Calling madelise!

[madelise]

PHEW! Where have I been?! I just finished my first midterm for the quarter so I'm back for a short while until they hit me with the 2nd round of midterms!

Aud - post pics of your new glasses on!! I wanna see! We need visuals! And I saw your post re: Mimi! I'm so excited for you! I saw that video of her running around the tree.. She looks so adorable<3 I can't wait til she's with you so you can post more pics of her!

StarSparkle - omg. I love all the flowers you keep getting. and go get yourself some off-brand cutesy glasses to wear I've gotten some frames that were ~25-40$.. and they were good quality too! I swear, that sexy librarian look doesn't hurt AT ALL, especially right before bed time And who knows? Maybe if you like em enough, you'll start wearing em every once in a while instead of the contacts!

RSG - I'm so sorry you felt attacked I knew it was going to happen! E.V.E.R.Y time anyone ever mentions financing, people go bonkers. You two are adults, and no one needs to lecture you on how to spend your $. Your SO is totally allowed to have his own "shopping sprees" for his watches, without anyone judging him, just like we are all allowed to have our own bling sprees. Heck, if we don't spend NOW and spoil ourselves NOW, before we have kids, when the heck will we have time to? After kids and mortgage payments.. there won't be the extra $$ bling and watch fund.. I'm currently also awaiting my financial aid results. Something went wrong with my FAFSA, so I have to mail this crap in and wait ~a month for them to send me something so I can show it to the school. -_______-. Financial aid is a pain in the butt, but I guess I can't complain too much.. It is after all, free money, and a privilege. As for the setting and center stone.. no. An H won't be that obviously tinted against the melee, especially since you're getting excellent/ideal cuts. All you'll see is flashes! Under certain lighting, you can tell, but it's never obvious. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/perry-chen-at-lm-steven-kirsch-cushion-halo.169586/ <-- that shows a J with a halo.. so an H will be even less than that. https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ct-oec-victor-canera-split-shank-halo.168492/ <-- is an I. I'm pretty sure both halos were made using F/G melee. It's standard. HTH!

 

[audball]

I kinda did feel attacked...so i'm trying to just let that thread die haha. I understand that they are looking out and i def appreciate it - but like you said it is HARD to see an entire picture with just a few words. I kinda wish i left that whole watch portion out. Oh well... My point was pricescope has changed me, and now all i want is the very best that our budget can buy!! But YES!!!! I am getting a BGD!! LOL. He asked me to send him pics and links in an email. His friends are already starting since i'm off the T&Co bandwagon. Last night his friend said i have to talk to his ring guy "Pierre"...LOL i was like UGHHH no! Haha, he's cute though, he said he is going through the links i gave him, not someone's "guy".

TBH, a LOT has been going on. Guess what?! I have to appeal to get financial aid! haha. I have never used financial aid before, and paid cash for my prior associate degree, but i guess because i already have an associates degree they dont think they should have to pay! LOL. I guess these denials and subsequent appeals happen quite frequently, esp in nursing program because people are underemployed etc and need to go back to school and dont have the $$ to do it. I was FREAKING out at first, i marched to financial aid and advising. I have all the paperwork together and i wrote a nice appeal letter on why i need financial aid and how i couldnt find gainful employment in my prior degree. Unfortunately, i am at a standstill as i cannot appeal until my major is changed to nursing - which is out of my hands, they nursing dept does this - and/or when i'm enrolled in the first class for nursing - which again is out of my hands, they auto enroll us. I'm trying to get some answers if the official acceptance letter is enough to get it appealed. I am a planner so this has been giving me aniexty for the last few days. I must have written like 5 versions of a letter, which no one told me exactly what to write in it...for all i know its gonna be so long they are gonna deny me on the spot

I know. I'm sorry. With the way it was worded, I saw it coming too. Ultimately, I want you to be happy. So that was my only two cents thrown in. If YOU are comfortable with it and YOU are happy with the outcome, that's all that matters.

Definitely stay away from Pierre! Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen! I'm soooo happy he's wiling to go to BGD! You will NOT be disappointed.

Financial Aid blows. It's always something, hang in there and do what you can.

ETA: And madelise said it perfectly re: the halo. You'll be fine down to an H or I. Melee and Diamonds sparkle differently, and all being superbly cut, the center stone will appear whiter. You'll be fine.

 

[star sparkle]

RSG- Sorry you felt attacked! But yeah, it is hard to convey and understand everything in writing, so don't take it personally! After awhile I started "censoring" certain things I posted based on the fact that I could see how things could come across the wrong way, so I just opted not to post it because I didn't want people to misunderstand. It can be a juggling act, for sure.

And I just want to thritto was madelise and aud said about your melee stones - you don't need to worry AT ALL about the stones being a few color grades apart. All you're going to see is gorgeous, blinding sparkle so the color difference is going to appear to be zilch. Yay for BGD, I'm so excited for you!! When I was engaged before, my ering was a Brian Gavin creation from when he was still at Whiteflash and it was beyond gorgeous. Can't wait to see yours!

madelise- Good luck with midterms! When I hear about people doing things like midterms and finals and writing papers, it makes me sooo glad I'm not in school anymore.

Thanks, I also love the flowers! The roses I got last week wilted really quickly, though, because it was so darn hot over the weekend. It made me sad. But it was ok, because he went out of town again on Monday so I got some fresh ones!

OK, my goal will be to make an appointment for sometime next week. Everyone happy now?!

aud- I'm so so so excited for you to get Mimi!! Can't wait until you have her and can share some cute doggy pictures with us!

