Anyone have any experience with unfriendly women...

[galeteia]

Date: 5/26/2006 11:48:28 AM
Author: monarch64
My favorite comment is: ''OMG, you''re SO tall? How tall are you?'' I have never in my life looked at someone and said ''OMG, you''re SO short! How short ARE you???'' People honestly have no idea sometimes how rude they come across. As if I didn''t realize I was taller than many people. Hmmph.

]

The one I get all the time is "OMG, you have long hair!" Really?! I hadn''t noticed... except for that moment this morning when I sat on it by accident!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 5/26/2006 7:48:25 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 5/26/2006 11:48:28 AM
Author: monarch64
My favorite comment is: ''OMG, you''re SO tall? How tall are you?'' I have never in my life looked at someone and said ''OMG, you''re SO short! How short ARE you???'' People honestly have no idea sometimes how rude they come across. As if I didn''t realize I was taller than many people. Hmmph.

]

The one I get all the time is ''OMG, you have long hair!'' Really?! I hadn''t noticed... except for that moment this morning when I sat on it by accident!

Yup, hence the expression, "were you born in a barn?" I could write a book on what NOT to say to people...or at least how to express things in a more complimentary fashion. Another one that ties into this that I think Jenstone mentioned is the "OMG, how many carats is that ring!"

A more complimentary way to declare one''s appreciation of things might be to say, "oh, what a lovely ring," "my, it must be wonderful to be so nice and tall," or "your long hair is just beautiful!" My mother always used to remind me that not everyone had the good fortune of being brought up by someone who taught them decent manners.

 

[LizzieC]

Date: 5/26/2006 11:48:28 AM
Author: monarch64
My favorite comment is: ''OMG, you''re SO tall? How tall are you?'' I have never in my life looked at someone and said ''OMG, you''re SO short! How short ARE you???'' People honestly have no idea sometimes how rude they come across. As if I didn''t realize I was taller than many people. Hmmph.

Hee hee... I get asked that question on an almost daily basis!

I don''t mind... I like being short!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 5/26/2006 10:38:43 PM
Author: LizzieC

Date: 5/26/2006 11:48:28 AM
Author: monarch64
My favorite comment is: ''OMG, you''re SO tall? How tall are you?'' I have never in my life looked at someone and said ''OMG, you''re SO short! How short ARE you???'' People honestly have no idea sometimes how rude they come across. As if I didn''t realize I was taller than many people. Hmmph.

Hee hee... I get asked that question on an almost daily basis!

I don''t mind... I like being short!

LOL, LizzieC! I''m so glad you shared that perspective. I have always wondered if "short" people were asked this question just the same as "tall" people! Being on the opposite side of the spectrum as you, I''ve always found it kind of offensive when people seem so shocked at my height. (Although I''m 5''10", I love to wear 2-3 inch heels, so I get questions all the time on "how tall are you really?") I guess we''re kind of in the same boat, and although I''ve completely accepted and embraced my height, maybe I should have a more positive outlook on what sometimes is just simply curiosity on someone''s part. THANK YOU for your perspective. I feel I handle most of the comments gracefully, but sometimes I just get tired of hearing it. I grew up in a small town in southern IN where tall females were expected to play basketball. I was never the athletic type, and preferred playing piano and books to athleticism...the comment I always got there was "how tall are you? Do you play basketball?" It was neverending, and I got tired of explaining myself. I guess I thought of it back then that it was such an assumption, and I related it then to asking a woman when she was due if she had a bit of a belly. It''s nice to hear that someone who is smaller in stature goes through the same thing, but actually takes it as a compliment--that''s so cool!

 

[Selkie]

Date: 5/26/2006 11:31:06 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 5/26/2006 10:38:43 PM

I was never the athletic type, and preferred playing piano and books to athleticism...the comment I always got there was 'how tall are you? Do you play basketball?' It was neverending, and I got tired of explaining myself.

You must be my long lost twin! I'm 5'9", which isn't THAT tall, but I was always the tallest girl until high school. I got the same exact question, even though I was a total bookworm non-athlete. I guess these days it would be "Do you play volleyball?"

