Calling all LIWs under 25

[fuzzers]

Hey everyone, I''m new!

I''ve been lurking for a while but finally got the courage to post. I feel I might be the youngest person on this board. I am 20 and SO is 22. We''ve been together for four wonderful years. Lately I''ve really been getting the marriage bug because he''s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with! I get misty-eyed watching wedding commercials, have been searching online for dress styles... I feel like I''m going nuts!

I just need support from other younger LIWs... how are you dealing? These days I hear so many people say wait till you''re 25 to get married, many say 30. Do you agree with this? Just want to hear some of your experiences!

Sadly marriage for me seems to be far off...

SO has a year left on his bachelor''s and then will probably go for a master''s. I have quite a bit of schooling left but when we get married depends on his schedule. We will most likely get married around our 8th anniversary (or 9th?? I don''t know). This bums me out more because I won''t be moving in before we get engaged/married, and that''s something I really look forward to. Anyone else in the same situation?

Thank you for reading, your forum is fabulous!

Fuzzers

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:41:03 AM
Author:fuzzers
Hey everyone, I''m new!

I''ve been lurking for a while but finally got the courage to post. I feel I might be the youngest person on this board. I am 20 and SO is 22. We''ve been together for four wonderful years. Lately I''ve really been getting the marriage bug because he''s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with! I get misty-eyed watching wedding commercials, have been searching online for dress styles... I feel like I''m going nuts!

I just need support from other younger LIWs... how are you dealing? These days I hear so many people say wait till you''re 25 to get married, many say 30. Do you agree with this? Just want to hear some of your experiences!

Sadly marriage for me seems to be far off...

SO has a year left on his bachelor''s and then will probably go for a master''s. I have quite a bit of schooling left but when we get married depends on his schedule. We will most likely get married around our 8th anniversary (or 9th?? I don''t know). This bums me out more because I won''t be moving in before we get engaged/married, and that''s something I really look forward to. Anyone else in the same situation?

Thank you for reading, your forum is fabulous!

Fuzzers

I am exactly 25, can I still throw in my .02?

I just wanted to say there''s nothing wrong with getting married when you''re young. However, the person I was with when I was 20, and thought I was going to marry... well... I imagine being with him now, and it''s laughable. He was awful!

Just make sure you listen to your head AND your heart, and don''t let the excitement of marriage skew your judgment on marrying the right person. Marriage is tons of work, of course, so make sure you''re well-equipped!

Good Luck, and Welcome!

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:47:55 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/15/2008 11:41:03 AM

Author:fuzzers

Hey everyone, I'm new!

I've been lurking for a while but finally got the courage to post. I feel I might be the youngest person on this board. I am 20 and SO is 22. We've been together for four wonderful years. Lately I've really been getting the marriage bug because he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with! I get misty-eyed watching wedding commercials, have been searching online for dress styles... I feel like I'm going nuts!

I just need support from other younger LIWs... how are you dealing? These days I hear so many people say wait till you're 25 to get married, many say 30. Do you agree with this? Just want to hear some of your experiences!


Sadly marriage for me seems to be far off...

SO has a year left on his bachelor's and then will probably go for a master's. I have quite a bit of schooling left but when we get married depends on his schedule. We will most likely get married around our 8th anniversary (or 9th?? I don't know). This bums me out more because I won't be moving in before we get engaged/married, and that's something I really look forward to. Anyone else in the same situation?


Thank you for reading, your forum is fabulous!

Fuzzers

I am exactly 25, can I still throw in my .02?

I just wanted to say there's nothing wrong with getting married when you're young. However, the person I was with when I was 20, and thought I was going to marry... well... I imagine being with him now, and it's laughable. He was awful!


Just make sure you listen to your head AND your heart, and don't let the excitement of marriage skew your judgment on marrying the right person. Marriage is tons of work, of course, so make sure you're well-equipped!


Good Luck, and Welcome!

Totally agree as usual... haha I just turned 21 on June 30th and FF is almost 22 (less then a month) It's hard to be young and in a serious relationship. My last relationship 2 1/2 years (hs sweetheart) ended in a messy breakup and broken engagement. He was totally NOT the ONE!!! DO you live together now?! Living together sealed the deal with my ex and I. I realized this was not the man for me; and would never be able to provide the lifestyle I wanted or deserved.

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

Basically, it''s hard to be young because people are always telling you to wait, and you have plenty of time, and blah blah blah. People just are trying to help, but it can be annoying. Marriage is a VERY mature decision and is not all about the ring, dress, and wedding! <--even though thats the fun stuff!

