Are you going to see FI before the wedding?

[pocahontas]

We're not planning to see each other before the ceremony either. However, this may prove to be particularly difficult as we're getting married in the DR. Needless to say we'll be enlisting the help of friends and family to make sure we don't visit the pool and buffet areas at the same time - lol! Also, I'll likely spend the night before in my sister's room, or he may even be assigned a separate room the night before the wedding. No doubt they'll be a few kinks to iron out, but for us it's worth it. In the end I think Musey's right, you and FI have to do what feels right for you guys. Everyone will have different opinions on this issue, but the only one that matters is yours and FI's.

 

[museikchik]

My fiance and I were talking about this the other day. We have the opposite problem. I don''t want him to see me before the wedding. Our ceremony is also at 5:00 pm and I was a little concerned about not having time to take pictures and addressed this with the photographer. Both the photographer and the catering manager agreed we would have plenty of time to take pictures. We are getting married next May (OMG!!). So after my fiance heard that I get to have my way and not see him until the wedding.

 

[Rhea]

I saw him. We spent the night together, like we always do. It didn''t make sense to us to spend the night apart. It was less stressful for us to wake up next to each other, and have a relaxing breakfast together.

 

[Nocturnius]

Just to mention this...

All of the talk of "not enough light" and "I don''t want to spend the cocktail hour taking pictures" etc...

Our ceremony started at 7:00pm [it was SUPPOSED to be 6:00pm, but my husband was LATE] we were officially married at 7:21pm [there is a reason I know that!] and we were in the reception by 7:45 at the latest. And when the end of the reception came around, it was almost pitch black and our venue had no extra lighting... and we still wound up with beautiful pictures. And we wound up with over 1000 beautiful pictures in a three-hour time frame.

A good photographer can work with what they''re given and will work fast so that you don''t waste an entire hour taking formal portraits. Honestly, that seems a little ridiculous anyway.

It is entirely up to each couple individually, but I just wanted to shed some light on the other side - not seeing each other does NOT mean you''ll get stuck with a bunch of badly lit pictures of your wedding day.

 

[basil]

We didn''t see each other before the ceremony...I was ambivalent, but my husband really didn''t want to. Since he cared more he won

In retrospect, I''m not sure. I don''t know if other people notice, but to me, my wonderful hubby looks sooo nervous in some of the ceremony and directly after ceremony pictures. I''m not sure if that was related to the really stressful pre-ceremony events for him (see my post re: losing the rings

). And who knows if anything would have changed if we''d been able to see each other beforehand.

I think it''s funny that a lot of the girls are more practical (get the pictures overwith) and a lot of the guys are more sentimental...

 

[Haven]

We saw each other before the ceremony, but we did so because it is tradition in our religion. We''re Jewish, and in a Jewish wedding the couple meets before the ceremony to sign the ketubah (marriage contract). Our rabbi, bridal party, and parents were there for the ketubah signing, and it was an extremely special moment. In fact, that was when we were actually married, according to our tradition.

I''m REALLY glad we saw each other before the ceremony because I was much more emotional and nervous than I thought I would be. We got to spend a few moments together before the ketubah signing, so we were pretty much alone and had the time to take in the overwhelming emotions that we felt at that time. It was REALLY overwhelming for me to be in my dress and veil and to see my HUSBAND in his suit, and to realize that this was it, our wedding day. Had we not had that time together I think I would have been an even worse wreck during our ceremony.

It really depends on the couple and your own traditions. We couldn''t have a true Jewish wedding ceremony without seeing each other beforehand, and that was very important to us.

In the long run, this is one of those decisions that really means very little in the end, anyway, so I wouldn''t sweat it too much. If you''re leaning toward one choice, go for it.

 

[lovesparklies]

Thank you everyone for your very insightful responses! It''s so interesting to hear what you chose and how you felt about it. I just wanted to come back and report that FI and I have decided to wait until the ceremony to see each other. Sentimentality and tradition won out!

So many of you said that it just depends on the couple and you are right. Like so many wedding-related decisions there are no right or wrong choices. It''s still nice to hear both sides of the story to make an informed decision, though, so thank you!

 

[elrohwen]

My wedding is also at 5pm and I agree that I don''t want to stay separated all day just so he can see my dress. Heck, he''s seen all of the dresses I''ve tried on anyway, so it won''t be a big surprise

We''ll absolutely be taking pictures before the ceremony, hopefully even at one or too nearby locations before going to the wedding. I would be so upset if I had to miss the cocktail hour; I''d miss all the mingling and the string quartet that I really wanted to get (and paid a pretty penny for). Plus, I always find it kind of annoying when the bride and groom run off for an hour after the ceremony ... I want to chat with them and congratulate them!

I think your gut is telling you to do pictures before the ceremony, so go for it!

 

[ang3199]

I did not see DH before the ceremony, although he kept trying to sneak in my dressing room! But the moment the church doors opened and I saw him standing up there waiting for me I was glad I didn''t. That was the most amazing moment of my life. I don''t remember anyone else in the church after that moment. I gave him a little wave while dad and I were walking down the aisle.