Are you a planner or do you enjoy being spontaneous?

[missy]

Do you like to plan things in advance and on a regular basis or do you prefer winging it and just being spontaneous?

 

[missy]

Generally, I like planning things in advance. I like organizing the details, researching the options and enjoying the fruits of my labor so to speak. I prefer minimizing surprises and mistakes and like knowing what to expect.

I do think a balance is needed because one can get too caught up in the planning and anticipating all that could go wrong and forget to enjoy the journey. But keeping that in mind I am definitely more of a planner though I try to go with the flow when things are out of my control.

The pandemic is a good reminder of things being out of one's control despite all the planning.

One lesson I am (re)learning from the pandemic is living in the moment is all we truly have guaranteed. So enjoy each moment and cherish our loved ones knowing it can all change quickly and without warning. Having said that also keeping an eye on the future without dwelling on it since we can only do so much.

So for this planner, the pandemic has been sobering and definitely I have learned to loosen my grip on the planning and just live in the moment. Always a work in progress for me but yes, at the moment, I am being successful in my endeavor to enjoy and live in this moment.

How about you? Are you a planner? Or more spontaneous? And have you changed due to the pandemic in any way regarding this topic?

 

[dk168]

For someone who has booked all her monthly hair appointments up to February 2022, I believe I am in the plan in advance category!

I like to plan ahead, as it means looking towards the future.

Also, I often do things on my own, and planning would involve some sort of risk assessment and due diligence to be performed.

For example, some places are probably not advisable for lone female travellers, so I may join an organised tour instead.

One of my specialities at work is risk management, and IMHO, planning reduces unknowns and therefore risks.

Planning well ahead has its downsides, so I have to be flexible in case my plans have to be changed due to circumstances beyond my control, C19 is a very good example.

Always have a Plan B even if Plan B means doing nothing atypical. This way, I minimise my disappointment if something does not go as planned.

The latest example is to go camping in my campervan during the festive period.

There is now a significant risk that it may not be possible due to my van not being converted in time, and the possibility of the second lockdown being extended beyond 4 weeks with overnight stay away from home being banned.

That's NBD as I can always stay at home and cook up a storm in my full size kitchen than in my van with a 12L mini oven and 2 hobs!

The cat will be pleased as she won't need to stay in a cattery when I go camping with the dog, etc. etc...

I shall pay more to get fully refundable travel products and services. I learnt that the hard way a couple of years ago with a non-refundable hotel room when a trip was cancelled.

DK

 

[winnietucker]

I can be both. For things I deem important, I’ll obsessively plan them out. Like my life. I’ve gotten better about letting things be because I’d get very frustrated when life didn’t go according to plan. However, when I was younger I had deadlines for everything. I’ll graduate college at X years old. We’ll buy a house at Y years old. We’re having kids by Z years old. Some things are still unwavering (like the deadline to have kids) but now my goals are a little more flexible.

For things I don’t really think matter, I’ll be spontaneous. We do our road trips this way. A lot of my jewelry purchases and sales are spontaneous. It’s also how I ended up with 17 chickens (they matter, but I know I could add a lot more before it became problematic).

 

[stracci2000]

I always have a plan.
I don't like surprises.
The older I get, the worse it is for me!
I don't like change, at all.

 

[redwood66]

I plan everything. But I can adapt to unforeseen circumstances as well so that is a bonus. I don't mind getting lost and having to find my way around, until it gets dark that is.

 

[MeowMeow]

Both? I have to generally be a planner because I am a housewife and mother with no car. If I didn't plan ahead and be organized nothing would ever happen in my house and we would starve lol. Nobody would ever be on time to doctor appts or anything. But I enjoy just randomly going out places just because sometimes too.( Hello random jewellery store visits!) Well pre-COVID anyway. Now everything in my house is even more calculated than it was before lol.

 

[AprilBaby]

Totally spontaneous! The thought of planning rattles my brain!

 

[dk168]

I like to do things to surprise people that I care about, however, they were not always appreciated.

For example, with an ex-gentleman friend, I would give him a portion of my freshly cooked bulk food, to be informed it would mess up his meal plan!

DK

 

[Arcadian]

I have to more often than not force myself to just go with the flow. I'm a huge planner. So while situations might demand fluidity, I am also planning within those fluid moments, just means I gotta look ahead a little faster than I normally would.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I plan the big picture, but I allow spontaneity/flexibility to take over depending on everybody’s mood.

For eg, last weekend I planned to drive down with dh and daughter to visit my son in San Diego. I planned that we would have lunch, take him grocery shopping and take him to get his hair cut. I didn’t plan where we would go for lunch, where we would go shopping, or whether he would agree to a haircut. We just played it by ear once we got there, and asked him where he wanted to go.

