Anyone else hate being a bride?

[pocahontas]

Like Bee, I''m not a BWW anymore either (got married in April) and like her, I LOVED everything about the wedding planning process. DH and I had a DW and aside from the initial disappointment and reluctance of our parents, I found the entire process exciting and fun. Truth be told, I miss it! I''m sorry to hear your experience has been what it is. This is an exciting time in your life as you prepare to mary your FI and it shouldn''t be one filled with dread and despair. I hope it gets better for you!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 8/25/2009 10:26:27 PM
Author: cindygenit
Me hates it sometimes

I am handling all aspects of the wedding and I feel overwhelmed (sometimes). FI is in his own little world, not really caring about wedding details

Another part I hate... vendor replying to me in their own time. Really, I am going to pay you money, so you should reply to all my emails ASAP! SHeeshhhh

OMG Cindy!! I am finding that after the initial email, when i show some interest in their product / service i just don''t hear back from them!! Argh! aren''t we meant to be in a GEC and everyone should be chasing us for our money?? lol.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 8/25/2009 12:45:32 PM
Author:elledizzy5
With the exception of chiming in on BWW, does anyone else hate talking about being a bride?

I hate the wedding planning. I hate everyone asking me how wedding planning is going. I hate the details and decision making. I honestly don''t care about being a bride, and I''m not nit-picky about anything. I''m sick of always being on the phone with wedding vendors, and I''m sick of my lunch hours being devoted to wedding-related stuff! I''m even *gasp* getting sick of showing people my ring! I just wish it was all done already. Ive been planning for 3 months. I don''t know how you brides with a year of planning and hundreds of guests are handling it!

I swear I''m not a negative person. I''m actually really excited for the wedding day and to marry my FI! I just wish I could just hand someone my entire wedding budget and just say ''GO!'' (well, I guess you can do that, but its too late now

)

Anywho.. anyone else missing the bride gene, and can''t wait to just be happily married?

::Raises hand::

I''m so not a bride. I don''t look good in white. I have no desire to spend money on a wedding. Even now, wedding planning makes me so anxious. I fooled myself into believing that I would look forward to it all but it just isn''t me. And luckily, it isn''t FI either. We are the ''do you have this Friday off so we can go to the courthouse and get married?'' kind of people (which is exactly what we are doing the next Friday he has off

)

 

[cindygenit]

Date: 8/25/2009 10:32:50 PM
Author: hawaiianorangetree

Date: 8/25/2009 10:26:27 PM
Author: cindygenit
Me hates it sometimes

I am handling all aspects of the wedding and I feel overwhelmed (sometimes). FI is in his own little world, not really caring about wedding details

Another part I hate... vendor replying to me in their own time. Really, I am going to pay you money, so you should reply to all my emails ASAP! SHeeshhhh

OMG Cindy!! I am finding that after the initial email, when i show some interest in their product / service i just don''t hear back from them!! Argh! aren''t we meant to be in a GEC and everyone should be chasing us for our money?? lol.

I KNOW! Why aren''t they?

Perth-ian vendors must be rich or something...

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/25/2009 12:45:32 PM
Author:elledizzy5
With the exception of chiming in on BWW, does anyone else hate talking about being a bride?

I hate the wedding planning. I hate everyone asking me how wedding planning is going. I hate the details and decision making. I honestly don''t care about being a bride, and I''m not nit-picky about anything. I''m sick of always being on the phone with wedding vendors, and I''m sick of my lunch hours being devoted to wedding-related stuff! I''m even *gasp* getting sick of showing people my ring! I just wish it was all done already. Ive been planning for 3 months. I don''t know how you brides with a year of planning and hundreds of guests are handling it!

I swear I''m not a negative person. I''m actually really excited for the wedding day and to marry my FI! I just wish I could just hand someone my entire wedding budget and just say ''GO!'' (well, I guess you can do that, but its too late now

)

Anywho.. anyone else missing the bride gene, and can''t wait to just be happily married?

ditto 100% except we have no idea what our budget is since everyone keeps on saying "well, what you think is affordable, but what you want, honey"

grr. nothing is affordable that i want. duh.