 

[madelise]

madelise- Good luck with midterms! When I hear about people doing things like midterms and finals and writing papers, it makes me sooo glad I'm not in school anymore.

Thanks, I also love the flowers! The roses I got last week wilted really quickly, though, because it was so darn hot over the weekend. It made me sad. But it was ok, because he went out of town again on Monday so I got some fresh ones!

OK, my goal will be to make an appointment for sometime next week. Everyone happy now?!

Thanks, lol. I have another set of midterms coming up in 2 weeks. Yikes! So I'm starting to study early. I can't wait until I'm not in school any longer.. :X

I'm the WORST with keeping flowers. I've tried using sugar, using soda, using aspirin, using plant food.. meh! SO doesn't get me flowers anymore after I killed them all. Oops.

Can't wait to see what specs you end up with, too!

 

[star sparkle]

Thanks, lol. I have another set of midterms coming up in 2 weeks. Yikes! So I'm starting to study early. I can't wait until I'm not in school any longer.. :X

I laugh in my head at the people who used to always say "Enjoy these years in school because once you're out in the real world, you'll WISH you were still in school!" Um, no. The real world is so much better. (Not trying to rub it in, I promise! )

Good for you for starting to study early! I always had high hopes of doing that but I'm such a procrastinator that it never happened.

I'm the WORST with keeping flowers. I've tried using sugar, using soda, using aspirin, using plant food.. meh! SO doesn't get me flowers anymore after I killed them all. Oops.

Really? I never do anything more than set them on the counter and replenish their water every couple of days, and they stay gorgeous for awhile! Except this time, because it got so hot in my apartment and I wasn't around to open a window or have the AC on. I never even bother with those little plant food packet things that sometimes come with flowers because I don't think they actually do anything?

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Ahhh! Thank you star! I think i learned my lesson and will censor myself more haha...

and all of you: thanks for the comments on the melee vs center stone...I am still learning and since it is not an imminent purchase, i don't want to head over to RT until we are ready to buy. I do notice he never has many "quadex" stones listed, so I'm assuming this might take a while anyways. I do have one question regarding the setting though...Is that a "donut" on the bottom? will i need a spacer between e ring and band?? http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/engagement-rings/pave-and-side-stones/novela-platinum-5372p

@Madelise: i always hate midterms and finals. I usually try to keep my average really high, bc for some reason i psych myself out on those tests! GL on them!!!

I can't keep flowers alive either. i think its a curse. No matter what i do they die lol.


This is the only one i have been able to keep alive

 

[audball]

rsg - that is a small donut. I would probably do a teeny spacer between them because the girdles of the diamonds in the band would be able to scratch at your wedding band.

 

[audball]

Ladies. Help me. I don't know what to do.

I'm having second thoughts about the AuD program. Andrew is completely supportive no matter what I choose, but I'm so torn. No chance of starting full time this year. Part time may be out too (day classes conflict with work and it doesn't look like they'll be flexible). I'm not guaranteed admission or next year. I'll be considered with all the other applicants. Going part time this year would have given me an almost guarantee, but if not than I may not get in, or get wait listed or something.

I'm 25. I'll be 26 this year. I am SO ready to NOT be a student anymore. In addition, I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of quitting my job before Andrew has gainful employment post graduation (in December). So the market sucks. It's highly likely that he could still be looking for work when I'd have to be quitting. That seems incredibly irresponsible and stupid. The idea of 5 more years of being a student, racking up more debt (instead of paying it off), and having all my free time consumed by school, sounds awful honestly.

I know nothing happens as one plans (generally) but I know if we both work full time we'd be able to have all of our student loans paid off in 2-3 years, both be in new (to us) cars that are more reliable, have a healthy savings, and be on to saving for a house, enjoying married life before kid(s), that sort of thing. If I do the program, I'll be nearly 31 before I'm done. And in the meantime, we'd have made little to no progress on our current debt, still be driving old cars, have no savings, and pretty much be starting at ground zero at 31. I want to be able to enjoy our adult married life without school and before kids. Even if just for a little while. It seems like everything will be a rush if we go with the AuD. I'll be busting my ass in school while him at work for the next 5 years. And then we'll have to pinch every penny to get debt paid off, save etc and then I'll be pushing 36+ where we'll have to jump right into having a family because we'd be running out of (biological) time.

Why is this so hard? Ultimately I don't think I'd care about getting another degree if I was actually liked my job. But I don't. And unfortunately, my bachelor's degree just doesn't qualify me for much of anything since it's designed to track you into a graduate program. I'm getting a raise at my current job, which makes wanting to leave an even harder decision. It'll be hard to find a job that pays within 5-10k of what I currently make elsewhere. Not to mention the benefits are AMAZING.

What to do? What would YOU do? There is so much of me that is leaning towards NO more school and just working here until Andrew is gainfully employed. And then I find can work on finding something else I think I would genuinely enjoy (even if it means a pay cut). Then we can save save save, be out of debt in a few years, build up a nice savings, enjoy our adult married life, and then we may be able to work to put me in a position to be able to stay home after we have kids. I certainly would feel less bad about my desire to be a stay at home mom if I didn't rack up additional time and debt getting another degree. I've always dreamed of being a SAHM as my ideal job, since I was young. I could then always find part time work after the kid(s) are school age again to contribute some and get some adult interaction.

