Are People Too Touchy-Feely These Days?

[chrono]

Please do not touch me at all unless I know you well. It bothers me that waiters or waitresses touch my hand or shoulder, or call me Hon or such pet names. If a friends hugs me, I doubt I have the heart to say no since I understand that some are natural huggers. I would only hug and kiss immediate family members.

 

[missy]

I'm pretty easy regarding this. I tend to want to hug but I have to know someone well enough otherwise a handshake will do. But once I get to know (and generally like) you watch out. I'm a hugging you! But, I also read body cues so if I sense you're not open to it I'm not hugging you and handshake or nod it is. Easy. I can go either way depending on the circumstances and individuals involved.

To answer the question if people are too touchy-feely these days I would say no. In fact, I prefer more human contact to counteract all the violence around us. On TV, in the movies, in real life. Just watch the news or read the paper or heck, just open your eyes depending on where you are and every day there is so much violence. So hug away people and let's hug the violence right out of society. It couldn't hurt.

 

[princesss]

Honestly, I would say we're not touchy-feely enough! I am a hugger, I honestly crave physical contact with people, I love a touch on the arm or the shoulder or a big ol' hug pretty much every day. In college my friends and I would snuggle, and even now that's one of the things I look forward to about visiting them - snuggles! Group cuddles! Hooray!

That said, I do try to suss out whether or not somebody is a hugger *before* I go in for a hug and it doesn't offend me at all if somebody doesn't want to hug/shake hands. I just make a mental note of it and move on. I mean, there are people I don't want to hug, so I definitely understand not immediately rushing into one. But if I had my way, we'd at least kiss on the cheek for hello/goodbye, and our friends would get huge, long hugs.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I agree that married couples should touch a lot - but this thread is about the random lunges! Perhaps I'll take up fencing, and do a feint the next time someone decides to have at me with a hug!

I would LOVE to see this in action!

Just so you know, I voted sometimes. The reason is like you stated, it can be a little too much with complete strangers, but I also don't generally attack people I don't know! Only you, Smith...just wait for the next GTG!!

I can personally vouch for Fancy's hugs- they are the good, happy kind! She's no creeper!

Ha! Thanks, Avia! I'm happy to hear I'm not a creeper!

 

[Niel]

I hate being touched. I also hate emotional stuff but thats another question. haha.

When i was pregnant my FI's sister would not shut up about touching my belly. I told her no, no one was allowed to but my FI and me. She got super creepy about it. Asking constantly, coming up to me with a pouty face and sticking her hand out, at one point she ask if she could hug me and just push her belly up against it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! NO!

Ugh! I love my FI and am happy to be touchy with him. But not in public, because displays of emotion make me uncomfortable. My whole family actually. We used to joke at my sister wedding instead of a kiss at the end they would just shake hands

But other than that, leave me alone!

 

[AGBF]

This has been an interesting thread. Today I had lunch with four other women whose ages ranged from about forty to 80. I know that three of the women were: 80; 73; and 45. I am guessing that the fourth woman was between 37 and 50. She has a 21 year-old daughter, but also has a 10 year-old and had twins (surprise!) a few years ago, I think at 42. I think they are, now, in Little League. (How old do you have to be to be in Little League?)

At any rate, I knew these women to varying degrees. I had met one of them only once before, but she was celebrating an occasion. I had known the other three for many years, but had varying degrees of intimacy with them. I watched as they said good-bye to each other and how did they did it and think I took cues from that. I think that that must be what I usually do. I noticed I mostly responded, rather than initiated except in the case of the woman to whom I am closest. She is 73 and had an operation on her leg for cancer a few months ago. I went to hug her where she sat because I didn't want her to have to get up (although she did so). I see her every week and we often hug. I made no attempt to hug the 80 year-old woman, although I am fond of her, since she did not hug me. I think I had a sense that she might prefer to have her space to herself. The younger women were huggers and the hugs were mutual.

I don't have a major point here. I am just paying more attention to the social interaction as it unfolds.

AGBF

 

[Smith1942]

I agree that married couples should touch a lot - but this thread is about the random lunges! Perhaps I'll take up fencing, and do a feint the next time someone decides to have at me with a hug!

I would LOVE to see this in action!

