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Pushin40

Pushin40

Brilliant_Rock
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Apr 11, 2008
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I feel like I''m starting a midlife crisis.

Half the time I just want to get up and walk right out of work and never come back.

I''m so all set with Corporate America. I''m a generally happy person so for me to be unhappy at work is really BIZARRE. I''m not used to this feeling. I haven''t been happy here for tover a year.

I''ve been looking for the right opportunity, but nothing has panned out. It''s hard to take a chance, and it''s hard to walk away from good money.

I''m thinking of a COMPLETE change....different country, or a different line of work. I don''t know...that''s part of the problem.

Anyone else feeling like it''s time for a change? Time to take responsibility and take risks to get what you REALLY WANT?

Or maybe I''ll just snap out of it.....
 
in regards to my working life.. no, i am not happy. i am well educated, smart and driven.. but i am so sick of the daily grind. i am sick of working my butt off to pay the bills... with the economy the way that it is i find myself merely working to live- to pay for gas, food and student loans... i am depressed because every penny we make goes right to bills.. right now there is just no way that i can begin to pay for a wedding... it is frustrating because i actually make a pretty decent living!

however, i get to leave this job that i dislike and go home to the most amazing man on the planet... i have to really take with the good with the bad i guess and make it through... i am stammering on so i will stop now!! but pushin40.. you are NOT alone! i want to live on an island or in a beach town and not have to worry about all this crap!
 
You know what''s funny?

I had the same problem....

And I just walked out on my nice "cushy" job because I was constantly depressed and disgruntled with my job. I took a chance and while I may be kicking myself in the butt financially right now (thank goodness my SO has been supportive bothe financially and emotionally), I took an hourly job that pays a bit less (not a ton) but it shaved about 30+ hours a week off of my work time.

Now I can go on that weekend trip with the BF, request days off without looking like I have 3 heads, take a couple of days off to move in a few weeks, take the BF''s birthday off, ect.

As for my "real job" I am still looking and it has been about 3 months....I have sent resumes out, applied for numerous postings, still no bites. So for now, although there are bills I can''t pay (and I do cry about it sometimes) in the end I feel more rested, I sleep more (not always a good thing but I am starting to get used to it), and sometimes I do regret leaving (for money reasons) but then I think of all of the stress, anxiety and verbal abuse that my boss used to give me and how I tried to transfer a million times in to a new department and they (including HR) never helped me, I knew that I made the right decision.

So yes, it is ultimately your decision, but I had \flirted with the idea of leaving my job for many months and a week after my year anniversary with the company, I packed up and got out. I must say that cleaning my desk out at 2 a.m. was quite liberating!!!!
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Best of luck to you!
 
I''m in the same boat too. It''s been 2 months now of job searching and while I do have a job on weekends, it is only enough to pay the bills and buy some store brand food. Not to mention that my parents have taken on the burden of paying my student loans until I find a solid job. It''s pretty humiliating but you gotta do what you gotta do. I don''t know how some single mothers do it, I can barely handle supporting myself.
 
I think job happiness ebs and flows.

I had a really great job for a few years. I made a boat load of cash. I met a lot of interesting, nice, funny, talented people. But about 3 years into the job, I burned out.
I worked as the Chicago Director of a cosmetics company which was moderately well known. I made a decent part of my living on commission, meaning sometimes I got paid...and other times I didn''t. When I worked, I made bank...but some people and other companies that hired me out wouldn''t pay or pay late...blah blah blah. I spent maybe 25% of my time fighting to get what I worked for. It burned me up. So, about a year ago I went looking for "other" work. I knew what I wanted to do and what I didn''t...but the job market is tough, and the beauty industry isn''t huge corporate America...so the good jobs are few and far between.

So, long story short...I steped outside of my professional certification and my degree...and went to work with kids. I did this partially because it was the only job I could get, and also because I thought the cause was amazing.

Everyday I worked with kids who needed a safe place to go before and after school. These were great kids, but due to circumstances needed someone to look after them. I felt very rewarded to be the one to do so.

So, here is the message...find something that makes you happy...life is to short to be sad.
 