I feel like I've already wasted so much time, energy, and money in the last three years chasing a degree that will make me happy. In reality, maybe it's not the degree that will make me happy. Maybe it's financial security. Maybe it's being able to enjoy some beautiful weather on a weekend instead of studying. Maybe it's getting involved in schnauzer rescue. Maybe it's a million other things I never have the time to explore because I'm busy chasing a degree after degree that I end up quitting because I hate.

Maybe another degree isn't the answer. Maybe it's the problem. Degrees cost money. They take time. They take energy. I'm having a hard time allowing myself to go for it when I'm not 100% sure that it will make me happier.

I'm from a very small town. There was always this pressure to do great things and get out of the small town. And now I look at some friends that graduated my same year. They are married, and have been for a few years. They have children or are pregnant. They own houses. And what do they do? One is a dental assistant. One is a hairdresser. There husbands also have median level jobs. And you know what? They're happy. And I'm jealous. I sometimes feel if there hadn't been so much pressure to be all I could be and climb this awful corporate ladder, that I may have already found my happy place.

Sorry for the super long me-centric post. I'm just so upset, confused, down, and unsure about my life and where I'm at. I feel like everyone is going to think I'm a quitter or a failure if I choose to just walk away from school and be a blue collar working adult until I can have kid(s) and stay home. I know I shouldn't care, but it'd hard not to care what other people are going to think and judge about your decisions.

 

[madelise]

I've read your post, Aud, but I'm on my cellphone in the surgical waiting room I'll reply after my midterm. Just know I'm thinking of you!

 

[audball]

I've read your post, Aud, but I'm on my cellphone in the surgical waiting room I'll reply after my midterm. Just know I'm thinking of you!

Thanks sweetie. Lotsa dust for your man! And your midterm Thinking about you two as well today.

 

[star sparkle]

(I'm posting from my phone, so I apologize in advance for typos or if something doesn't make sense!)

It sounds to me like you've been pursuing the AuD because it's something that you thought was expected of you. That's not to say that you didn't ever have an interest in doing it for YOU, because I'm sure you did, but it seems to me that it was more of a feeling of what you SHOULD be doing as opposed to what you WANTED to be doing.

I think you need to figure out what it is that YOU really want out of life. If that's the AuD and the future opportunities that would afford you, great! If that's putting yourself in a position to comfortably be a SAHM, great too! You're right, though, that it doesn't make much sense to put yourself through the financial burden and stress of getting the AuD if that's not what will ultimately make you happy. Don't worry about what others will think of your decisions or what you think might be socially expected of you, do what YOU want that will make you feel happy and most fulfilled. Life is too short to live it trying to please others, you need to do what feels right for you and your future.

I think it's wise to consider what you'd do after the kid(s) are grown and out of the house, though, because obviously they won't be at home forever. If you plan on returning to work, make sure you're in a position to do that. (Obviously there's only so much you can do, but setting yourself up now as much as possible for future success would be wise.)

 

[Mico]

Oh aud, coming from a 29 (omg I'm 29) year old who still lives like a college student here are my thoughts.

1. DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. For me, it was helping people, I like to always be on the go and I plan on doing overseas pro-bono type stuff. For my boyfriend? He was just too smart for his own good and wanted the most relaxing job for the buck. We both went into two respective fields mirroring those goals.

2. I'd like to think that you get out what you put in to anything. Politics aside, I feel like this isn't always the case BUT if the climb is worth the summit - shouldn't you just focus on what can be and go through it?

finally: I hear you, I'm technically out of school and I'm still in it. I'm so tired of not being on my own and being scared that I'm going to be on my own soon. Instead of going straight for fellowship I'm planning on taking a year and doing research just to be sure that I'm going down the right path. Buy july of next year, I'll be 30, a year off, 31, 3 years fellowship... yep - mid 30's before I make anything over 50k on top of loans. Whoever complains about Drs making too much can come and say THAT to my face. BUT... in the end I believe it'll be worth it. There are times I forget why I wanted to do this, and it's moments like that I read my old blogs and remind myself of the little girl in my that first told herself she would be a doctor.

Speaking of, have you seen this video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsOo3jzkhYA

cheer up buttercup, it'll get better. I promise.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

star and nicstx seem to have this covered pretty well and i def agree with what they both have to say. Actually they summed it up pretty nicely!

I am going to be 28 next week and choosing to go back to school (maybe i'll be working UNDER you someday nicstx ) I have a job that is going nowhere and a degree that didn't get me out of the job that is going nowhere. It's scary. It's hard. There's no easy answer here. I live on my own with my bf, he has a semi decent steady job, and i have a steady job with no room for growth and pretty low income... I have the new to me car, we have a gorgeous mill apt and we are happy. I'm scared to death about managing school working full time and im also equally as scared going part time and relying more on my SO for financial security. I have a car payment, credit card bills, cell phone, insurance etc, and will have student loan from my next degree.

I think that in the post it does seem like you feel you are pushed to do the AuD, and that maybe it is something that you lost interest in. What you need to figure out is did you never have full interest in the first place? or have you lost sight of it due to life happening and the "life plan" not playing as you imagine?

I feel for you because i have been where you are in a similar situation. I'm sick of going to school. In some ways i am dreading the path that is ahead of me - in other ways, i look toward the future and how happy i will be with my own career, the ability to feel independant and finally get to that REALLY happy place.