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/26/2006 11:44:45 PM
Author: Selkie

Date: 5/26/2006 11:31:06 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 5/26/2006 10:38:43 PM

I was never the athletic type, and preferred playing piano and books to athleticism...the comment I always got there was ''how tall are you? Do you play basketball?'' It was neverending, and I got tired of explaining myself.

You must be my long lost twin! I''m 5''9'', which isn''t THAT tall, but I was always the tallest girl until high school. I got the same exact question, even though I was a total bookworm non-athlete. I guess these days it would be ''Do you play volleyball?''

Almost 5''10 and can''t jump worth beans...or dribble!

 

[portoar]

Tawn, I know just how you feel! In my 30s and "BK" (before kids) I was gorgeous (tall, athletic, shapely, busty) -- I''m 5''11", and when I''m regularly lap swimming, more like 6''. People used to stare all the time. One time I actually went into a packed business meeting, and as I entered the room, it fell silent as everyone turned to look at me and then someone blurted out, "My God, you look like a goddess!"

I''m no longer a "goddess," but I do remember what it''s like -- it''s funny, I''m a quiet, introspective, homebody type -- and people at work used to make all these comments about what a fabulous single life I had. I used to wonder exactly what they thought I was getting up to in my off hours, so one day when I got another comment about my fabulous life, I asked them. They thought I was out on dates every night, swarms of men around me, parties, sort of the life the blonde receptionist in the show WKRP Cincinnatti used to have. That really made me laugh . . . if they only knew the truth. My entire life consisted of going to work and also working out before and after work, because I was rowing competitively. I didn''t have any time for a date, other than going out to breakfast with crew members, and then we were all dirty and smelly from rowing. I was envious of THEM having a family and kids to come home to every night instead of an empty condo.

I''m years away from my "goddess" days, but I do live in Southern California now (north San Diego county) and these San Diego moms are the snobbiest in the world. I know what you mean about them all having the same Eddie Bauer outfit! They are so clique-ish and frankly immature. Don''t let them get you down. Stand tall and be proud of your gorgeous height beautiful figure! You are so sweet, eventually they will realize they don''t have to be threatened by your beauty.

 

[monarch64]

Wow, can we nickname this thread "the tall thread"?! LOL! Tawn, this has just got to make you feel better! Thank goodness for PS sometimes, it really can be a great support group for situations like yours. Even for me, and I''m not currently going through what you are, it has been nice to see other women come forth and relate their trials and tribulations on what it''s really like to be one of those women who stands out in a crowd and commands people''s attention. It can be a tough thing, but on the other hand, is such a blessing at times. I mean, we never really go unnoticed, we don''t have to get our pants and skirts hemmed after every shopping trip, and we can reach things on the top shelves, lol!

I was sorry to see Ayla on American Idol go this year so early...she was the embodiment of a tall, attractive woman and was so poised and talented. I honestly thought a few times that some voters probably thought she was a snoot due to her looks, stature, talent, and status as a politician''s daughter, unfortunately. Like Simon said, she was used to being good at everything in life, though, and she will go on to many more successes. Ok, off of my soapbox, sorry y''all!

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/27/2006 12:09:39 AM
Author: portoar
Tawn, I know just how you feel! In my 30s and ''BK'' (before kids) I was gorgeous (tall, athletic, shapely, busty) -- I''m 5''11'', and when I''m regularly lap swimming, more like 6''. People used to stare all the time. One time I actually went into a packed business meeting, and as I entered the room, it fell silent as everyone turned to look at me and then someone blurted out, ''My God, you look like a goddess!''

I''m no longer a ''goddess,'' but I do remember what it''s like -- it''s funny, I''m a quiet, introspective, homebody type -- and people at work used to make all these comments about what a fabulous single life I had. I used to wonder exactly what they thought I was getting up to in my off hours, so one day when I got another comment about my fabulous life, I asked them. They thought I was out on dates every night, swarms of men around me, parties, sort of the life the blonde receptionist in the show WKRP Cincinnatti used to have. That really made me laugh . . . if they only knew the truth. My entire life consisted of going to work and also working out before and after work, because I was rowing competitively. I didn''t have any time for a date, other than going out to breakfast with crew members, and then we were all dirty and smelly from rowing. I was envious of THEM having a family and kids to come home to every night instead of an empty condo.

