Am I the only one "Pre planning" my future wedding?

[ringless]

So, I know i''ve been bad... and I confess... I am obsessed with anything wedding related. Please dont confuse this crazy, obsessive behavior for me being more concerned with the idea of a wedding, ring, etc. as I couldn''t be more ready to marry the man I love and have been with for almost 7 years! So, I am obsessed with viewing the www.weddingbee.com blog and other sites, as well as www.theknot.com and yes, even fake register for my dream items hehe.

Do any of you do this or am I just the craziest, most obsessive, "in waiting" girl out there??!

 

[star sparkle]

I go through phases where I''ll be obsessed with it for a week or two, then cool off. I look at different venues and dresses online periodically, though.

I''m positive you''re not the only one.

 

[sunnyd]

You''re definitely not the only one...there was a thread recently where we confessed secret wedding planning obsessions.

I have now taken to purchasing wedding mags and cutting and pasting ideas into a book while we watch tv. And pricing out venues, caterers, decor, anything with pricing online.

 

[ringless]

lol that''s hilarious! I''m glad I''m not to the only one!

It''s sorta my little secret, as this website is, going to B&N to look at wedding magazines, online browsing, etc.

 

[Bia]

Ringless:

You are DEFINITELY not alone. I have been with my BF for over 6 years and NOTHING! I mean, granted, we broke up in the beginning but only for a few months and we were still young and dumb. We now live together (have for 2 1/2 years) and share a puppy...its like we are married...EXCEPT WE ARE NOT! Grrrr...

I am totally in agreement with the idea that you shouldn't rush this sort of thing, but when you have a SO that constantly tells you how much he loves you and that he wants you to be his wife, the mother of his babies...yada yada yada, it puts you in a difficult position. You don't want to be TOO EAGER and yet, you don't want to be a fool and let the man be comfortable w/out making a commitment. I am sorry but I do not believe just because we live together that we have made that commitment and although I do believe he has made that distinction, it surprises me that he is taking so long. And if I have to keep coming up with reasons why it hasn't happened yet to his aunts and cousins and my family...God help me. He told me last year, he thought that was the year. We went through a little *blip* and it seems the issue was put on the back burner. Now we are back on track (I think the pending engagement has made me a little wacky, which then causes a lot of arguments on my end) but I just don't know. Why does it seem so effortless for some people? Our mutual friends met a few years ago and within 1 1/2 years they were engaged and married! Its amazing! My little brother is getting married in September and he's only 23!! I have 3 1/2 years on him and here I am, still waiting.

Aside from all of that, I am planning a wedding that I am not even wearing a ring for yet...although I justify it by saying I live in NY and it's so expensive, I am doing the "smart" thing. Please...Im just loony.

So to answer your question, you may be obsessive but you are not the only one.

 

[Pandora II]

I must admit that I didn''t look at a single wedding forum/magazine or anything before I was engaged.

I was worried I would spoil the fun afterwards, and I was worried about jinxing the chances of FI proposing!

The venue I had narrowed down as my mother and I had looked at loads for my sister''s wedding 7 years earlier. It is also the school my youngest sister attended so I had seen quite a lot of it over the years. (It''s really an 11th century abbey - just used as a boarding school so you can hire it in the holidays).

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/31/2008 12:51:03 PM
Author: Pandora II
I must admit that I didn''t look at a single wedding forum/magazine or anything before I was engaged.

LOL I wish I COULD do that!! I''m so indecisive and need to see every single option before making a decision, so we''d probably be engaged for 5 years before getting married.

I think I''m trying to get my ideas down before I get 2 moms and 3 sisters worth of opinions when we actually DO get engaged. Hee.

 

[HisLadyLove]

I do it all the time!!! You aren''t crazy (because I''d be crazy lol!) you just want to know what you want when the time comes!!! Me and my boyfriend already know where we wanna get married and have a tenative date (lmao I know, i know... maybe I am crazy!!) But regardless, I think its totally normal!