Just so you know, I voted sometimes. The reason is like you stated, it can be a little too much with complete strangers, but I also don't generally attack people I don't know! Only you, Smith...just wait for the next GTG!! :o

I'm never going to one of these for fear of all the rabid PS huggers!!

 

[chrono]

The non-huggers need to take up fencing.

 

[Smith1942]

P.S. FancyPants, if we meet at a PS GTG at any point, you're not going to hug me, are you?

I promise to try to contain myself! Bahahahah

oh Smith!!! watch out... cuz I'm coming for ya!!! I'm going to squeeze you till you pop and all your DBTY's end up around my neck instead!!!

See - it's cupboard love! I knew it!

 

[Enerchi]

You are too funny!!! I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get my hands on the jewels from the Smith Vault!! If it means a hug till you pop --- I'm on it!!

 

[Smith1942]

Hug-A-Holic here!!!
In the last ten days or so I've hugged 4 Psers, one PSers DH, both of my sons who don't want to be hugged, several of the ladies from the rescue group I held a fundraiser for yesterday.
No-one seemed dodgy at my advances except my 21 yr old. I hug him just to annoy him We are a very physical bunch.
Chicagoans in general are friendly, touchy, feely I think. My friends and I always hug hello. Maybe it's because we are freezing our a$$ off most of the year There's nothing like a hug to warm you up, come to momma Smith

ROFL!

Woofmama, I found a picture of you:

 

[Enerchi]

I think that's the official PS GTG Greeter!!!

 

[Smith1942]

I'm SO having a bunch of nightmares tonight!

 

[minousbijoux]

This is TOO funny! My son is afraid of spiders and Smith is deathly afraid of hugs! I love the image of everybody joining forces for a giant Group Hug with you, Smith!

 

[iLander]

This is TOO funny! My son is afraid of spiders and Smith is deathly afraid of hugs! I love the image of everybody joining forces for a giant Group Hug with you, Smith!

Spider? Did someone say spider? Here's a spider my DD found in our bathroom, Minous.

(for those that have seen my spider picture before, yes, I know you've seen it before. But it was still on my desktop, so I decided to get a little more mileage out of it )

 

[HollyS]

Have you actually told people you're uncomfortable with being touched?

+1

We all have a right to say how we want to be treated, even within families!
Whether or not we touch others should depend on their expectations and comfort level, no ours.
Be sensitive to other's body language.
You can even ask, "Can I hug you?"

Many people are not comfortable with touch.
It's wrong of me to just bulldoze over their feelings because I think ... Touching is healthy and good for everyone.

Personally, I'm probably about middle of the road about touching others.

One touching I despise ... when a waitress sits beside me to take the order, or when she touches me on the shoulder after leaving the bill or calling me Hon.
Money grab.

You REALLY don't want to come to Texas, bro. Now, this is a Southern thing, so I don't know why you would experience a lot of this in CA, but . . . Southern folks don't have ulterior motives. They're just being friendly. So if you stop on by, please relax and enjoy the hospitality.

 

[TravelingGal]

Kind of funny...but as I scrolled down, before I read the posts of each poster, I had a good sense of who were huggers and who weren't (based on their "personalities" here on PS.)

I'm a hugger, but as I have gotten older, I'm much more mindful of who I hug in case they aren't comfortable with it. When I was younger, it was a hug free for all. But everyone I knew hugged. People in my industry hugged. We were all young and carefree and happy and a handshake was just way too cold.

 

[woofmama]

Hug-A-Holic here!!!
In the last ten days or so I've hugged 4 Psers, one PSers DH, both of my sons who don't want to be hugged, several of the ladies from the rescue group I held a fundraiser for yesterday.
No-one seemed dodgy at my advances except my 21 yr old. I hug him just to annoy him We are a very physical bunch.
Chicagoans in general are friendly, touchy, feely I think. My friends and I always hug hello. Maybe it's because we are freezing our a$$ off most of the year There's nothing like a hug to warm you up, come to momma Smith

ROFL!

Woofmama, I found a picture of you:

This thread is very amusing! Glad you started it Smith! So much fun it makes me want to give you a big hug

 

[woofmama]

You are too funny!!! I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get my hands on the jewels from the Smith Vault!! If it means a hug till you pop --- I'm on it!!