So i think you need to sit back and try to relax. Luckily this isnt a decision that needs to be made in a day...you have plenty of time. There are so many "what if's" in life, and unfortunately you don't usually know the outcome until it happens. I am glad that A is such a good support system for you & i'm equally as happy that you can feel safe confiding in us group of LIW.

dust and you are in my thoughts

 

[madelise]

Aud, I adore you. You are an amazing individual. I am so sad you are frustrated

#1 thing I'm going to tackle: Don't feel like you "wasted" your years getting your bachelors in CSD.

You gave me a whole novel on information about your alma mater's SLP program before, in this same exact thread. Can you think about this? I know you've always focused on AuD, and always planned on it.. but take a moment to consider changing routes.

With an SLP degree:
- You didn't "waste" your years doing your bachelors in CSD.
- You can attend your alma mater as a part-time AND online student. Which means you can keep your day job and not need to fret over finances. You can cuddle with Darwin and Mimi while studying at any random hour in PJs!
- As an SLP, you can work in the school setting and get off work at 3PM and have all holidays and summer breaks off to spend with your kids. That will help you fulfill that want of being a SAHM without actually being a SAHM. And, since you like amazing benefits, school systems' benefits and pension are AMAZING.
- As an SLP, you can also work a lot of registry jobs. Pick up shifts at places when you want to, and don't work when you don't want to. Heck, work just one shift a month if you want, and if you're saving for something, work a million hours. It's your choice. Hospital settings let you do swallow evaluations at variable hours. You can work only at night, when SO is home with the kids. You can work only weekends. You can work WHATEVER HOURS YOU WANT.
- You value happiness. SLPs rate on a few of those articles flying around the 'net, as a very rewarding career. SLPs are happy.

Okay, enough promotion for trying to get you to join "my" side

You can also use a CSD degree to be a SLPA (I think you only need to take 2 more classes), which starts paying at $25/hour in this area.. or an audiometrist or hearing aid dispenser. My cousin was offered a first job with her audiometrist license and hearing aid dispensing license that pays $30 per client. Each client only takes, what.. 20 minutes? 30 minutes? And you would only have to take a few short classes.

#2

There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. But I don't feel like it's "you". I don't know you super well, so sorry if I'm completely wrong :X But I do know that you like to be financially smart and stable, and value financial security. Will you be okay with being a SAHM? Will you be okay with pay cuts?

#3

Yes, your SO is in a field that pays very well. But there are always emergencies. Heck, a lot of our friends from my SO's graduating class got laid off because they worked for the DOD, and our government's been kind of kaput on spending money there. They didn't see it coming at all. There are always health emergencies. Freak accidents. Divorces (I KNOW, SO SO SORRY, NOT THE TYPE OF BOARD TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS!). Death. I'm not trying to be freaky-pessimistic here, but it happens. You're in a position where you can go into a field by sacrificing 3 years of your life, and be able to take care of your family on your income in case of any of these disasters.

#4

Don't put timelines on yourself. You don't need to rush. I think you're totally psyching yourself out here! Don't put timelines on your eggs (lol that sounds so ridiculous if you say it out loud). People are having kids in their 40's, and are perfectly healthy. Don't put timelines on your education. You can always go back later. I have classmates that are in their 40's and 50's! One guy is in his 60's! And they're doing very well! A heckava lot better than some 20 year old classmates.

So breathe. You don't have to make your decision ASAP about your future. The only thing you need to tackle now is: Do you want to go part-time this upcoming school year. That's it. Figure the rest out when you're ready to. I know you're a planner. I know you want to plan out the next 40 years, day by day. Heck, I do. But take a breather Focus on now. We all have to remind ourselves that. Regardless of what you end up doing, you'll be fine. You're a believer of fate, right? Things will happen for you if they're meant to be.

You have my contact if you want to vent and thank you for thinking of us today. If you've noticed on FB, he's back at being his gay, jolly and silly self--- tenfold because of Vicodin.

 

[madelise]

Tumbleweed..... *whistles*.

Where iz you?

 

[audball]

Hi ladies! Sorry I didn't chime in last night. I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a few weeks and time got away from me! I'll respond to each of you now. Thank you all in advance for your kind words and thoughts.

 

[audball]

(I'm posting from my phone, so I apologize in advance for typos or if something doesn't make sense!)

It sounds to me like you've been pursuing the AuD because it's something that you thought was expected of you. That's not to say that you didn't ever have an interest in doing it for YOU, because I'm sure you did, but it seems to me that it was more of a feeling of what you SHOULD be doing as opposed to what you WANTED to be doing.

I think you need to figure out what it is that YOU really want out of life. If that's the AuD and the future opportunities that would afford you, great! If that's putting yourself in a position to comfortably be a SAHM, great too! You're right, though, that it doesn't make much sense to put yourself through the financial burden and stress of getting the AuD if that's not what will ultimately make you happy. Don't worry about what others will think of your decisions or what you think might be socially expected of you, do what YOU want that will make you feel happy and most fulfilled. Life is too short to live it trying to please others, you need to do what feels right for you and your future.