I have had the desire to just get up and go several times. I would love to live in Chile and work in the Capital for a year. Or work for our offices in Singapore. I''m a mover, my FI is not. He has lived in the same neighborhood (well not since we moved in together
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) since he first came to this country (at 4). I like to bounce around.

I''m still trying to convince him to move back to his hometown (Santiago, Chile). He''s warming up to the idea
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I can''t stand being anywhere for more than 2 or 3 years (though I guess with a family that will change). I am ALWAYS itching to go somewhere. I was actually also trying to convince DH just recently that we should move to Singapore, where there was a good job for me! I love Singapore. The wicked food. Quick boat ride to Sumatra. Close to Malaysia (and jungle trekking!) Safe. Clean. Smart colleagues. I''d have gone in a second. DH was all "Uh, I don''t think so."

I say, whenever there is a (not disastrous) risk to take, take it! You only live once! The aim is to make life as rich and varied as possible.

Do it! Do it! Take the plunge! Find something you love and do it.
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I was a career woman in my 20''s and worked hard with long hours. I burned out (which I find silly considering I was only 30...but it was how I felt) so I quit and bummed around Europe for a few months. Best thing I did...and finding my husband was icing on the cake!
 
I agree that if you can take the opportunity to do something you'd never NORMALLY do...whether it's quit your job, move to another country or even start a new hobby...do it!!

When I was dating my husband we were both in consulting and we were miserable. When we got married, we re-assessed our lives. I got out of the field and into something more creative that I'm loving. D got out of consulting, but stayed in the actuarial field to finish up all of his exams...and after putting all of the effort in, he quit. Nothing lined up, no clue what to do with his life. We could end up moving across the nation and he can work as a park ranger so long as it keeps him out of an office, I don't care. For now he's climbing every day and travelling and loving life.

About a year ago we agreed that we did not want to turn 50 and think that we got trapped by our lucrative careers and stayed in it for 30 years. So now, before we have kids, before we buy a house we are determined to live our lives the way WE want. What's funny is that we thought we'd be giving up a lot financially (which was fine), but after some smart investments we're doing better than we ever did when we were stuck and miserable. By giving up our "security" we exposed ourselves to a much, much happier life. It's TOO EASY to get sucked into a rut, don't let it happen!
 
I worked in scientific research for over 8 years, right from undergrad and slowly and steadily realized it wasn''t for me. The final straw was ending up in a toxic department where people turned to mush... you were treated so poorly by the "Old Timers" that you eventually fell apart. It was not uncommon to find people crying daily after getting in trouble for something meaningless. Several people have become robots that go to work and go home and stare at the walls. No social lives whatsoever. I gained 30lbs in 2 years (and I''m the girl that got teased for being too SKINNY in elementary school), and have had numerous health problems (many I ignored and chalked up to "stress". NOT a good idea to ignore health problems). A huge family health disaster just finished me off. If not for a lay-off a couple of months ago, who knows what condition I''d be in? I was ready to quit, but needed something to pay the bills, so I was trapped until I found something. Now I''m working toward going back to school for an advanced degree, something this rough job prevented me from doing. Don''t let a burn-out ruin you. I was quite a hard-working, energetic, and super-friendly person 8 years ago, and recently found it very hard to concentrate on reading a newspaper article. The time off has helped and I''m determined to make it work! Moral of the story: do what makes you happy before you get into a rut that is difficult to get out of!
 
Right now I hate my job, hate it like, I''m so miserable by the end of the day that I go home and just sit alone because it''s such a toxic environment. I don''t mind the work, but my current boss makes things very unpleasant. The great thing is, I start a new job next week!
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I''ll be doing the same kind of work, which is fine. I''m really excited about it!

Good luck Pushin! Get out and get livin''!
 
I say we all quit our jobs and become nomads… old school stylez
 
Date: 8/12/2008 7:15:49 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
I say we all quit our jobs and become nomads… old school stylez
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LOL....

It makes me feel better about leaving my previous job now...It makes me feel better about the decision I made.