 

[oceanlove]

Hello and welcome!

I''m also new to PS and young. I''m 20 and my SO is 21. We''re planning on getting engaged next year, which would make us 21/22, then having about a 1.5-2 year engagement. About the waiting until you''re 25 or 30 thing...I really think it depends on the person/couple. My parents were married right out of college at 22 and they are still happily married over 30 years later, so I have seen firsthand that young (within reason of course--I recently saw a show about child brides and it freaked me out a little. We''re talking 13 year olds.

) marriages can work. Personally, I want about a year after I''m done with my bachelor''s degree to get my feet wet in grad school or whatever I decide to do, but at 23 (with SO 24) I guess that''s still pretty young. On the other hand, a lot of people need more time to live on their own/decide what they''re looking for in a SO/etc. Everyone gave one of my uncles a hard time because he waited until he was in his 40s to get married. I saw no issue with that either; he knows himself best and it was his decision.

But, like I said, it''s all about the individuals. I''m not worried about people telling us we''re "too young" when we get engaged because we''ve been living together for over a year (it will be over 2 at that point) and everyone we know, especially my family, jokes that we''re already married. They know that we''re both logical and we wouldn''t rush into anything without being 100% sure, so I''m not concerned. However, I would not be surprised by comments from people we don''t know as well, but that comes with the territory I guess.

Anyways, just my opinion.

 

[meresal]

Welcome!!!

As much as we''d love to have you here... just a warning... if you are as far off from an engagement as you say, you may end up going crazy around these boards!!! I had to take a break about 6 months ago, bc my engagment was pushed back a bit, and I was driving myself nuts.

Ditto Elle, just be patient, and enjoy everything. I too thought the guy I dated until I was 21 was the one for me, and turns out ALOT of things change once you graduate and out of the security of a "school every day" routine. It will happen in time.

Enjoy your stay on PS!!!

 

[wishful]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:47:55 AM
Author: elledizzy5


I am exactly 25, can I still throw in my .02?

I just wanted to say there''s nothing wrong with getting married when you''re young. However, the person I was with when I was 20, and thought I was going to marry... well... I imagine being with him now, and it''s laughable. He was awful!

Just make sure you listen to your head AND your heart, and don''t let the excitement of marriage skew your judgment on marrying the right person. Marriage is tons of work, of course, so make sure you''re well-equipped!

Good Luck, and Welcome!

I agree completely. I''m 35! (sorry I know it said 25) and when I look back to my early 20''s and remember who I was at the time and who I was with (I too almost got married - YIKES!) I cringe and thank the LORD I didn''t go through with it. I guess I can only truly speak for myself to say that I did a TON of changing as I went through my 20''s and headed into my 30''s - changing that has really shaped who I am and what I want out of life and out of a serious relationship.

However, that''s not to say people in their young to mid 20''s don''t know what they want and can''t make it work. I know a few and they are happy with families and truly wonderful people. But I know some others that really should be staying single and "finding themselves" before they try to find "the one".

Good luck! Glad you have found your someone special!!!!

 

[fuzzers]

Thank you all for the replies and welcomes.

To me marriage is not about flashy rings and big weddings (since I don''t particularly want/expect to get those things anyway), it''s about making your commitment official. I wouldn''t mind if he proposed with a silver band. And I think we''re extremely commited and mature for our ages. We lasted through 2.5 years of (very) long-distance. I think we have what it takes. So after 4 years, knowing we may wait another 4 years is hard for me.

I won''t move in or buy a place with him before marriage for a variety of reasons which I don''t really want to get into. That makes the wait harder I guess!

Meresal - I will take your warning into consideration!! PS seemed to be full of nice, open-minded ladies (and guys) so I thought this would be a good place to vent.

We''ll see how long I last lol!

 

[sunnyd]

I have a similar story as Elle and Meresal. Starting dating who I thought was THE GUY at 18 and 4 years later realized that ummm no. 4 years seems like a long time, but in the grand scheme of things, it''s barely a drop. Better to wait a little and have it be right then to rush and get divorced...

I''m so positive!!

Having said that, my best friend got married at 20 and her and DH had their 8 year anni and their son just turned 1. Another friend got married at 17 and they have a 12 year old.