 

[chrono]

I’m a planner. My job involves planning and I hate flying by the seat of my pants because it’s inefficient and errors can be costly both monetarily and non monetarily.

I include backups and emergencies in my planning. I add buffers and fails saves. On the rare occasion when I don’t plan, the schedule is 100% open, there’s no purpose and I refuse to be rushed.

 

[diamondringlover]

I plan 99.9% of the time and get annoyed if my plan gets off track...I need to work on that lol

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I’m an obsessive planner for sure, especially things/events that are high value or matter to me on a sentimental level. I love organising and lists and spreadsheets, lol.

I do however also like surprises if they’re planned keeping me/my tastes in mind, and they aren’t too expensive. A spontaneous picnic in the park is totally my jam. A surprise trip to Paris will end with my anxiety having anxiety attacks.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I am a teacher, by nature I am a planner. However, when it comes to social events, I need my TIME blocked out, but not necessarily the activity. I need to know that we're "hanging out" on Sunday from about 12-4, but not necessarily where we are going. That kind of thing I can "go with the flow".

 

[asscherisme]

Total planner here.

 

[pearlsngems]

Planner 90%, spontaneous 10%.

 

[caf]

Lawyer - total planner. But able to bob and weave with the unexpected/uncontrollable. I really don’t like surprises. Never have.

 

[missy]

I'm running late for something and will be back to reply to everyone tomorrow but I just mentioned to my DH about this thread. And he said that I'm spontaneous as long as I have advance notice haha.

Lawyer - total planner. But able to bob and weave with the unexpected/uncontrollable. I really don’t like surprises. Never have.

@caf My DH is an attorney too and he is definitely more spontaneous than a planner. Basically he is the opposite of me.
I'm with you. I hate surprises too.

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

I fly by the seat of my pants.
Don’t ever make any plans unless we absolutely have to.
(My work is all about time and scheduling - right down to the minute and how many faces I can do in that time - so the second I can forget about time I do).
Life has delt me some pretty crappy hands.... so I know I can’t control it and once I learnt to step back and take it as it comes it has led me on a whirlwind tour of life.
I meet a lot of people who are frustrated because they have tried to force life/the universe. Planned everything, get a good job, save money, buy a house, get engaged, get married, have baby... etc etc
When it didn’t work out.... the marriage, the house, the baby..... they take a huge hit and find it very hard to recover. Life doesn’t care for your *plans*.
Not only that but your plans may well get in the way of *life*.
The mortgage that stopped you taking that amazing job opportunity overseas.... that career that stopped you forming a family... etc

I’m dutifully aware that if you don’t make an attempt at planning then things can go very badly and you could end up broke and homeless so obviously I still have to plan for my daughters education and things that matter to others around me as I’m not completely selfish and realise I need to make sure my seemingly *wreckless abandonment of structure* doesn’t effect others detrimentally.
I think it makes a huge difference that my dad died when I was young as I realise I may only have until tomorrow.
We will plan a holiday up to six months in advance - or we will just save the cash and decide to leave in three days and surprise everyone..... you never know with us.
I have tried planning ..... we *planned* to move to Portugal in three years last year..... then COVID hit ... so yup there goes that plan!
I told you it never works!

 

[inne]

I like to plan ahead. My husband likes to, for example, watch a few videos about how to ford rivers an hour before flying Iceland to drive around the Highlands for a week or look up how exactly 4WD works while physically on the White Rim Trail. I like my way much better.

 

[voce]

It's interesting to me how many people will identify as only one. To me, this is a false dichotomy. I find it hard to believe that someone is trying to plan for everything all the time, or vice versa, that a person is completely spontaneous, particularly when it comes to work and external deadlines.

I'm a person who would identify as a planner at work and as spontaneous as I can get in my personal or fun time. I value recreational time, and my personal experience is that if I do not plan out my tasks at work, work can run overtime and affect the quantity and quality of my personal life.

In my fun time, I am the most spontaneous introvert that I know. (That's saying a lot, since I've literally gotten to know over a hundred people over 15 years of playing World of Warcraft.) In every one of my relationships, my partner has said that I'm the more spontaneous one.

When it comes to big life cycle goals (whether or not to go to grad school, have kids, and plan for retirement), however, I believe that not planning for it most likely results in huge unpleasant surprises. No matter how spontaneous I am when having fun, I shouldn't be just trying to "wing" the responsibilities today that can create huge problems in the future.

 

[nala]

I love to plan!!! Bc it gives me something to look forward to! That said, I’m also very spontaneous! I’m not afraid to dive in just bc I didn’t plan. So I didn’t answer your poll bc I am both!

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

Doesn’t *planning* set you up for disappointment or failure when things don’t *got to plan*?

 

[missy]

Doesn’t *planning* set you up for disappointment or failure when things don’t *got to plan*?

