Bad Week :(

[*RubyRN*]

Just a quick self-pity-party.. I am having a crummy week. I had been under the impression that my BF might be (finally) proposing on/around Christmas. A couple of nights ago we were talking about Christmas and he said "What do you want for Christmas? BESIDES a ring?" as in, you''re not getting a ring, so you''d better think of something else. I think my response was, "nothing". Not in a whiny way, more in a matter of fact way because I really can''t think of anything else I want. I''m disappointed, but I don''t even want to bring it up again because we''ve had this discussion and our "timeline" gives him 7 or 8 more months. But, in typical LIW fashion, I''m going through an intense SICK OF WAITING ANY LONGER period. It will pass, but it''s no fun

.

Then, to make matters worse, I had a horrible day at work this week. I worked one night and admitted a patient who was completely stable, no apparent critical problems. The next morning as I was getting off the elevator I heard "Code Blue, room 728"

(that patient''s room). We worked really hard to get her back but she passed away, family was completely shocked, and then we had two other patients die that day

(those were expected, on hospice already).

Then, my best friend broke up with her boyfriend of 2+ years. They have been having a lot of problems lately, and it was really hard for her to end it. Needless to say she''s having a difficult time, and I feel really horrible for her

.

And how can I forget the big finale: my dad lost his job after working for a company for almost 30 years. It just baffles me how somebody who sacrificed as much as he did and worked as hard as he did is just seen as disposable. He could have retired within 5 years had this not happened.

So there''s my bad week in a nutshell. I feel a little better already

 

[mirre]

Wow! It does seem like a horrible week. I hope next week is MUCH better for you! Sorry to hear about your friend... at least she has a great friend to help her through it though. I''m sure your dad must be devestated! I couldn''t even begin to imagine something like that and right before Christmas. I don''t think much will help but it sounds like if a company is willing to do that to a good employee then they didn''t deserve to have him there any longer anyway!

I hope things start looking better for you soon!

 

[*RubyRN*]

Thanks Mirre.

My dad''s company was already very large, but got bought out by a huge corporation.. they kept a very small percentage of their original employees, so something like 3/4 of people lost their jobs. Fortunately all of my siblings and I are adults, so we have no problem with a modest Christmas.

I guess it also works out that my parents won''t have to start thinking about paying for a wedding since my BF isn''t proposing. LOL

just trying to make light of the situation.

 

[mirre]

Haha... I guess you do kind of have a point there.

Well... maybe after the shock wears off he can look at it as a much needed and deserved vacation?

 

[Stephanie]

Ruby, I am so sorry..

 

[gwendolyn]

Oh, honey, that is a simply horrible week. I think it says a lot about you as a person that 3 out of the 4 things on your list didn''t even happen to you directly but still very deeply affected you. I wish your dad the best at dealing with the layoffs--that''s so hard anytime, but after 30 years it really is a slap in the face. It sounds like your friend is going through a hard time but that she knows ultimately it is best for her, but with the work thing, I just have to say I don''t know how you do it. I feel like I would shatter into a thousand tears if I had to deal with people dying under my care--and I know logically it''s a part of life and especially working in a hospital, but I don''t think I could personally do it. I admire you because you can.

 

[Dandi]

Oh Ruby you poor pet, these things always seem to come in clusters. I certainly hope that with the bad run you''ve had of late that something really good is in store for you, and those around you!! Cyber hugs heading your way xoxo

 

[IrishAngel7982]

I''m so sorry Ruby...when it rains, it pours! I''m sure things will get better soon...when you''re down there''s no place to go but up!

 

[E B]

I''m so sorry Ruby. *hugs*

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Ruby, I''m sorry you have had so many things happen all at once! Hopefully you got all the bad things out of the way and you''ll be clean sailing for awhile.

I wanted to tell you it touches me that despite everything you have going on, you are still able to be there for your friend and feel her pain. It takes an incredible person to make room in their heart for others.

 

[bee*]

Aww that week definitely sucks! I''m really sorry to hear about all the bad things that have happened to you this week. Sending lots of hugs

 

[sandia_rose]

Oh, man....I''ve had those weeks too. When it rains, it freaking pours. I''m sorry for you....

>A couple of nights ago we were talking about Christmas and he said "What do you
>want for Christmas? BESIDES a ring?" as in, you''re not getting a ring, so you''d better
>think of something else. I think my response was, "nothing". Not in a whiny way,
>more in a matter of fact way because I really can''t think of anything else I want.