 

[dreaming of the day]

Welcome.
I am 24 and I have been with my FF for 6.5 years. I went through the marriage bug with him at 21, thinking that at 23 I would start a family. I am so glad that our time line changed (well my time line, I don''t think he thought about getting engaged then as much as I did!!!) We have an even more fabulous relationship now than we ever have, and we talk about getting married and having a family, but in due time. We will most likely get married in the summer of 2010 (fingers crossed) which would make it 8.5 years together. I never thought I would be ok with that, but as time has gone on I truly am. Of course when you see friends/family get engaged and you knew their exes (I mean they haven''t been together near as long as yourself) it can be dissapointing, and there are many tears, but you get passed it really quickly and enjoy their happiness with them. I always tell myself, my mind constantly changes for what I think is a dream wedding and if I were to get married now I would have to give up the fantasy and make it a reality. I already have a devoted and committed prince charming, I think I will continue dreaming of the fairy tale wedding a little longer... Plus I know now after many years that he is the one for me, and that won''t change if we put a wedding off a little longer - until we have all of our finances in order (student loans to pay, house to buy, etc...)

 

[misscuppycake]

Well I''m 22 (s/o is 25) and we''ve been together 3 years. Even though I love him with all my heart, I''d still very much like to wait until I am more in the 25-age range myself before tying the knot. For me personally, I''d like to get my career going first and just be entirely out of school even before getting engaged. I think in an ideal world, everyone would do that so that finances wouldn''t be such a battle. I don''t really think all that highly of super young marriages just because finances and stability really ARE such vital parts of a marriage IMO. Don''t feel bad about waiting it out. Think of it as a part of the journey. There really is no rush to get married.

 

[bee*]

Welcome! I''m 26 now and I''ve dated D for 9 years and we''ve only moved in just a few weeks ago. Although it was hard not living together for that long, it was worth the wait in getting all of our education out of the way and working and being able to support ourselves (although I went back to college again!). Engagement and marriage will come if it''s meant to be-I think that you''re sensible for waiting until you get your education over and done with before you get engaged. Although I was different in that I didn''t even think of marriage until we were going out about 7 years!

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/15/2008 1:14:09 PM
Author: bee*
Welcome! I'm 26 now and I've dated D for 9 years and we've only moved in just a few weeks ago. Although it was hard not living together for that long, it was worth the wait in getting all of our education out of the way and working and being able to support ourselves (although I went back to college again!). Engagement and marriage will come if it's meant to be-I think that you're sensible for waiting until you get your education over and done with before you get engaged. Although I was different in that I didn't even think of marriage until we were going out about 7 years!

I'm with bee*. Also 26 and BF and I have been together 6 years (living together 2). I am so glad I got the majority of my schooling out of the way before we started talking engagements, him too, really...he's 6 years older than me so he had quite a heads up. If you're in school, I would definitely recommend reaching the first milestones (graduation, moving out on your own) before you start considering marriage--you still have a lot to learn about yourself. Hell I do too and I'll be 27 next year. Moving in together, whether you're married or not, is a huge deal and a very big adjustment. A wedding is also big to-do for many brides and its not easy to juggle so many things at once. In other words, its not something you want to rush.

This is very individual, but based on what I have seen with friends and family, getting married very young can backfire. I was not ready until recently to seriously discuss marriage. For me moving in together was what I needed to see he was the one for me, but thats not to say everyone is the same. However, I do strongly believe that you need to know who you are before you can make a lifelong commitment like marriage--my parents did it young, but they struggled at first, it worked for them but for many couples it doesn't. My best advice is to enjoy your relationship. Try not to compare it to others, or focus on where their's is heading. Your twenties are to enjoy, have fun and be free of things that tie you down later, like children, mortgages, etc.

Congrats on finding a great guy and welcome to PS!

 

[FrekeChild]

Ditto to Bia.

I''m 26 (as of April), and I dated a guy from 16 to almost 20 and thought I''d marry him. Didn''t. So glad I didn''t.

Then I dated another guy from 19-21 and thought I''d marry him. Didn''t. SO GLAD I DIDN''T.

Then I started dating this other guy at 23. He wanted to marry me. I am SO GLAD I didn''t feel the same way and didn''t want to marry him. We broke up shortly afterwards.

And then I met the love of my life at 23, and we''ve been together ever since then.

Take your time. Enjoy being young. I didn''t. I spent my youth thinking about marriage when I should have been having fun and growing into myself. Don''t be in such a rush to grow up.

And definitely finish school first.

 

[princesss]

I don''t think anything is wrong with getting married young, as long as the focus is the marriage (not living together, the wedding, the ring, or, ummm....certain physical activities) and you take the extra steps to make sure you are on the right track. However, I do think it''s smarter to wait until you know yourself better. I think (and this is really just my opinion based on what works for me, so take it with a grain of salt) that people need time living by themselves and truly taking care of themselves before they''re ready to commit to being with somebody else forever.