 

[Bia]

me

 

[katamari]

On the bright side, Elle, you are having one of the shortest engagements ever.

I do hate people asking me about it. A) I do plenty things more important and challenging that they never want to talk to me about and B) I want things to be a surprise and the more people ask and want to talk about it, the less likely they are to think it is special when they see it (at least in my mind). But, I do think it will all be worth it.

 

[Lauren8211]

Holy crap. I was not expecting this many people to feel the same way I do!

I guess I don't have to feel guilty for not digging the whole Bride-in-Waiting thing!

Fiery: What Friday is that?? Should I put you on the BIW list?

Bia: Your response was the best one ever.

Princesss: I am also a control freak. That makes it worse. I hate planning, but I won't let anyone else do it.

Londongirl1: It's not really drama that's bumming me out, it's just that I'm sick of planning and sick of TALKING about planning. That's all anyone ever asks about anymore!

Purselover: I'm also loving my short engagement! I don't know how I'd survive another YEAR of this!

Gwen: LOL... sounds like my mother! She makes a huge issue of every little thing! The worst part is that my mom has a terrible memory, so she makes a huge issue of whatever issue she had last week, the next week.

bee* : Wow. I'm glad you had a great experience! I am trying to enjoy it but its just not my thing.

italia: Yes, it will be worth it. I know that much.

Amanda: Yes it's too late! Date is October 10 of this year. I'll survive. I still want the wedding, I just dont want to plan it!

NewEnglandLady: Yes, we did certainly enjoy cake tasting.

Im with you though... I honestly don't care about the details. it makes it hard to be excited about planning them.

Charbie: It IS neverending! You'll be planning until the minute you walk down that aisle! UGH!

laughwithme: I've only been planning about 2 1/2 months.

I think its just a personality thing with me. just. dont. like. it.

Equestrienne: Im glad you're digging it! I can't wait to hear all about your details!!

Katamari: That's the only way I would have survived the wedding planning! Thank goodness for short engagements!!

Everyone else: Thanks for your support! I'm so glad others do feel the same way, and I"m glad there's a few here who actually enjoyed it to remind me to try and stay positive!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/26/2009 8:28:33 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Londongirl1: It''s not really drama that''s bumming me out, it''s just that I''m sick of planning and sick of TALKING about planning. That''s all anyone ever asks about anymore!

I hear ya! It''s just a shame that what should be a lovely time of planning your wedding seems to be stressing you out.

I suppose if I had the FMIL from hell I''d be stressed to

Good luck with your plans

 

[elrohwen]

I totally agree. I've been planning for 14 months now and I'm so sick of it. Though I did probably spend 6 months not doing anything ... We kind of booked a bunch of vendors, then did nothing for 6 months. I really didn't get my butt back in gear until 2 months ago.

I really don't get what women mean when they say they "feel like a bride." I just don't comprehend. I do honestly hate wedding planning and sometimes wish we had eloped ... but I know that I'm going to be happy that we had our wedding and got to see all of our friends. Almost all of them live out of town, and it will be totally worth it to have them all in one place again. I just keep trying to think about that when I get frustrated with everything.

ETA: Londongirl, I get what you're saying about brides starting drama, but no matter how easy you try to make it, there's no getting away from it being a lot of work. I don't find making decisions stressful, my family hasn't really caused any drama (until a tiny bit recently), and I went into this thing being laid back and wanting as low stress of a wedding as possible. Really what I hate is that I have a full time job and just want to relax when I'm done. My job is stressful enough and takes up enough of my time, so I get resentful when I have to spend my free time at home calling vendors, making lists of things to do, etc. My wedding has been as stress free as it was possible to make it, but that doesn't mean I don't have to do any work. And I'm pretty sure even if I had a wedding planner, I would still have to do a lot ... they can't try my cake, go to my fittings, or pick out songs for the dj, can they? So, in a nutshell, that's what I hate about wedding planning. It's not a labor of love for me, it's just a lot of extra work. Maybe if my job were low stress and if I didn't travel all of the time, it wouldn't be such a big deal and I would actually enjoy putting effort into my wedding.