Once again people, if your job is killing you, please get out of it!!!!! (even if means a paycut temporarily....it''s worth it in the long run)
 
Date: 8/12/2008 3:06:28 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
I''m in the same boat too. It''s been 2 months now of job searching and while I do have a job on weekends, it is only enough to pay the bills and buy some store brand food. Not to mention that my parents have taken on the burden of paying my student loans until I find a solid job. It''s pretty humiliating but you gotta do what you gotta do. I don''t know how some single mothers do it, I can barely handle supporting myself.
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You know what? I constantly ask myself that same question....

My mom was a single mother for most of my childhood and man I don''t know how she did it either....I can barely afford myself...I honestly don''t know how the single parents out there do it.....It makes me glad that I just have my kitty and my SO....
 
Date: 8/12/2008 1:19:43 PM
Author:Pushin40
I feel like I''m starting a midlife crisis.


Half the time I just want to get up and walk right out of work and never come back.


I''m so all set with Corporate America. I''m a generally happy person so for me to be unhappy at work is really BIZARRE. I''m not used to this feeling. I haven''t been happy here for tover a year.


I''ve been looking for the right opportunity, but nothing has panned out. It''s hard to take a chance, and it''s hard to walk away from good money.


I''m thinking of a COMPLETE change....different country, or a different line of work. I don''t know...that''s part of the problem.


Anyone else feeling like it''s time for a change? Time to take responsibility and take risks to get what you REALLY WANT?


Or maybe I''ll just snap out of it.....
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My man is having a ''crisis'' just like you. He''s turning 40 in Feb, and since we got into our own small business, it''s been an incredible drain. I mean, getting all ''grown up'' actually does kinda suck in some ways. The responsibilities and financial call on you just get heavier and heavier... body falling apart, teenage children, aging parents, longer work hours, the realisation that your financial aspirations may not be realised... aah, it''s probably more surprising that we don''t ALL have midlife crises!!
anyway, hope it gets more comfortable, after this ''vent thread''!
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Date: 8/12/2008 1:19:43 PM
Author:Pushin40
I feel like I''m starting a midlife crisis.


Half the time I just want to get up and walk right out of work and never come back.


I''m so all set with Corporate America. I''m a generally happy person so for me to be unhappy at work is really BIZARRE. I''m not used to this feeling. I haven''t been happy here for tover a year.


I''ve been looking for the right opportunity, but nothing has panned out. It''s hard to take a chance, and it''s hard to walk away from good money.


I''m thinking of a COMPLETE change....different country, or a different line of work. I don''t know...that''s part of the problem.


Anyone else feeling like it''s time for a change? Time to take responsibility and take risks to get what you REALLY WANT?


Or maybe I''ll just snap out of it.....
Click to expand...
Oh honey, I know EXACTLY how you feel. For me, my life up until I decided to go overseas to grad school and give my international relationship a real shot felt just the same. I was so impatient to get OUT and to do something really new and challenging that I felt like crawling out of my skin until I started to make steps towards going away for school. Now that I''m here (been here a year, will be here at least one more year), the feeling is subdued. Sometimes I even miss my relatively boring life back home. Maybe you always want what you can''t have?
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No, seriously, I don''t know. I know, for me, I wouldn''t have done things differently. I wanted a master''s degree, I wanted to get it in one year as opposed to two, I wanted to live abroad, and I wanted to give J and I a serious chance. At other times in my life, I''ve thought about joining the Peace Corps (or similar), or getting a job on a cruise ship or for an airline, or teaching English in China. Maybe one of these sorts of things could be just what you need to sate this feeling you have!

Whatever you decide to do, don''t listen to the people who tell you that you''re crazy. As long as you''ve got a way to pay your bills, I say DO IT! The nay-sayers are the ones who end up being full of shock, awe and maybe a twinge of envy once you actually head out to follow your dreams--at least, that''s how it was in my case.
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Ok, so I'm gonna chime in because I have been there!! About 3 years ago I was in such a terrible position professionally I actually quit my job one day after crying my eyes out over the job on my lunch break. I called my DBF and said - I HAVE TO do dosomething, I can't live like this anymore. I had LOST almost 30 lbs (I'm 5'11 and then weiged in @ 120lbs) due to stress and was a snarky, ruthless, miserable wench that had it out for everyone; that was not who I was or am now!!

