Are you ready to die?

[HGar]

I’m not scared of dying. I’m 54 and it’s inevitable. In the last 4yrs I’ve had our adopted Grandfather, my Dad, my Father in Law and my best friend’s Dad pass away.

Legally we have everything in place and I’m very open telling my husband and kids what my rules are.

My two best friends and I have a giggle every time we are together about the mayhem that the remaining of us will create at the first and second of us to go’s funerals. We’ve warned our 5 children that there will be fart jokes, lucky door prizes and a raffle so don’t get in our way.

 

[missy]

I think us old folks hijacked this thread. Sorry Missy!

Ha Ha.. guess I should have used sunscreen when I was a red headed kid growing up in So. Cal. Too late now!
@Missy… we are going to stop this now and get serious. I’m definitely going to see if I can get a digital copy of The Beauty of What Remains.

Girl, I'm old too and hijack away..it's all good.

When I go, I would like to be swift, pain-free and no fuss.

I think that's the way all of us hope to die. In our sleep would be best. You were fortunate your dog went without suffering. In my experience that is rare. I still cry over the way Francesca died. I know we did the best we could and that we couldn't have known her last day would be like that. Our veterinarians were telling us everyone has a bad day and it wasn't time but it was. I still cry daily over Francesca. And while we recently gave our Tommy boy peace I feel huge guilt over that too. Because we just have no way of knowing if its was truly time. While we are more civilized with eiuthanasia with our furry babies it gives me guilt. I don't want to play g-d. But I couldn't let him suffer. The experience with Francesca has forever colored my perception. But, "they" say better a day too early than a minute too late...IDK how do you know it's only a day early? You don't. So for anyone who dies in their sleep or of natural causes painlessly that is a blessing beyond blessings. IMO

 

[missy]

I made a long, detailed "letter of instruction" for spouse and/or kids with all the financial information and guidance about what to do with what, what to do immediately (almost nothing), what to do longer term, who holds our Will, what in the house is of some intrinsic value, which things have sentimental value to spouse and me (family heirlooms -- nothing of value), and even documentation for some capital improvements to our home for when they sell.

I did this over the past year after a close family friend in the neighborhood became terminally ill -- in an attempt to manufacture some (personal) "good" out of this tragedy. I feel much better and more relaxed about my own death (I think) after having done this. My late father was seemingly about 20 minutes into this process when he passed, unexpectedly (to all of us survivors), and it was a struggle to piece his world together post hoc. Our own "estate" has plagued me ever since so it felt really good to put it in writing. (No, no words of wisdom from the grave -- just the facts.) Spouse was super-happy that I did this and I can not get her to read it or even look at it no matter how many times I ask. I'm pretty sure she can bear the thought of my absence; it's just a lot of pages of dense financial reading!

I'm also trying to whip stuff into shape -- selling little-used things in our home, consolidating accounts, selling small financial holdings to get fewer rows on the spreadsheet, etc. Our estate plan is simple and fairly current and the kids are capable and are good friends.

Not "ready to die," per se, but when/if the news comes, I feel I at least have this part of my act more together than average.

Very smart to do and of course we can only do the best we can do.


My dear friend's DH died unexpectedly last spring.
He was in his 50s.
He did not have a will.
His wife (a very smart MD) was not prepared and did not know any of his passwords to their accounts (which he took care of completely).

It was not just a nightmare that he died so young and so unexpectedly but a nightmare for her many many months afterwards to sort of the huge mess so she could start taking over everything he did for them. And also take care of his mom's accounts because he did that too.


Tragedy upon tragedy. First tragedy is he died. Second tragedy he left his wife with such a mess to sort out.
Surprising because she is a very smart woman.
But it happens more than you could think.
It happened to another friend of mine too.
Another very bright woman.

Because no one thinks it can happen (at least at such a young age)
So unpleasant to deal with for sure
But deal with it we must
Or our loved ones pay the deep consequences

And please everyone (I know I am preaching to the choir)
Make arrangements for your furry babies
I beg you
Please
You have no idea how awful it can be if there are no arrangements for their safety and well being when you are gone