 

[HisLadyLove]

Oh!!!!! and I like this site too....

www.weddingbycolor.com

 

[Pandora II]

Lol,

I''m lucky in that both my mother and FMIL plus both my sisters KNOW that I am an obsessive control freak, the major part of my job is event management, and to keep well away.

So, I''ve so far done everything myself - and my mother is concentrating on buying a hat!

 

[ladypirate]

I''m completely guilty of this! I have a playlist (or 3

) on iTunes of music I want to use in the wedding. Kris just rolls his eyes and "yes dear"s me. It''s funny, actually, because one thing it has brought to the surface is that Kris envisions a wedding with really traditional music (read: Here Comes The Bride

) while I definitely want something untraditional (read: The Cure). I''m hoping that when it actually comes down to it we''ll be able to compromise on something (maybe some non-traditional classical a la Erik Satie, or some ambient instrumental indie like Sigur Ros). I still want to recess to David Bowie''s "Fill Your Heart" though.

Luckily, aside from the music, we''re mostly on the same page (which is good because he''ll definitely want to be involved with the planning). Around 100 people, outdoors, pretty low key, good food and wine. Since we''ll be either saving for a down payment or else have just spent all of our savings on a down payment, we will probably not have a lot of extra cash to spend on a super formal affair. Luckily, we know several professional photogs, two caterers (one of whom has already offered to cater for us at a significant discount), and my dad is a musician and sound guy and has all the speakers and equipment needed, so I think we''ll be able to save a bundle on that stuff.

Now he just needs to keep saving for the ring!

 

[aspromised22]

I am totally a pre planner! I already have an idea of what I''d like for a ring, a dress, a venue, who our bridesmaids and groomsmen will be, and what songs we will dance to/walk down the aisle to. It''s a great distraction since my guy is deployed in the Middle East and I am slowly moving through my last quarter of college. It doesn''t help that he encourages it though! He''s comes up with crazy ideas like how we will landscape our future home...what kind of house we will have...he just bought a new car and actually said to me "This will be great for when we have kids!" So at least I know we''re in this together lol. If you want an awesome wedding planning site, at Livejournal.com there is a community called weddingplans. People from all over post their wedding plans so far, usually with pictures, and it is very entertaining. I tend to visit it when I get sick of studying or working at my super boring job

 

[CrookedRock]

I guess I''m kinda guilty... We both talked about where we wanted to get married for a while, but now I guess it''s more me bc I finally feel the time is here bc I know the ring will be done at the end of the month. I haven''t bought any mags or anything, but I have def scouted places online, looked at dresses, cakes, etc... But considering we are eloping, possibly just bringing parents, I was more into looking for my dream ring than anything else.

I don''t see anything wrong with this so long as you have had the talk and know it is coming...

 

[choro72]

Oh, Purleeaaaase, you are far from the only one! I have an account on Weddingchannel.com (which I think is much nicer than the Knot...Check it out!), Brides.com, and Weddingwire.com. I know the style of dress I want, veil, first dance and ceremony procession music, I''ve already told my sister that she is a bridesmaid, favor ideas, centerpieces, guest list, budget, flower idea, and of course a whole folder on my desktop to organize these things.

So, no, you are not the crazy one

 

[Dani511]

I am with you, Ringless! You are certainly not the only one, I do the same thing- and I am not engaged yet either! I''m guilty of getting obsessive, but I also find it to be a lot of fun and sort of calming as well. When the times comes to plan a real wedding, ladies like us will certainly be ready!

 

[ringless]

lol that's funny choro72 were a lot alike! I also have every category in wedding planning orgainzed on my computer... obsessive much?! lol

 

[FrekeChild]

You are far from being the only one...

I have a bookmarked folder labeled "Wedding Specs"-and it has all the specific stuff, earrings, tiara, dresses, shoes, wedding rings, wedding hair pics, wedding invitations...And that''s only the stuff I''ve decided on. There is a whole other folder labeled "Wedding Stuff" and it''s got more like 75 links in it-mostly to bigger sites I can just wander through. I also have an email that I send to myself, and reply to myself when I add something-it''s got a playlist, things we want or don''t want, traditions we want to follow, decor of the room, specific foods we want, flavors of cake(I''m making it), attendants, location, wardrobe for everyone...etc.

