Am I the only one "Pre planning" my future wedding?

[LDubs]

I have an entire folder dedicated to random ideas I find - dresses, rings, invites (lots of them), flowers, etc. It''s insane, and I keep it well hidden on my C drive

I change my mind every month or so - big wedding, small wedding, simple, ornate, winter, spring. I don''t know what I''ll do when I have to finally make decisions! Ha!

 

[moderatelypoorstudent]

I occassionally look at dresses, but we haven''t even figured out which state we''d have it in so I think planning may seem a little difficult.

That being said, my roommate is getting married in June!!!! so... it''s impossible not to at least get a taste. I practically helped her do her invitations line by line!!! Maybe if she weren''t around giving me occassional updates about her wedding, I''d be way more interested in planning my own. But for now, I can help her plan hers!!! Yay!

Odd note: my SO asked me: so have you written down some ideas for us and taken notes on (roommate''s name)''s plans?
and I just said no, why should I plan anything? We aren''t engaged yet. I don''t know if it bothered him, but he didn''t seem terribly pleased.

maybe men want us to be planning???

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 4/21/2008 12:11:40 PM
Author: star sparkle

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM

Author: Ms.Dreamy


What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

Well my guy and I just got engaged, and this weekend we bought a wedding magazine to look through (Martha Stewart Weddings). After we got it, I asked him if he had any colored Sharpies at his house so that we could circle things we liked. He said he didn''t, and suggested we stop somewhere and get some. We ended up buying this 3-pack that had 3 different colors.


When we got back to his place, he seemed really excited and said ''Let''s go look at the magazine now!'' So he grabbed the purple pen to circle things he liked, I grabbed the pink one to circle things I liked, and the green one was for us to circle things we both liked.


We looked through it once and then had to go somewhere, but before we put it away he said ''maybe we can look through it again later!'' Lol. Then as we were leaving I put all the pens together and told him to make sure he didn''t lose them (he has a really bad habit of misplacing things and never finding them again) and he said ''I know, because they''re our wedding planning pens!''


Awwww.

Oh, that is cool!

Congratulations for your BF being interested in planning

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 4/21/2008 12:46:15 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 4/21/2008 12:00:08 PM

Author: Ms.Dreamy

Date: 4/21/2008 11:08:10 AM


Author: gwendolyn

Date: 4/21/2008 8:41:25 AM



Author: Ms.Dreamy



What I really wonder is if there are any men out there doing stuff like this???

This would be really sweet!!!

My guy sure isn''t! He is the one in our relationship who says he''s ready to get married (I want to live together first). Has he looked up venue information? Legal info about marrying someone not from his country? Visa information and costs? Anything? Nope! I think he thinks all that stuff just magically gets done. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit of a bonehead sometimes.

Hm, but at least he is ready to marry you!

So, you just have to ask him to get all the information needed - I''m sure that he''ll take care of these things once you asked him to. But this means that your BF and you don''t live in the same country at the moment? If this is the case, I would - as you already mentioned - prefer to move together first...

Actually I would totally overwhelm him if I asked him to do that--at the moment, he''s already doing a job search and (supposedly) researching neighbourhoods in Manchester for us to move to in the summer, and that''s been a bit much for him. He is soooooo not good at multi-tasking it''s not even funny! I have asked him to help a bit with the visa/immigration paperwork which he is doing in his own time (which we don''t have much of), but that''s because I was having breakdowns from having to do it all myself in addition to going to grad school and paying off my student loans and working part-time and dealing with the stress of being away from home all year and having to be away another year still.


Just to give you a little background info, we''ve been together about 3 1/2 years, and 3 of those years have been long distance, with him in England and me in the US. I''m currently studying at Cambridge so I''m in his country, BUT he lives 200 miles away from my school, so we''re STILL long-distance. Since I will be graduating from an English school, I qualify for a special work visa (and might qualify for another one too since England is pretty desperate for teachers), so it''s (we think) easier for me to stay in the UK for us to live together, instead of him coming over to the US this summer. We COULD theoretically do that, but he''d have to come over on a fiance visa, which (alas and alack) would force us to get married within 90 days of entering the US, and I am NOT ready for that. He says he is, which is sweet, but I don''t want to get married because the government (or anyone else) says I have to. So, in order for us to live together, it seems I will probably have to live in the UK for another year, which requires lots of paperwork, money and time to prepare for. Then after we live together, we''ll have to do all the marriage visa paperwork, interviews (to prove we''re a real couple and that he''s not some mail-order husband

), and that will cost mucho dinero, and THEN maybe we will have to see if there''s any money/time/energy left into doing any wedding planning!

I KNOW the grass is always greener blah blah, but seriously, what I wouldn''t give to be able to live with J with the ease in which most of you ladies can live with your SOs! I know some of you want to be engaged and aren''t, but man oh MAN I would trade positions with you all in a heartbeat!! I love J and all, but our whole situation really, really sucks!


ANYWAY!! Sorry for the huge threadjack. Will try not to do it again!

I understand your situation and your point that all of these "problems" of being engaged or not/ having to wait... are no serious problems compared to yours! As you said, it is a great gift if you are able to live with your BF and spend your time and your life together. That has nothing to do with having a ring on your finger... Sometimes a "lady in waitig" forgets about all that because she is so concentrated on the whole engagement/wedding-topic...

I agree that it would be the best idea if you''ll stay in the UK for a while after your graduation. (I wish you all the best! I am graduating this summer too

)
In my opinion you shold wait until you are BOTH ready to get engaged instead of being forced to get married by the government...