I''m years away from my ''goddess'' days, but I do live in Southern California now (north San Diego county) and these San Diego moms are the snobbiest in the world. I know what you mean about them all having the same Eddie Bauer outfit! They are so clique-ish and frankly immature. Don''t let them get you down. Stand tall and be proud of your gorgeous height beautiful figure! You are so sweet, eventually they will realize they don''t have to be threatened by your beauty.

I loved that show!! I had forgotten all about it! The San Diego "Eddies" are really snobby...and I doubt I''ll ever fit in, but I''ll keep trying!

In my experience, a lot of men are really intimidated by tall women. Most of the guys who would ask me out back in the PH (pre-husband) days were bodybuilders and male model/stripper types?? It only took a couple of dates for me to decide that I didn''t like most those guys, but the nice guys always seemed scared of me? My husband is a real average Joe looking guy, but he''s got a huge personality and loads of confidence! He occasionally brings up the fact that all my other boyfriends were perfect Golden boys...but that he''s the one that snagged me. He''s so funny!

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/27/2006 12:26:35 AM
Author: monarch64
Wow, can we nickname this thread ''the tall thread''?! LOL! Tawn, this has just got to make you feel better! Thank goodness for PS sometimes, it really can be a great support group for situations like yours. Even for me, and I''m not currently going through what you are, it has been nice to see other women come forth and relate their trials and tribulations on what it''s really like to be one of those women who stands out in a crowd and commands people''s attention. It can be a tough thing, but on the other hand, is such a blessing at times. I mean, we never really go unnoticed, we don''t have to get our pants and skirts hemmed after every shopping trip, and we can reach things on the top shelves, lol!

I was sorry to see Ayla on American Idol go this year so early...she was the embodiment of a tall, attractive woman and was so poised and talented. I honestly thought a few times that some voters probably thought she was a snoot due to her looks, stature, talent, and status as a politician''s daughter, unfortunately. Like Simon said, she was used to being good at everything in life, though, and she will go on to many more successes. Ok, off of my soapbox, sorry y''all!

Hmmmm...maybe there is a correlaton between being tall and loving sparkly things?

I''ve never had to have anything hemmed in my life! My MIL is an even 6'' tall, so I think that''s why my husband isn''t intimidated by tall women!

 

[butterfly 17]

I can actually sort of relate to this as the same thing happens to me when I go pick up my daughter from kindergarten.
There are all the mothers sitting or standing and talking really loud waiting for their kids to come out and I am usually standing by myself not talking to anyone. There is only one mother that I sort of talk to, but her son joined the afterschool program, so there goes that.
The crazy thing is that this happens to be the mother of the boy my daughter punch in the back the second week of school and she happens to be a police officer, and her husband too, so it''s kind of ironic that we speak alot.

Another funny thing is I think it is more of a racial thing than anything else. I have a strange feeling that because I am asian, they assume that I don''t speak any English. I am only assuming this of course, but I notice that once or twice when I have actually spoken to one of them, they have spoken in really loud voices and very slowly, as if I don''t or won''t understand.

I figure i am partly to blame as well as I am not a talker around people I don''t know, and unfortunately, I won''t get to know them unless I talk, so there''s really no hope for me.

 

[LizzieC]

Date: 5/26/2006 11:31:06 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 5/26/2006 10:38:43 PM
Author: LizzieC

Date: 5/26/2006 11:48:28 AM
Author: monarch64
My favorite comment is: ''OMG, you''re SO tall? How tall are you?'' I have never in my life looked at someone and said ''OMG, you''re SO short! How short ARE you???'' People honestly have no idea sometimes how rude they come across. As if I didn''t realize I was taller than many people. Hmmph.

Hee hee... I get asked that question on an almost daily basis!

I don''t mind... I like being short!