That said, I don''t think there is any magic age at which a person is ready to get married. A good friend of mine is 22 and her brand-new DH is 21. I have complete faith that they''ll make it because they''re ready for it. They had the long talks about finances, children, mental illness, debilitating and degenerative illness, values, etc. They''ve sat down and looked at the ugly side, too, which I feel many younger people are prone to ignore. (Plus they''re so completely in love it''s ridiculous.)

That said, if I end up marrying my BF (which is the plan) we would be getting married around our 10 year anniversary. Personally, I wouldn''t be comfortable making a big commitment until my mid- to late twenties. But that''s me. Yeah, sometimes it stinks waiting, but think of all the things you can accomplish in that time!

 

[jitterymo]

I''m 24, and BF is 27, and I know that I have the marriage bug bad!!! And I have really really bad for the past 5 or so months. and my BF isn''t quite ready.

I know how you feel about getting misty eyed at commercials and such. I tape every LMN movie and Lifetime movie about marriage and babies and love. hehehe, it is starting to drive my BF nuts! He actually told me that i was coming on a little stong lately...but then he goes and teases me buy saying things like,

me: "there''s no way you''d ever get me to buy you that" - about a basketball hoop
him: "If you buy me that basketball hoop I''ll ask you to marry me".

My favorite one was, "oh, keep rubbing my back and I''ll give you beautiful babies!". hehehe I laughed so hard.

Sorry if this doesn''t help you, but it helps me to type it all out. makes me a little less crazy!

 

[blackpolkadot]

I am 20 and SO is 22. We plan on getting engaged by the end of the year and married next year (I''ll be 21, SO 22). We know we are young and have had many discussions about marriage. We know it will be hard and will be lots of work, but we are willing to give our life together the effort necessary. We are both surrounded by successful, happy marriages (my parents and his 25 years, grandparents 50 years) so we feel confident we can and will have a happy marriage. We are also nearing the end of our schooling. I am doing a 5 year program in 3.5 years and will only have 1 semester left after we get married. SO will be done with his Master''s in a year. We have also somewhat been on our own since we graduated high school. I moved 8 hours away to go to college, so I did a lot of growing up very quickly. So what I am saying is, if you are mature enough to make the decision and have talked about it extensively, then I don''t think there is anything wrong with getting married young. We know we are young, but we have a lot of life ahead of us and we want to spend it together.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

i recently was in a 3 year relationship that started when i was 20 and he was 24. i totally thought we were going to get married (as evidence from my old posts will show) and we lived together for 2 years, had all the talks, and he fell out of love with me after 3 years together. we had done the long distance thing for 6 months (i''m talking about super long distance, alaska and minnesota long distance). we had all the talks about money, school, children, etc. and i am glad i didn''t marry him, i was young and to be honest a bit naive about the ways of the world (not to say that i''m still not or that you are). but i would honestly give it a good hard look at everything being that you are so young still. sorry if this came off a little snarky.

 

[trillionaire]

I have known my SO for 8 years, and we have been dating for nearly 5. (I am 25, SO is 26) All I will say is that the people who I have met that married young almost ALWAYS tell me to wait, and no one regrets waiting until they are older, but many regret getting married really young. The thing that we forget is that these are LIFETIME decisions... you have your kids and your marriage for the rest of your life... so there is really no rush, barring terminal illness or unforeseen tragedy.

I am very different today that I was at 20... A LOT! And I hope to be even MORE different at 28!

On the other hand, I was also never very enamored with the idea of marriage, so I am not totally typical...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

When we got engaged I was 25 and he was 27 and we had been dating since I was 18 and he was 20. To be completely honest, if we had gotten married within a year or two of dating, I don't know if we would have made it. He had already graduated from college when we met, so he was at a different life stage than I was. I was in a place where I needed to focus on myself. When you're in a relationship and you're young, it's tough to balance individual growth with relationship growth. If you factor in marriage where the relationship must come first, it makes it even more difficult to grow individually. I was very up front about the fact that I was putting myself before the relationship while I was still getting my degree and starting my career. I put all of my energy into school and interning, which left very little energy for the relationship and that was tough. It also meant me picking up and moving after graduation to wherever I felt provided the best opportunity for me (not for "us"). If he needed to walk away from the relationship, I understood, but I wasn't really willing to compromise at that point in my life.

