Anyone have a hyphenated name or two middles?

[SarahLovesJS]

Is it a lot of trouble? Thus far my plan has been just to drop my middle when I get married and be First Maiden DHLastname, but I want to explore these two options as well. Anyone have any experiences and/or advice?

 

[star sparkle]

I have a hyphenated name (father''s last and mother''s last) and plan on getting rid of it when I get married. I find that it''s more of a hassle than anything, people don''t know how to handle it, it''s really long, and people usually end up referring to you by one or the other anyway. I''ve never liked it and am looking forward to have a single, short, concise last name in the near future.

 

[Elmorton]

Sarah, mine is First Maiden Newlast - and people were confused at first (I graduated right after getting married so I was job searching) and it ended up being hyphenated on several documents.

My take with the name thing is that is doesn''t matter what you want to be called - people will adjust, but it''s important to be VERY clear as to what you want to be called. The less work you do, the less others will, too.

 

[KimberlyH]

I have two middle names, the one given to me at birth and my maiden name, and I haven''t had any problems. The only issue that I have run into is getting through airport security as they aren''t sure which is my last name on my drivers license, so I book flights First Name Maiden Name Last Name.

 

[onedrop]

I have a hyphenated last name so my DL reads as follows MyFirstName MyMiddleName MyMaidenName-HisLastName. Yes, there is a lot of writing on my DL! To be honest I am not consistent on much of anything. At work and professionally I still go by my maiden name. However on most legal documents I go by what''s on my DL. I haven''t changed my passport yet because we are travelling soon and I didn''t want any confusion so I booked the flight in my maiden name.

My biggest issue is that my DH''s last name while not very long, does not allow for accurate pronunciation. There is actually an accent on one of the letters, but rarely can you place an accent on public documents, so people are always mispronouncing it. Other than that I haven''t had many problems. I actually really like my hyphenated last name.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have four names. First, middle, maiden, and married name. My intent was to go by first, maiden and married, like Hillary Rodham Clinton or Sandra Day O''Connor where you just don''t think of them without the maiden name. I was very specific that my two last names NOT be hyphenated, but people hyphenate all the time. In fact, most businesses can''t seem to not hyphenate- airlines, credit cards, insurance, etc. Even my workplace hyphenated for me in my email address, so I do go by a hyphenated name there even though I didn''t want it.

Honestly, if I could do it again, I would either only use first and married name, or just keep my maiden name. Pain in the butt!

 

[rainwood]

I''ve had a hyphenated name for more than 30 years and it isn''t really a problem. The first few years, Social Security didn''t know what to do with us hyphenates and our tax return would get fouled up, but they finally figured it out. It probably helps that the two names in my last name are only one syllable each so it''s still only ten letters long. What I like about it is my name works as an excellent screening device. When someone calls and asks for Mrs. HisLastName, I know it''s a solicitation and I tell them she''s not here. Works like a charm.

 

[Krissie]

Hi there -

I just changed my name (after 7 months of marriage) to FIRSTNAME MIDDLE MAIDEN(MIDDLE) HISLASTNAME

So, I now legally have 2 middle names. I will rarely use all 4; plan to use my maiden as middle name on everything official, as it''s the name under which I have my degrees and licenses. HTH!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Thanks everyone! Okay so for those of you with two-middles..which middle does it show on your driver''s license and social security card? The first or second? Because if I changed it and it ended up being Sarah Middle NewLast instead of Sarah Maiden NewLast that would defeat my purpose. In short..I want to take his last name and retain my maiden name, but I also looking for a way to potentially keep my middle name. Thanks again!

 

[KimberlyH]

Both show on my drivers license, hence the issues at security check in the airport.

 

[LGK]

While on my driver's licence and casually I'm Firstname Middlename Marriedname, with my maiden name dropped entirely, I still file taxes as Firstname Middlename Maidenname... but, the IRS effed it up, and so they address me as Firstname Middlename Maidenname-Marriedname, hyphenated... and thus, from the IRS it spreads like a virus, and so I get mail as hyphenated name a lot. Also, my paychecks keep reverting back to my maiden name too, which is annoying, because my bank account is my legal, married name (and I've been married for seven years!) and every tiem I deposit at a different branch I get quizzed hard, or not allowed to deposit my paychecks. (But every time I fix it with Paychex they just revert to my maiden name after a few months, somehow... I've totally given up by now, and just deposit at the branch that knows me.) Oh, and my passport is still my maiden name, and so I travel under that a lot.