Needless to say, I am a single mom of a 10 year old amazing little boy. I decided from that day on my lunch hour to quit my job and GO BACK TO SCHOOL!! I took the $40k per year pay cut and ran with it.(You would think something so detrimental would kill someone - not me!!) I took a full-time job answering phones for $12/hr. I am STILL currently attending school full-time and working full-time and of course a mom. Yea, its a BIG load and I never sleep, but I am HAPPY!!
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I am no longer miserable and I am working towards a future that will allow me to make decent $ and be happy. I do have my DBF (yes, still the same guy) to thank though. He has been working like a mule to allow me to do this. I owe everything to him!
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So, my long some-what boring story is over, but moral of the story: what ever doesn't kill ya, makes you stronger. Do what makes you happy.
 
sadly, i hate my job... well, my jobs. i have three of them. they all stink. why do you think i''m on PS so much??
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This thread is just what I needed. Last night I came home and cried for almost an hour over my job. My boss makes things absolutely miserable and I''ve been unhappy there since January (there for 2 years total ... the first year and a half weren''t as bad). Part of it is that I''ve been travelling 70% of the time, which is so so rough and draining (they told me 40% travel when they hired me). And the other part is that my boss is a jerk who is constantly criticizing and talking down to me.

I''m trying to get a job at my FI''s company because I think it''s a better field for me to go into and I like the corporate culture much better. My company just expects everybody to be happy happy perky perky all the time. That''s just not me! I like to be sarcastic sometimes and I''m realistic about things (I am an engineer ... I don''t think this is uncommon in engineers). I''ve noticed that some of the people I really get along with and like working with at my company are the other people who get bad reviews and hate their jobs. Hrm. I just look for different things in people I work with than my company does I guess. I need to go somewhere that appreciates my style of doing things. So yeah, I''ve been trying to get out since February ... my FI''s company is in a hiring freeze, but I have someone there who seems to want to offer me a job as soon as he can. I just wish things would go faster! And I am applying other places, but without much luck.

It''s so great to read about other''s experiences and remember that I''m not alone and lots of people go through this. And, most importantly, that it ends! There''s a light at the end of the tunnel and a day will come when I have a new job and I don''t have to be miserable anymore.
 
Thanks for all the replies eveyone. It helps to know I''m not alone.

After 17 years, I am officially burnt out.

I get regular headaches, at least 3 per week, and occasional migraines. I don''t sleep well anymore, and it''s killing me. I have a headache right now that is going on 30 hours straight and even the Aleve isn''t working (and that always does). Gotta love it when you go to bed and wake up the next AM with the same headache. This is becoming all too common.

I know I am a B%tch, more than not. Thats not the real me. My sense of humor is gone. I have no patience.

I''ve been doing a lot of soul searching and its time to make a move. I''m OK with a paycut, and my BF is supportive. I just need to do soemthing that is fulfilling, something I can be passionate about.

I do admit I''m afraid to walk away.....if I hold on for another 4 years I can "retire" which means I can have access to all of my unvested stock options. That''s a tough bullet to swallow. Not to mention all of my other benefits. Ouch.

It''s not my style to make a move without a plan. so I guess I need to start that - the plan. I had a suggestion from a friend that I should look into opportunities for non-profit companies. The culture is entirely different.

To those of you had the courage to walk away from a toxic environment - I admire you!

Thanks ladies for letting me VENT!
 
I''ve been having a quarter-life crisis since I was about 20. So basically, I''m perpetually in a quarter-life crisis (24 now).

Sometimes I make peace with where I''m at. Other times I feel like I MUST change something ASAP and I start researching potential plans of action (and then generally don''t follow through). I was feeling that way last month but anything I do at this point would entail a paycut and unfortunately we''re not in a position where we can afford that.

So instead, I''ve been focusing on furthering my education through work. Even though I don''t love the job/environment, it''s a huge perk that they pay for my schooling so I''m taking full advantage of that. It helps keep me busy, too. Also focusing on my goals in the gym and doing lots of reading. Basically aiming to keep busy while improving myself. It works better some days than others, though. I''m in a decent mood today (not sure why) so I''m ok with it. Ask me tomorrow and I might feel differently
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Hey Pushin,

Ugh, it sounds like you are very miserable--the fact that you are only 4 years away from your unvested stock options is tough. Four years might not sound so bad, but 4 years of misery? It would feel like a LIFETIME!

