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Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it?

M

Miss_Hamburg

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
7
My fiancé and I are in the process of picking and buying an engagement ring. I have decided on the setting I want. Unfortunately the seller (Whiteflash) will not set it with my own stone because it is not a diamond. They will, however, sell just the setting and ship it to me or my jeweller to have them set it.

That sounds fair to me but I cannot for the life of me find a jeweller in my area who would be able or willing to do that for whatever reasons. And most of them do sell rings that have center stones other than diamond so that can't be why.

I cannot afford a diamond so I am going with another type of stone and I don't see why this appears to be such a problem. Is there anything that I'm missing?

So there comes my question: who knows of a trustworthy jeweller that will set the ring and then ship it to me? I would be willing to purchase the setting through them if they offer me the same or a very similar design to the one from Whiteflash.

It is their Petite Open Cathedral Pavé setting and I want it set with an approximately 0,5-0,6 mm round brilliant cut stone.

Is anyone on here that can help?
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Just wondering what kind of stone you are having set? Some stones are harder to set due to them being more fragile.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Do you have a link to the WF setting?
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

The type of stone may be the missing piece of the puzzle. If so, the folks in the colored stone section may be of great assistance.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Tiny details make a big difference and not all stones will fit in all mountings. Jewelers won't agree to do a job without seeing and analyzing ALL of the pieces before they commit to it. I'm not surprised that you aren't getting a straight answer over the phone or email. That said, smaller shops where the setter is the owner is the salesperson seem to be more inclined to take in this kind of work than the chain or franchise type of operations.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

There are many reasons why you could be turned down for this project. For example, some companies won't set outside stones as a company policy. It can just be too much of a liability when you don't know everything about the quality of the stone and the setting. There is also a great point that was brought up by others regarding the type of stone. Colored stones are not as hardy as diamond and can be much more difficult to set, most jewelers won't touch a sphene with a ten foot pole!

I personally have had the best luck at jewelry stores with a bench in-house. That way the person that will actually be setting your stone can take a good look at it with your setting to see if it will work. Also, colored stones aren't always cut to calibrated sizes which adds yet another level of difficulty to the setting process, so having the setting made to fit the precise measurements of your stone will greatly increase your chances of finding someone willing to work with you. HTH! :wavey:
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Thanks for all the replies.

I am not naming the stone because it is against the rules of this board to do so and I don't want to be kicked out of here.
But maybe you can guess... ?

Sorry I forgot to post a link to the setting. Here it is:
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/diamond-settings/petite-open-cathedral-diamond-engagement-ring-1539.htm

I live in Germany and there is not really a tradition of engagement rings, at least not in the American sense.
We have Tiffany and Cartier and some other name brand jewellers that sell them but they are way too pricey for us.

Regular/smaller jewellery stores don't carry them at all. All they have are classic solitaires with little to no "fuss".
The jewellers that I spoke with all said that they had no experience with American engagement rings and thus would not want to set them for me. But I guess the real reason are liability issues. What if they mess up the setting or stone? They would have to reimburse me and they don't want that. It cannot be THAT hard to set a stone into a pre-made setting. At least not if you are a certified jeweller! I would think that is a core competence of any jeweller.

I know it would be easier/better if the jeweller could examine the ring and the stone first. But what if I order the setting and end up having to send it back because no one will set it for me?

That is why I asked if anyone knew of a good jeweller. I could have setting and stone sent to them for inspection first.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

that setting is a very popular style...I'm sure you could find another vendor that carries it? if your stone is a colored stone, the people in the colored stone forum will be able to help. if it is a simulant, some jewelers might not set these but I am sure you can find someone who will-perhaps the same vendor where you are getting the stone?
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

I would see if the vendor selling you the stone would set it, unless they only sell stones and no settings. I know there are simulant sites that sell both the stones and settings, though, so it would be worth a check.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

I checked with the vendor of the stone but they will not set it as they do not currently take custom orders.

I am getting kind of frustrated. I don't have the funds for a good quality diamond in the size that I want it to be (about 3/4 carat) and I don't see the point in buying a low quality diamond just to have a diamond when there are other stones that are just as pretty.

I had one company offer me a brown looking 0,8 carat diamond (a K on the color scale) with not the best of cuts for $1500 and tried to sell it to me as "champagne colored". Which, according to the salesperson I talked to, was THE up and coming trend in America. It made me quite sad to have people act all nice and at the same time playing me for a fool just to get money out of me.