LOL, LizzieC! I''m so glad you shared that perspective. I have always wondered if ''short'' people were asked this question just the same as ''tall'' people! Being on the opposite side of the spectrum as you, I''ve always found it kind of offensive when people seem so shocked at my height. (Although I''m 5''10'', I love to wear 2-3 inch heels, so I get questions all the time on ''how tall are you really?'') I guess we''re kind of in the same boat, and although I''ve completely accepted and embraced my height, maybe I should have a more positive outlook on what sometimes is just simply curiosity on someone''s part. THANK YOU for your perspective. I feel I handle most of the comments gracefully, but sometimes I just get tired of hearing it. I grew up in a small town in southern IN where tall females were expected to play basketball. I was never the athletic type, and preferred playing piano and books to athleticism...the comment I always got there was ''how tall are you? Do you play basketball?'' It was neverending, and I got tired of explaining myself. I guess I thought of it back then that it was such an assumption, and I related it then to asking a woman when she was due if she had a bit of a belly. It''s nice to hear that someone who is smaller in stature goes through the same thing, but actually takes it as a compliment--that''s so cool!

Aww, monarch you''re welcome! This is definitely an interesting thread to read coming from my "perspective" as well. I have to admit I''m somewhat fascinated by tall women (& men) because it''s so different imagining the world from that vantage point! Sometimes when FI and I are walking up stairs or something, I''ll go up a couple of steps and say "what if I was this tall? what would that be like? can you imagine?"... he thinks I''m loony!

 

[monarch64]

I''d never had anything hemmed in my life, either! Not even my wedding gown, lol! I had my mother take it in the night before my wedding because I had lost 7 pounds that week, but other than that it happened to fit perfectly (ok, I did have to use some padding in the bust because I wasn''t blessed with more than a C cup in that area, hee hee.)

On the subject of hemming: I did happen to order some chinos from J.Crew this past year and found their tall sizes to be too long for me! They do a 35" inseam for tall sizes for women, and wow, I was amazed! Their regular sizes are about 31-32" inseams--way too short. I am right in between...I have a long-ish torso but don''t have gazelle legs like some tall women.

You may want to check them out for pants/dresses if you are or anyone else reading this is looking for really long inseams.

 

[San Diego Bride]

lizziec, i can totally relate. i''m on the shorter side (5''2") and FI is about a foot taller. i''m always amazed at little things... like the fact that he can actually see the top of the refrigerator! can you imagine? i don''t want to know what''s up there.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 5/27/2006 1:25:14 AM
Author: novia

lizziec, i can totally relate. i''m on the shorter side (5''2'') and FI is about a foot taller. i''m always amazed at little things... like the fact that he can actually see the top of the refrigerator! can you imagine? i don''t want to know what''s up there.

Novia, it seems that there is a whole "clique-iness" going on just like in grade school, with adult women. I don''t know if it''s the same for men, but I''m guessing it is. Anyway, I think you are right about the aspect of different races having something to do with it. Again, it is the assumption of other people that because of your appearance, you are somehow "different" from them, and people have a tendency to fear the unknown. In Tawn''s case, someone suggested that she seek out the friendliest woman of the "pack" and try to at least break the ice or strike up a conversation with her, thus leading into a conversation with the rest of the women. I wonder if this wouldn''t help you, as well? Sometimes as an "outsider" you have to be the one to take initiative, even if it''s not in your nature. It''s always easier (well, to me, anyway) to stay back and observe, but doing so won''t help your kids, or you, as far as socializing. You know the expression "be the bigger person?" I think it really applies here. It''s so much easier said than done, but imo, really does work in life. At least you will know you tried, and you won''t be left wondering.

And no, you DON''T want to know what''s on top of the fridge! Or the ceiling fans, for that matter!

It''s crazy how much dust can accumulate on top of things...lol, I better check the top of my head for dust bunnies now, ha ha!

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/27/2006 12:42:00 AM
Author: butterfly 17
I can actually sort of relate to this as the same thing happens to me when I go pick up my daughter from kindergarten.
There are all the mothers sitting or standing and talking really loud waiting for their kids to come out and I am usually standing by myself not talking to anyone. There is only one mother that I sort of talk to, but her son joined the afterschool program, so there goes that.
The crazy thing is that this happens to be the mother of the boy my daughter punch in the back the second week of school and she happens to be a police officer, and her husband too, so it''s kind of ironic that we speak alot.

