Average budget for ERings

[colorkitty]

I agree with most of this colorkitty except the last line - it isn''t just about savings, it is also about priorities. some people would rather have a boat than a ring

I should have added that. You''re absolutely correct. Just because someone can afford a big rock doesn''t mean they have to or even should.

Our budget is 4K (according to my husband it''s 5K, but no thanks). I have an e-ring but I cracked it and probably will again if I keep wearing it. My priority is a smaller stone that I won''t break! We can easily afford our budget several times over, but I just don''t wanna. My other priority is not having anything that will encourage my MIL to make more comments about my spoiled, gold-digging self! LOL.

 

[grapegravity]

Date: 1/10/2007 6:05:20 PM
Author: colorkitty

Well, according to my knowledge, they were both University students and he basically had no expense since his parents paid for everything.. So he had internship for one year and basically he spent half of that saving to the ER right after they graduate from school..

But you made the statement that 3 to 6 months was average and normal in your area. You used Canadian dollars. Do you live in Canada? Because I was under the impression that engagement rings were much smaller in Canada than the US. Just curious. Maybe I''m wrong about Canada?

I live in Calgary, AB... It''s booming here and all my girlfriends and family members own at least 3/4 ct+ for their ER...
Perhaps I was wrong making a statement like that since I based my statement on the opinions among my little social circle..

Maybe this has something got to do with my cultural background? (Asian)

Because whenever I have this discussion amoung my friends and co-workers and they said that they expect the guy to spend at least 3 months salary on ER... Oh and all of my friends are either doctors, CAs, bankers, or nurses, maybe it has something to do with their occupation?

And even one of my best friend (who is a nurse) think that my bf didn''t spend enough $ on my ring because he only spent "2" months salary on it... I was not happy and basically told her to wait until it''s her turn to receive an ER to make a comment like that to me!

 

[rockbie]

Date: 1/10/2007 6:05:20 PM
Author: colorkitty

Well, according to my knowledge, they were both University students and he basically had no expense since his parents paid for everything.. So he had internship for one year and basically he spent half of that saving to the ER right after they graduate from school..

But you made the statement that 3 to 6 months was average and normal in your area. You used Canadian dollars. Do you live in Canada? Because I was under the impression that engagement rings were much smaller in Canada than the US. Just curious. Maybe I''m wrong about Canada?

Yes, you are right colorkitty engagement rings in Canada are much smaller than the US. My friends from US or anyone I know from US average is 1-2 carats. Here in Canada that is huge.

 

[countingdown]

My budget was 20k and ended up spending 43k.

She is worth every penny. In the end its not the cost that matters its what it symbolizes. My fiance and soon to be wife would of been happy with whatever I got her. This was a nice surprise.

 

[Moosejaw]

Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

 

[blinkydoll]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife's ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

This is BlinkyDoll Fi:

Moosejaw,

Instead of insulting people maybe you should except the fact others work that much harder to get the rings or jewerly that they want. I paid for blinky's gorgeous ring in a year and it was worth every penny..

It was just the ring she wanted no questions. Had we not had a diamond I would have spent what ever to make her happy.. She deserved it for putting up with my bum!

 

[blinkydoll]

I Love him!

hehehe

 

[Moosejaw]

Blinkydoll:

No insult intended.

LIke I said, there are responsible people who can follow a gameplan to get something properly paid off...and I am glad you had one. Alot of people don''t, and I am no picnic at times to my wife, but the ring isn''t what kept or keeps us together.

I am unsure of the male to female ratio on pricescope, but many of the posts I read involving stones/gems/diamonds/settings are in an unattainable stratosphere for most people, and I would hate to think someone who views these posts being disappointed in a material item..or an expectation from their fiance of something the the 5 digit price realm.

Don''t get me wrong, I spent a small bundle on my wifes stuff, and just bought her and my sister new gems...I just want people to understand that the amount spent isn''t worth being in debt, if you are unable to get out...and its not the point of a marriage.

Anyways...take it easy.

-G

 

[Samantha Red]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:39:31 PM
Author: countingdown
My budget was 20k and ended up spending 43k.

She is worth every penny. In the end its not the cost that matters its what it symbolizes. My fiance and soon to be wife would of been happy with whatever I got her. This was a nice surprise.

