BREAK UP
- Thread starter LIW13
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I''m so sorry! It sounds like if he had such an extreme reaction to a perfectly reasonable question, then perhaps it wasn''t meant to be.
To just walk out so suddenly tells me that he was at some kind of breaking point. Why, I have no way of knowing, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Hugs!
laurel_aurelia
Shiny_Rock
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anchor31
Ideal_Rock
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Of course it was a reasonable question! He couldn''t expect you to listen to all his talk and not want to get some action! Having dreams is fine, but there''s no way to make them come true if you don''t discuss how/when/where...
I''m really sorry this happened... You deserve someone who''s not just talk and no action though, and who respects you enough to take your dreams into consideration too, not just his.
Feel free to vent, we''ll listen.
I''m really sorry this happened... You deserve someone who''s not just talk and no action though, and who respects you enough to take your dreams into consideration too, not just his.
Feel free to vent, we''ll listen.
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Oh no...LIW13...you are my PS twin, remember?
I wonder what got into him!?. I can understand that he wants it to be a surprise, I can understand he wants to shop for a ring alone...but to react like that??
Was he having a bad day?? maybe all the marriage talk freaked him out a little and he just needs to take a deep breath and take it all in?....arghhh....it''s so hard to give advice in a situation like this
*hugs*....we are here if you need to vent or just chat!!
M~
I wonder what got into him!?. I can understand that he wants it to be a surprise, I can understand he wants to shop for a ring alone...but to react like that??
Was he having a bad day?? maybe all the marriage talk freaked him out a little and he just needs to take a deep breath and take it all in?....arghhh....it''s so hard to give advice in a situation like this
*hugs*....we are here if you need to vent or just chat!!
M~
laurel_aurelia
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i tried to post this before; not sure what happened..
does he normally have an anger problem of any sort that would make this "in line" with some of his other behavior? (i.e., storming out, hanging up on you, etc?) or is this totally out character?
(sorry i have a social work degree so i am analytical. but not drama filled, so we''ll keep this entry nice.
does he normally have an anger problem of any sort that would make this "in line" with some of his other behavior? (i.e., storming out, hanging up on you, etc?) or is this totally out character?
(sorry i have a social work degree so i am analytical. but not drama filled, so we''ll keep this entry nice.
Mandarine
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That is a great question Laurel!...
I know that when I''m very mad or deeply hurt I need to walk out...just to calm down and organize my thoughts. When I''m hurt I just can''t think straight!.
I know you answered back to him and that''s when he snapped?....was there a tone to when you said that maybe he wasn''t the right guy for you?...maybe he felt like this is what you had been meaning to tell?...and that''s why he reacted that way?...maybe he thinks you are the one that said the "not right for me" thing first so he''s actually thinking exactly why you are thinking?. I dunno...just a thought
The thing is...why hasn''t he called?. *sigh*....I know this is really hard...but hang in there.
I know that when I''m very mad or deeply hurt I need to walk out...just to calm down and organize my thoughts. When I''m hurt I just can''t think straight!.
I know you answered back to him and that''s when he snapped?....was there a tone to when you said that maybe he wasn''t the right guy for you?...maybe he felt like this is what you had been meaning to tell?...and that''s why he reacted that way?...maybe he thinks you are the one that said the "not right for me" thing first so he''s actually thinking exactly why you are thinking?. I dunno...just a thought
The thing is...why hasn''t he called?. *sigh*....I know this is really hard...but hang in there.
Mandarine
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Scooba
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Mandarine
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hmmm...my mom had a very similar situation recently and we never really knew what made him react that way...he also just kind of snapped and that was that!.....
What I told my mom is that it is better to find out about this sooner...Someone that snaps and just kind of reacts like that for no reason is also someone that has anger problems and you don''t want to be involved in a bad situation.....believe me.
Your BF (from the little I know) sounds a lot like my ex. In the sense that he would get angry and just storm out (even if he had been drinking! he would just grab his car and go!!). He would then come back around....I took him back the first couple of times...after that I realized it wasn''t a healthy relationship...and it was not going to end pretty. So I ended it...and I''m so happy I did!!
This snapping could be a result of something else....has he done this to you before?
What I told my mom is that it is better to find out about this sooner...Someone that snaps and just kind of reacts like that for no reason is also someone that has anger problems and you don''t want to be involved in a bad situation.....believe me.
