Break up season???

[beezygal]

A few weeks ago, a couple of our friends broke up (28-29 yr-old). They''ve been going out for at least 4-5 years. I really thought they would be engaged and get married. The girl decided to go Australia to travel/work for a year and doesn''t know when she''ll come back. At that time, I told my bf I think there''s something going to happen to them. Then, one day, my bf told me they actually broke up. The guy said the girl is too independent, doesn''t need him at all. I think if you''re in a committed relationship for so long, when you make a decision, you have to think about your SO. You can''t just decide to go to another country and don''t know when you''ll be back.

Then, yesterday, I found out another couple of our friends broke up. They''ve been together for 2 years. The guy is 28-29 and the girl is like 21-22. A friend told me the guy broke up with the girl over the phone. The reason is... "I don''t think I''ll ever ask you to marry me." OUCH!

It''s like a chain reaction. I realized when summer comes, couples seem to fall apart. My last 2 relationships had ended around summer also. One more thing, these two couples are very sweet in public. I am always so jealous of couples being so sweet in public. I guess just because they''re sweet in front of others, doesn''t mean it''s a good thing. (don''t get me wrong, I''m sure it''s not a bad thing too) My bf and I don''t really show it in public and we''re going to be engaged!!! Now, he''s like " don''t envy couple who are sweet, ''cuz they all broke up."

(I always say how come we''re not like them...)

As much as I''m excited about my engagement (hopfully very soon

), I feel so sad about my friends.

 

[amc80]

I notice that sort of thing too. Most of my friends are already married, and it''s like that for babies- I had 5 friends pregnant at the same time last year.

 

[janinegirly]

In my single days, I noticed break ups tended to happen just before or around Mem Days (esp if the guy is iniiating) -- it''s as if the guy wants to be free and carefree for the summer!

 

[Autumnovember]

Thats sad

I don''t notice it as much around summer. For me, I notice it randomly but when it does happen it happens in big amounts of numbers.

 

[luckynumber]

i think it happens at certain ages.

once you reach your late 20s, you look at your partner and ask "am I going to marry this person?"

if the honest answer is no, then most decent people will end the relationship.

it happens.

 

[misskitty]

I sometimes wonder if there's a "season" for it...two of my close friends and my brother all ended relationships within days of each other (right around the start of June). Not that the weather or time of year caused the breakups or anything, but maybe there's something about a season change that makes people take action on decisions they've just been sitting on?

 

[Autumnovember]

Date: 7/1/2010 4:21:26 PM
Author: misskitty
I sometimes wonder if there''s a ''season'' for it...two of my close friends and my brother all ended relationships within days of each other (right around the start of June). Not that the weather or time of year caused the breakups or anything, but maybe there''s something about a season change that makes people take action on decisions they''ve just been sitting on?

It''s very possible. I have a database of published experiments that have been done...I should search for it and see what I come up with.

 

[amc80]

I just read an article about how divorces are sort of contagious. The theory is that if one couple gets divorced, their friends may start paying the divorcees extra attention (in terms of friendship/support) and pay less attention to their spouse...which creates another divorce. Repeat.

 

[nicoleben]

I agree with u beezygal... my boyfriend and i are cute and cuddly when were alone together, but in public we dont make a big deal about it.. I always say.. how come u dont like to show too much attention in public? and he says... i dont know.. i dont feel like we have to display our love for each other out loud! yes, we hold hands, or cuddle up in a movie, but at diiner or something, were very conservative, laid back, not on top of each other,... and although sometimes i sit there and ponder why we arent like that.. i find it kind of nice. I know he loves me, i love him, thats all that matters

and as for other people breaking up. dont worry about that! I dont beleive in summer season or winter season for breakups!!

