Are you going to see FI before the wedding?

[lovesparklies]

Do you plan to see (or did you see) your FI before the wedding ceremony? Why did you choose to see or not see him?

I want to take pictures together before the ceremony so we and our wedding party can get straight to the fun at the reception, but FI is more romantic and doesn''t want to see me until I walk down the aisle. I could be convinced either way but the practical side of me says to take pictures beforehand. I figure that it''s still a special moment when we see each other, before the ceremony or not, and if it''s beforehand the photographer can catch our reactions, versus at the church where the photogs can''t be in our faces once the ceremony begins. Our wedding is at 5pm so I wouldn''t see my future husband for over half of our wedding day if we don''t see each other before! Plus I''m a crier so I''d rather get the emotions out in a more private setting. I''m not sure what to do.

 

[cammy85]

We are not seeing each other before the wedding.

I really love the tradition of not seeing each other until the walk down the aisle. Our wedding is at 5:30 pm, so I know how you feel. I''m going to be DYING all day to get to the wedding and see him, but I think for us, it is right. We have 20 minutes of formal pictures after the ceremony, then onto the reception to party! So we don''t have to worry about missing anything.

For me, I think it will let me focus on all the other people around me who will be making this wedding special. My parents, my bridesmaids, and whoever else will be at my house the day of. It will let me enjoy this special time with them, as I get the rest of my life with my FH, as well as the entire reception!

All in all, I know people who have seen each other before and loved it and people who refuse to break with tradition. I think whatever you want to do is right. Some people think that moment before the wedding, where it''s just the two of you and no one else is so special, and takes away the butterflies you could be feeling otherwise at the ceremony itself.

There are fantastic reasons for either decision. I don''t think you could go wrong either way.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

sparlklies, you and i are very much alike. i am a crier and want to get that initial look taken care of in private.....plus, i dont want to miss out on any of the party that i am paying for. why should i be outside taking pictures while everyone else is drinking and having appetizers? i want to be in on that fun, too!

so im taking pix beforehand....it will make for an early day for us since our ceremony is at 10:30am but it will be worth it to me.
FI is on board, too....he doesnt want to ''miss a minute of drinking'' as he would put it!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

im in the same boat too, our ceremony is at 5 and we still havent decided either. i want to do pictures before and i know he wants to see me first when im walking down the aisle lol

 

[anniee19]

We are also having a 5 pm ceremony and our photograher recommended seeing eachother beforehand for pictures, and he promised the moment would not be any less special. I really want to see FI before the wedding but he is very, very into tradtion and beleives in the whole "bad luck" thing to see eachtother before. I would prefer to see him though, because I know I will be emotional and nervous and I think I would be much more calm, having already that the big moment in private.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

We are going to see each other before the ceremony for two reasons:

1) I want to have that moment be just between us (well, and the photographers there to capture our expressions). I feel like when I am walking down the aisle I am going to be so taken with everyone else who is there and thinking a lot about my father by my side and seeing my girls and the guys all standing up for us - it''s going to be emotional for so many reasons. I find the idea of stealing a bit of time together before the ceremony incredibly romantic and personal.

2) We are getting married in late October which means daylight will be sparse very quickly. If we want to get some outdoor photos in, we''d be smart to do them before the ceremony.

 

[cammy85]

It does seem like the more common trend now is to see each other beforehand. I feel like I''m so old-fashioned now!

 

[AprilD]

Although we are not officially engaged yet, this is something we have discussed time and time again when talking about "the day"

I want to see each other before because I feel like Im going to be an emotionally wreck!!!! LIke not cute crying either....(lol)

However, he will have nothing to do with it. He wont break tradition in that way.

Still havent come to a solid conclusion, I guess we wont have to until were actually planning the day.

 

[musey]

I did. I spent a little bit of time hemming and hawing about it, but in the end I don't think our having seen each other before hand had any effect on that moment when we saw each other before I walked down the aisle. I still got butterflies, and a big, stupid grin across my face when I saw him--and so did he

What's nice about seeing each other beforehand is that it gave us LOTS of time for romantic shots with just the two of us, without having to miss the party (we took 15 minutes of pics after the ceremony too, and I just felt so cheated out of time with our guests--even with only 15 minutes!). We have 'first look' pictures that are just so touching and priceless to me. I wouldn't give those up for any element of traditionalism!