After I'd achieved the individual goals I wanted to achieve, that's when I started to consider marriage.

I'm sure that sounds a little b*tchy, but I feel that it is important to put yourself first when you are young and discovering your own independence. I just wanted to share since we did start dating young and we are married, but probably wouldn't have made it if we made that commitment too soon.

 

[kittybean]

Welcome!

I''m 24 and just engaged a month ago (I guess I''m not really a LIW anymore, but I still identify with the ladies here). We''ll be 25 (me) and 28 (him) when we get married next summer.

To echo some of the other sentiments expressed here, I would be in a very, very different position indeed if I had married the guy I was dating when I was 20. He is an alcoholic and a habitual drunk driver. As much as I loved him for the three years I dated him, I am glad I realized that he would make a terrible husband and father.

That said, if you are confident that this is the man you want to marry and that he will be a good husband and father, then you are one lucky girl. Enjoy your time with your wonderful man. Time flies when you''re having fun, so keep having a good time with him, and don''t forget how lucky you are to have someone so special

.

 

[fuzzers]

Oy, there are some scary stories on this thread...

However I''m still confident we are "meant to be." One of the reasons why is because he reminds me of my father whom I love and admire (and he says I remind him of his mom! lol). It''s a shame circumstances are the way they are and we are still young.

I know eight friends/aquaintances my age who are getting married. It''s frustrating, but it doesn''t really impact the way I want to do things. I can''t really imagine getting married at the point I am now (doesn''t make me daydream about it any less!!) Still, how do I keep these pre-proposal thoughts out of my head for the next 4 years? And perhaps less importantly, out of my parents'' heads.

You all have been really kind and insightful.

I would like to hear more from you!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Gosh, now that I just turned 27...this thread makes me feel old.

Ive been with my boyfriend for 10 years now and still dont live with him and probably wont be engaged for somewhere within another 3 years. Don't worry, if it's meant to be things will work out. You don't need to rush things. You are still VERY young.

Besides, I like the saying: Good things come to those who wait. (Lets hope so!!!)

 

[Cass]

Yeah! There are some scary stories in this thread

But I can tell you a good one...

I''m 22 and my fiance (yeah, yeah, I''m not a LIW) is 25. We have been dating for over 4 years and I just got engaged a couple of months ago. If it was up to him, we would have been engaged after a year and a half of dating, BUT my dad shot him down when he asked for his blessing. My dad''s wish was that I finish college. He didn''t want me to get married, have kid and drop out. So anyways, on the night of my graduation my b/f proposed!

I know people have bad stories about getting engaged young and/or married, but I honestly believe this is the right thing for me to do. I know my fiance and I are young, but we know each other very well and we both want the same things in life. I honestly can''t imagine where I would be without him. Together we own a house, cars, 2 dogs and 2 cats... and I have to say I have all this stuff ONLY because I trusted him enough to take over my finances

I knew he only wanted the best for me and to help me out and that is what he has done. He has done nothing but treat me as a princess (don''t get me wrong, he brings me down to reality quite often also)... but, I just know I have found "the one."

If that is truly how you feel, then good for you! I totally understand not wanting a huge lavish wedding or huge rock on your finger, you just want your commitment to be "official." So go for it. Talk to you b/f about it and get his thoughts. Quite honestly, I don''t understand why you need to wait so long. Is it because your parents want you to finish school before you get married? Or is it just what you think is right?

 

[Izzy03]

Hmmm.... I am 23 and my BF is 29. I am also going a little crazy because I will not move in with him until we are married (this has caused many arguments because he looks at all the money we could be saving, but those are my morals!) By the time we are engaged I will be about 25 when I marry which is younger than I had planned for myself, I feel ready. I had to take into account that my BF is older and wants to have family before too long.

Whether or not a marriage works is a crap-shoot! The "right" time to marry is different from person to person. If you are working on a bachelors degree right now I would HIGHLY recommend waiting until you complete the degree before you get married. If starting a family is important to you than 30 may be little late to marry for some, and perfect for others. You may need to lay off the marriage.

Food for thought.....My boss is 35 and just had her second child. She says if she could do her life over again, she would have had her children sooner because in her late 20s she had much more energy. JUST A NOTE!

The bridal bug does bite hard! But for me, my itch comes and goes. It gets easier! I also had to keep myself away from all the wedding websites so I could chill out. Just remember, whether you are his gf, his fiance, or his wife, you are with him! Be thankful for that and enjoy this stage while you can!