A nice surprise! You are the master of the understatment countingdown. I have just been looking at pictures on another thread and it is truly wonderful.

 

[Pandora II]

I personally think this x months salary thing is a load of rubbish and a De Beers marketing ploy. You should spend what you as a couple feel is affordable and right for you.

Both FI and I are in our 30''s and have good jobs. However we also have a mortgage on a house in London

.

FI has given me a budget of about $4k - in line with most of our friends.

I know that I''m very fussy, so I am paying the extra to have the ring of my dreams - upgrades are not an option. I am hoping that I can get that for around $6.5k total. I''m not having a diamond and I''m going to rethink my setting so hopefully I''m on track.

I will be spending way more than other girls in my group of friends and extended family(they are all doctors and lawyers if that puts it in some kind of context), but I don''t think people spend a lot in the UK generally - also you don''t get a lot of bling for your $$ compared with the USA.

I know that my ring will still be sparkling away long after the plasma tv, car etc are a rusty heap so I consider every penny well spent!

Re where to buy - with the £/$ exchange rate as it is at present, I''d go to the US everytime. Last year I was going to Antwerp to buy diamonds for my friend''s rings. Just keep checking the exchange markets. I won''t buy in the UK unless it''s antique bits and pieces on ebay.

 

[Liquiddazi]

Being from NC, USA, I have seen a lot. My family''s engagement rings range from a third of a carat to almost 3/4th of a carat. In college in eastern NC, the smallest I saw was probably a half of a carat. Most of them however were at least a carat to two carats and we are talking college students buying these rings.

Now in central NC, my best friend''s has three stones totalling half of a carat and her FI spent about $700; however, my boyfriend''s roommate is custom designing a ring that will be a soltaire with 3/4th carat and is spending about 4-5 thousand.

I hope that helps!

I can honestly say that if you are trying to decide on a budget, it is completely up to the couple. My boyfriend & I have been looking at e-rings and we are looking anywhere between 1/2-3/4 carat and $3,000-4,000 is our budget.

 

[winternight]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

Sure just as soon as men start having the babies- raising the kids equaly- doing the housework equally - treating us equally and put in office a woman President!

 

[allycat0303]

grapegravity,

Well I''m asian too, and my boyfriend spent less then 1 months salary on it (although this was my choice so no complaint there). I''m a little surprised that your friends would say that in terms of how many months salary. My family-friend circle all said that owning your own home was the NUMBER 1 priority. I know that in many asian cultures, the family of the boy pays for the engagement ring (all of it) so whether so then the guy''s salary makes no difference. In my sister''s case the guy''s parents are REALLY wealthy and they bought slightly under a carat with two side stone that were 0.3 each.

I was rereading your statement and you said 3/4 carat..do you mean 3-4 carats or 0.75 carats in Calgary? In Quebec anyways, I''ve noticed this distinct trend. French Canadians have a MAX of about 0.25 carats (doctor married to doctor, etc), where else english-canadians tend to spend more on e-ring. There are 3 girls engaged in my class that have 0.75 to 1 carat stones I''ve always wondered what Canadians in the rest of Canada wear because french-canadians have a really different view on marriage/rings etc., so super intresting to hear about this.

 

[Bunnifer]

Oh, and don''t forget having dinner hot and ready when we (women) get home!

 

[Moosejaw]

Oh...I didn''t realize an engagement ring was a prepayment for services possibly or possibly not rendered.

I got in a major argument once when my idiot brother in law claimed to have bought or purchased his wife, when she accepted the engagement ring. I guess I was on the wrong side of the argument. Thanks for setting me straight. I will let my wife know my expectations of her based on your criteria tonight. If not she can give me the ring back.

I think your statement is demeaning to women, and ridiculous. Marriage, shared household responsibilites, and childbirth have ZERO to do with an engagement ring, at least to me they don''t go together. I do things for my wife because I want to, not for what she DOES or doesn''t do. Also...where do you live??? In Leave It to Beaver Lala land???? I may want to more there if you get all of those things in exchange for a ring. In Seattle there is a tendency to have equality, and responsibilities...and what about all the women who choose not to have kids? They don''t deserve as great of a ring? Haha.

Maybe that can be DeBeers new slogan...

A Diamond...for everything you expect from her.