P.S. In the end, just pick what you want and go with it. There are MUCH bigger things to worry about in regards to your wedding day--don't let this be more than a snap decision!

 

[sparkly_stars]

Our ceremony is at 6pm (I wanted the winter dark skies for the ceremony so we can have nothing candles/white lights)- that being said...its way too long to not see him on what is going to be one of our best days together. Also, I''d love to have day pictures with lots of light (hoping its not cloudy haha)- so...we''ll take our pics in the day, before the wedding and stage some kind of intimate "viewing"

 

[musey]

Date: 11/20/2008 4:45:06 PM
Author: sparkly_stars
I''d love to have day pictures with lots of light (hoping its not cloudy haha)

Cloudy is the best lighting for photography

our photographer kept gushing about how perfect the lighting was (it was drizzling during all of our pictures--not great for the hair, but great for the pics!). Every color popped, and it''s incredibly flattering light because it''s so diffuse.

 

[mintve]

nope, we want the big reveal to be at the church for the ceremony, I can''t wait for that!!

 

[04diamond<3]

Nope, went want to save some time too, cause right after the ceremony is the reception which is across town, but we''re doing to pics before the wedding seperately. He''s getting his pics done at 9am and mine are at 10am and the wedding is at 11am.....major crunch time, but I want to get a picture of his reaction

so yeah, that would be a "NO"......I''M SO FREAKING EXCITED.....sorry for the out burst!

 

[honey22]

We are not seeing each other before the ceremony. I want to enjoy that time with my BMs and my Mum. I want him to see me when I walk down the isle to marry him. I would feel a bit wierd walking down the isle towards him if I had already seen him.

Also, I want to actually be married in our pictures, it''s almost like faking them. I don''t want to look back on our pics and think, well we weren''t really married then.

 

[bee*]

Nope, I won''t be seeing D until the ceremony. Irish weddings start between 1 and 2 so the morning is spent getting ready.

 

[js_diamond]

We''re going to see each other beforehand for pics. I want to be at my cocktail hr and get most of my shots done before any possible tears and while I am looking the most fresh. Wow, I sound really vain!

 

[jstarfireb]

I really want to see him before the wedding, especially for pictures, but he''s a superstitious kind of guy, so he''ll have nothing of it! I guess it''s just as well, since we won''t really have time to take any pictures before the wedding anyway. It''s a noon wedding, and I''m sure we''re going to need all the time we can to get ready.

 

[lovesparklies]

It''s interesting that when there''s a difference of opinion between a couple it''s usually the guy who wants to wait until the ceremony! Awww, our boys are traditional romantics.

 

[blackpolkadot]

We''re not. Neither of us considered it an option, especially after we set the time for 10:30 in the morning. He is not a morning person, so I wouldn''t be surprised of he didn''t wake up until right before 9:00 (when his pictures start.) Our photographer tried to convince us otherwise, but it is a tradition we want to keep.

 

[Nocturnius]

I posted about this one before.

We didn''t see each other before the wedding. We probably could have benefited photo-wise to it, but we chose not to. We saw each other for the last time at the end of the rehearsal dinner the night before.

For my husband, the most amazing part was the day of. For me, it was that last few moments together before we went our separate ways after the dinner (I was leaving with my parents to our hotel room; he was leaving with his groomsmen to go home). He stopped with me outside the Hard Rock Cafe (where the dinner had been) and while our buddies and families were chatting away each other, he put his arms around my waist and looked at me and said "well... this is the last time I''ll see you before we get married." At first, I gave a little laugh and said, "yeah."

But then I looked up and saw the way he looked at me as he said that, and it made the whole world seem like it had just stopped turning. Just for a second, it was like we were the only people on earth.

The day of was his big moment, I guess. His words about that first sight of me coming down the aisle: "I was totally calm until I saw you. Then my heart just started pounding a million miles a minute and I felt like it was going to burst."

It all depends on the couple. Some people arrange that special meeting before the ceremony and get some beautiful photos. We were glad we went with it the way we did.

 

[galvana]

yes this one really depends on the couple -
we are not seeing eachother before the ceremony

1) i want us to part ways at the rehersal and have that be our last moment together b4 we are married
2) i want him to see me for the first time (as a bride) when when the church doors open

 

[KimberlyH]

We saw each other beforehand, spent an hour or so taking pictures and were glad to be able to spend our entire wedding with our guests. I also wandered around and greeted guests before the ceremony, though, as big entrances are just not my thing.