 

[INdmbLove]

Dreaming for the Day I have such a similar story... I''m 24-- we''ve been together for a little more than 6.5 years. I wanted to get engaged when I was like 20,20, 21, 22 and I finally saw why people said to wait... I''m SOO glad that we also have waited. I''ve seen many people get engaged during our relationship who have been together less time-- and it did hurt--- but growing up together through the tough times after college, financially, personally, career wise..... I think it just really solidified our relationship.

To the OP, I know what you''re going through.... back when I originally wanted to get engaged when I was 20 or so SO told me he wanted to wait until we were well out of college... that seemed sooo silly to me and I would get angry with him about it. But there is no other way that it could''ve worked out for us.... heck I''m still not sure how we''re going to pay for the wedding lol... but it''ll work out.

Just plan little milestones along the way to celebrate--- maybe vacations, weekends away, anniversary dinners/ celebrations for the two of you. This will give you something to look forward to and distract you away from the distance of the engagement.

 

[smiles]

I am 20 and SO is 21. We have been dating for over 4.5 years and I definately agree with the ladies here it is important to think through this with head and heart . SO and I had to take some time apart (1 month) last summer to see where this was going and how we were feeling and accomplish some things on our own without each other and at the end of it we had both matured a lot.

I think everyone and every relationship is different. I know people that have gotten engaged at my age after 2 months and lived happily ever after and have heard the horror stories as well. Personally, I am in a similar boat to you in that an engagement for me seems far off, and I am okay with that. I have to years left in undergrad and would not want to get married before than and at least 1 yrs of graduate studies. My SO is doing an apprenticeship and will not be licensed for another 5 years... so while he will be earning an income which will be increasing all the time it won''t be toooo much!

I think it''s important to get all your ducks in a row at this age, set yourselves up for success. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourselves while preparing for the challenges you will face. I had no idea how many PS''ers here were in similar boats so thank you for starrting this thread!!! Its very interesting to read!

 

[anchor31]

Hey there!

I was 20 when I first came on here as a LIW. I was engaged 9 months later at 21, and will be married soon at 23, 4 weeks before our 5th dating anniversary. I get a lot of comments too about being young for marriage, but it doesn''t bother me at all. And then on the other hand, we have our Christian friends, who think we are really brave to have waited 5 years!

So it''s all a matter of perspective. We wanted to be married before starting certain aspects of our relationship together, but we didn''t want to use that as an excuse to rush things and it was important to us that we both had diplomas before getting married, so we waited until I graduated college. FI is 3+ years older than me and has been working a great job for about 3 years, so it does help on the financial aspects, I have to admit. Of course, it''s very important to discuss everything before deciding to get married (money, kids, illness, sex, etc.), no matter the age, but I''m sure you know that already.

Different strokes for different folks, right? Many people I meet don''t share my values, convictions or religious views, and those people often don''t understand my decision to marry at 23. Those who do share my views understand it. It''s not a rushed decision, and it''s not an "OMG I''M IN LUV LETS GET MARRIED" kind of thing either. And I don''t think it is for you either. Waiting can be difficult, but it''s worth it.

 

[fuzzers]

Cass - Thanks for sharing your story

We''re waiting because my boyfriend wants to finish his degree(s) first. I am a couple years behind him in school and I''m in a 6-year program so the plan is hopefully to marry before I graduate. I don''t personally think graduating first a necessity, in my situation anyway. So... *crosses fingers* Oh, to clarify, my parents agree with this. They say "waiting too long" to get married is foolish. Don''t know if I agree with this (lol) but I''m afraid in a couple years they will pull SO aside and say "Hey buddy, it''s been 6 years, what exactly is the holdup?" How mortifying.

I know they''re just looking out for me though. We''re a very traditional family I guess.

Izzy - Yep I agree about having kids in your 30''s can be tough. Mom was mid-30''s when she had my brother and I and my folks say they really wish they would have done it sooner! I would like to start a family by 27 or so...

INdmbLove - Thanks so much for your post. It really puts things in perspective.

Glad to know I''m not alone in this.

And to the others above this post whom I haven''t specifically replied to, thank you for adding your input.

 

[fuzzers]

smiles - I agree with what you said about getting our ducks in a row first. I need that pounded into my head with a hammer.

I''m too much of a romantic sometimes while my boyfriend is more practical. Wow I can''t believe I said that because it used to be the exact opposite! I guess we are changing, but we''re making it through the changes so I think this is a good sign.

anchor - First of all congrats! Waiting definitely seems worth it.