Date: 1/11/2007 12:28:16 PM
Author: allycat0303
grapegravity,


Well I''m asian too, and my boyfriend spent less then 1 months salary on it (although this was my choice so no complaint there). I''m a little surprised that your friends would say that in terms of how many months salary. My family-friend circle all said that owning your own home was the NUMBER 1 priority. I know that in many asian cultures, the family of the boy pays for the engagement ring (all of it) so whether so then the guy''s salary makes no difference. In my sister''s case the guy''s parents are REALLY wealthy and they bought slightly under a carat with two side stone that were 0.3 each.


I was rereading your statement and you said 3/4 carat..do you mean 3-4 carats or 0.75 carats in Calgary? In Quebec anyways, I''ve noticed this distinct trend. French Canadians have a MAX of about 0.25 carats (doctor married to doctor, etc), where else english-canadians tend to spend more on e-ring. There are 3 girls engaged in my class that have 0.75 to 1 carat stones I''ve always wondered what Canadians in the rest of Canada wear because french-canadians have a really different view on marriage/rings etc., so super intresting to hear about this.

 

[allycat0303]

Uhmm MooseJaw, why are you quoting my post? I didn''t realize that I had said anything that was demeaning to woman????????? Unless you meant the asian culture thing....which I don''t think has anything to do with what a woman does. I think it''s just a sign that the family accepts and welcomes the girl into their family.

 

[grapegravity]

Date: 1/11/2007 12:28:16 PM
Author: allycat0303
grapegravity,

Well I''m asian too, and my boyfriend spent less then 1 months salary on it (although this was my choice so no complaint there). I''m a little surprised that your friends would say that in terms of how many months salary. My family-friend circle all said that owning your own home was the NUMBER 1 priority. I know that in many asian cultures, the family of the boy pays for the engagement ring (all of it) so whether so then the guy''s salary makes no difference. In my sister''s case the guy''s parents are REALLY wealthy and they bought slightly under a carat with two side stone that were 0.3 each.

I was rereading your statement and you said 3/4 carat..do you mean 3-4 carats or 0.75 carats in Calgary? In Quebec anyways, I''ve noticed this distinct trend. French Canadians have a MAX of about 0.25 carats (doctor married to doctor, etc), where else english-canadians tend to spend more on e-ring. There are 3 girls engaged in my class that have 0.75 to 1 carat stones I''ve always wondered what Canadians in the rest of Canada wear because french-canadians have a really different view on marriage/rings etc., so super intresting to hear about this.

I mean 0.75 ct.... I also went to a bridal show in calgary last year and saw many brides-to-be have a noticeable, decent size of rock on their finger, and from what I can see, they were at least 0.5 ct solitaires...

Well, most of my friends and I are second or even third generation of Asian immigrants in Canada, so the guy usually pays for the ER and then perhaps the family helps out on the wedding funds... In my case, my guy is paying everything (he bought the house and car by himself already so only the wedding left

) since he only wants me and him to make decision for our wedding plans...

I think my friends are brain-washed by the marketing scheme of some diamond company, where the guy should spend 3-6 months salary to show his love to his woman... And they are really believing in it too.... I truly disagree with them though...

 

[Bunnifer]

Date: 1/11/2007 10:46:46 AM
Author: winternight

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM

Author: Moosejaw

Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...


I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.


In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

Sure just as soon as men start having the babies- raising the kids equaly- doing the housework equally - treating us equally and put in office a woman President!

C''mon Moosejaw...follow your own train of logic. You''re implying that the engagement ring deal should be more "equal" -- that women should now buy engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. Winternight and I were merely pointing out that when other things start becoming equal (e.g., shared household duties and childbirth) THEN we''ll THINK about buying you guys engagement rings!

Nobody''s drawing any sort of connection between a woman''s worth and any presumed "expected duties".

 

[allycat0303]

grape gravity,

That''s what we did too. My boyfriend is french-canadian though, so his family doesn''t contribute to anything to anything(which incidently my parents find SHOCKING!) I''m actually really glad that he''s paying for our wedding. My sister''s wedding will be paid for by his parents and she said to me "I can''t be concentrating on anything except the wedding because there''s going to be massive conflict in his family when we get married

)." Although she said her wedding would be very budget, because his family is already buying them a house...(so that''s ring, wedding, and house) all paid for by my sister''s fiance''s parents.