I think it's wise to consider what you'd do after the kid(s) are grown and out of the house, though, because obviously they won't be at home forever. If you plan on returning to work, make sure you're in a position to do that. (Obviously there's only so much you can do, but setting yourself up now as much as possible for future success would be wise.)

star sparkle - I think I've been pursuing more education period since I first graduated in 2009 because I was feeling pushed to do MORE. I had an interest in AuD at some point for sure. I'm actually wondering if my re-attraction to it was more because I really want to do THAT or more because I don't want to do THIS. You're right, I do need to figure out what I really want. I've been trying for the last several years to do just that to no avail. My biggest concern with quitting altogether now, even though NOW we'd be okay financially and we'd meet/exceed our goals of me getting to stay home and paying off debts, buying a house, etc, what about once the kid(s) are school age and I have nothing much to do during the day? I presume at some point I'll WANT to go back to work, even if just part time, and I'm not sure I could get back into the workplace easily if I quit my current cushy job to stay home several years down the line since I don't have much education to back up my skills. So your point there was well received, it's one of my biggest concerns too.

 

[audball]

Oh aud, coming from a 29 (omg I'm 29) year old who still lives like a college student here are my thoughts.

1. DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. For me, it was helping people, I like to always be on the go and I plan on doing overseas pro-bono type stuff. For my boyfriend? He was just too smart for his own good and wanted the most relaxing job for the buck. We both went into two respective fields mirroring those goals.

2. I'd like to think that you get out what you put in to anything. Politics aside, I feel like this isn't always the case BUT if the climb is worth the summit - shouldn't you just focus on what can be and go through it?
finally: I hear you, I'm technically out of school and I'm still in it. I'm so tired of not being on my own and being scared that I'm going to be on my own soon. Instead of going straight for fellowship I'm planning on taking a year and doing research just to be sure that I'm going down the right path. Buy july of next year, I'll be 30, a year off, 31, 3 years fellowship... yep - mid 30's before I make anything over 50k on top of loans. Whoever complains about Drs making too much can come and say THAT to my face. BUT... in the end I believe it'll be worth it. There are times I forget why I wanted to do this, and it's moments like that I read my old blogs and remind myself of the little girl in my that first told herself she would be a doctor.

Speaking of, have you seen this video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsOo3jzkhYA

cheer up buttercup, it'll get better. I promise.

nicstx - Thank you for your input. Happiness is something I've been considering more. The last several years education and more classes has been a means to an end. My grades were slacking (used to be a straight A students, now more Bs and an occasional C which used to BOTHER me and it just, doesn't, now). I'm ready to be a full fledged adult without kids. Be able to do things on the weekend, in the evenings, enjoy nice weather, take a weekend trip. I can never do these things because I can't afford to and I don't have the time to. I feel like by going to school another 5 years that I'll whittle away the rest of my 20s and may regret it later. I know it could be worse. I know it could be better. I also know that walking away NOW doesn't mean I can't come back LATER. It feels like such a big decision that I'm having a really hard time making it.

And thanks for the video link. No I hadn't seen that. Thanks for making me cry and second guess myself again

 

[audball]

star and nicstx seem to have this covered pretty well and i def agree with what they both have to say. Actually they summed it up pretty nicely!

I am going to be 28 next week and choosing to go back to school (maybe i'll be working UNDER you someday nicstx ) I have a job that is going nowhere and a degree that didn't get me out of the job that is going nowhere. It's scary. It's hard. There's no easy answer here. I live on my own with my bf, he has a semi decent steady job, and i have a steady job with no room for growth and pretty low income... I have the new to me car, we have a gorgeous mill apt and we are happy. I'm scared to death about managing school working full time and im also equally as scared going part time and relying more on my SO for financial security. I have a car payment, credit card bills, cell phone, insurance etc, and will have student loan from my next degree.

I think that in the post it does seem like you feel you are pushed to do the AuD, and that maybe it is something that you lost interest in. What you need to figure out is did you never have full interest in the first place? or have you lost sight of it due to life happening and the "life plan" not playing as you imagine?

I feel for you because i have been where you are in a similar situation. I'm sick of going to school. In some ways i am dreading the path that is ahead of me - in other ways, i look toward the future and how happy i will be with my own career, the ability to feel independant and finally get to that REALLY happy place.

So i think you need to sit back and try to relax. Luckily this isnt a decision that needs to be made in a day...you have plenty of time. There are so many "what if's" in life, and unfortunately you don't usually know the outcome until it happens. I am glad that A is such a good support system for you & i'm equally as happy that you can feel safe confiding in us group of LIW.

dust and you are in my thoughts

I know it CAN be done. I have friends in my first undergrad who are 15 years+ my senior, have families, full time jobs, and husbands and manage to do this. But they WANTED it. Passion has to be there for you to get through the financial, time, and energy sacrifices. And I think my candle is burning out. I don't if that means I just need a break or if that means that I'm done. I just don't know.

In some ways I have plenty of time to decide, in others, not so much. I didn't get in full time this year because there were no seats available. I can start part time this year if I want. The dilemma is that class is a day class and I'd have to work it out with my job to make up around 6 hours a week to do it. I'm not sure I want to tell them I'm considering this change because then they'd know if I did make this choice I'd be leaving effective next year. IF I CHANGE MY MIND, I kind of don't want my current job to be in jeopardy. If I DON'T do the part time classes, my admission for 2013 won't be guaranteed. I'd just be one applicant in the pool of 150ish and I'd have to be one of the top 14 candidates to get a seat or there is a chance I'd get wait listed. And like this year, there were no spots for a wait listed student so I could end up NOT getting in next year anyway. IF I DO the part time track, I'll be given priority consideration for a spot next year but then if I change my mind my job could be in jeopardy. And this decision about whether to go part time next year or not they need to know ASAP.

 

[audball]

Aud, I adore you. You are an amazing individual. I am so sad you are frustrated

#1 thing I'm going to tackle: Don't feel like you "wasted" your years getting your bachelors in CSD.