LMAO!!! Is that why you kept hugging me? I thought is was cuz you loved me

 

[ericad]

For me it depends. For example, I ride the bus pretty often and it totally skeeves me out when the person sitting next to me invades my seat space (applies to plane travel too) and I have the spend the entire ride with our shoulders pressed together, or feel their leg creep over and touch mine. I recoil and wind up spending 3/4 of the ride sitting on one butt cheek with half of my body extending out into the aisle just to avoid them, which only usually results in them enjoying the extra space.

But when it comes to friends/acquaintances, the rare hug doesn't bother me at all. I'm not one to initiate a hug, but if I see them make a move to hug, I'm fine with the embrace (though I'm not used to it, so I always feel awkward in the moment, even though I truly don't mind.)

We just returned from a trip to Paris, where there was lots of cheek kissing. Kisses to say hello, kisses to say goodbye, kisses to say nice to meet you (which can take a fair bit of time at large family gatherings or holidays, lol). It was a bit much for me, but again, not too big a deal since it's 99% people I know well.

But stranger touching bugs me. Even handshakes. A firm dry shake is tolerable, but you always get those occasional moist handed people, and then I'm so distracted by my overwhelming desire to wipe my moistened-by-association hand on my jeans that I can't focus on the conversation going on around me.

I should just wander around in a giant hamster ball.

 

[chrono]

Ericad,
We are alike! With immediate family, I am extremely warm, huggy, open and all that jazz. I display this publicly with my children but only at home with my spouse. With close friends, I do not initiate hugs but don't mind an occasional hug. I have the most issues with strangers and acquaintances where even a simple handshake or touch skeeves me out. I put up with handshakes with a firm resolve though since it is required at work.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Are virtual hugs OK? Out of bounds??

cheers--Sharon

 

[Smith1942]

Hug-A-Holic here!!!
In the last ten days or so I've hugged 4 Psers, one PSers DH, both of my sons who don't want to be hugged, several of the ladies from the rescue group I held a fundraiser for yesterday.
No-one seemed dodgy at my advances except my 21 yr old. I hug him just to annoy him We are a very physical bunch.
Chicagoans in general are friendly, touchy, feely I think. My friends and I always hug hello. Maybe it's because we are freezing our a$$ off most of the year There's nothing like a hug to warm you up, come to momma Smith

ROFL!

Woofmama, I found a picture of you:

This thread is very amusing! Glad you started it Smith! So much fun it makes me want to give you a big hug

 

[Dancing Fire]

You are too funny!!! I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get my hands on the jewels from the Smith Vault!! If it means a hug till you pop --- I'm on it!!

LMAO!!! Is that why you kept hugging me? I thought is was cuz you loved me

No,b/c you gave her a big dry penis..

 

[Skippy123]

I am the type that gives hugs but not right away. I honestly don't see people touchy feely though. I think more of the opposite.

 

[woofmama]

You are too funny!!! I'm just going to do whatever it takes to get my hands on the jewels from the Smith Vault!! If it means a hug till you pop --- I'm on it!!

LMAO!!! Is that why you kept hugging me? I thought is was cuz you loved me

No,b/c you gave her a big dry penis..

Don't knock it DF! We had a lot of fun putting diamond rings on that baby

 

[Enerchi]

Yes indeed!! A very willing and compliant 'model'.

 

[monarch64]

I am the type that gives hugs but not right away. I honestly don't see people touchy feely though. I think more of the opposite.

I hugged Skippy after dinner and wine with her hubby back in 2008! Skippy, I think you were a bit taken aback, but you'd had a weird commute, something about missing a train. Anyway, WE HUGGED. And it was fabulous. I love Skippy, but definitely don't give her a hug right off the bat, wait til she's had a glass of wine.

 

[pinkjewel]

OK- I'm making my list for "huggers" and "non huggers" before the GTG!!! I am not traditionally a hugger, but I've never been really freaked out if someone hugs me,either. Soooo- anyone that wants to hug me at the upcoming GTG- bring it on!!!

Growing up, my family were not big huggers- I often wonder if that's because my Dad was raised in Britain and I always heard they're more reserved- true or not- I don't know. When I married my husband his grown children were a little put off that I didn't hug them all the time and thought I didn't like them- until they finally figured out I just wasn't a big hugger like they were. It's just a matter of getting used to other people's expectations on hugging, I guess.

The only person I really hug and kiss on, though, is my hubby!!!

 

[Laila619]

I'd actually prefer a hug over shaking hands. Handshakes are so germy!