Another in-law issue

[meresal]

Date: 12/28/2009 5:58:45 PM
Author: soontowed
UPDATE: My FI talked to his mom but his words fell on deaf ears. She just doesn''t get it. All she said was ''they''ll behave.'' We were at FIL''s house Christmas Day and FMIL totally put me on the spot - she started saying '' I just wanted to let you know that the kids will behave'' What was I supposed to do, tell her what I really think of her in front of their whole family on christmas day, and not to mention when I''m stuck at her house the enitre weekend?

I am calling the banquet manager later this week to let her know that I want the children removed from the reception if I so much as hear them breath. I have ZERO tolerance for children or parents who think that just because they like their kids so does everyone else.

She put you in a bad situation... however, if you really care, now that the weekend is over, you should call her or go see her in person yourself.

Sunny, I agree with you. I don''t understand how she doesn''t understand that NO ONE ELSE is allowed to bring their children, no matter how well behaved they are. I assure you, that the banquet hall is not going to act as the deciding authority when it comes to someone else''s children. They are usually only required to escort out patrons that are too intoxicated.

You need to take this into your own hands. If you do not even try, it is only your fault if they ruin your evening. This would be a HUGE deal between myself and my FI if he was not making the point to his own family. Tell him to man up and stop worrying about upsetting his mom.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 12/28/2009 6:05:56 PM
Author: sunnyd
Sounds like he needs to yell louder. If he said something like, 'I'm sure they'll be good, but they really can't come,' that's a lot different than 'If they arrive with kids, they will be escorted out.' How do they not understand that everyone else is geting babysitters and that it would be rude of them to come?! Was this made explicit to them? I don't get it.

ETA: I agree with girlface that this will look really bad to the inlaws, hopefully if you want any relationship with them, it will recover from this.

sunnyd - You don't get it because you don't have their mentality which thinks that they have a right to impose their children on everyone regardless of other people's feelings.

soontowed- All I can do is send you my best regards for your big day and ask you not to let this overshadow what should be about the first day of the rest of your life with your husband.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 12/28/2009 6:17:46 PM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 12/28/2009 6:05:56 PM
Author: sunnyd
Sounds like he needs to yell louder. If he said something like, ''I''m sure they''ll be good, but they really can''t come,'' that''s a lot different than ''If they arrive with kids, they will be escorted out.'' How do they not understand that everyone else is geting babysitters and that it would be rude of them to come?! Was this made explicit to them? I don''t get it.

ETA: I agree with girlface that this will look really bad to the inlaws, hopefully if you want any relationship with them, it will recover from this.

You don''t get it because you don''t have their mentality which thinks that they have a right to impose their children on everyone regardless of other people''s feelings.

Ah yes, how silly of me.

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Date: 12/28/2009 6:13:34 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/28/2009 5:58:45 PM
Author: soontowed
UPDATE: My FI talked to his mom but his words fell on deaf ears. She just doesn''t get it. All she said was ''they''ll behave.'' We were at FIL''s house Christmas Day and FMIL totally put me on the spot - she started saying '' I just wanted to let you know that the kids will behave'' What was I supposed to do, tell her what I really think of her in front of their whole family on christmas day, and not to mention when I''m stuck at her house the enitre weekend?

I am calling the banquet manager later this week to let her know that I want the children removed from the reception if I so much as hear them breath. I have ZERO tolerance for children or parents who think that just because they like their kids so does everyone else.

She put you in a bad situation... however, if you really care, now that the weekend is over, you should call her or go see her in person yourself.

Sunny, I agree with you. I don''t understand how she doesn''t understand that NO ONE ELSE is allowed to bring their children, no matter how well behaved they are. I assure you, that the banquet hall is not going to act as the deciding authority when it comes to someone else''s children. They are usually only required to escort out patrons that are too intoxicated.

You need to take this into your own hands. If you do not even try, it is only your fault if they ruin your evening. This would be a HUGE deal between myself and my FI if he was not making the point to his own family. Tell him to man up and stop worrying about upsetting his mom.

Ditto...especially to the part about taking it into your own hands. Others have mentioned babysitters...is it possible to set up a babysitting room at the venue? Not sure how much it would cost, but if it is at a hotel you could book a room and they could watch videos or somethin'' during the wedding. So, when they arrive, the kids are immediately sent to the babysitting room and their parents could retrieve them at some point when they leave.

I''m so sorry this is happenning. I normally wouldn''t mind kids being there either, but I do have one family member whose kids I cannot stand...and I would be furious if they brought them against my wishes...so I can relate!!