 

[beezygal]

Date: 7/1/2010 6:41:57 PM
Author: nicoleben
I agree with u beezygal... my boyfriend and i are cute and cuddly when were alone together, but in public we dont make a big deal about it.. I always say.. how come u dont like to show too much attention in public? and he says... i dont know.. i dont feel like we have to display our love for each other out loud! yes, we hold hands, or cuddle up in a movie, but at diiner or something, were very conservative, laid back, not on top of each other,... and although sometimes i sit there and ponder why we arent like that.. i find it kind of nice. I know he loves me, i love him, thats all that matters

and as for other people breaking up. dont worry about that! I dont beleive in summer season or winter season for breakups!!

nicole... haven't seen you for awhile!!! how's the proposal coming along?

my bf and I are exactly like that too. When I asked my bf why we aren't like that... he said "we don't need to show the whole world. " I read from Cosmo about couples showing too much attention in public. It says something in private they are usually the opposite. One of my friends and her bf are always cuddling... even during dinner time. They'll be touching each other's shoulder, legs, waist and stuff. I saw them holding hands while driving too.

Sometimes they are just talking among themselves passionately during dinner. I'm like hello??? it's a gathering!!!. We all think it's too much. A few times they kissed and hugged in front of my parents. My mom told me that my dad was like "good that our daughter's not like that."

 

[beezygal]

Date: 7/1/2010 4:11:39 PM
Author: luckynumber
i think it happens at certain ages.

once you reach your late 20s, you look at your partner and ask ''am I going to marry this person?''

if the honest answer is no, then most decent people will end the relationship.

it happens.

ditto. Since the guy is in the late 20s... he wants to be with someone he wants to marry. I''m surprised it took him 2 years to find out. Then, my bf said, you need some time to see if you want to marry that person.

 

[sonnyjane]

Date: 7/1/2010 5:38:03 PM
Author: amc80
I just read an article about how divorces are sort of contagious. The theory is that if one couple gets divorced, their friends may start paying the divorcees extra attention (in terms of friendship/support) and pay less attention to their spouse...which creates another divorce. Repeat.

I would imagine that they are also contagious in that maybe there are a few couples that know each other that are having underlying issues. Seeing one person break free and move on to greener pastures might serve as a catalyst for other couples to follow suit.

 

[nicoleben]

HEllloO!!! yea i was quiet for a while there.haha

but totally agree with u on the PDA..

as for me and the bf, things r great.. going to the beach this weekend in deleware with my parents for the weekend, so i beleive hes going to ask them to marry me since hell prob have the time to do it.. if not, oh well! but i think he is.. he came home late from work the other day and that was odd for a tuesday... and i know he has the money to make the last down payment on the ring and i think its happening this week.. that hell have the ring i mean... just dont know when hell do it ! How about u!?!? Things going good!@?!?

 

[zipzapgirl]

I think there''s definitely a season for breakups.

Sometimes they are in the summer because of wedding season. The couple goes to the wedding and then one or both realizes that that''s not going to be in their future. Or they''ve just passed engagement season (Xmas, New Years, Valentines Day) without a ring and it takes a few months to break it off.

More often they are in the fall. Seems like summer gets busy and when things settle down and people start thinking about the year (maybe we''re all still in school mode

), they realize the relationship isn''t going where they want it to and break it off.

 

[RhubarbPie]

I think, in my experience, a lot of breakups happen during Feb-March. In college (I just finished grad school so most of my experience is based on school-type settings), this is when the weather gets a little dreary, everyone is depressed because work/school starts up again after the holidays and its still cold and snowy, but no one is excited about the holidays or anything anymore. Its just cold and snowy, period. Its almost like people get seasonal depression. The first year, I was actually scared that we werent going to make it through those months because of the seasonal thing. But we did! And I''m not worried now But I do see a lot of my friends don''t make it out alive.

 

[beezygal]

Date: 7/2/2010 10:59:06 AM
Author: RhubarbPie
I think, in my experience, a lot of breakups happen during Feb-March. In college (I just finished grad school so most of my experience is based on school-type settings), this is when the weather gets a little dreary, everyone is depressed because work/school starts up again after the holidays and its still cold and snowy, but no one is excited about the holidays or anything anymore. Its just cold and snowy, period. Its almost like people get seasonal depression. The first year, I was actually scared that we werent going to make it through those months because of the seasonal thing. But we did! And I''m not worried now But I do see a lot of my friends don''t make it out alive.

I heard that Feb-March is the more depressed season. People seem to commit suicide around that time. That''s why university has "reading-break" for a week in Canada. I don''t know if they have that in the state?

 

[Jessie702]

Ive noticeed that too about certain times of the year. I just recently had a friend file for divorce from her hubby....