It really doesn''t help that I''m kind of helping two of my friends plan weddings too.

One of the reasons he''s holding off on proposing is with his school work, he doesn''t want me stressing over the wedding stuff and then in turn me stressing him out. Little does he know, I just have to figure out a date and start writing checks and signing contracts.

That is, unless we decide to elope.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

omigoodness this post made me want to start planning again hahaha so i started an annonymous blog you guys can check out if you want
i dont work on mondays and had nothing better to do haha
smurfy''s blog

 

[cutiegirl84]

I haven''t started planning yet, but I am definitely obsessed with Wedding shows and watch them all the time: Rich Bride Poor Bride is great because they tell you how much they spent on the wedding, and i watch them so much I know more about weddings than my friend who got engaged last month! and if you have Style network I definitely recommend "Whose Wedding is it anyway" "I propose" and " Married Away" they are just great! I have got my BF thinking about what he wants in a wedding by watching it when i know he is around. Its just great. But when i get too frustrated with looking at e-rings online i go to bridal websites and look at dresses, and when I go out to eat i check the menus to see if they cater weddings!!

 

[misscuppycake]

My best friend is studying to be a teacher and she''s almost got her degree but her REAL passion is wedding planning. She''s not really all that close to getting engaged but she has her entire wedding planned out to the T. She even has a special folder for it! You''re not alone.

 

[anniee19]

I''ve been looking at some dresses online (mostly because I loooove fashion), but I don''t want to plan anything because I''m afraid it will ruin the "moment" for me, after I''m engaged. I guess looking online seems different.. I bought a bridal magazine a while back and felt guilty about it and was too embarassed my boyfriend would find it and think I was nuts!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Im just glad to know their are others out there like me! HA!

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Oh no, you are not the only one

I think I am even worse... I am already thinking about the something blue, something old, something borrowed I might wear on my wedding day

But isn''t it fun to make all these plans?
Do you share your plans with your future husband? I really wish I could, but I am feeling a bit silly about it and I fear that he would be terrified!

What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM
Author: Ms.Dreamy
What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

My guy sure isn''t! He is the one in our relationship who says he''s ready to get married (I want to live together first). Has he looked up venue information? Legal info about marrying someone not from his country? Visa information and costs? Anything? Nope! I think he thinks all that stuff just magically gets done. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit of a bonehead sometimes.

 

[Lexie]

Date: 3/31/2008 11:34:02 AM
Author:ringless
So, I know i've been bad... and I confess... I am obsessed with anything wedding related. Please dont confuse this crazy, obsessive behavior for me being more concerned with the idea of a wedding, ring, etc. as I couldn't be more ready to marry the man I love and have been with for almost 7 years! So, I am obsessed with viewing the www.weddingbee.com blog and other sites, as well as www.theknot.com and yes, even fake register for my dream items hehe.

Do any of you do this or am I just the craziest, most obsessive, 'in waiting' girl out there??!

I peruse Wedding Bee a lot

Thus far, my little on and off obsession has been limited to searching online or watching TV. I haven't gotten to the point where I'm checking out bridal magazines, but I may already have a couple of venues in mind courtesy of The Knot. I've definitely watched my fair share of wedding shows on WE, Style Network, FLN, & TLC, much to the dismay of my boyfriend, but I find them to be quite informative and fun to watch!

It's all pretty exciting, and uh.. cures boredom.

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 4/21/2008 11:08:10 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM

Author: Ms.Dreamy

What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

My guy sure isn''t! He is the one in our relationship who says he''s ready to get married (I want to live together first). Has he looked up venue information? Legal info about marrying someone not from his country? Visa information and costs? Anything? Nope! I think he thinks all that stuff just magically gets done. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit of a bonehead sometimes.

Hm, but at least he is ready to marry you!

So, you just have to ask him to get all the information needed - I''m sure that he''ll take care of these things once you asked him to. But this means that your BF and you don''t live in the same country at the moment? If this is the case, I would - as you already mentioned - prefer to move together first...