I mean I can always upgrade to a diamond in a couple years when I have the money and feel like spending it on a sparkly little stone. :)
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Oh and no, it is not a colored stone. It is white or clear or whatever you want to name it. I don't want to step on anyones toes, else I would post a link to the vendors homepage.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

My understanding is that WF will set a CZ as a temporary stone but they supply the stone.

Wink from High Performance Diamonds is someone else who may be able to to help you. He has a lovely selection of settings of which you could find something very close to the one you like. He sets colored gemstones, diamonds and other stones.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

What is your budget? Are you open to a pre-loved ring? I do know there are vendors who will set colored stones or stimulants if that is along the line you are thinking. I do think it would be easier if you can get the stone and setting at the same place though. That WF is pretty and a fairly popular style so depending on your budget I'm sure we can find you something close. Of course since you won't name the stone it is possible that what you are wanting would be too soft or some other truly technical reason that WF or possibly another vendor won't or can't set it...
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

I agree that you will probably have to buy your stone and the setting from the same place in order to get it set. That is usually best even when the stone is a diamond. Or ask WF if they will set with their own temporary stone.

Have you considered getting a diamond band as an e-ring/wedding band and then adding a diamond e-ring later? We've seen a good many people here do that, and I think it is a great idea for those who want to wait and save for the kind of e-ring they want.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

I'm a bit ashamed to say since it is probably laughably small but my budget is somewhere around $2500.

We are young professionals and money is tight. We both still have to pay off our college loans and are also trying to save for a down payment for our first house.

I might just keep saving for another year or two or go down in carat size to maybe 0,5 although that appears to be pretty small even on my size 4 finger.

I don't see the point of getting a cubic zirconia as a stand-in? Doesn't it hurt the ring or at least the prongs if you set it with a stand-in only to remove that stand-in a couple weeks later to set it with its designated stone?
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Miss_Hamburg|1327426288|3110535 said:
I'm a bit ashamed to say since it is probably laughably small but my budget is somewhere around $2500.

We are young professionals and money is tight. We both still have to pay off our college loans and are also trying to save for a down payment for our first house.

I might just keep saving for another year or two or go down in carat size to maybe 0,5 although that appears to be pretty small even on my size 4 finger.

I don't see the point of getting a cubic zirconia as a stand-in? Doesn't it hurt the ring or at least the prongs if you set it with a stand-in only to remove that stand-in a couple weeks later to set it with its designated stone?
Click to expand...


HI:

You have a wonderful budget! And any ring will look very well on your finger size.

Have you considered a very sparkly diamond laden wedding band or three/five stone ring? Honeslty you have options!

cheers--Sharon
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Miss_Hamburg|1327426288|3110535 said:
I'm a bit ashamed to say since it is probably laughably small but my budget is somewhere around $2500.

We are young professionals and money is tight. We both still have to pay off our college loans and are also trying to save for a down payment for our first house.

I might just keep saving for another year or two or go down in carat size to maybe 0,5 although that appears to be pretty small even on my size 4 finger.

I don't see the point of getting a cubic zirconia as a stand-in? Doesn't it hurt the ring or at least the prongs if you set it with a stand-in only to remove that stand-in a couple weeks later to set it with its designated stone?
Click to expand...

oh my gosh-a size 4 finger is tiny and I think a 0.5 carat diamond would look quite nice! Also, 2500 is not a small budget. We will help you find some options for sure!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

HI:

Did you notice the 14% incentive for "Valentine Day" (buy stone, reduction on setting) and the $25 reduction for first time buyers? Thats gotta help! :bigsmile:

Are you set on that particular mount or would a plain solitare setting do--since there is a .57 ACA stone within your budget if you were to chose a simplier mount. Or you can get a smaller stone now (under half carat) , in the setting you want, and "trade up later" for a larger diamond when your budget allows.

Options! :appl:

cheers--Sharon
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Ok, then we are all misunderstanding what your mystery stone is! The forbidden stones are simulants, so I have no idea what you are trying to set!

If you went with a vendor with an upgrade policy (as Sharon just said), you could start out with a small diamond with the least expensive setting and then upgrade when you are able. Don't buy the dream setting until you reach the size diamond you want long term.

Otherwise, I still think a 7 stone diamond band would be a great choice and then you can add the e-ring later.
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Don't be ashamed of your budget! Nor should you have to validate why the budget is what it is! I don't think anyone here would be that rude and comment saying otherwise. I think it is very wise to also be saving for other things and not putting every last penny into a ring. Every engagement ring is special, whether the budget is $100 or $100,000!