Ya know, a lot of times, we think one thing and the reality of it is waaaaay different than what you thought. Have you considered that maybe he''s already gotten you a ring and doesn''t want to give you just that for Christmas? Men can be really dumb sometimes - they do things that make sense to them but not to us and have no clue they did it. He could be thinking, "Ahhhh. I''ll get her to think a ring is not coming and then surprise her with it!" I have had a lot of talks with my boyfriend, thinking he didn''t hear me/process what I said....come to find out, he listened to every word and just didn''t let on that he did. My point is - assume THE BEST and not the worst. You can blast him for being an idiot if he proves your initial thought correct, but until then, don''t torture yourself.

>The next morning as I was getting off the elevator I heard "Code Blue, room 728" (that patient''s
>room). We worked really hard to get her back but she passed away, family was completely shocked,
>and then we had two other patients die that day (those were expected, on hospice already).

On this, I know you feel bad....but understand that we all have our timeframes as to when we''re going to die. You did your best and you know you did. It might not make sense to you, and families are never ready to let their loved ones go, no matter how much time they have to prepare, but in the scheme of the patient -- it probably was just her time to go. Don''t beat yourself up over it.

>Then, my best friend broke up with her boyfriend of 2+ years. They have been having a lot of
>problems lately, and it was really hard for her to end it. Needless to say she''s having a difficult time,
>and I feel really horrible for her.
>
>And how can I forget the big finale: my dad lost his job after working for a company for almost 30 years.

On these two things: When one door closes, another opens. That, and the old saying, "It''s darkest before the dawn." My best friend''s husband cheated on her and actually had the gall to blame it on the fact that my friend is getting older and he wanted a much much younger woman!!!!!! I felt horrible - her marriage was one that I had envied. But apparently, there were things going on with the man that were hidden where I couldn''t see. She was devistated....was smart enough to throw the dirtbag out....and a year later met a man who treats her like her husband never did -- and he''s more interesting, better-looking, has a better future ahead of him, has a nicer home, etc. And as to jobs? I got downsized from a job I loved and was out of work for 6 months. That drained my bank account, not to mention created massive stress. BUT, I was offered a job that paid me more than the old one did. And to top it off, the company that let me go was bought out by a competitor. Had I continued to work there, I would have lost my job and wouldn''t have gotten any severance (the buy-out company basically handed out pink slips and nothing else - they cleaned house and filled jobs with their own people).

As to your Dad, do him a favor and get him the # of a good corporate law or employment lawyer. I have a friend who worked in Human Resources and she said that this is a growing trend -- letting seasoned employees go so they won''t have to pay pensions. BUT, if this can be proven in your Dad''s case, then he stands to get a settlement -- and maybe can retire NOW as opposed to years from now.

It will get better.........

Hugs,
Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[*RubyRN*]

Ladies~

Thank you all for your kind replies

It''s funny how much people you don''t even really know can make you feel better.

Sandia- I appreciate your optimism

, but my BF is really not the kind of guy to trick me and/or plan surprises behind my back, so I am almost positive that he does not already have a ring or a plan for that matter.

That being said, after all the bad things that happened last week I am finished with my pity party. I just needed to step back and stop worrying so much about everything going on. The great thing about my job is that situations like what happened last week kind of force me to re-evaluate my priorities and really put the things I see as "problems" into perspective. I know I should be thankful that I don''t have worse things going on in my life right now. And it only takes one good day to overpower all of the hard days at work... case in point: I got a call at work to come to the nurse''s station a few days ago. When I got there, the wife of a patient I had taken care of (one of my favorite patients EVER) for several weeks straight was standing there with a card and a little box. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me "Hal passed away at the nursing home last week. He had wanted me to give this to you because you took such good care of him when he was here, but I never got around to it until now." She gave me the box which had a little gold angel pin inside it and said "you''re an angel" and gave me a big hug.

How could I not feel better?

Thanks again girls

 

[HollyS]

Geez, that is a lousy week - - probably more so for your Dad or that patient's family though, huh?

Here's some perspective on the ring: just because he asked what you want besides a ring does not mean that you aren't getting one in the near future. Maybe he doesn't want it to be your Christmas gift. My DH always told me that he would never propose at Christmas, Valentine's, B-Day, or other "expected" and cliched moments. He wanted it to stand out and be a special occasion in its own right. So relax. It sounds like he already knows that you expect to get engaged at some point soon.