I have to admit there are times where I am a bit jealous. My guy had to earn everything he had and there have been REALLY tough times behind us on the way here.

Funny thing though, when I went to the bridal show, I was also bling-watching more then anything else

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

I agree with this, but men don''t do rings very often, so more than likely it would be an engagement plasma or engagement motortcycle.

My husband ended up with an engagement STI.

As for my ring, I think if we had more time between deciding to get married and the wedding, our budget would have been bigger, but because he only had 3-4 weeks to have my custom ring done, his budget was in the $4k region. He ended up finding the perfect diamond for much less than we were expecting, so he was able to come in at $500 under his budget.

 

[grapegravity]

Date: 1/11/2007 3:23:49 PM
Author: allycat0303
grape gravity,

That''s what we did too. My boyfriend is french-canadian though, so his family doesn''t contribute to anything to anything(which incidently my parents find SHOCKING!) I''m actually really glad that he''s paying for our wedding. My sister''s wedding will be paid for by his parents and she said to me ''I can''t be concentrating on anything except the wedding because there''s going to be massive conflict in his family when we get married

).'' Although she said her wedding would be very budget, because his family is already buying them a house...(so that''s ring, wedding, and house) all paid for by my sister''s fiance''s parents.

I have to admit there are times where I am a bit jealous. My guy had to earn everything he had and there have been REALLY tough times behind us on the way here.

Funny thing though, when I went to the bridal show, I was also bling-watching more then anything else

I acutally pretty glad that his family is not gonna pay for anything, because if they do, they may interfere our future wedding planning.. my boyfriend is viet-chinese and he choose to pay for everything so we can plan OUR wedding without family confict....

 

[blinkydoll]

Date: 1/11/2007 2:32:31 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Oh...I didn''t realize an engagement ring was a prepayment for services possibly or possibly not rendered.

I got in a major argument once when my idiot brother in law claimed to have bought or purchased his wife, when she accepted the engagement ring. I guess I was on the wrong side of the argument. Thanks for setting me straight. I will let my wife know my expectations of her based on your criteria tonight. If not she can give me the ring back.

---------It seems like you love to argue i guess its good to have a hobby besides the answer to that argument is so obvious.

I think your statement is demeaning to women, and ridiculous. Marriage, shared household responsibilites, and childbirth have ZERO to do with an engagement ring, at least to me they don''t go together. I do things for my wife because I want to, not for what she DOES or doesn''t do. Also...where do you live??? In Leave It to Beaver Lala land???? I may want to more there if you get all of those things in exchange for a ring. In Seattle there is a tendency to have equality, and responsibilities..----NOT JUST ON SEATTLE

.and what about all the women who choose not to have kids? They don''t deserve as great of a ring? Haha.
----------This whole buget thread is really getting you Heated..

Maybe you should take a break and look at other stuff and relax.. like maybe look at whats going on in the world... You Choose

Maybe that can be DeBeers new slogan...

A Diamond...for everything you expect from her.

i know Guys like you

--- Not My FI Though

Relax and Have fun---
Happy DAY!

 

[colorkitty]

I don''t see anything offensive about what Moosejaw said, and I agree with him. Childbirth (as if men have any control over a biological process) and unequal division of labor later in the marriage has nothing at all to do with the inequity of women getting an expensive engagement gift and men getting nothing. To imply that women deserve these rings because they''ll be birthing babies and doing more housework does make it sound like payment for future services and makes no sense considering the growing number of women who don''t expect to have children or do more than their fare share still expect a nice ring. Modern men are doing far more housework and childcare than their fathers or grandfathers ever did. Yet engagement rings are larger and more expensive than ever. And when it''s 50/50, women will still continue to expect an engagement ring.

 

[Maisie]

If it helps at all with this discussion - my husband bought me a .25 diamond ring when we got engaged. We didn''t have very much money at the time so he spent what we could afford.

I was over the moon with the ring as he chose it.

Now we have more money he wants to buy me a bigger stone. Not because I am not happy with the one he bought - but because he knows how much I love diamonds. He wants to make me happy and says he is dying to see my face when he gives me the new ring.

Isn''t that what its about? Making your girlfriend/wife happy?

He is getting a Playstation 3. I could buy him a ring but it wouldn''t make him as happy as the PS. The difference in price is approximately £2500. We will be equally happy when we exchange the gifts.