 

[dcgator]

My fiance and I have decided NOT to see eachother before the wedding. We are actually having an evening wedding (6:30 pm), so that will be REALLY tough to take not seeing him before the wedding, but he is really big on seeing me walk down the aisle for the first time not before the ceremony, and I think it will make it that much more special. I am sure that I will be all kinds of emotional, but I think that''s part of the beauty and romanticism of the wedding.

As for taking pictures, we plan on gettig our indivdual, family, and bridal party shots done seperately before the wedding, so as to minimize the amount that have to be taken during the cocktail reception. However, we will miss a bit to take our shots. But, to catch his face when he sees me walking down the aisle is priceless for him and I.

 

[MaggieB]

My fiance was pretty adamant about it. He''s a photographer so it''s important to him to have the absolute best pictures we can get. We are getting married at 5:30 in December, so we need the light beforehand for the pics. At first I was a little bit hesitant, but the more I thought about it, I am SUCH a private person I think it will work out better for me. Now the moment we first see eachother will just be between us. And I really like the idea of having our last single moments together, being so excited about getting married, really enjoying eachother privately, will be on film. And I''m also happy that this way we can go straight into the party.

 

[musey]

Date: 11/20/2008 5:24:28 PM
Author: honey22
Also, I want to actually be married in our pictures, it's almost like faking them. I don't want to look back on our pics and think, well we weren't really married then.

Huh??

That's working under the presumption that all wedding day shots are "we're married!" shots. They don't have to be. Ours are "this is our wedding day!" shots. We're not pretending to be married in them, we're just having pictures taken on our wedding day. If anything, they're "we're so in love and about to get married" pictures.


With a ceremony set for 6:10pm and sunset at 6:30, I am SO incredibly glad that we took pictures beforehand. The few shots we were able to get afterward were lovely, but the light was so low that they're really a different type of picture than the ones we got before the ceremony.

In the end, it really, really, REALLY does not matter how you do things. You just have to know what holds precedence for you. In our case, it was the quality (and quantity) of pictures we'd later have to choose from, as well as the relaxed and loving (instead of nervous/anticipatory) feel of having those moments together before the ceremony.

 

[Babyblue033]

We''re eloping so not only are we going to see each other before the wedding, we have no guests or family attending so he''ll be helping me into my dress too!

I know, the blasphemy!

I guess we''re just not very traditional, we always had our own ways of making things special and starting our own traditions. I think it''ll be very romantic to share those pre-wedding moments with each other, kind of like holding hands and walking through a gate way into married life

 

[AllieLuv83]

We are seeing each other simply because I really want to have fun with my pictures of P and I and since we are tight on time and the ceremony starts at 6:30 we will get together for pictures from 4:30-6:00 for BM''s, family shots and shots of Hubby to be and I I am all about break traditions I have a Man of Honor for crying out loud!

 

[cutiegirl84]

I am planning on Not seeing him before the ceremony, i think that moment when he sees me walking down the aisle for the first time is what i''m looking forward to most that day. but i am bummed about missing cocktail hour while pictures are being taken. My wedding will be at a church then off to the reception site so i''m wondering if there is anyway to do something in between so we can get the best of both worlds... hmmmm....

 

[palomablancabride]

We''re both old-fashioned so we are waiting. We''re getting married in 29 and chose an afternoon wedding primarily so we could have pictures after we''re married/before the reception/before the sun sets. The wedding is small, though, 70 people so we''re not as worried about not having enough time to visit with people.

 

[Octavia]

I'd like to, but he's a little hesitant. Not because of tradition (in his home country, they don't even have that tradition, he didn't know it existed here until I mentioned it) but because our ceremony is going to be at either 11:30 or noon, and he is so not a morning person. Somehow, I think he will be that day

I'm 100% with Musey -- it's a personal decision and it doesn't really matter how anyone else does it, as long as you do what's right for you. For us, the benefits of doing photos beforehand outweigh the "aisle factor" -- especially since we're not getting married in a church, and it's tough for the bride to sneak up to the aisle at our garden venue without being seen. I'm really looking forward to those few private moments before we get married, and I don't want to miss a minute with our guests (but even so we'll probably do a few additional formals after the ceremony). Plus, I don't want to be stuck in my dressing room, feeling overwhelmed with anticipation, so I definitely need to be doing something before the ceremony!