 

[Miscka]

Me me me me me me me. I hate it! Once I picked out my dress, etc I was like....ehhhh. I go in spurts. I have to psych myself up to get anything done about it, and then I will be a flurry of activity, and then a sloth again. I really just HATE dealing with it all. Doesn''t help that I am actually already married, so NOTHING will change at all. Just an excuse to dress up and see friends/family.

 

[Patchee]

I have to admit I did not enjoy ANY of the planning. Seems too stressful for my non-stressed self

Being a bride the day of my wedding was ok but I do not like attention soley on me... thank goodness for the groom eh ?

 

[Laila619]

It was definitely stressful, that's for sure. Especially since we only had a 5 month engagement and my poor DH got mono right in the middle of the planning and was out of comission for weeks.

But did I hate it--no. I really miss being a bride!! It's such a special time in a girl's life.

 

[wyndham]

Date: 8/26/2009 8:28:33 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Holy crap. I was not expecting this many people to feel the same way I do!

I guess I don''t have to feel guilty for not digging the whole Bride-in-Waiting thing!

Londongirl1: It''s not really drama that''s bumming me out, it''s just that I''m sick of planning and sick of TALKING about planning. That''s all anyone ever asks about anymore!

Elle, I completely hear you on this point!!

I am getting married in October as well and will have been engaged for 15 months by the time we get married...WAY too long of an engagement for me! FI and I made an unofficial ''rule'' about a month into our engagment that we would try to limit ''wedding talk'' to just each other and our parents. It''s actually worked out really well -- whenever people say ''how''s the wedding planning going?'', we just say ''oh, it''s great, we''re looking forward to the big day...what''s new with you?''. I think that most people are actually *relieved* not to have to hear a bride drone on and on about endless details, but they feel like they *should* ask to be polite.
I''ve found that limiting how much I talk about it helps me feel less fed-up...although only slightly less so!

Glad I''m not alone, either!

 

[tlroza]

I just had to respond.

I got engaged the end of June. My FI and I talked about getting married September 2011. The venue would be San Diego and we would invited all of his friends from Canada (he''s Canadian)

The more we talked and decided we just wanted to get married. We ordered our bands, went to the court and got our license and picked a day in September this year to go to the court house.

We will have our witnesses, get married on a friday night. After that, we will go to the little jazz club where we had our first date, have a drink and go over to his brothers house to celebrate. Then we leave for 4 days in Las Vegas. Anyone who wants to join us, is more than welcome to book a flight and a room.

Maybe because I''ve been married before and know the nightmares involved in planning a big wedding. My FI has never been married, we are in our 40''s and rather spend the money on a HUGE vacation.

All I have to find is a new pair of shoes to go with a stunning cocktail dress that I''ve only worn once and I am good to go!

 

[ficklefaye]

oh elle, thank you so much for starting this thread

i wouldnt say that i hate being a bride, but i''m not really enjoying this wedding planning, honestly, it is partly because i''m not having the wedding i wanted because i had to do some compromising with FI, i wanted a small intimate wedding, but now our guestlist is pretty much set at 150

it''s funny because just the other day, someone told me that i looked calm too, i didn''t realize that i was supposed to looked stressed and frazzled

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/26/2009 9:16:47 PM
Author: tlroza
I just had to respond.

I got engaged the end of June. My FI and I talked about getting married September 2011. The venue would be San Diego and we would invited all of his friends from Canada (he''s Canadian)

The more we talked and decided we just wanted to get married. We ordered our bands, went to the court and got our license and picked a day in September this year to go to the court house.

We will have our witnesses, get married on a friday night. After that, we will go to the little jazz club where we had our first date, have a drink and go over to his brothers house to celebrate. Then we leave for 4 days in Las Vegas. Anyone who wants to join us, is more than welcome to book a flight and a room.

Maybe because I''ve been married before and know the nightmares involved in planning a big wedding. My FI has never been married, we are in our 40''s and rather spend the money on a HUGE vacation.

All I have to find is a new pair of shoes to go with a stunning cocktail dress that I''ve only worn once and I am good to go!

Great - good for you