Maisie

 

[nejarb]

My guy spent $11,000 last summer on my ring, which is 1 mo salary. He also had 80k in savings at the time (now it''s more). When we set a budget, it was 14k tops. But the ring I really really wanted (still really want) is more like 30-35k (2-2.5 ct oval w/ halfmoon or cresent sidestones).

You may have alot in savings and have a high income, but need the money for something else. For example, we didn''t want to spend 30k on my ring b/c maybe we''ll buy a house or start a biz or who knows in the next few years. Well, we''ve got the cash. In 5 years maybe i''ll get my oval. But right now I''d rather have the cash! It''s pretty ridiculous anyhow to be a 26 yr old walking around w/ a 30k ring.

oh--we didn''t reach our 14k budget b/c when I saw my ring I knew I wanted it and it was only 11k.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 1/11/2007 12:28:16 PM
Author: allycat0303
grapegravity,

Well I''m asian too, and my boyfriend spent less then 1 months salary on it (although this was my choice so no complaint there). I''m a little surprised that your friends would say that in terms of how many months salary. My family-friend circle all said that owning your own home was the NUMBER 1 priority. I know that in many asian cultures, the family of the boy pays for the engagement ring (all of it) so whether so then the guy''s salary makes no difference. In my sister''s case the guy''s parents are REALLY wealthy and they bought slightly under a carat with two side stone that were 0.3 each.

I was rereading your statement and you said 3/4 carat..do you mean 3-4 carats or 0.75 carats in Calgary? In Quebec anyways, I''ve noticed this distinct trend. French Canadians have a MAX of about 0.25 carats (doctor married to doctor, etc), where else english-canadians tend to spend more on e-ring. There are 3 girls engaged in my class that have 0.75 to 1 carat stones I''ve always wondered what Canadians in the rest of Canada wear because french-canadians have a really different view on marriage/rings etc., so super intresting to hear about this.

I guess I''m an exception.

Then again, my man is an exception in himself!

I have a .50ct with two .13ct sidestones.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

do the women get to choose your ring? because I think a ring like this might suit you well ::teasing::

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/11/2007 3:54:00 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

I agree with this, but men don''t do rings very often, so more than likely it would be an engagement plasma or engagement motortcycle.

My husband ended up with an engagement STI.

As for my ring, I think if we had more time between deciding to get married and the wedding, our budget would have been bigger, but because he only had 3-4 weeks to have my custom ring done, his budget was in the $4k region. He ended up finding the perfect diamond for much less than we were expecting, so he was able to come in at $500 under his budget.

how about this one: the engagement watch haha
http://www.engagementwatch.com/

 

[Moosejaw]

Only if that heart is made of ice.

Date: 1/12/2007 9:38:45 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

do the women get to choose your ring? because I think a ring like this might suit you well ::teasing::

 

[eac]

Date: 1/10/2007 7:52:18 PM
Author: Moosejaw
Someone made a great point about having savings in the bank vs. what person makes each month...

I personally think things should change and women should now buy men engagement rings equivalent to what the men have purchased for them. I very much doubt that women would choose to let or insist on having such amazing rings.

In my opinion it is not a smart idea to spend more than you can afford, and never go into debt for a material item that is not an investment. I had my wife''s ring paid off in 1 month, as I had a gameplan that I followed...but some people dont know how to budget.

When I was married, my husband and I did just that. We both got matching engagement rings: heavy gold band, each with a high-quality chrome tourmaline in a bezel setting. I think his ring got more admiration and comments than mine did. It was a novelty for a man to have an engagement ring, whereas I got a lot of "What, no diamond?" We both contributed to the rings'' cost; he did kick in more for the pair of rings. The total budget for this, 10 years ago with a jeweler who was a personal friend, was $1200.

Now we''ve split up and he gave his ring back to me. So I have the pair, and no idea what to do with them. My ring is still really beautiful, but the emotional baggage...oh well, our intentions were good. And if I get engaged again, I''d definitely like to get my fiancee an engagement ring if he''s getting me one.

I have another pair of friends who got each other gemstone engagement rings: an aquamarine for her, and a ruby for him. He''s a crossdresser, so his ring is just as feminine as hers is. I can''t make these things up!