Your BF (from the little I know) sounds a lot like my ex. In the sense that he would get angry and just storm out (even if he had been drinking! he would just grab his car and go!!). He would then come back around....I took him back the first couple of times...after that I realized it wasn''t a healthy relationship...and it was not going to end pretty. So I ended it...and I''m so happy I did!!
This snapping could be a result of something else....has he done this to you before?
Mimikins24
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Wow dear, that is just too strange! You really can't blame yourself on this. He was the one who brought the discussion up, so he can't expect you not to have a dialogue about it. This really sounds like there is something more going on here, especially when you consider his reactions with other people lately.
There is someone wonderful out there who will love you, take care of you, and build a future with you. The running away behaviour is really weird and not a healthy way of dealing with an issue.
I hope you get a resolution to this (rather than him just taking off). Take care of yourself and we are here when you want to talk. *hugs*
(edited for spelling)
There is someone wonderful out there who will love you, take care of you, and build a future with you. The running away behaviour is really weird and not a healthy way of dealing with an issue.
I hope you get a resolution to this (rather than him just taking off). Take care of yourself and we are here when you want to talk. *hugs*
(edited for spelling)
Mandarine
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Mandarine
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jesterjigger
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I''m sorry LIW13...I''ve felt your pain...my ex was allowed to talk about our kids, driving around the US in a motorhome when we were retired, our wedding, etc, etc, but I wasn''t allowed to mention future plans for even the summer! Of course, it was probably because he was cheating on me with two girls at the time and felt like a jerk, but still. I never mentioned anything about an actual when because I got shot down just trying to make plans for six months from the present. And I put up with that for a year and a half! I''m sorry this happened to you like it did...it has to be hard after hearing him talk about your future. But...be strong, the right guy is out there, and lose this jerk, even if he comes back on hands and knees. You don''t want anyone in your life that can just hurt you like that and not call even. It''s not worth it, just think how he''ll act once you''re married and are stuck? (((((((hugs))))))))
Mandarine
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LIW...I think you might never get some of the answers you are looking for (such as the vacation)....
It''s hard to give advice ina situation like this because none of us know the guy
Anyway, good luck....try to get your mind off of things. I always find that going out with my GFs always helps. Getting online to look at what hotties are out there also helps
(at least me anyway!)
*hugs*
M~
It''s hard to give advice ina situation like this because none of us know the guy
Anyway, good luck....try to get your mind off of things. I always find that going out with my GFs always helps. Getting online to look at what hotties are out there also helps
*hugs*
M~
What the hell does that even mean?? Ill talk about the future but never when?.. more security?? what?? if thats all he''s been talking about, it makes you think that its going to happen somewhat soon so your question was fine....if he wasnt ready to discuss a "when" then he shouldnt have been bring it up all the time.....
I''m so sorry to hear about this LIW13,
I think you have every right to be hurt and upset. I would have asked the same thing, it seems like a reasonable discussion to have if you are planning vacations so far in advance. Either way, I am sending you lots of cyber-hugs and wishing you the best. I hope you feel better soon!
FireGoddess
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He''s an SOB. I don''t even know him, but I''m comfortable calling him one.
He''s not the right guy for you at ALL if he will ''never under any circumstances discuss a when.'' I''m sorry, but even though you are devastated right now, he''s actually doing you a FAVOR. What a jackass. I want to punch him.
I''m sure you''re hurting like hell right now but all I can say is, NOBODY should be flipping out on you like that, especially for a conversation that you had every right to bring up. Seriously, even if he ever showed his face to you again...I would show him the door.
He''s not the right guy for you at ALL if he will ''never under any circumstances discuss a when.'' I''m sorry, but even though you are devastated right now, he''s actually doing you a FAVOR. What a jackass. I want to punch him.
I''m sure you''re hurting like hell right now but all I can say is, NOBODY should be flipping out on you like that, especially for a conversation that you had every right to bring up. Seriously, even if he ever showed his face to you again...I would show him the door.
aljdewey
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moon river
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Sounds to me like there is a deeper issue at hand. If he''s been doing this with others lately I''d say he has something heavy going on and he''s not talking to anyone about it right now. Don''t jump to conclusions. It could be you were just in his line of fire at the moment. Either way, big hugs. Let us know how things are going.
plantationcatt
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