You gave me a whole novel on information about your alma mater's SLP program before, in this same exact thread. Can you think about this? I know you've always focused on AuD, and always planned on it.. but take a moment to consider changing routes.

With an SLP degree:
- You didn't "waste" your years doing your bachelors in CSD.
- You can attend your alma mater as a part-time AND online student. Which means you can keep your day job and not need to fret over finances. You can cuddle with Darwin and Mimi while studying at any random hour in PJs!
- As an SLP, you can work in the school setting and get off work at 3PM and have all holidays and summer breaks off to spend with your kids. That will help you fulfill that want of being a SAHM without actually being a SAHM. And, since you like amazing benefits, school systems' benefits and pension are AMAZING.
- As an SLP, you can also work a lot of registry jobs. Pick up shifts at places when you want to, and don't work when you don't want to. Heck, work just one shift a month if you want, and if you're saving for something, work a million hours. It's your choice. Hospital settings let you do swallow evaluations at variable hours. You can work only at night, when SO is home with the kids. You can work only weekends. You can work WHATEVER HOURS YOU WANT.
- You value happiness. SLPs rate on a few of those articles flying around the 'net, as a very rewarding career. SLPs are happy.

Okay, enough promotion for trying to get you to join "my" side

You can also use a CSD degree to be a SLPA (I think you only need to take 2 more classes), which starts paying at $25/hour in this area.. or an audiometrist or hearing aid dispenser. My cousin was offered a first job with her audiometrist license and hearing aid dispensing license that pays $30 per client. Each client only takes, what.. 20 minutes? 30 minutes? And you would only have to take a few short classes.

#2

There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. But I don't feel like it's "you". I don't know you super well, so sorry if I'm completely wrong :X But I do know that you like to be financially smart and stable, and value financial security. Will you be okay with being a SAHM? Will you be okay with pay cuts?

#3

Yes, your SO is in a field that pays very well. But there are always emergencies. Heck, a lot of our friends from my SO's graduating class got laid off because they worked for the DOD, and our government's been kind of kaput on spending money there. They didn't see it coming at all. There are always health emergencies. Freak accidents. Divorces (I KNOW, SO SO SORRY, NOT THE TYPE OF BOARD TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS!). Death. I'm not trying to be freaky-pessimistic here, but it happens. You're in a position where you can go into a field by sacrificing 3 years of your life, and be able to take care of your family on your income in case of any of these disasters.

#4

Don't put timelines on yourself. You don't need to rush. I think you're totally psyching yourself out here! Don't put timelines on your eggs (lol that sounds so ridiculous if you say it out loud). People are having kids in their 40's, and are perfectly healthy. Don't put timelines on your education. You can always go back later. I have classmates that are in their 40's and 50's! One guy is in his 60's! And they're doing very well! A heckava lot better than some 20 year old classmates.

So breathe. You don't have to make your decision ASAP about your future. The only thing you need to tackle now is: Do you want to go part-time this upcoming school year. That's it. Figure the rest out when you're ready to. I know you're a planner. I know you want to plan out the next 40 years, day by day. Heck, I do. But take a breather Focus on now. We all have to remind ourselves that. Regardless of what you end up doing, you'll be fine. You're a believer of fate, right? Things will happen for you if they're meant to be.

You have my contact if you want to vent and thank you for thinking of us today. If you've noticed on FB, he's back at being his gay, jolly and silly self--- tenfold because of Vicodin.

Thanks dear. I adore you too.

I don't feel like I've wasted any time for what I did in my first degree. I made some life long friends and really enjoyed my time there. Even if I never do anything with it, those years were a good experience for me.

As for your push for the SLP. I've thought about it. I really have. I'm actually going to talk to my friend about it soon (she's in that online track) to get some more insider information. I'm not sure that it's really for me either. But at least I could be working while doing it (assuming I could find a job). Though there is still the thought of taking out loans to pay for it since there would be little chance for financial aid there. If it was ultimately what I really wanted to do, it could be worth it, but I'm not sure if it fits the bill either. but I do promise I'm looking into it too.

In our state you can only be an SLPA for 2 years before you MUST be enrolled in a Masters program. So I would have to make that decision before going in because I wouldn't want to quit my current job for an SLPA gig to change my mind, not be able to get my current job back, and be stuck having to find something else again after 2 years there.

I think I would love being a SAHM for at least the toddler years. I would definitely not want to be a SAHM for 18+. I have NO clue what I'd do with all my time once the kid(s) were in school during the day. But then again I have friends who swore they didn't want to stay home and then did and ones who swore they wanted to and then didn't. It's hard to say how I'd feel until it's in front of me I guess. Which is why I'd really like to be able to potentially have either as an option.

Yes, Andrew is in a well paying field but you are right. Jobs are still hard to find and there are other things that could happen. I don't love the idea of being totally 100% dependent on him at this point in my life (which is another reason having to quit my job to do the AuD kind of terrifies me). Not to mention, as an SLP there are MORE opportunities for work than with AuD and the pay is around the same (if you're not in the school system).

I'm trying not to put time lines on myself, but it's hard. I'm a planner. I like to have an idea about what is happening. I like how you isolated the one decision I need to make right now. Honestly, I'm leaning towards no. That I don't want to go part time this year. Which makes me feel a little like a quitter and a failure.

ETA: I'm glad to hear he's feeling better! I saw one of his 'sayings' on your facebook status. Haha. Awesome.