Another funny thing is I think it is more of a racial thing than anything else. I have a strange feeling that because I am asian, they assume that I don''t speak any English. I am only assuming this of course, but I notice that once or twice when I have actually spoken to one of them, they have spoken in really loud voices and very slowly, as if I don''t or won''t understand.

I figure i am partly to blame as well as I am not a talker around people I don''t know, and unfortunately, I won''t get to know them unless I talk, so there''s really no hope for me.

It''s hard to feel like the odd man (woman) out isn''t it!?

My husband is so guilty of the loud slow talking to people that don''t actually speak English. When we were in Europe, it was hilarious, and I teased him mercilessly about it...the less they would understand the louder he would speak!

There is no hope for me either...so we''ll be the misfit moms!!

 

[dbgaap]

Regarding long enough jeans- I recently ordered a pair of custom-fit Jeans from Target.
They are really inexpensive.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-1/qid=1148739487/ref=sr_1_1/601-8059682-2224143?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=B00023XKES

You can select low rise, boot-leg , etc etc.

The standard 32 inch inseam is never enough for me either.

 

[TravelingGal]

One of my closest friends is 5''11'''', blonde, pretty AND smart. I find it kind of amusing to see how some people react to her. However, I''ll bet if I were in her shoes, it would get pretty old.

She gets the basketball line all the time too and hates it. We were at an industry tradeshow one time, and a colleague of ours was gawking at another tall blonde. He said "Man, you are tall! Do you play basketball? The blonde coolly looked (down) at him and said nonchalantly, "No. Do you play mini-golf?" My tall blonde friend couldn''t stop laughing...she was so happy to see that someone actually had a good answer for that stupid question!

 

[portoar]

Date: 5/27/2006 10:23:54 AM
Author: dbgaap
Regarding long enough jeans- I recently ordered a pair of custom-fit Jeans from Target.
They are really inexpensive.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-1/qid=1148739487/ref=sr_1_1/601-8059682-2224143?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=B00023XKES

You can select low rise, boot-leg , etc etc.

The standard 32 inch inseam is never enough for me either.

Oh, this is a great tip! I basically have given up on long pants and just go with capris.

 

[tawn]

Seven for All Mankind makes super long ones...up to a 36" inseam! But, they are $$...but they do give ya a cute butt!

 

[Mara]

also AG jeans (and many of the expensive designer brands) have 34" inseams...!

 

[Stone Hunter]

I''d really like tawn and butterfly 17 to come to my school. Then I''d have someone to talk to!

I''m not asian or tall but the women on PTA board are really freezing me out. The first year I was nice the 2nd year I''ve been nice but cranky at home about PTA. I''m just so glad that school is now over.

No I did not volunteer to do anything for PTA for next year. I will help in the classroom tho.

I''m sorry to hear that others are being "closed out." It seems that people just don''t want to admit new people to their group. The fact that you''re tall, or busty, or asian is just an excuse.

I''m mad for you all.

If you run into me at school I''ll be the one who talks to you!

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/28/2006 2:19:23 AM
Author: Stone Hunter
I''d really like tawn and butterfly 17 to come to my school. Then I''d have someone to talk to!

I''m not asian or tall but the women on PTA board are really freezing me out. The first year I was nice the 2nd year I''ve been nice but cranky at home about PTA. I''m just so glad that school is now over.

No I did not volunteer to do anything for PTA for next year. I will help in the classroom tho.

I''m sorry to hear that others are being ''closed out.'' It seems that people just don''t want to admit new people to their group. The fact that you''re tall, or busty, or asian is just an excuse.

I''m mad for you all.

If you run into me at school I''ll be the one who talks to you!

If it was any other place, I wouldn''t be *as* bothered....but those women are cheating Moms out of a rewarding experience, and the schools out of a valuable parent volunteer resource! But, mostly they are cheating the students!

All in the name of snobbery...by excluding the other "different/unique" moms to make themselves feel superior and elite!