I completely understand needing a plan...when it comes to jobs (expecially in this economy), having a plan is always good. Even if that plan is "I''m going to live off of savings for xx months or xx years and start looking for another job at xx date". I usually have an A, B and C plan, haha.

I have several friends who have recently gotten out of stressful jobs/careers (including husband). The thing is that once they get out, they have no idea how they stuck with it so long and say they will NEVER go back. You don''t want to be stuck simply because your job pays well.

Pushin'' is it your job that you hate? Your company? Your boss? A combination? I know you mentioned corporate america, which I completely understand. Is working in another area of your company an option at all?
 
I feel burn-out too. I am not sure if it is from the research work (that does not seem go go towards the result I want) or the mess in our new house. It was easier when I had a smaller and organized place where I knew were everything was. After a day of work I just need to "get away", but to to boxes of unpacked items in my living/family room!

Well, I guess everything takes time to get used to.....
 
Am I really happy?? Hmmmmm.......

Personally, yes. Although it seems like we just moved into our (rented) house (last Oct) and it already feels like we should be starting the search for "our" house. With all the packing and crap that involves. And if you think that seems tiring when you''re 30, try being 49 and 53. I just plain feel like having a nap.
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The job is aggravating; men make more money in dealerships. And they know squat, really. Having to ''train'' someone making twice my salary, to include showing him how to empty his ''recycle bin'' on the PC . . . well it''s just frickin'' ridiculous. I stay because it is a good salary in this area, and I get a demo to drive, which means no car payment or insurance out of my pocket. I have a 45 min commute each way, but I have a pretty flexible schedule. I haven''t been behind my desk any earlier than 9:30AM all summer, although I do work until 6:30 or 7PM most days. It''s neither a dream job nor a hell hole. But it''s boring the crap out of me, which is why you see me post here and there throughout the day!
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Date: 8/14/2008 5:18:42 PM
Author: HollyS

It''s neither a dream job nor a hell hole. But it''s boring the crap out of me, which is why you see me post here and there throughout the day!
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Could not have said it better myself!!!
 
Ouch-only 4 more years until you can get all your stock options? I might have to hold out. Is there anything you can do to make your job more enjoyable for you until then? I know that sometimes I get sick of my job, but a lot of times it has to do with me and my attitude. I''m not saying that''s the issue with you, but I know that there are things people can change within themselves to make a situation better.

If it''s not an option, it''s not an option-I certainly wouldn''t want to be miserable for 4 more years. But if there''s anything you can change at your job to make it better for you, I would do it and hold out for those stock options! Maybe negotiate for more time off and live for your vacations? Or change positions entirely? Or even just make a major effort to leave work at work and enjoy yourself when you''re off?
 
No I am not happy, not in my personal life nor in my job, life kinda sucks right now
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I hear alot of frustration in this thread. I want to share some thoughts that helped me when I wasn't making much cash and didn't know what I wanted. These are courtesy of a wise old man named Jim Rohn

Success is not something to pursue, it's something we attract by the person we become.

Work harder on yourself than you do your job.

Work full time on your job, and part time on your fortune. (start something you own!)

Formal education can make you a living, but self education (personal growth) can make you a fortune.



ETA: If your job environment makes you cry at night, I emplore you to find another place to spend most of your time. Life's too short....
 
Date: 8/14/2008 7:44:44 PM
Author: diamondrnglover
No I am not happy, not in my personal life nor in my job, life kinda sucks right now
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I''m sorry about that. Anything you want to talk about?
 
I am with the life is too short camp. My husband worked at a small company for almost 13 years, being terribly unhappy about the last 3 years. Not only was management incompetent, but the president of the company was having an affair with one of the managers and this just drove my husband nuts. One night he came home and I saw the same look of stress and misery on his face and I just said quit. I don''t care if we have to sell everything and live in a tent, this has got to change. Well, he did quit and was off of work for almost a year (gasp). He renewed his pilots license and worked on projects around the house and looked 10 years younger in the process. He went back to work in January in a slightly different field and was promoted in 2 months and loves it. Sure we took a big hit financially, but it was well worth it.
 
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