That’s a wonderful question. Personally when I plan I know I will have to adapt as things unfold. Plans rarely go exactly as planned. But when they don’t I adapt and change the plans and so far it’s always worked out well.

One example.
I planned on never marrying. But Greg came along and changed my mind. It took me 5 years to change my mind but I realized I’d be crazy to lose the love of my life. So I adapted and changed the plan.

In life things often don’t go to plan. It’s being able to adapt those plans that makes one successful in planning. IMO.

 

[voce]

Doesn’t *planning* set you up for disappointment or failure when things don’t *got to plan*?

Not really, because as @dk168 explained, when you plan, you can already take into consideration when things don't go to plan, and that way you'd be facing the disappointment well prepared for it, instead of having something come up as an unplanned surprise that ends up disappointing.

I think flexibility/adaptability is a completely different and independent trait from spontaneity. Spontaneous people can be disappointed and hurt and can hate to change habits. Some people plan in a way that doesn't allow for change and disappointment, and some people can plan in a way to temper their own expectations and to flexibly adjust.

 

[chrono]

Doesn’t *planning* set you up for disappointment or failure when things don’t *got to plan*?

That’s why it needs several things:
1. It must be realistic. Don’t set the bar too high.
2.It must be things you can control.
3. Have a back up or emergency for when things go awry, and it will. I’m ok with that. But at least I made an honest effort. That’s what matters most to me.
4. Some things don’t need to be micro-managed. It’s ok to delegate certain things in life.

I agree with @voce that flexibility and adaptability are different from spontaneity.One can plan and still remain flexible.

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

That’s a wonderful question. Personally when I plan I know I will have to adapt as things unfold. Plans rarely go exactly as planned. But when they don’t I adapt and change the plans and so far it’s always worked out well.

One example.
I planned on never marrying. But Greg came along and changed my mind. It took me 5 years to change my mind but I realized I’d be crazy to lose the love of my life. So I adapted and changed the plan.

In life things often don’t go to plan. It’s being able to adapt those plans that makes one successful in planning. IMO.

This is interesting.
I would see something like that as the reasoning to not bother making plans.... but with that said and after a bit of thought I did make *plans* without realising that’s what I was really doing.
Around 17-18 I decided that 28 would be a good age to have a child.
In the back of my mind it was always 1 child at 28.
As 28 was getting nearer and we were ahi by fun traveling the world I decided 30 was looking better (but as I was now 27 the universe said ... nooooooo this was the deal!) so I found myself taking a pregnancy test in Portugal when I just couldn’t shake the jet lag and sickness from all the round the world flights...... yeah not air travel sickness. Definitely morning sickness.
I celebrated my 28th birthday there in Portugal and came home to find out I was already past my first trimester!

Apparently that plan I made with the universe was set in stone and there was no going back last minute!

 

[lilmosun]

Big "no". Mostly because the act of planning or having to adhere to a plan stresses me out . If I have to plan something, I feel too much responsibility for everything to work out perfectly (my TypeA personality). I don't need spontaneity/surprises but do like having flexibility to decide some things as we go.

So while I know how to plan and do a lot of planning for work, I don't typically make personal plans other than an agreement to do something on a certain date. If I initiate something it's usually because I got tickets to something. And then my friends know that they will likely not hear from me until that week to finalize any details like when/where to meet. They know that if I make plans to do something on a certain date, I am good for it.

A friend in Italy once got me tickets to see Springsteen in Milano. I talked another friend into making the trip with me and she took over planning everything else after she realized I was in no rush to do so. She would ask my opinions and offer choices along the way starting each email with "I know you don't really care but...." (My only ask was that any tours bein the morning with afternoons free). A few days before leaving, she called me stressing about packing only to learn I hadn't started. At one point in the call, she let me know that "This is the least organized trip I've ever been on". My response was to laugh an remark that because of her, it was the most organized trip I'd ever been on

 

[qubitasaurus]

I tried planning stuff and quickly discovered it turned into extensive contingency planning and hyper control over every little thing -- as it was always the thing I had not considered that would catch us out suddenly. Overtime I realized it was more important to realize what didnt need planning --I now find it super effectual to ask 'is it going to cost less than 5 k to fix? If yes then dont plan for it.'. My husband usually doesnt book flights more than 2 weeks in advance (he usually books 7-10 days before hand. Up until this time frame the flight dates change daily. So planning is a waste of time. Same goes with a lot of other choices.), and we used to make about 12 international trips a year. So just trying to plan/re-plan and organize things arround the uncertainty and changes was ruining my life/time. Realizing I didnt have to plan arround stuff was really important for me as I had a chance to actually live the bits of my life as they happened instead of always contingency planning 5 different case studies of how the next month may pan out. Much happier this way. Now I flat out dont plan anything I dont have to.