Bad "Eddies"!

 

[butterfly 17]

Yes, we could make our own clique, the band of outcast mothers.

Tawn-the statuesque goddess with bodious tatas
Butterfly-17- the non english speaking only as a second language asian goddess with smaller tatas
Stone Hunter- ? Please feel free to add your own description

We can go with our diamonds and knock their socks off with our wayward ways and unscrupilous manners

i even have a name for our group- the Pricescope Biotchs!

 

[AGBF]

I am going to go in another direction with this posting, not because I cannot relate to being snubbed by other women, but because this is my "tall" story.

I was once in a crowded hospital elevator with my (older) boyfriend, who was 6' 6". A tall woman and her male companion (I assume her husband) got in on another floor. My boyfriend blurted out something like, "My God! I've never seen a woman as tall as me!". He was beaming at her. Her husband (who was at least 6 feet tall) and I were also smiling. She volunteered that she was 6'4" and asked him his height. He said, looking at her doubtfully, that he had been 6' 6".

On our way home he kept obsessing about how she could be his height if she were 6' 4" and asking me if I had noticed her shoes!!! I think he was afraid he was shrinking!

Deb...average height

 

[Stone Hunter]

Yes tawn I''m mad because PTA is pushing away people that could offer alot to the school.

Those PTA women are NOT people I want to be friends with.

I join the PS Band of Outcast Mothers

 

[dbgaap]

The only problem I am having with this thread

is that I wear clothes from Eddie Bauer..

hee hee, well Eddie sells tall sizes, what can I say?!

PTA.. yeah, it sucks.... I think PTA''s have had that type of clique-yness since I was a kid. I remember my mom said the same things about the queen bees hogging the "power" in the PTA.

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/28/2006 1:19:16 PM
Author: dbgaap
The only problem I am having with this thread

is that I wear clothes from Eddie Bauer..

hee hee, well Eddie sells tall sizes, what can I say?!

PTA.. yeah, it sucks.... I think PTA''s have had that type of clique-yness since I was a kid. I remember my mom said the same things about the queen bees hogging the ''power'' in the PTA.

Eddie Bauer is great, and I have a lovely long black cashmere coat from there, but nothing else really fits me from there because I have no shape on the bottom! I''m just sort of straight up and down which only makes my top half more obvious unfortunatly!

Those women obviously just order the "Eddie" special uniform and wear it exclusively! Don''t worry about being being an Eddie, they don''t seem to admit anyone over 5''6"!

 

[lizz]

I agree they''re jealous of you, Tawn. You may not want to be friends with them, considering their attitude. But I agree with the others who said you can try to be as nice as possible and let them know you don''t have an attitude. Hopefully, a new kid/mother will join the school that you can relate to, and then you can be friends! You''ll both be the newbies and can relate to each other!

 

[tawn]

Date: 5/29/2006 3:14:35 PM
Author: lizz
I agree they''re jealous of you, Tawn. You may not want to be friends with them, considering their attitude. But I agree with the others who said you can try to be as nice as possible and let them know you don''t have an attitude. Hopefully, a new kid/mother will join the school that you can relate to, and then you can be friends! You''ll both be the newbies and can relate to each other!

We''re not really that new to the area and have been here for 3 years, but we are new to the middle school. There are 2 elementary schools, but only one middle and high school, so the kids merge at the middle school level! The kids seem to get along great, and it''s a wonderful school academically, so that''s really the most important part! But it''s hard when the school seems to be run by the small group of the Mafia Eddies, and I feel unwelcome to participate in my child''s education.

I have great friends here so I''m not really seeking new lunch/diamond store lurker partners or anything (although I am certainly available to new sparkly friends)...I would just like it if they would treat me with simple common courtesy! A simple hello and smile would go a long way at this point! They seriously almost remind me of that movie, "Mean Girls"! I''ll continue being polite and maybe a little bit more pushy about including myself!

When I get the "request" for my PTA donation this year, I think I may write a letter encouraging them to make the atmosphere a little more welcoming for all parents. After all, it''s the middle school, not the country club!!