Have you looked at any other shaped stones? I personally love emerald cuts and I know that they are less expensive; but if you don't love that shape then thats no help. Even pears are less expensive. I definitely think you can get a wonderful ring within your budget!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Hi,

I take my stones and settings to a local jeweler who usually just checks to make sure the sizes are right and charges me anywhere from 35.00 to 50.00(for emeralds). You may be over explaining this situation to jewelers. Just say you have stone to set in a 14kt or 18kt ring. How much do they charge? Tell them its a cz for now. Germany must have local jewelers. Try them.

Also, check with WF and see if they in fact will set a cz for you. They may, and then no problem.

Annette
 
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

LOL yes Germany does have jewellers. I will just keep searching until I find a nice one that's not too over the top and snobby. Then I'll present them with the setting and the stone (which, to use the forbidden word) would be an Amora Moissanite for now and ask them if they will set it, please and thank you, even if they have never heard of that stone. Maybe it will work this way and if not then I'll just return the setting and stone and look for another option.

Maybe I'll go with a Tiffany style solitaire as they are indeed cheaper and upgrade the setting down the road but that would be a compromise in the style department and I'm not sure if that's a good thing even if that would allow for a real diamond in a decent quality.

I am set on the whiteflash setting and a round brilliant cut stone since it reminds me of my dream princess ring from back when I was a little kid. That ring would then be Cartiers 1895 style with sidestones.

I don't want to wear an eternity band as an engagement ring but it is a nice suggestion. We want our wedding rings to match and we are just not ready to pick out wedding rings. For now we just want to enjoy being engaged.

Oh well, maybe I should not put so much emphasis on this whole ring thing. Maybe it's not THAT important after all.
But I do appreciate all your suggestions and nice comments.

It helps!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

PLEASE call Whiteflash and tell them what you are trying to do!!!!! Your budget is perfectly acceptable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

In most ring designs and I'm sure it's the case in the ring you picked from WF it will not hurt the prongs to have stones set in it and swap it out later for a different diamond or colored stone. If your heart is really set on that exact setting then please do contact WF again, calling if possible and see what they can work out for you. I'd hate to see you settle for something that's not exactly what you want and I'm sure there is some way WF can help with something. You do have a nice budget so you could always get a smaller stone in the exact setting, or get a stone now and set it in a temp setting and then have it set into your dream setting when budget allows...

Another option: email Pearlman's and see if the seller will negotiate on price, you could even wear the solitaire for now and then buy the setting from WF down the road.. You could also sell the setting and recoup some of your $


http://www.pearlmansjewelers.com/jewelry-specials/estate-jewelry/rings/36EB1/
 
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

If would consider the second hand market, you can get a very nice sized diamond for your budget. I think you can even get a 1ct OEC!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

Miss_Hamburg|1327423883|3110497 said:
I checked with the vendor of the stone but they will not set it as they do not currently take custom orders.

I am getting kind of frustrated. I don't have the funds for a good quality diamond in the size that I want it to be (about 3/4 carat) and I don't see the point in buying a low quality diamond just to have a diamond when there are other stones that are just as pretty.

I had one company offer me a brown looking 0,8 carat diamond (a K on the color scale) with not the best of cuts for $1500 and tried to sell it to me as "champagne colored". Which, according to the salesperson I talked to, was THE up and coming trend in America. It made me quite sad to have people act all nice and at the same time playing me for a fool just to get money out of me.

I mean I can always upgrade to a diamond in a couple years when I have the money and feel like spending it on a sparkly little stone. :)
Click to expand...

I would love a light brown stone! :P especially if it was Asscher with white single cut halo! Ah be still my heart!
Anyway, my stone is a K and it's not brown. You also have to take into consideration the lab that graded it.
There are many people on this forum that love the lower color stones. They can be quite beautiful, but it's just a matter of preference.
Maybe we can help you find something within your budget and preferences?
Good luck!
 
Re: Buying the stone and setting separately. Who will set it

SweetAsscher, I didn't intend to hurt anyones' feelings or question their choices/preferences. Sorry if I did!

I think I'm going with what Sharon suggested. I'm in close contact with Liza Horowitz from Whiteflash and she assured me that she's going to find a nice diamond that's within my budget. She also said that she thinks 0.5 carat will look plenty big on my tiny fingers and even more so since the setting is really dainty and delicate.

Also, I can always trade up later on if I want as they will take the stone back and exchange it. But Liza said I might not even want to because even at $1500 the stone would be very pretty and sparkly and all that.

According to her most people wouldn't be able to see the lower quality of the stone unless they'd hold a better quality diamond right next to it. She said that no one would expect me to wear a $50,000 diamond anyway and that I should stop fretting over what random people on an online weddion wedding board think is appropriate.
 
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