Eh, there's always going to be confusion. Just go with what you want to do, and get used to correcting people A LOT.

Also my married name is realllly simple, but mispronounced by like 95% of people, including my mom and my sister. It's very close to a celebrity's name, just one letter off, but pronounced totally different... so, despite the different spelling, we all get called by the celebrity's pronunciation..

 

[Octavia]

LittleGreyKitten, the reason you might be having problems with the IRS and your employer is that the IRS issues what they call "No-Match Letters" when the name/SS#/income your employer reports to them doesn't match the name they have associated with your SS# in their database. They basically inform your employer of the discrepancy, and then your employer is supposed to fix it before they report to the IRS the next time (quarterly, I think?). You need to file your taxes under whatever name is on your Social Security card or you cause all sorts of bureaucratic headaches.

What it comes down to in any case is that you can go by whatever you want, socially -- but any legal documents you sign should always be under your legal name. I know of women who have gone by their husbands' last names since they were married, but never bothered to change their name legally, which is absolutely fine as long as they use the proper name in the proper context. And 99% of people are never the wiser to it.

 

[FrekeChild]

Great question. I''ve been considering this too. I think I''m going to do Freke MiddleMaiden HisLast. Because my Maiden name is a common First or Middle name, I think this will work alright even though it might be kind of odd.

Eh well.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I have exactly what you described, First Maiden DHLast and it took some getting used to, and in certain situations, my name did end up hyphenated.

I go by First DHLast, and it''s finally starting to sink in.

 

[Scorpioanne]

I don't have a hyphen and I don't use my maiden as a middle but as the first part of my double surname. I occasionally get called by just my last last but it doesn't bug me. Occasionally things that are filed alphabetically are misfiled as people don't know what to do but I usually just tell them to look under first last or last last. I have been told my name sounds like the name of an author, I like it for its snooty upper crust sound

and I do have to say that if I hadn't liked my DH's name and how it sounded with mine I wouldn't have added it and would have just used my maiden (I'm shallow that way

). I have been married for almost 4 years and have never bothered to go to Revenue Canada to change it there and it hasn't been an issue (maybe because the administrator at my work just still gives me my tax form in my maiden name and I don't bother to bug her to change it).

 

[VRBeauty]

I have two middles. Not a problem. Some institutions will use whatever I give them, some will use only one middle or one middle initial. My workplace always issues checks only one middle initial. I always endorsed it with my signature -- two middies. The bank has never balked at depositing or cashing these checks!

My middle names (eastern) were given to me as my first name though I always went by my original middle (western) middle name. That caused problems! So.. I changed my name legally to reflect the way I use it when the opportunity came up.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I dropped by middle and replaced it with my maiden but this reminded me of my FBIL b/c he has two middle names AND a hyphenated last name. He hates it so much he is legally dropping his mom''s last name and one of his middle names.

 

[PinkTower]

As a teacher, I would advise you to think about how much trouble the name can be to your children and their peers. Often people outside the family do not know how to handle exceptional names. The child has a hard time learning to write the name, and the teacher is often too busy to write lengthy names. They do not fit on the cubbies, or on the line in the roll book.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Just wanted to say thanks again everyone and Pink there are no worries about that I''m only going to use FI''s name for our children (oh my lord not any time soon though please

).

 

[qtiekiki]

My legal name is First Name, Middle Name consisting of two separate words for the two characters of my Chinese name, Maiden Name-DH''s Last Name. So it''s XXX XXX XXX XXX-XXX, making it extremely long. I use that name for all my legal documents, and that''s exactly how they show up on my SS card, license, etc. Haven''t really have any problems.

No one uses my whole name IRL. Most people just go with FirstName DH''sLastName. Some still go by my FirstName MaidenName. I can go by either of those or MaidenName-DH''sLastName. Doesn''t really matter to me.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I have two middles and the world is just not made for two middle names. They are both listed on my driver''s license and passport, but have never had an issue when I book a plane ticket using just one. For the most part I just use the initials as my middle (which is IK, ha!), but sometimes there is only room for one initial. I alternate whichever one I feel like using. I am glad I kept them both, but it''s not practical.

 

[ladypirate]

FF and I are both planning on taking each others name when we get married, so we'll both be FirstName MiddleName MyLast HisLast. This means my official name, including spaces, will be 33 letters long and his will be 30. Ouch! Still worth it to me, though, to have us each adopting part of each other's name.