own. I have no idea why.
I''m hurt, stunned, and disappointed. My friends and family think I''m being crazy and selfish. They think I''m trying to force him to propose. I don''t want him to propose if he''s not ready, but I can''t handle the way he changes his mind. Now I''m afraid that next year he''ll just say the same thing, and it''ll just continue on and on. He swears that he means it, but how can I know? His reasons for wanting to wait the extra year are very logical and valid, but how could he not have thought through all that before he opened his mouth about it?
The worst part is that when he told me had changed his mind and wanted to wait until around September, that was actually the 4th time he had changed his mind. I told myself that 4 times was all I could handle, and that if he didn''t come through on his promise to propose before October, that would be the end of us.
I understand that he''s young, and compared to many relationships, we haven''t been together that long, but I do think he''s old enough to know better than to mess around with something so important. He knows what a big deal getting engaged and getting married is to me, and if he wasn''t ready to talk about it, he should have said so. It breaks my heart that after giving me 4 different time frames, he''s just now actually sat down and thought out where he would like to be when he gets engaged.
I don''t even know what to do, anymore. I just needed to vent. I''m sure everything will settle down and go back to normal. I''m sure that we''ll be fine and get past this. I''m almost sure that a proposal is coming eventually. Right now, I just need to be upset.
It actually has been really useful and nice to have, because it's a plain silver band ($15) and it says the same thing as an engagement ring without all the bells and whistles of announcing an engagement. It has definitely quieted my LIW craziness a bit to not have guys constantly hitting on me while I sit in anger about not being engaged yet. 
300x240.png)