 

[Mico]

I know the quitter/failure feeling - I'm kinda going through it now with the research vs. push to fellowship. I'm a planner too.

In the end, I honestly believe what is mean to happen, will. I know this isn't how a lot of people think, but if you knew the scarily freaky things that ended up with me being a doctor (another story), you would understand this.

Make sure you don't make any decisions while you're in this down state. It's always good to write it out (like you've done) with a completely objective, non-biased, HARSH criticism of each path. If you're honest and read and re-read what you're writing - you'll figure it out. I've found my opinions and perceptions change based on how hopeless/miserable/happy I feel.

Last week? I was questioning even doing a fellowship. This week? I'm rounding on my prospective field and am falling in love all over again.

Step back, try to remember what you've wanted since the beginning and see if that would still make you happy. Don't let current disappointments lead you down a path just because they may be easier.

<3
me

 

[audball]

I know the quitter/failure feeling - I'm kinda going through it now with the research vs. push to fellowship. I'm a planner too.

In the end, I honestly believe what is mean to happen, will. I know this isn't how a lot of people think, but if you knew the scarily freaky things that ended up with me being a doctor (another story), you would understand this.

Make sure you don't make any decisions while you're in this down state. It's always good to write it out (like you've done) with a completely objective, non-biased, HARSH criticism of each path. If you're honest and read and re-read what you're writing - you'll figure it out. I've found my opinions and perceptions change based on how hopeless/miserable/happy I feel.

Last week? I was questioning even doing a fellowship. This week? I'm rounding on my prospective field and am falling in love all over again.

Step back, try to remember what you've wanted since the beginning and see if that would still make you happy. Don't let current disappointments lead you down a path just because they may be easier.

<3
me

Thanks. That's why I'm thinking I should say no to the part time track for this year. I'm feeling pressured to answer right now and I'm not ready to. And it would give me a little over a year off where I can recharge and decide if I have it in me to go back for something, whether it's the AuD or not. And like you said, if I'm meant to do the AuD, then I'll get in next year. If not, then that's the way it's supposed to be.

 

[madelise]

Make sure you don't make any decisions while you're in this down state. It's always good to write it out (like you've done) with a completely objective, non-biased, HARSH criticism of each path. If you're honest and read and re-read what you're writing - you'll figure it out.

great advice.

Aud- I didn't know you could only be a SLPA for 2 years in your state. Here, people have made a career out of it! Odd.. I'm glad you got to go out with your friend last night. I was just like Don't tell me she's THAT upset! and if you like nicstx's sappy youtube, you can look up more sappy stories : ) They always make me want to help others.

If you want to be a SAHM for the toddler years, go for it! Why not?! You can always pick up schooling again when they're old enough for daycare, kindergarten or the grade school years! I always thought it was super cute to say, "alright honey, let's do homework together!".. and then warning: more SLP promoting you can work their hours and totally pick them up and spend all day with them after you're both off school! HAHA. (Can you take a hint on what I'm aiming to do? )

You are not a quitter or failure to say no to the part-time opening. Don't feel that way at all! It's a smarter decision to not rush into it

 

[audball]

Make sure you don't make any decisions while you're in this down state. It's always good to write it out (like you've done) with a completely objective, non-biased, HARSH criticism of each path. If you're honest and read and re-read what you're writing - you'll figure it out.

great advice.

Aud- I didn't know you could only be a SLPA for 2 years in your state. Here, people have made a career out of it! Odd.. I'm glad you got to go out with your friend last night. I was just like Don't tell me she's THAT upset! and if you like nicstx's sappy youtube, you can look up more sappy stories : ) They always make me want to help others.

If you want to be a SAHM for the toddler years, go for it! Why not?! You can always pick up schooling again when they're old enough for daycare, kindergarten or the grade school years! I always thought it was super cute to say, "alright honey, let's do homework together!".. and then warning: more SLP promoting you can work their hours and totally pick them up and spend all day with them after you're both off school! HAHA. (Can you take a hint on what I'm aiming to do? )

You are not a quitter or failure to say no to the part-time opening. Don't feel that way at all! It's a smarter decision to not rush into it

Thanks. Yeah, our state doesn't regularly employ SLPAs. Yeah, I'm more frustrated with having to make a decision than upset, really. There are so many options and choices it is hard.

You'll be happy to know that I am seriously considering the SLP consortium track that my school offers. I called my friend who is finishing year 2 of it and she's telling me to go for it. She joined her cohort 2 years ago ONE WEEK before classes started. So she thinks if I emailed the program director that starting this fall wouldn't be a problem. I sent the note, we shall see. I've also applied for SLPA positions in her county. She told me what she makes and it's teacher pay + a stipend for SLP and it ends up coming out to a hair more than I make now! Woot! And summers off (to do practicum for the program) and it finishes in 3 years. She's also receiving a "scholarship" that may still be available that pays 2,500/semester for people in the consortium track. She said her out of pocket expenses have only been about 1,000/semester. It may be a winner all around....

I went ahead and emailed the AuD program director and said that I won't be doing the part time track next year. That I wasn't able to work it out with work (not entirely true) and that I couldn't risk my position here in case admission next year doesn't work out. I'm sure she'll be understanding.

So, dust, please? For things to work out how they're supposed to?