 

[sunnyd]

My guy wants no part of it. I''ll probaby force him to make some decisions, but this is what he said: "I know how it goes. When my sister got married, her husband just nodded and said ''yes, dear''. I''ll do whatever you want."

LOL, thanks hon...

 

[star sparkle]

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM
Author: Ms.Dreamy

What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

Well my guy and I just got engaged, and this weekend we bought a wedding magazine to look through (Martha Stewart Weddings). After we got it, I asked him if he had any colored Sharpies at his house so that we could circle things we liked. He said he didn''t, and suggested we stop somewhere and get some. We ended up buying this 3-pack that had 3 different colors.

When we got back to his place, he seemed really excited and said "Let''s go look at the magazine now!" So he grabbed the purple pen to circle things he liked, I grabbed the pink one to circle things I liked, and the green one was for us to circle things we both liked.

We looked through it once and then had to go somewhere, but before we put it away he said "maybe we can look through it again later!" Lol. Then as we were leaving I put all the pens together and told him to make sure he didn''t lose them (he has a really bad habit of misplacing things and never finding them again) and he said "I know, because they''re our wedding planning pens!"

Awwww.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/21/2008 12:00:08 PM
Author: Ms.Dreamy

Date: 4/21/2008 11:08:10 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM


Author: Ms.Dreamy


What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

My guy sure isn''t! He is the one in our relationship who says he''s ready to get married (I want to live together first). Has he looked up venue information? Legal info about marrying someone not from his country? Visa information and costs? Anything? Nope! I think he thinks all that stuff just magically gets done. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit of a bonehead sometimes.

Hm, but at least he is ready to marry you!

So, you just have to ask him to get all the information needed - I''m sure that he''ll take care of these things once you asked him to. But this means that your BF and you don''t live in the same country at the moment? If this is the case, I would - as you already mentioned - prefer to move together first...

Actually I would totally overwhelm him if I asked him to do that--at the moment, he''s already doing a job search and (supposedly) researching neighbourhoods in Manchester for us to move to in the summer, and that''s been a bit much for him. He is soooooo not good at multi-tasking it''s not even funny! I have asked him to help a bit with the visa/immigration paperwork which he is doing in his own time (which we don''t have much of), but that''s because I was having breakdowns from having to do it all myself in addition to going to grad school and paying off my student loans and working part-time and dealing with the stress of being away from home all year and having to be away another year still.

Just to give you a little background info, we''ve been together about 3 1/2 years, and 3 of those years have been long distance, with him in England and me in the US. I''m currently studying at Cambridge so I''m in his country, BUT he lives 200 miles away from my school, so we''re STILL long-distance. Since I will be graduating from an English school, I qualify for a special work visa (and might qualify for another one too since England is pretty desperate for teachers), so it''s (we think) easier for me to stay in the UK for us to live together, instead of him coming over to the US this summer. We COULD theoretically do that, but he''d have to come over on a fiance visa, which (alas and alack) would force us to get married within 90 days of entering the US, and I am NOT ready for that. He says he is, which is sweet, but I don''t want to get married because the government (or anyone else) says I have to. So, in order for us to live together, it seems I will probably have to live in the UK for another year, which requires lots of paperwork, money and time to prepare for. Then after we live together, we''ll have to do all the marriage visa paperwork, interviews (to prove we''re a real couple and that he''s not some mail-order husband

), and that will cost mucho dinero, and THEN maybe we will have to see if there''s any money/time/energy left into doing any wedding planning!

I KNOW the grass is always greener blah blah, but seriously, what I wouldn''t give to be able to live with J with the ease in which most of you ladies can live with your SOs! I know some of you want to be engaged and aren''t, but man oh MAN I would trade positions with you all in a heartbeat!! I love J and all, but our whole situation really, really sucks!

ANYWAY!! Sorry for the huge threadjack. Will try not to do it again!

 

[mintve]

you are not the only one. I already have ideas for locations, colors, dresses, guest list, honeymoons, etc. I know I will be able to officially plan soon, but I love to reserach and look into stuff and I don''t want to be engaged forever, so I am getting the ball rolling a bit