 

[star sparkle]

star sparkle - I think I've been pursuing more education period since I first graduated in 2009 because I was feeling pushed to do MORE. I had an interest in AuD at some point for sure. I'm actually wondering if my re-attraction to it was more because I really want to do THAT or more because I don't want to do THIS. You're right, I do need to figure out what I really want. I've been trying for the last several years to do just that to no avail. My biggest concern with quitting altogether now, even though NOW we'd be okay financially and we'd meet/exceed our goals of me getting to stay home and paying off debts, buying a house, etc, what about once the kid(s) are school age and I have nothing much to do during the day? I presume at some point I'll WANT to go back to work, even if just part time, and I'm not sure I could get back into the workplace easily if I quit my current cushy job to stay home several years down the line since I don't have much education to back up my skills. So your point there was well received, it's one of my biggest concerns too.

I can definitely relate, my whole education was me constantly feeling like I was being pushed to do more more more more. Like somehow what I had already accomplished wasn't enough? I'm not going to complain, though, my schooling definitely got me to a place and a career that I absolutely adore making a great salary that I never would have imagined at my age.

Like madelise said, I think you should cut yourself a bit of slack. You don't have to make a decision RIGHT NOW about how the rest of your life is going to go. You just need to focus on the immediate future and what you want for the moment. That is sooo hard to do as someone who is a planner and likes to always know what's coming down the line, but I think you're beating yourself up over something that doesn't need an immediate fix. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to do and how to proceed. You're only 25!!! It's of course a good plan to have a general idea of where your life is going, but these types of huge decisions should only be made once you have all the tools to MAKE the decisions. Because what if Andrew DOESN'T find a job right away? That would certainly going to affect your future and future plans. So I would think you should at least wait until you know what your situation is going to be before you make plans that will have a huge impact on your future.

 

[audball]

I can definitely relate, my whole education was me constantly feeling like I was being pushed to do more more more more. Like somehow what I had already accomplished wasn't enough? I'm not going to complain, though, my schooling definitely got me to a place and a career that I absolutely adore making a great salary that I never would have imagined at my age.

Like madelise said, I think you should cut yourself a bit of slack. You don't have to make a decision RIGHT NOW about how the rest of your life is going to go. You just need to focus on the immediate future and what you want for the moment. That is sooo hard to do as someone who is a planner and likes to always know what's coming down the line, but I think you're beating yourself up over something that doesn't need an immediate fix. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to do and how to proceed. You're only 25!!! It's of course a good plan to have a general idea of where your life is going, but these types of huge decisions should only be made once you have all the tools to MAKE the decisions. Because what if Andrew DOESN'T find a job right away? That would certainly going to affect your future and future plans. So I would think you should at least wait until you know what your situation is going to be before you make plans that will have a huge impact on your future.

Thanks star. I did make one decision today. NOT to do the part time track. I've put out some feelers about an SLPA job and starting the online consortium this fall. This at least buys me the time to see what happens with Andrew this year. And if I went the SLPA gig, I'd be making as much as I do now and the tuition isn't super outrageous semester to semester since it's more part time. That seems like the most viable option to further my education, keep employment/income, and given me flexibility in the future for kid(s) while still using my degree in this field.

 

[star sparkle]

Thanks star. I did make one decision today. NOT to do the part time track. I've put out some feelers about an SLPA job and starting the online consortium this fall. This at least buys me the time to see what happens with Andrew this year. And if I went the SLPA gig, I'd be making as much as I do now and the tuition isn't super outrageous semester to semester since it's more part time. That seems like the most viable option to further my education, keep employment/income, and given me flexibility in the future for kid(s) while still using my degree in this field.

Awesome! Are you feeling a little more relaxed and at ease now?

 

[audball]

Awesome! Are you feeling a little more relaxed and at ease now?

Somewhat. I'm still super anxious/nervous about making the wrong decision. I'm more comfortable with the idea of the SLPA idea since my pay wouldn't change and my classes being online would be somewhat flexible allowing me to be home with Andrew and the pets in the evening (at least after he graduates and gets a real job after December).

I'm trying to have the mantra that whatever is supposed to happen will. So I'm throwing my hate into the ring for the SLPA/Consortium track. I have my hat in the ring for the AuD class starting in Fall 2013. For now, I'll just sit back and watch how things play out and make decisions as they come up.

 

[star sparkle]

Somewhat. I'm still super anxious/nervous about making the wrong decision. I'm more comfortable with the idea of the SLPA idea since my pay wouldn't change and my classes being online would be somewhat flexible allowing me to be home with Andrew and the pets in the evening (at least after he graduates and gets a real job after December).

I'm trying to have the mantra that whatever is supposed to happen will. So I'm throwing my hate into the ring for the SLPA/Consortium track. I have my hat in the ring for the AuD class starting in Fall 2013. For now, I'll just sit back and watch how things play out and make decisions as they come up.

I hear ya on that, sometimes I hate making decisions because I'm afraid of making the wrong one. I think believing that whatever is supposed to happen will happen, because it will. When I first left grad school it took me almost a year to get hired (which is obviously not what I had planned), and the job offer I had gotten was at the bottom of my list of preferences for what job I wanted. But now looking back on it, this is the absolute best thing that could have happened to me. I LOVE my job and can't imagine doing anything that I'd love more than this. I was nervous and feeling inadequate because it DID take so long to get hired and it WASN'T my top choice, or even one of my top three choices. At the end of the day, though, I'm the happiest that I could ever imagine being.

You'll get to where you need to be, I promise. It may take awhile and it may not be the way you thought you'd get there, but it'll happen.

 

[audball]

Thanks again, star sparkle. I'm just going to take it one day at a time.